grrm.astormofswords-第203章

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nuts；　and　slivers　of　swan　poached　in　a　sauce　of　saffron　and　peaches。　（〃Not　swan　again；〃　Tyrion　muttered；　remembering　his　supper　with　his　sister　on　the　eve　of　battle。）　A　juggler　kept　a　half…dozen　swords　and　axes　whirling　through　the　air　as　skewers　of　blood　sausage　were　brought　sizzling　to　the　tables；　a　juxtaposition　that　Tyrion　thought　passing　clever；　though　not　perhaps　in　the　best　of　taste。
　The　heralds　blew　their　trumpets。　〃To　sing　for　the　golden　lute；〃　one　cried；　〃we　give　you　Galyeon　of　Cuy。〃
　Galyeon　was　a　big　barrel…chested　man　with　a　black　beard；　a　bald　head；　and　a　thunderous　voice　that　filled　every　corner　of　the　throne　room。　He　brought　no　fewer　than　six　musicians　to　play　for　him。　〃Noble　lords　and　ladies　fair；　I　sing　but　one　song　for　you　this　night；〃　he　announced。　〃It　is　the　song　of　the　Blackwater；　and　how　a　realm　was　saved。〃　The　drummer　began　a　slow　ominous　beat。
　〃The　dark　lord　broodedhigh　in　his　tower；〃　Galyeon　began；　〃in　a　castle　as　black　as　the　night。〃
　〃Black　was　his　hair　and　black　was　his　soul；〃　the　musicians　chanted　in　unison。　A　flute　came　in。
　〃He　feasted　on　bloodlust　and　envy；　and　filled　his　cup　full　up　with　spite；〃　sang　Galyeon。　〃My　brother　once　ruled　seven　kingdoms；　he　said　to　his　harridan　wife。　Ill　take　what　was　his　and　make　it　all　mine。　Let　his　son　feel　the　point　of　my　knife。〃
　〃A　brave　young　boy　with　hair　of　gold；〃　his　players　chanted；　as　a　woodharp　and　a　fiddle　began　to　play。
　〃if　I　am　ever　Hand　again；　the　first　thing　I'll　do　is　hang　all　the　singers；〃　said　Tyrion；　too　loudly。
　Lady　Leonette　laughed　lightly　beside　him；　and　Ser　Garlan　leaned　over　to　say；　〃A　valiant　deed　unsung　is　no　less　valiant。〃
　〃The　dark　lord　assembled　his　legions；　they　gathered　around　him　like　crows。　And　thirsty　for　blood　they　boarded　their　ships　。　。　。〃
　〃　。　。　。　and　cut　off　poor　Tyrion's　nose；〃　Tyrion　finished。
　Lady　Leonette　giggled。　〃Perhaps　you　should　be　a　singer；　my　lord。　You　rhyme　as　well　as　this　Galyeon。〃
　〃No；　my　lady；〃　Ser　Garlan　said。　〃My　lord　of　Lannister　was　made　to　do　great　deeds；　not　to　sing　of　them。　But　for　his　chain　and　his　wildfire；　the　foe　would　have　been　across　the　river。　And　if　Tyrion's　wildlings　had　not　slain　most　of　Lord　Stannis's　scouts；　we　would　never　have　been　able　to　take　him　unawares。〃
　His　words　made　Tyrion　feel　absurdly　grateful；　and　helped　to　mollify　him　as　Galyeon　sang　endless　verses　about　the　valor　of　the　boy　king　and　his　mother；　the　golden　queen。
　〃She　never　did　that；〃　Sansa　blurted　out　suddenly。
　〃Never　believe　anything　you　hear　in　a　song；　my　lady。〃　Tyrion　summoned　a　serving　man　to　refill　their　wine　cups。
　Soon　it　was　full　night　outside　the　tall　windows；　and　still　Galyeon　sang　on。　His　song　had　seventy…seven　verses；　though　it　seemed　more　like　a　thousand。　One　for　every　guest　in　the　hall。　Tyrion　drank　his　way　through　the　last　twenty　or　so；　to　help　resist　the　urge　to　stuff　mushrooms　in　his　ears。　By　the　time　the　singer　had　taken　his　bows；　some　of　the　guests　were　drunk　enough　to　begin　providing　unintentional　entertainments　of　their　own。　Grand　Maester　Pycelle　fell　asleep　while　dancers　from　the　Summer　Isles　swirled　and　spun　in　robes　made　of　bright　feathers　and　smoky　silk。　Roundels　of　elk　stuffed　with　ripe　blue　cheese　were　being　brought　out　when　one　of　Lord　Rowan's　knights　stabbed　a　Dornishman。　The　gold　cloaks　dragged　them　both　away；　one　to　a　cell　to　rot　and　the　other　to　get　sewn　up　by　Maester　Ballabar。
　Tyrion　was　toying　with　a　leche　of　brawn；　spiced　with　cinnamon；　cloves；　sugar；　and　almond　milk；　when　King　Joffrey　lurched　suddenly　to　his　feet。　〃Bring　on　my　royal　jousters！〃　he　shouted　in　a　voice　thick　with　wine；　clapping　his　hands　together。
　My　nephew　is　drunker　than　I　am；　Tyrion　thought　as　the　gold　cloaks　opened　the　great　doors　at　the　end　of　the　hall。　From　where　he　sat；　he　could　only　see　the　tops　of　two　striped　lances　as　a　pair　of　riders　entered　side　by　side。　A　wave　of　laughter　followed　them　down　the　center　aisle　toward　the　king。　They　must　be　riding　ponies；　he　concluded　。　。　。　until　they　came　into　full　view。
