lecture08-第2章

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man　of　sensibility　in　many　directions；　who　finds　more　difficulty



than　is　common　in　keeping　　his　spiritual　house　in　order　and



running　his　furrow　straight；　because　his　feelings　and　impulses



are　too　keen　and　too　discrepant　mutually。　　In　the　haunting　and



insistent　ideas；　in　the　irrational　impulses；　the　morbid　scruples；



dreads；　and　inhibitions　which　beset　the　psychopathic　temperament



when　it　is　thoroughly　pronounced；　we　have　exquisite　examples　of



heterogeneous　personality。　　Bunyan　had　an　obsession　of　the　words；



〃Sell　Christ　for　this；　sell　him　for　that；　sell　him；　sell　him！〃



which　would　run　through　his　mind　a　hundred　times　together；　until



one　day　out　of　breath　with　retorting；　〃I　will　not；　I　will　not；〃



he　impulsively　said；　〃Let　him　go　if　he　will；〃　and　this　loss　of



the　battle　kept　him　in　despair　for　over　a　year。　　The　lives　of　the



saints　are　full　of　such　blasphemous　obsessions；　ascribed



invariably　to　the　direct　agency　of　Satan。　　The　phenomenon



connects　itself　with　the　life　of　the　subconscious　self；



so…called；　of　which　we　must　erelong　speak　more　directly。







＇90＇　Smith　Baker；　in　Journal　of　Nervous　and　Mental　Diseases；



September；　1893。















Now　in　all　of　us；　however　constituted；　but　to　a　degree　the



greater　in　proportion　as　we　are　intense　and　sensitive　and　subject



to　diversified　temptations；　and　to　the　greatest　possible　degree



if　we　are　decidedly　psychopathic；　does　the　normal　evolution　of



character　chiefly　consist　in　the　straightening　out　and　unifying



of　the　inner　self。　　The　higher　and　the　lower　feelings；　the　useful



and　the　erring　impulses；　begin　by　being　a　comparative　chaos



within　usthey　must　end　by　forming　a　stable　system　of　functions



in　right　subordination。　　Unhappiness　is　apt　to　characterize　the



period　of　order…making　and　struggle。　　If　the　individual　be　of



tender　conscience　and　religiously　quickened；　the　unhappiness　will



take　the　form　of　moral　remorse　and　compunction；　of　feeling



inwardly　vile　and　wrong；　and　of　standing　in　false　relations　to



the　author　of　one's　being　and　appointer　of　one's　spiritual　fate。　



This　is　the　religious　melancholy　and　〃conviction　of　sin〃　that



have　played　so　large　a　part　in　the　history　of　Protestant



Christianity。　　The　man's　interior　is　a　battle…ground　for　what　he



feels　to　be　two　deadly　hostile　selves；　one　actual；　the　other



ideal。　　As　Victor　Hugo　makes　his　Mahomet　say：







　　　　　〃Je　suis　le　champ　vil　des　sublimes　combats：



　　　　　Tantot　l'homme　d'en　haut；　et　tantot　l'homme　d'en　bas；



　　　　　Et　le　mal　dans　ma　bouche　avec　le　bien　alterne；



　　　　　Comme　dans　le　desert　le　sable　et　la　citerne。〃







Wrong　living；　impotent　aspirations；　〃What　I　would；　that　do　I　not；



but　what　I　hate；　that　do　I；〃　as　Saint　Paul　says；　self…loathing；



self…despair；　an　unintelligible　and　intolerable　burden　to　which



one　is　mysteriously　the　heir。







Let　me　quote　from　some　typical　cases　of　discordant　personality；



with　melancholy　in　the　form　of　self…condemnation　and　sense　of



sin。　　Saint　Augustine's　case　is　a　classic　example。　　You　all



remember　his　half…pagan；　half…Christian　bringing　up　at　Carthage；



his　emigration　to　Rome　and　Milan；　his　adoption　of　Manicheism　and



subsequent　skepticism；　and　his　restless　search　for　truth　and



purity　of　life；　and　finally　how；　distracted　by　the　struggle



between　the　two　souls　in　his　breast　and　ashamed　of　his　own



weakness　of　will；　when　so　many　others　whom　he　knew　and　knew　of



had　thrown　off　the　shackles　of　sensuality　and　dedicated



themselves　to　chastity　and　the　higher　life；　he　heard　a　voice　in



the　garden　say；　〃Sume；　lege〃　（take　and　read）；　and　opening　the



Bible　at　random；　saw　the　text；　〃not　in　chambering　and



wantonness；〃　etc。；　which　seemed　directly　sent　to　his　address；　and



