volume01-第13章

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lovely　Woman　had　for　his　sake　abandoned　the　world；　and　sacrificed　every　other　passion　to　that　which　He　had　inspired：　　Still　less　did　He　perceive　that　his　heart　throbbed　with　desire；　while　his　hand　was　pressed　gently　by　Matilda's　ivory　fingers。

By　degrees　He　recovered　from　his　confusion。　　His　ideas　became　less　bewildered：　　He　was　immediately　sensible　of　the　extreme　impropriety；　should　Matilda　be　permitted　to　remain　in　the　Abbey　after　this　avowal　of　her　sex。　　He　assumed　an　air　of　severity；　and　drew　away　his　hand。

'How；　Lady！'　said　He；　'Can　you　really　hope　for　my　permission　to　remain　amongst　us？　　Even　were　I　to　grant　your　request；　what　good　could　you　derive　from　it？　　Think　you　that　I　ever　can　reply　to　an　affection；　which　。　。　。'。

'No；　Father；　No！　　I　expect　not　to　inspire　you　with　a　love　like　mine。　　I　only　wish　for　the　liberty　to　be　near　you；　to　pass　some　hours　of　the　day　in　your　society；　to　obtain　your　compassion；　your　friendship　and　esteem。　　Surely　my　request　is　not　unreasonable。'

'But　reflect；　Lady！　　Reflect　only　for　a　moment　on　the　impropriety　of　my　harbouring　a　Woman　in　the　Abbey；　and　that　too　a　Woman；　who　confesses　that　She　loves　me。　　It　must　not　be。　　The　risque　of　your　being　discovered　is　too　great；　and　I　will　not　expose　myself　to　so　dangerous　a　temptation。'

'Temptation；　say　you？　　Forget　that　I　am　a　Woman；　and　it　no　longer　exists：　　Consider　me　only　as　a　Friend；　as　an　Unfortunate；　whose　happiness；　whose　life　depends　upon　your　protection。　　Fear　not　lest　I　should　ever　call　to　your　remembrance　that　love　the　most　impetuous；　the　most　unbounded；　has　induced　me　to　disguise　my　sex；　or　that　instigated　by　desires；　offensive　to　YOUR　vows　and　my　own　honour；　I　should　endeavour　to　seduce　you　from　the　path　of　rectitude。　　No；　Ambrosio；　learn　to　know　me　better。　　I　love　you　for　your　virtues：　　Lose　them；　and　with　them　you　lose　my　affections。　　I　look　upon　you　as　a　Saint；　Prove　to　me　that　you　are　no　more　than　Man；　and　I　quit　you　with　disgust。　　Is　it　then　from　me　that　you　fear　temptation？　　From　me；　in　whom　the　world's　dazzling　pleasures　created　no　other　sentiment　than　contempt？　　From　me；　whose　attachment　is　grounded　on　your　exemption　from　human　frailty？　　Oh！　dismiss　such　injurious　apprehensions！　　Think　nobler　of　me；　think　nobler　of　yourself。　　I　am　incapable　of　seducing　you　to　error；　and　surely　your　Virtue　is　established　on　a　basis　too　firm　to　be　shaken　by　unwarranted　desires。　　Ambrosio；　dearest　Ambrosio！　drive　me　not　from　your　presence；　Remember　your　promise；　and　authorize　my　stay！'

'Impossible；　Matilda；　YOUR　interest　commands　me　to　refuse　your　prayer；　since　I　tremble　for　you；　not　for　myself。　　After　vanquishing　the　impetuous　ebullitions　of　Youth；　After　passing　thirty　years　in　mortification　and　penance；　I　might　safely　permit　your　stay；　nor　fear　your　inspiring　me　with　warmer　sentiments　than　pity。　　But　to　yourself；　remaining　in　the　Abbey　can　produce　none　but　fatal　consequences。　　You　will　misconstrue　my　every　word　and　action；　You　will　seize　every　circumstance　with　avidity；　which　encourages　you　to　hope　the　return　of　your　affection；　Insensibly　your　passions　will　gain　a　superiority　over　your　reason；　and　far　from　these　being　repressed　by　my　presence；　every　moment　which　we　pass　together；　will　only　serve　to　irritate　and　excite　them。　　Believe　me；　unhappy　Woman！　you　possess　my　sincere　compassion。　　I　am　convinced　that　you　have　hitherto　acted　upon　the　purest　motives；　But　though　you　are　blind　to　the　imprudence　of　your　conduct；　in　me　it　would　be　culpable　not　to　open　your　eyes。　　I　feel　that　Duty　obliges　my　treating　you　with　harshness：　　I　must　reject　your　prayer；　and　remove　every　shadow　of　hope　which　may　aid　to　nourish　sentiments　so　pernicious　to　your　repose。　　Matilda；　you　must　from　hence　tomorrow。'

'Tomorrow；　Ambrosio？　　Tomorrow？　　Oh！　surely　you　cannot　mean　it！

You　cannot　resolve　on　driving　me　to　despair！　　You　cannot　have　the　cruelty。　。　。　。'

'You　have　heard　my　decision；　and　it　must　be　obeyed。　The　Laws　of　our　Order　forbid　your　stay：　　It　would　be　perjury　to　conceal　that　a　Woman　is　within　these　Walls；　and　my　vows　will　oblige　me　to　declare　your　story　to　the　Community。　　You　must　from　hence！I　pity　you；　but　can　do　no　more！'

