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the diary of a man of fifty-第9章

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〃Have you found Camerino?〃 I asked; smiling。



〃I have given up the search。〃



〃Well;〃 I said; 〃some day when you find that you have made a great 

mistake; remember I told you so。〃



He looked for a minute as if he were trying to anticipate that day by 

the exercise of his reason。



〃Has it ever occurred to you that YOU may have made a great mistake?〃



〃Oh yes; everything occurs to one sooner or later。〃



That's what I said to him; but I didn't say that the question; 

pointed by his candid young countenance; had; for the moment; a 

greater force than it had ever had before。



And then he asked me whether; as things had turned out; I myself had 

been so especially happy。



PARIS; December 17th。A note from young Stanmer; whom I saw in 

Florencea remarkable little note; dated Rome; and worth 

transcribing。





〃My dear GeneralI have it at heart to tell you that I was married a 

week ago to the Countess Salvi…Scarabelli。  You talked me into a 

great muddle; but a month after that it was all very clear。  Things 

that involve a risk are like the Christian faith; they must be seen 

from the inside。Yours ever; E。 S。



〃P。 S。A fig for analogies unless you can find an analogy for my 

happiness!〃





His happiness makes him very clever。  I hope it will lastI mean his 

cleverness; not his happiness。



LONDON; April 19th; 1877。Last night; at Lady H…'s; I met Edmund 

Stanmer; who married Bianca Salvi's daughter。  I heard the other day 

that they had come to England。  A handsome young fellow; with a fresh 

contented face。  He reminded me of Florence; which I didn't pretend 

to forget; but it was rather awkward; for I remember I used to 

disparage that woman to him。  I had a complete theory about her。  But 

he didn't seem at all stiff; on the contrary; he appeared to enjoy 

our encounter。  I asked him if his wife were there。  I had to do 

that。



〃Oh yes; she's in one of the other rooms。  Come and make her 

acquaintance; I want you to know her。〃



〃You forget that I do know her。〃



〃Oh no; you don't; you never did。〃  And he gave a little significant 

laugh。



I didn't feel like facing the ci…devant Scarabelli at that moment; so 

I said that I was leaving the house; but that I would do myself the 

honour of calling upon his wife。  We talked for a minute of something 

else; and then; suddenly breaking off and looking at me; he laid his 

hand on my arm。  I must do him the justice to say that he looks 

felicitous。



〃Depend upon it you were wrong!〃 he said。



〃My dear young friend;〃 I answered; 〃imagine the alacrity with which 

I concede it。〃



Something else again was spoken of; but in an instant he repeated his 

movement。



〃Depend upon it you were wrong。〃



〃I am sure the Countess has forgiven me;〃 I said; 〃and in that case 

you ought to bear no grudge。  As I have had the honour to say; I will 

call upon her immediately。〃



〃I was not alluding to my wife;〃 he answered。  〃I was thinking of 

your own story。〃



〃My own story?〃



〃So many years ago。  Was it not rather a mistake?〃



I looked at him a moment; he's positively rosy。



〃That's not a question to solve in a London crush。〃



And I turned away。



22d。I haven't yet called on the ci…devant; I am afraid of finding 

her at home。  And that boy's words have been thrumming in my ears

〃Depend upon it you were wrong。  Wasn't it rather a mistake?〃  WAS I 

wrongWAS it a mistake?  Was I too cautionstoo suspicioustoo 

logical?  Was it really a protector she neededa man who might have 

helped her?  Would it have been for his benefit to believe in her; 

and was her fault only that I had forsaken her?  Was the poor woman 

very unhappy?  God forgive me; how the questions come crowding in!  

If I marred her happiness; I certainly didn't make my own。  And I 

might have made iteh?  That's a charming discovery for a man of my 

age!









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