laid　the　inner　storm　to　rest　forever。＇91＇　Augustine's



psychological　genius　has　given　an　account　of　the　trouble　of



having　a　divided　self　which　has　never　been　surpassed。







＇91＇　Louis　Gourdon　（Essai　sur　la　Conversion　de　Saint　Augustine；



Paris；　Fischbacher；　1900）　has　shown　by　an　analysis　of　Augustine's



writings　immediately　after　the　date　of　his　conversion　（A。　D。　386）



that　the　account　he　gives　in　the　Confessions　is　premature。　　The



crisis　in　the　garden　marked　a　definitive　conversion　from　his



former　life；　but　it　was　to　the　neo…platonic　spiritualism　and　only



a　halfway　stage　toward　Christianity。　　The　latter　he　appears　not



fully　and　radically　to　have　embraced　until　four　years　more　had



passed。















〃The　new　will　which　I　began　to　have　was　not　yet　strong　enough　to



overcome　that　other　will；　strengthened　by　long　indulgence。　So



these　two　wills；　one　old；　one　new；　one　carnal；　the　other



spiritual；　contended　with　each　other　and　disturbed　my　soul。　　I



understood　by　my　own　experience　what　I　had　read；　'flesh　lusteth



against　spirit；　and　spirit　against　flesh。'　It　was　myself　indeed



in　both　the　wills；　yet　more　myself　in　that　which　I　approved　in



myself　than　in　that　which　I　disapproved　in　myself。　　Yet　it　was



through　myself　that　habit　had　attained　so　fierce　a　mastery　over



me；　because　I　had　willingly　come　whither　I　willed　not。　　Still



bound　to　earth；　I　refused；　O　God；　to　fight　on　thy　side；　as　much



afraid　to　be　freed　from　all　bonds；　as　I　ought　to　have　feared



being　trammeled　by　them。







〃Thus　the　thoughts　by　which　I　meditated　upon　thee　were　like　the



efforts　of　one　who　would　awake；　but　being　overpowered　with



sleepiness　is　soon　asleep　again。　　Often　does　a　man　when　heavy



sleepiness　is　on　his　limbs　defer　to　shake　it　off；　and　though　not



approving　it；　encourage　it；　even　so　I　was　sure　it　was　better　to



surrender　to　thy　love　than　to　yield　to　my　own　lusts；　yet　though



the　former　course　convinced　me；　the　latter　pleased　and　held　me



bound。　　There　was　naught　in　me　to　answer　thy　call　'Awake；　thou



sleeper；'　but　only　drawling；　drowsy　words；　'Presently；　yes；



presently；　wait　a　little　while。'　　But　the　'presently'　had　no



'present；'　and　the　'little　while'　grew　long。　。　。　。　　For　I　was



afraid　thou　wouldst　hear　me　too　soon；　and　heal　me　at　once　of　my



disease　of　lust；　which　I　wished　to　satiate　rather　than　to　see



extinguished。　　With　what　lashes　of　words　did　I　not　scourge　my　own



soul。　　Yet　it　shrank　back；　it　refused；　though　it　had　no　excuse　to



offer。　。　。　。　I　said　within　myself：　　'Come；　let　it　be　done　now；'



and　as　I　said　it；　I　was　on　the　point　of　the　resolve。　　I　all　but



did　it；　yet　I　did　not　do　it。　　And　I　made　another　effort；　and



almost　succeeded；　yet　I　did　not　reach　it；　and　did　not　grasp　it；



hesitating　to　die　to　death；　and　live　to　life；　and　the　evil　to



which　I　was　so　wonted　held　me　more　than　the　better　life　I　had　not



tried。〃＇92＇







＇92＇　Confessions；　Book　VIII。；　Chaps。　v。；　vii。；　xi。；　abridged。















There　could　be　no　more　perfect　description　of　the　divided　will；



when　the　higher　wishes　lack　just　that　last　acuteness；　that　touch



of　explosive　intensity；　of　dynamogenic　quality　（to　use　the　slang



of　the　psychologists）；　that　enables　them　to　burst　their　shell；



and　make　irruption　efficaciously　into　life　and　quell　the　lower



tendencies　forever。　　In　a　later　lecture　we　shall　have　much　to　say



about　this　higher　excitability。







I　find　another　good　description　of　the　divided　will　in　the



autobiography　of　Henry　Alline；　the　Nova　Scotian　evangelist；　of



whose　melancholy　I　read　a　brief　account　in　my　last　lecture。　　The



poor　youth's　sins　were；　as　you　will　see；　of　the　most　harmless



order；　yet　they　interfered　with　what　proved　to　be　his　truest



vocation；　so　they　gave　him　great　distress。







〃I　was　now　very　moral　in　my　life；　but　fou