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第6章

the diary of a man of fifty-第6章

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…but this announcement; instead of shocking me; caused me to feel a 

strange exhilaration。  Most assuredly; after all these years; I bear 

the poor man no resentment。  Of course I controlled my manner; and 

simply remarked to the Countess that as his fault had been so was his 

punishment。  I think; however; that the feeling of which I speak was 

at the bottom of my saying to her that I hoped that; unlike her 

mother's; her own brief married life had been happy。



〃If it was not;〃 she said; 〃I have forgotten it now。〃I wonder if 

the late Count Scarabelli was also killed in a duel; and if his 

adversary 。 。 。 Is it on the books that his adversary; as well; shall 

perish by the pistol?  Which of those gentlemen is he; I wonder?  Is 

it reserved for poor little Stanmer to put a bullet into him?  No; 

poor little Stanmer; I trust; will do as I did。  And yet; 

unfortunately for him; that woman is consummately plausible。  She was 

wonderfully nice last evening; she was really irresistible。  Such 

frankness and freedom; and yet something so soft and womanly; such 

graceful gaiety; so much of the brightness; without any of the 

stiffness; of good breeding; and over it all something so 

picturesquely simple and southern。  She is a perfect Italian。  But 

she comes honestly by it。  After the talk I have just jotted down she 

changed her place; and the conversation for half an hour was general。  

Stanmer indeed said very little; partly; I suppose; because he is shy 

of talking a foreign tongue。  Was I like thatwas I so constantly 

silent?  I suspect I was when I was perplexed; and Heaven knows that 

very often my perplexity was extreme。  Before I went away I had a few 

more words tete…a…tete with the Countess。



〃I hope you are not leaving Florence yet;〃 she said; 〃you will stay a 

while longer?〃



I answered that I came only for a week; and that my week was over。



〃I stay on from day to day; I am so much interested。〃



〃Eh; it's the beautiful moment。  I'm glad our city pleases you!〃



〃Florence pleases meand I take a paternal interest to our young 

friend;〃 I added; glancing at Stanmer。  〃I have become very fond of 

him。〃



〃Bel tipo inglese;〃 said my hostess。  〃And he is very intelligent; he 

has a beautiful mind。〃



She stood there resting her smile and her clear; expressive eyes upon 

me。



〃I don't like to praise him too much;〃 I rejoined; 〃lest I should 

appear to praise myself; he reminds me so much of what I was at his 

age。  If your beautiful mother were to come to life for an hour she 

would see the resemblance。〃



She gave me a little amused stare。



〃And yet you don't look at all like him!〃



〃Ah; you didn't know me when I was twenty…five。  I was very handsome!  

And; moreover; it isn't that; it's the mental resemblance。  I was 

ingenuous; candid; trusting; like him。〃



〃Trusting?  I remember my mother once telling me that you were the 

most suspicious and jealous of men!〃



〃I fell into a suspicious mood; but I was; fundamentally; not in the 

least addicted to thinking evil。  I couldn't easily imagine any harm 

of any one。〃



〃And so you mean that Mr。 Stanmer is in a suspicions mood?〃



〃Well; I mean that his situation is the same as mine。〃



The Countess gave me one of her serious looks。  〃Come;〃 she said; 

〃what was itthis famous situation of yours?  I have heard you 

mention it before。〃



〃Your mother might have told you; since she occasionally did me the 

honour to speak of me。〃



〃All my mother ever told me was that you werea sad puzzle to her。〃



At this; of course; I laughed outI laugh still as I write it。



〃Well; then; that was my situationI was a sad puzzle to a very 

clever woman。〃



〃And you mean; therefore; that I am a puzzle to poor Mr。 Stanmer?〃



〃He is racking his brains to make you out。  Remember it was you who 

said he was intelligent。〃



She looked round at him; and as fortune would have it; his appearance 

at that moment quite confirmed my assertion。  He was lounging back in 

his chair with an air of indolence rather too marked for a drawing…

room; and staring at the ceiling with the expression of a man who has 

just been asked a conundrum。  Madame Scarabelli seemed struck with 

his attitude。



〃Don't you see;〃 I said; 〃he can't read the riddle?〃



〃You yourself;〃 she answered; 〃said he was incapable of thinking 

evil。  I should be sorry to have him think any evil of ME。〃



And she looked straight at meseriously; appealinglywith her 

beautiful candid brow。



I inclined myself; smiling; in a manner which might have meant〃How 

could that be possible?〃



〃I have a great esteem for him;〃 she went on; 〃I want him to think 

well of me。  If I am a puzzle to him; do me a little service。  

Explain me to him。〃



〃Explain you; dear lady?〃



〃You are older and wiser than he。  Make him understand me。〃



She looked deep into my eyes for a moment; and then she turned away。



26th。I have written nothing for a good many days; but meanwhile I 

have been half a dozen times to Casa Salvi。  I have seen a good deal 

also of my young friendhad a good many walks and talks with him。  I 

have proposed to him to come with me to Venice for a fortnight; but 

he won't listen to the idea of leaving Florence。  He is very happy in 

spite of his doubts; and I confess that in the perception of his 

happiness I have lived over again my own。  This is so much the case 

that when; the other day; he at last made up his mind to ask me to 

tell him the wrong that Madame de Salvi had done me; I rather checked 

his curiosity。  I told him that if he was bent upon knowing I would 

satisfy him; but that it seemed a pity; just now; to indulge in 

painful imagery。



〃But I thought you wanted so much to put me out of conceit of our 

friend。〃



〃I admit I am inconsistent; but there are various reasons for it。  In 

the first placeit's obviousI am open to the charge of playing a 

double game。  I profess an admiration for the Countess Scarabelli; 

for I accept her hospitality; and at the same time I attempt to 

poison your mind; isn't that the proper expression?  I can't exactly 

make up my mind to that; though my admiration for the Countess and my 

desire to prevent you from taking a foolish step are equally sincere。  

And then; in the second place; you seem to me; on the whole; so 

happy!  One hesitates to destroy an illusion; no matter how 

pernicious; that is so delightful while it lasts。  These are the rare 

moments of life。  To be young and ardent; in the midst of an Italian 

spring; and to believe in the moral perfection of a beautiful woman

what an admirable situation!  Float with the current; I'll stand on 

the brink and watch you。〃



〃Your real reason is that you feel you have no case against the poor 

lady;〃 said Stanmer。  〃You admire her as much as I do。〃



〃I just admitted that I admired her。  I never said she was a vulgar 

flirt; her mother was an absolutely scientific one。  Heaven knows I 

admired that!  It's a nice point; however; how much one is hound in 

honour not to warn a young friend against a dangerous woman because 

one also has relations of civility with the lady。〃



〃In such a case;〃 said Stanmer; 〃I would break off my relations。〃



I looked at him; and I think I laughed。



〃Are you jealous of me; by chance?〃



He shook his head emphatically。



〃Not in the least; I like to see you there; because your conduct 

contradicts your words。〃



〃I have always said that the Countess is fascinating。〃



〃Otherwise;〃 said Stanmer; 〃in the case you speak of I would give the 

lady notice。〃



〃Give her notice?〃



〃Mention to her that you regard her with suspicion; and that you 

propose to do your best to rescue a simple…minded youth from her 

wiles。  That would be more loyal。〃  And he began to laugh again。



It is not the first time he has laughed at me; but I have never

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