rr.thebrentfordtriangle-第12章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


ation；　tore　off　his　pullover　and；　having　dragged　the　moaning　beastie　momentarily　to　ground　level；　stuffed　the　patchworked　woolly　over　its　head。　A　blessed　silence　descended　upon　the　lockup；　and　Norman　breathed　a　twin　sigh　of　relief。　Perhaps；　he　mused；　with　its　obviously　unstable　molecular　structure　the　camel　might　simply　deteriorate　to　such　a　point　that　a　slight　draught　would　waft　it　away　into　nothingness。
　This　seemed　a　little　cruel；　as　the　camel　was　something　of　an　unwilling　victim　of　circumstance；　and　Norman　was　not　by　nature　a　cruel　or　callous　man。　But　considering　the　eventual　good　which　his　great　quest　would　bring　to　the　people　of　Brentford；　the　shopkeeper　considered　the　sacrifice　to　be　a　small　and　necessary　one。
　It　will　thank　me　for　it　in　the　end；　he　told　himself。　To　die　in　so　noble　a　cause。　I　shall　see　to　it　that　a　memorial　is　built；　the　tomb　of　the　unknown　camel。　We　might　even　organize　some　kind　of　yearly　festival　in　its　honour。　Camel　Day；　perhaps？　Hold　it　on　Plough　Monday；　incorporate　a　few　morris　dancers　in　Egyptian　garb　and　a　maypole　or　two；　make　a　day　of　it。　Yes；　the　camel　had　played　its　part　and　it　would　not　go　unrewarded。
　Anyway；　thought　Norman；　if　it　doesn't　simply　evaporate　I　can　always　speed　the　process　up　with　a　decent…sized　weedkiller　bomb。
　
　9
　Pooley　and　Omally　sat　at　a　secluded　corner…table　in　the　Flying　Swan。
　'I　can't　understand　the　Professor；'　said　Jim。　'Didn't　seem　to　be　himself　at　all。'
　Omally　shook　his　head；　'I　don't　know；'　he　replied。　'Appeared　to　me　a　clear　case　of　keep…the…golfers…guessing。　I　suspect　that　he　knows　a　good　deal　more　than　he　was　letting　on　to。'
　'Not　much　ever　gets　by　him。　He　certainly　made　short　work　of　the　cabbage　leaf。'
　Omally　leant　back　in　his　seat　and　cast　his　arms　wide。　'But　where　are　we？'　he　asked。　'Nowhere　at　all！　We　have　council　men　doing　the　impossible　at　their　every　opportunity；　we　have　runic　ideograms　appearing　magically　upon　the　ground　and　camels　working　their　way　through　the　season's　produce。　I　don't　like　any　of　it；　it　smacks　to　me　of　some　great　conspiracy　to　confound　honest　golfers　and　put　them　off　their　game。'
　'I　suspect　that　it　goes　a　little　deeper　than　that；'　said　Jim；　'but　I　agree　that　it　does　nothing　to　enhance　the　play。　Perhaps　we　should　quit　the　allotment　now。　Move　on　to　pastures　new。　There　are　several　large　bombsites　down　near　the　docks　surrounded　by　high　walls。　I　know　of　a　secret　entrance　or　two。'
　'Never；'　said　Omally　boldly。　'I　have　had　enough　of　running。　If　we　do　not　make　our　stand　now；　the　bastards　will　eventually　drive　us　into　the　sea　and　I　care　little　for　the　prospect　of　underwater　golf。'
　'Cork　balls；'　said　Pooley。
　'I　beg　your　pardon？'
　Bitow　Bitow　Bitow　Bitow　Bitow　Whap。。。　'What？'　Nicholas　Roger　Raffles　Rathbone　turned　a　full　circle　upon　his　heel　and　drove　his　reddening　fists　down　on　to　the　console　of　the　Captain　Laser　Alien　Attack　Machine。　'You　bastard！'　he　said　earnestly。　'You　bloody　sneaked　an　extra　saucer　in　there。'　He　turned　towards　the　bar　where　Neville　stood；　his　ears　protected　by　cotton…wool　balls　and　his　hands　feverishly　at　work　with　the　polishing　cloth。　'Have　you　altered　this　machine？'　he　cried。
　'Get　stuffed；'　said　Neville。
　'I　know　the　sequences；'　Nick　continued　unabashed；　'thirty　shots；　then　a　big　saucer；　thirty…eight；　then　a　mother　ship。　Somebody　has　tampered　with　this　machine。'
　Neville　laid　down　his　polishing　cloth；　plucked　the　ineffective　cotton　plugs　from　his　ears　and　glowered　across　the　bar。　'No…one　has　touched　it；'　he　said；　his　words　forming　between　two　rows　of　teeth　which　were　showing　some　signs　of　wear。　'No…one　has　touched；　tampered　or　tinkered　with　it。　No　official　brewery　representative　has　ever　called　to　service　it。　No　engineers　came　to　polish　its　paintwork；　change　its　bulbs　or　fondle　its　inner　workings；　nor　even　to　empty　it　of　the　king's　ransom　it　must　by　now　contain。　It　seemingly　never　breaks　down；　nor　needs　any　maintenance；　it　runs　from　its　own　power　supply　and　is　a　law　unto　itself。　If　you　have　any　plaints　I　suggest　that　you　address　them　directly　to　the　machine。　With　any　luck　it　will　take　exception　to　your　manner　and　electrocute　you！'
