蓝色特快上的秘密-蓝色列车之谜-蓝色列车(英文版)-第13章

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　he　was　startled。　It　was　almost　a　cry　of　despair。　She　had　made　an　impulsive　movement　towards　him；　but　in　another　minute　she　was　mistress　of　herself　once　more。　

〃Till　next　month；〃　she　said　cheerfully。　

Two　minutes　later　the　train　started。　Ruth　sat　very　still；　biting　her　under　lip　and　trying　hard　to　keep　the　unaccustomed　tears　from　her　eyes。　She　felt　a　sudden　sense　of　horrible　desolation。　There　was　a　wild　longing　upon　her　to　jump　out　of　the　train　and　to　go　back　before　it　was　too　late。　She；　so　calm；　so　self…assured；　for　the　first　time　in　her　life　felt　like　a　leaf　swept　by　the　wind。　If　her　father　knew　…　what　would　he　say？　

Madness！　Yes；　just　that；　madness！　For　the　first　time　in　her　life　she　was　swept　away　by　emotion；　swept　away　to　the　point　of　doing　a　thing　which　even　she　knew　to　be　incredibly　foolish　and　reckless。　She　was　enough　Van　Aldin's　daughter　to　realize　her　own　folly；　and　level…headed　enough　to　condemn　her　own　action。　But　she　was　his　daughter　in　another　sense　also。　She　had　that　same　iron　determination　that　would　have　what　it　wanted　and　once　it　had　made　up　its　mind　would　not　be　balked。　From　her　cradle　she　had　been　self…willed；　the　very　circumstances　of　her　life　had　developed　that　self…will　in　her。　It　drove　her　now　remorselessly。　Well；　the　die　was　cast。　She　must　go　through　with　it　now。　

She　looked　up；　and　her　eyes　met　those　of　the　woman　sitting　opposite。　She　had　a　sudden　fancy　that　in　some　way　this　other　woman　had　read　her　mind。　She　saw　in　those　grey　eyes　understanding　and　…　yes　…　passion。　

It　was　only　a　fleeting　impression。　The　faces　of　both　women　hardened　to　well…bred　impassiveness。　Mrs　Kettering　took　up　a　magazine；　and　Katherine　Grey　looked　out　of　the　window　and　watched　a　seemingly　endless　vista　of　depressing　streets　and　suburban　houses。　

Ruth　found　an　increasing　difficulty　in　fixing　her　mind　on　the　printed　page　in　front　of　her。　In　spite　of　herself；　a　thousand　apprehensions　preyed　on　her　mind。　What　a　fool　she　had　been！　What　a　fool　she　was！　Like　all　cool　and　self…sufficient　people；　when　she　did　lose　her　self…control　she　lost　it　thoroughly　…　it　was　too　late。。。　Was　it　too　late？　Oh；　for　someone　to　speak　to；　for　someone　to　advise　her。　She　had　never　before　had　such　a　wish；　she　would　have　scorned　the　idea　of　relying　on　any　judgment　other　than　her　own；　but　now　…　what　was　the　matter　with　her？　Panic。　Yes；　that　would　describe　it　best　…　panic。　She；　Ruth　Kettering；　was　pletely　and　utterly　panic　stricken。　

She　stole　a　covert　glance　at　the　figure　opposite。　

If　only　she　knew　someone　like　that；　some　nice；　cool；　calm；　sympathetic　creature。　

That　was　the　sort　of　person　one　could　talk　to。　But　you　can't；　of　course；　confide　in　a　stranger。　And　Ruth　smiled　to　herself　a　little　at　the　idea。　She　picked　up　the　magazine　again。　Really　she　must　control　herself。　After　all；　she　had　thought　all　this　out。　She　had　decided　of　her　own　free　will。　What　happiness　had　she　ever　had　in　her　life　up　to　now？　She　said　to　herself　restlessly：　〃Why　shouldn't　I　be　happy？　No　one　will　ever　know。〃　

It　seemed　no　time　before　Dover　was　reached。　Ruth　was　a　good　sailor。　She　disliked　the　cold；　and　was　glad　to　reach　the　shelter　of　the　private　cabin　she　had　telegraphed　for。　Although　she　would　not　have　admitted　the　fact；　Ruth　was　in　some　ways　superstitious。　She　was　of　the　order　of　people　to　whom　coincidence　appeals。　After　disembarking　at　Calais　and　settling　herself　down　with　her　maid　in　her　double　partment　in　the　Blue　Train；　she　went　along　to　the　luncheon　car。　

It　was　with　a　little　shock　of　surprise　that　she　found　herself　set　down　to　a　small　table　with；　opposite　her；　the　same　woman　who　had　been　her　vis…а…vis　in　the　Pullman。　A　faint　smile　came　to　the　lips　of　both　women。　

〃This　is　quite　a　coincidence；〃　said　Mrs　Kettering。　

〃I　know；〃　said　Katherine；　〃it　is　odd　the　way　things　happen。〃　

A　flying　attendant　shot　up　to　them　with　the　wonderful　velocity　always　displayed　by　the　pagnie　Internationale　des　Wagons…Lits　and　deposited　two　cups　of　soup。　By　the　time　the　omelette　succeeded　the　soup　they　were　chatting　together　in　friendly　fashion。　