He　pronounced　these　words　in　a　faint　and　trembling　voice：　　Then　rising　from　his　seat；　He　would　have　hastened　towards　the　Monastery。　　Uttering　a　loud　shriek；　Matilda　followed；　and　detained　him。

'Stay　yet　one　moment；　Ambrosio！　　Hear　me　yet　speak　one　word！'

'I　dare　not　listen！　　Release　me！　　You　know　my　resolution！'

'But　one　word！　　But　one　last　word；　and　I　have　done！'

'Leave　me！　　Your　entreaties　are　in　vain！　　You　must　from　hence　tomorrow！'

'Go　then；　Barbarian！　　But　this　resource　is　still　left　me。'

As　She　said　this；　She　suddenly　drew　a　poignard：　　She　rent　open　her　garment；　and　placed　the　weapon's　point　against　her　bosom。

'Father；　I　will　never　quit　these　Walls　alive！'

'Hold！　　Hold；　Matilda！　　What　would　you　do？'

'You　are　determined；　so　am　I：　　The　Moment　that　you　leave　me；　I　plunge　this　Steel　in　my　heart。'

'Holy　St。　Francis！　　Matilda；　have　you　your　senses？　　Do　you　know　the　consequences　of　your　action？　　That　Suicide　is　the　greatest　of　crimes？　　That　you　destroy　your　Soul？　　That　you　lose　your　claim　to　salvation？　　That　you　prepare　for　yourself　everlasting　torments？'

'I　care　not！　I　care　not！'　She　replied　passionately；　'Either　your　hand　guides　me　to　Paradise；　or　my　own　dooms　me　to　perdition！　　Speak　to　me；　Ambrosio！　　Tell　me　that　you　will　conceal　my　story；　that　I　shall　remain　your　Friend　and　your　Companion；　or　this　poignard　drinks　my　blood！'

As　She　uttered　these　last　words；　She　lifted　her　arm；　and　made　a　motion　as　if　to　stab　herself。　　The　Friar's　eyes　followed　with　dread　the　course　of　the　dagger。　　She　had　torn　open　her　habit；　and　her　bosom　was　half　exposed。　The　weapon's　point　rested　upon　her　left　breast：　　And　Oh！　that　was　such　a　breast！　　The　Moonbeams　darting　full　upon　it　enabled　the　Monk　to　observe　its　dazzling　whiteness。　　His　eye　dwelt　with　insatiable　avidity　upon　the　beauteous　Orb。　　A　sensation　till　then　unknown　filled　his　heart　with　a　mixture　of　anxiety　and　delight：　　A　raging　fire　shot　through　every　limb；　The　blood　boiled　in　his　veins；　and　a　thousand　wild　wishes　bewildered　his　imagination。

'Hold！'　He　cried　in　an　hurried　faultering　voice；　'I　can　resist　no　longer！　　Stay；　then；　Enchantress；　Stay　for　my　destruction！'

He　said；　and　rushing　from　the　place；　hastened　towards　the　Monastery：　　He　regained　his　Cell　and　threw　himself　upon　his　Couch；　distracted　irresolute　and　confused。

He　found　it　impossible　for　some　time　to　arrange　his　ideas。　　The　scene　in　which　He　had　been　engaged　had　excited　such　a　variety　of　sentiments　in　his　bosom；　that　He　was　incapable　of　deciding　which　was　predominant。　He　was　irresolute　what　conduct　He　ought　to　hold　with　the　disturber　of　his　repose。　　He　was　conscious　that　prudence；　religion；　and　propriety　necessitated　his　obliging　her　to　quit　the　Abbey：　　But　on　the　other　hand　such　powerful　reasons　authorized　her　stay　that　He　was　but　too　much　inclined　to　consent　to　her　remaining。　　He　could　not　avoid　being　flattered　by　Matilda's　declaration；　and　at　reflecting　that　He　had　unconsciously　vanquished　an　heart　which　had　resisted　the　attacks　of　Spain's　noblest　Cavaliers：　　The　manner　in　which　He　had　gained　her　affections　was　also　the　most　satisfactory　to　his　vanity：　He　remembered　the　many　happy　hours　which　He　had　passed　in　Rosario's　society；　and　dreaded　that　void　in　his　heart　which　parting　with　him　would　occasion。　　Besides　all　this；　He　considered；　that　as　Matilda　was　wealthy；　her　favour　might　be　of　essential　benefit　to　the　Abbey。

'And　what　do　I　risque；'　said　He　to　himself；　'by　authorizing　her　stay？　　May　I　not　safely　credit　her　assertions？　　Will　it　not　be　easy　for　me　to　forget　her　sex；　and　still　consider　her　as　my　Friend　and　my　disciple？　　Surely　her　love　is　as　pure　as　She　describes。　　Had　it　been　the　offspring　of　mere　licentiousness；　would　She　so　long　have　concealed　it　in　her　own　bosom？　　Would　She　not　have　employed　some　means　to　procure　its　gratification？　　She　has　done　quite　the　contrary：　　She　strove　to　keep　me　in　ignorance　of　her　sex；　and　nothing　but　the　fear　of　detection；　and　my　instances；　would　have　compelled　her　to　reveal　the　secret。　　She　has　observed　the　duties　of　religion　not　less　strictly