annr.pandora-第7章
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My Father was rich； one of the true millionaires of that age； and his capital was invested widely。 He was a soldier more often than required of him； a Senator； a thoughtful and quiet man by disposition。 And after the terrors of the Civil War； he was a great supporter of Caesar Augustus and very much in the Emperor's good graces。
Of course he dreamed that the Roman Republic would e back； we all did。 But Augustus had brought unity and peace to the Empire。
I met Augustus many times in my youth； and it was always at some crowded social function and of no consequence。 He looked like his portraits； a lean man with a long thin nose； short hair； average face； he was rather rational and pragmatic by nature and not invested with any abnormal cruelty。 He had no personal vanity。
The poor man was really blessed that he couldn't see into the future … that he had no inkling of all the horrors and madness that would begin with Tiberius； his successor； and go on for so long under other members of his family。
Only in later times did I understand the full singularity and acplishment of Augustus's long reign。 Was it forty…four years of peace throughout the cities of the Empire？
Alas； to be born during this time was to be born during a time of creativity and prosperity； when Rome was caput mundi； or capital of the world。 And when I look back on it； I realize what a powerful bination it was to have both tradition and vast sums of money； to have old values and new power。
Our family life was conservative； strict； even a little dusty。 And yet we had every luxury。 My Father grew more quiet and conservative over the years。 He enjoyed his grandchildren； who were born while he was still vigorous and active。
Though he had fought principally in the Northern campaigns along the Rhine； he had been stationed in Syria for a while。 He had studied in Athens。 He had served so much and so well that he was being allowed an early retirement in the years during which I grew up； an early withdrawal from the social life that whirled around the Imperial Palace； though I did not realize this at the time。
My five brothers came before me。 So there was no 〃ritual Roman mourning〃 when I was born； as you hear tell of in Roman families when a girl es into the world。 Far from it。
Five times my Father had stood in the atrium … the main enclosed courtyard； or peristyle； of our house with its pillars and stairs and grand marble…work … five times he had stood there before the assembled family and held in his hands a newborn son； inspected it and then pronounced it perfect and fit to be reared as his own； as was his prerogative。 Now； you know he had the power of life and death over his sons from that moment on。
If my Father hadn't wanted these boys for any reason； he would have 〃exposed〃 them to die of starvation。 It was against the law to steal such a child and make it a slave。
Having five boys already； my Father was expected by some to get rid of me immediately。 Who needs a girl？ But my Father never exposed or rejected any of my Mother's children。
And by the time I arrived； I'm told； he cried for joy。
〃Thank the gods！ A little darling。〃； I heard the story ad nauseam from my brothers； who； every time I acted up … did something unseemly； frisky and wild … said sneeringly； 〃Thank the gods； a little darling！〃 It became a charming goad。
My Mother died when I was two； and all I recall of her are gentleness and sweetness。 She'd lost as many children as she had birthed； and early death was typical enough。 Her Epitaph was beautifully written by my Father； and her memory honored throughout my life。 My Father never took another woman into the house。 He slept with a few of the female slaves； but this was nothing unusual。 My brothers did the same thing。 This was mon in a Roman household。 My Father brought no new woman from another family to rule over me。
There is no grief in me for my Mother because I was simply too young for it； and if I cried when my Mother did not e back； I don't remember it。
What I remember is having the run of a big old rectangular palatial Roman house； with many rectangular rooms built onto the main rectangle； one off another； the whole nestled in a huge garden high on the Palatine Hill。 It was a house of marble floors and richly painted walls； the garden meandering and surrounding every room of it。
I was the true jewel of my Father's eye； and I remember having a marvelous time watching my brothers practice outside with their short broadswords； or listening as their tutors instructed them； and then having fine teachers of my own who taught me how to read the entire Aeneid of Virgil before I was five years old。
I loved words。 I love to sing them and speak them and even now； I must admit； I have fallen into the joy of writing them。 I couldn't have told you that nights ago； David。 You've brought back something to me and I must make the admission。 And I must not write too fast in this mortal cafe； lest human beings notice！
Ah； so we continue。
My Father thought it was hysterical that I could recite verses from Virgil at so young an age and he liked nothing better than to show me off at banquets at which he entertained his conservative and somewhat old…fashioned Senatorial friends； and sometimes Caesar Augustus himself。 Caesar Augustus was an agreeable man。 I don't think my Father ever really wanted him at our house； however。 But now and then； I suppose； the Emperor had to be wined and dined。
I'd rush in with my nurse； give a rousing recital and then be whisked away to where I could not see the proud Senators of Rome glutting themselves on peacock brains and garum … surely you know what garum is。 It's the horrible sauce the Romans put on everything； rather like today's ketchup。 Definitely it defeated the purpose of having eels and squids on your plate； or ostrich brains or unborn lamb or whatever other absurd delicacies were being brought by the platterful。
The point is； as you know； the Romans seemed to have a special place in their hearts for genuine gluttony； and the banquets inevitably became a disgrace。 The guests would go off to the vomitorium of the house to heave up the first five courses of the meal so that they could then swallow the others。 And I would lie upstairs； giggling in my bed； listening to all this laughter and vomiting。 Then the rape of the entire catering staff of slaves would follow； whether they were boys or girls or a mixture of both。
Family meals were an entirely different affair。 Then we were old Romans。 Everyone sat at the table； my Father was undisputed Master of his house； and would tolerate no criticism of Caesar Augustus； who； as you know； was Julius Caesar's nephew； and did not really rule as Emperor by law。
〃When the time is right； he will step down；〃 said my Father。 〃He knows he can't do it now。 He is more weary and wise than ever he was ambitious。 Who wants another Civil War？〃
The times were actually too prosperous for men of stature to make a revolt。
Augustus kept the peace。 He had profound respect for the Roman Senate。 He rebuilt old Temples because he thought people needed the piety they had known under the Republic。
He gave free corn from Egypt to the poor。 Nobody starved in Rome。 He maintained a dizzying amount of old festivals； games and spectacles … enough to sicken one actually。 But often as patriotic Romans we had to be there。
Of course there was great cruelty in the arena。 There were cruel executions。 There was the ever present cruelty of slavery。
But what is not understood by those today is that there coexisted with all this a sense of individual freedom on the part of even the poorest man。
The courts took time over their decisions。 They consulted the past laws。 They followed logic and code。 People could speak their minds fairly openly。
I note this because it is key to this story： that Marius and I both were born in a time when Roman law was； as Marius would say； based on reason； as opposed to divine revelation。
We are totally unlike those blood drinkers brought to Darkness in lands of Magic and Mystery。
Not only did we trust Augustus when we were alive； we also believed in the tangible power of the Roman Senate。 We believed in public virtu