　'Someone's　been　tampering；'　said　Nick；　delving　into　his　pockets　for　more　two…bob　bits；　'I　know　the　sequences。'
　The　part…time　barman　turned　away　in　disgust。　'Jim；'　he　said；　beckoning　across　the　counter　towards　Pooley；　'might　I　have　a　word　or　two　in　your　ear？'
　Pooley　hastened　from　his　chair；　favouring　the　possibility　of　a　free　drink。　'Your　servant；　bar　lord；'　said　he。
　'Jim；'　said　Neville；　gesturing　towards　the　hunched　back　of　the　green…haired　youth；　'Jim；　has　Omally　e　up　with　anything　yet　regarding　this　abomination？　I　am　at　my　wits'　end。　My　letter　of　resignation　is　folded　into　the　envelope　and　the　stamp　is　on。'
　Jim　chewed　upon　his　lip。　It　was　obvious　that　Neville　was　speaking　with　great　sincerity。　It　would　be　a　tragedy　indeed　if　Brentford　lost　the　best　part…time　barman　it　ever　had。　Especially　over　so　trivial　a　thing　as　a　gambling　machine。
　'In　truth；'　lied　Jim　with　great　conviction；　'Omally　and　I　have　spent　the　entirety　of　the　afternoon　discussing　this　very　matter。　We　were　doing　so　even　when　you　called　me　across。　We　are；　I　think；　nearing　a　solution。'
　'Ah；'　said　Neville；　brightening；　'it　is　good　to　know　that　there　are　still　friends　in　the　camp。　Have　this　one　on　the　house。'
　Pooley　sank　it　at　a　single　draught　and　strolled　back　to　his　seated　panion。
　'I　saw　that；'　said　Omally。　'What　have　you　just　talked　me　into？'
　'Nothing　much；'　said　Jim　nonchalantly。　'It　is　just　that　Neville　would　prefer　it　if　you　would　break　the　space　machine　now　rather　than　later。'
　Omally　controlled　himself　quite　remarkably。　'But　I　was　of　the　impression　that　the　thing　is　indestructable。　Do　you　not　feel　that　this　small　point　might　put　me　at　a　slight　disadvantage？'
　Pooley　nudged　his　panion　jovially　in　the　rib　area。　'e　now；'　he　said；　'this　should　provide　a　little　light　relief。　Take　your　mind　off　your　worries。　What　is　it　that　you　lads　from　the　old　country　say？　Do　it　for　the　crack；　that's　it；　isn't　it。　The　crack；　eh？'
　'The　crack？'　Omally　shook　his　head　in　wonder。　As　if　things　weren't　bad　enough。　He　scratched　at　the　stubble　of　his　chin；　which　through　the　day　had　grown　into　what　the　Navy　refer　to　as　a　full　set；　and　cast　a　thoughtful　eye　towards　the　video　machine。　'I　have　an　idea；'　he　said；　rising　from　his　seat。　'Perhaps　a　success　here　might　turn　the　tide　of　our　fortunes。　Give　me　a　florin。'　Pooley　began　to　pat　his　pockets。　'Give　me　the　florin；'　Omally　reiterated。　Pooley　paid　up。
　'Now；　e　Jim；'　said　the　Irishman；　'and　we　will　test　the　substance　of　this　rogue　apparatus。'
　Neville　the　part…time　barman　watched　the　silver　coin　change　hands　and　offered　up　a　silent　prayer　to　the　dark　and　pagan　deity　of　his　personal　preference。
　Nicholas　Roger　Raffles　Rathbone　had　a　pile　of　not　dissimilar　coins　of　the　realm　stacked　upon　the　chromium　roof　of　the　games　machine。　He　was　set　in　for　the　night。
　'Stand　aside；　laddy；'　said　Omally　in　an　authoritative　tone。　'My　friend　here　wishes　to　match　wits　with　these　extra…terrestrial　laddos。'
　'No　way；'　said　Nick；　turning　not　a　verdant　hair；　Tm　halfway　through　a　game　here。'
　Omally　leant　down　towards　the　youth　and　spoke　a　few　words　into　a　pointed；　tattooed　ear。　The　scourge　of　the　cosmic　mandos　stepped　aside。　'Be　my　guest；'　he　said　politely。　'I　will　explain　how　it　works。'
　'That　will　not　be　necessary；　thank　you；　off　you　go　then；　Jim。'
　Pooley　shook　his　head　vigorously。　'Not　me；'　he　said；　'these　things　give　out　dangerous　X…rays。　I'm　not　having　my　hair　fall　out　and　my　fingernails　drop　off。　No　thank　you。'
　Omally　patted　his　panion　on　the　shoulder。　'Jim；'　said　he；　'who　was　it　who　set　fire　to　my　pop…up　toaster？'
　Pooley　could　not　see　the　connection；　but　he　nodded　guiltily。　'It　was　me；'　he　said。
　'And　who　overwound　my　alarm　clock？'
　'Also　me。'
　'And　who　fiddled　with　the　tuner　on　the　wireless　set　which　had　given　me　good　and　trouble…free　listening　for　twenty　years？'
　Pooley　looked　away。　'Also　me；'　he　said　in　a　whisper。
　'And　who　borrowed　my　electric　razor　and。。。　'
　'I　didn't　know　you　weren't　supposed　to　use　soap　when　shaving　electric；'　Pooley　plained。
　'Who　was　it？'
　'Also　me。'
　'Then　you　will　understand　my　reasoning　th