〃It　will　be　heavenly　to　get　into　the　sunshine；〃　sighed　Ruth。　

〃I　am　sure　it　will　be　a　wonderful　feeling。〃　

〃You　know　the　Riviera　well？〃　

〃No；　this　is　my　first　visit。〃　

〃Fancy　that。〃　

〃You　go　every　year；　I　expect？〃　

〃Practically。　January　and　February　in　London　are　horrible。〃　

〃I　have　always　lived　in　the　country。　They　are　not　very　inspiring　months　there　either。　Mostly　mud。〃　

〃What　made　you　suddenly　decide　to　travel？〃　

〃Money；〃　said　Katherine。　〃For　ten　years　I　have　been　a　paid　panion　with　just　enough　money　of　my　own　to　buy　myself　strong　country　shoes；　now　I　have　been　left　what　seems　to　me　a　fortune；　though　I　dare　say　it　would　not　seem　so　to　you。〃　

〃Now　I　wonder　why　you　say　that　…　that　it　would　not　seem　so　to　me。〃　

Katherine　laughed。　〃I　don't　really　know。　I　suppose　one　forms　impressions　without　thinking　of　it。　I　put　you　down　in　my　own　mind　as　one　of　the　very　rich　of　the　earth。　It　was　just　an　impression。　I　dare　say　I　am　wrong。〃　

〃No；〃　said　Ruth；　〃you　are　not　wrong。〃　

She　had　suddenly　bee　very　grave。　〃I　wish　you　would　tell　me　what　other　impressions　you　formed　about　me？〃　

〃I　…〃　

Ruth　swept　on　disregarding　the　other's　embarrassment。　

〃Oh；　please；　don't　be　conventional。　I　want　to　know。　As　we　left　Victoria　I　looked　across　at　you；　and　I　had　the　sort　of　feeling　that　you　…　well；　understood　what　was　going　on　in　my　mind。〃　

〃I　can　assure　you　I　am　not　a　mind　reader；〃　said　Katherine；　smiling。　

〃No；　but　will　you　tell　me；　please；　just　what　you　thought。〃　Ruth's　eagerness　was　so　intense　and　so　sincere　that　she　carried　her　point。　

〃I　will　tell　you　if　you　like；　but　you　must　not　think　me　impertinent。　I　thought　that　for　some　reason　you　were　in　great　distress　of　mind；　and　I　was　sorry　for　you。〃　

〃You　are　right。　You　are　quite　right。　I　am　in　terrible　trouble。　I　…　I　should　like　to　tell　you　something　about　it；　if　I　may。〃　

〃Oh；　dear；〃　Katherine　thought　to　herself；　〃how　extraordinarily　alike　the　world　seems　to　be　everywhere！　People　were　always　telling　me　things　in　St　Mary　Mead；　and　it　is　just　the　same　thing　here；　and　I　don't　really　want　to　hear　anybody's　troubles！〃　

She　replied　politely：　

〃Do　tell　me。〃　

They　were　just　finishing　their　lunch。　Ruth　gulped　down　her　coffee；　rose　from　her　seat；　and　quite　oblivious　of　the　fact　that　Katherine　had　not　begun　to　sip　her　coffee；　said：　〃e　to　my　partment　with　me。〃　

They　were　two　single　partments　with　a　municating　door　between　them。　In　the　second　of　them　a　thin　maid；　whom　Katherine　had　noticed　at　Victoria；　was　sitting　very　upright　on　the　seat；　clutching　a　big　scarlet　morocco　case　with　the　initials　R。V。K。　on　it。　Mrs　Kettering　pulled　the　municating　door　to　and　sank　down　on　the　seat。　Katherine　sat　down　beside　her。　

〃I　am　in　trouble　and　I　don't　know　what　to　do。　There　is　a　man　whom　I　am　fond　of　…　very　fond　of　indeed。　We　cared　for　each　other　when　we　were　young；　and　we　were　thrust　apart　most　brutally　and　unjustly。　Now　we　have　e　together　again。〃　

〃Yes？〃　

〃I　…　I　am　going　to　meet　him　now。　Oh！　I　dare　say　you　think　it　is　all　wrong；　but　you　don't　know　the　circumstances。　My　husband　is　impossible。　He　has　treated　me　disgracefully。〃　

〃Yes；〃　said　Katherine　again。　

〃What　I　feel　so　badly　about　is　this。　I　have　deceived　my　father　…　it　was　he　who　came　to　see　me　off　at　Victoria　today。　He　wishes　me　to　divorce　my　husband；　and；　of　course；　he　has　no　idea　…　that　I　am　going　to　meet　this　other　man。　He　would　think　it　extraordinarily　foolish。〃　

〃Well；　don't　you　think　it　is？〃　

〃I　suppose　it　is。〃　

Ruth　Kettering　looked　down　at　her　hands；　they　were　shaking　violently。　

〃But　I　can't　draw　back　now。〃　

〃Why　not？〃　

〃I　…　it　is　all　arranged；　and　it　would　break　his　heart。〃　

〃Don't　you　believe　it；〃　said　Katherine　robustly；　〃hearts　are　pretty　tough。〃　

〃He　will　think　I　have　no　courage；　no　strength　of　purpose。〃　

〃It　seems　to　me　an　awfully　silly　thing　that　you　are　going　to　do；〃　said　Katherine。　〃I　think　you　realize　that　yourself。〃　

Ruth　Kettering　buried　her　face　in　her　hands。　〃I　don't　know　…　I　don't　know。　Ever　since　I　left　Victoria　I　have　had　a　horrible　feeling　of　something　…　something　that　is　ing　to　me　very　soon　…　that　I　can't　escape。〃　

She　clutched