　The　jousters　were　a　pair　of　dwarfs。　One　was　mounted　on　an　ugly　grey　dog；　long　of　leg　and　heavy　of　jaw。　The　other　rode　an　immense　spotted　sow。　Painted　wooden　armor　clattered　and　clacked　as　the　little　knights　bounced　up　and　down　in　their　saddles。　Their　shields　were　bigger　than　they　were；　and　they　wrestled　manfully　with　their　lances　as　they　clomped　along；　swaying　this　way　and　that　and　eliciting　gusts　of　mirth。　one　knight　was　all　in　gold；　with　a　black　stag　painted　on　his　shield；　the　other　wore　grey　and　white；　and　bore　a　wolf　device。　Their　mounts　were　barded　likewise。　Tyrion　glanced　along　the　dais　at　all　the　laughing　faces。　Joffrey　was　red　and　breathless；　Tornmen　was　hooting　and　hopping　up　and　down　in　his　seat；　Cersei　was　chuckling　politely；　and　even　Lord　Tywin　looked　mildly　amused。　Of　all　those　at　the　high　table；　only　Sansa　Stark　was　not　smiling。　He　could　have　loved　her　for　that；　but　if　truth　be　told　the　Stark　girl's　eyes　were　far　away；　as　if　she　had　not　even　seen　the　ludicrous　riders　loping　toward　her。
　The　dwarfs　are　not　to　blame；　Tyrion　decided。　When　they　are　done；　I　shall　pliment　them　and　give　them　a　fat　purse　of　silver。　And　e　the　morrow；　I　will　find　whoever　planned　this　little　diversion　and　arrange　for　a　different　sort　of　thanks。
　When　the　dwarfs　reined　up　beneath　the　dais　to　salute　the　king；　the　wolf　knight　dropped　his　shield。　As　he　leaned　over　to　grab　for　it；　the　stag　knight　lost　control　of　his　heavy　lance　and　slammed　him　across　the　back。　The　wolf　knight　fell　off　his　pig；　and　his　lance　tumbled　over　and　boinked　his　foe　on　the　head。　They　both　wound　up　on　the　floor　in　a　great　tangle。　When　they　rose；　both　tried　to　mount　the　dog。　Much　shouting　and　shoving　followed。　Finally　they　regained　their　saddles；　only　mounted　on　each　other's　steed；　holding　the　wrong　shield　and　facing　backward。
　It　took　some　time　to　sort　that　out；　but　in　the　end　they　spurred　to　opposite　ends　of　the　hall；　and　wheeled　about　for　the　tilt。　As　the　lords　and　ladies　guffawed　and　giggled；　the　little　men　came　together　with　a　crash　and　a　clatter；　and　the　wolf　knight's　lance　struck　the　helm　of　the　stag　knight　and　knocked　his　head　clean　off。　It　spun　through　the　air　spattering　blood　to　land　in　the　lap　of　Lord　Gyles。　The　headless　dwarf　careened　around　the　tables；　flailing　his　arms。　Dogs　barked；　women　shrieked；　and　Moon　Boy　made　a　great　show　of　swaying　perilously　back　and　forth　on　his　stilts；　until　Lord　Gyles　pulled　a　dripping　red　melon　out　of　the　shattered　helm；　at　which　point　the　stag　knight　poked　his　face　up　out　of　his　armor；　and　another　storm　of　laughter　rocked　the　hall。　The　knights　waited　for　it　to　die；　circled　around　each　other　trading　colorful　insults；　and　were　about　to　separate　for　another　joust　when　the　dog　threw　its　rider　to　the　floor　and　mounted　the　sow。　The　huge　pig　squealed　in　distress；　while　the　wedding　guests　squealed　with　laughter；　especially　when　the　stag　knight　leapt　onto　the　wolf　knight；　let　down　his　wooden　breeches；　and　started　to　pump　away　frantically　at　the　other's　nether　portions。
　〃I　yield；　I　yield；〃　the　dwarf　on　the　bottom　screamed。　〃Good　ser；　put　up　your　sword！〃
　〃I　would；　I　would；　if　you'll　stop　moving　the　sheath！〃　the　dwarf　on　the　top　replied；　to　the　merriment　of　all。
　Joffrey　was　snorting　wine　from　both　nostrils。　Gasping；　he　lurched　to　his　feet；　almost　knocking　over　his　tall　two…handed　chalice。　〃A　champion；〃　he　shouted。　〃We　have　a　champion！〃　The　hall　began　to　quiet　when　it　was　seen　that　the　king　was　speaking。　The　dwarfs　untangled；　no　doubt　anticipating　the　royal　thanks。　〃Not　a　true　champion；　though；〃　said　Joff。　〃A　true　champion　defeats　all　challengers。〃　The　king　climbed　up　on　the　table。　〃Who　else　will　challenge　our　tiny　champion？〃　With　a　gleeful　smile；　he　turned　toward　Tyrion。　〃Uncle！　You'll　defend　the　honor　of　my　realm；　won't　you？　You　can　ride　the　pig！〃
　The　laughter　crashed　over　him　like　a　wave。　Tyrion　Lannister　did　not　remember　rising；　nor　climbing　on　his　chair；　but　he　found　himself　standing　on　the　table。　The　hall　was　a　torchlit　blur　of　leering　faces。　He　twisted　his　face　into　the　most　hideous　mockery　of　a　smile　the　Seven　Kingdoms　had　ever　seen。　〃Your　Grace；〃　he　called；　〃I'll　ride　the　pig　。　。　。　but　only　if　you　ride　the　dog！〃
　Joff　scowled；　confused。　〃Me？　I'm　no　dwarf。　Why　me？〃