autobiography of a pocket-handkerchief-第12章

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timely　provision　for　its　wants。

Again　did　Adrienne　resume　her　customary　round　of　duties。　Four　hours
each　morning　were　devoted　to　me。　Then　followed　the　frugal　breakfast；
when　her　commoner　toil　for　the　milliner　succeeded。　The　rest　of　the　day
was　occupied　with　this　latter　work；　for　which　she　received　the
customary　fifteen　sous。　When　she　retired　at　night；　which　the　ailings　and
complaints　of　her　grandmother　seldom　permitted　before　eleven；　it　was
with　a　sense　of　weariness　that　began　to　destroy　sleep；　still　the　dear　girl
thought　herself　happy；　for　I　more　than　equaled　her　expectations；　and
she　had　latterly　worked　on　me　with　so　much　zeal　as　to　have　literally
thrown　the　fruits　of　two　weeks'　work　into　one。

But　the　few　francs　Adrienne　possessed　diminished　with　alarming
rapidity。　She　began　to　calculate　her　ways　and　means　once　more；　and
this　was　no　longer　done　as　readily　as　before。　Her　own　wardrobe　would
not　bear　any　drain　upon　it。　Early　in　the　indisposition　of　her　grandmother；
all　of　THAT　had　been　sold　which　she　could　spare；　for；　with　the
disinterestedness　of　her　nature；　when　sacrifices　became　necessary　her
first　thoughts　were　of　her　own　little　stock　of　clothes。　Of　jewelry　she
never　had　been　the　mistress　of　much；　though　the　vicomtesse　had
managed　to　save　a　few　relics　of　her　own　ancient　magnificence。
Nevertheless；　they　were　articles　of　but　little　value；　the　days　of　her　exile
having　made　many　demands　on　all　such　resources。

It　happened；　one　evening　when　Adrienne　was　receiving　her　wages　from
the　milliner；　that　the　poor　girl　overheard　a　discourse　that　proved　she
was　not　paid　at　the　rate　at　which　others　were　remunerated。　Her　eyes
told　her　that　her　own　work　was　the　neatest　in　the　shop；　and　she　also
saw　that　she　did　more　than　any　other　girl　employed　by　the　same　person。
As　she　knew　her　own　expertness　with　the　needle；　this　did　not　surprise
her；　but　she　felt　some　wonder　that　more　and　better　work　should
produce　the　least　reward。　Little　did　she　understand　the　artifices　of　the
selfish　and　calculating；　one　of　the　most　familiar　of　their　frauds　being　to
conceal　from　the　skillful　their　own　success；　lest　it　should　command　a
price　in　proportion　to　its　claims。　The　milliner　heard　Adrienne's　lady…like
and　gentle　remonstrance　with　alarm；　and　she　felt　that　she　was　in　danger
of　losing　a　prize。　But　two　expedients　suggested　themselves；　to　offer　a
higher　price；　or　to　undervalue　the　services　she　was　so　fearful　of　losing。
Her　practiced　policy；　as　well　as　her　selfishness；　counseled　her　to　try　the
latter　expedient　first。

〃You　amaze　me；　mademoiselle；〃　she　answered；　when　Adrienne；
trembling　at　her　own　resolution；　ceased　speaking。　〃I　was　thinking　myself
whether　I　could　afford　to　pay　you　fifteen　sous；　when　so　many　young
women　who　have　been　regularly　brought　up　to　the　business　are　willing
to　work　for　less。　I　am　afraid　we　must　part；　unless　you　can　consent　to
receive　twelve　sous　in　future。〃

Adrienne　stood　aghast。　The　very　mirror　of　truth　herself；　she　could　not
imagine　that　any　oneleast　of　all　any　womancould　be　so　false　and
cruel　as　to　practice　the　artifice　to　which　the　milliner　had　resorted；　and；
here；　just　as　she　saw　a　way　opened　by　which　she　might　support　both
her　grandmother　and　herself　until　the　handkerchief　was　completed；　a
change　threatened　her；　by　which　she　was　to　be　left　altogether　without
food。　Still　her　conscience　was　so　tender　that　she　even　doubted　the
propriety　of　accepting　her　old　wages　were　she　really　incompetent　to
earn　them。

〃I　had　hoped；　madame；〃　she　said；　the　color　coming　and　going　on
cheeks　that　were　now　usually　pale〃I　had　hoped；　madame；　that　you
found　my　work　profitable。　Surely；　surely　I　bring　home　as　much　at　night
as　any　other　demoiselle　you　employ。〃

〃In　that　there　is　not　much　difference；　I　allow；　mademoiselle；　but　you　can
imagine　that　work　done　by　one　accustomed　to　the　art　is　more　likely　to
please　customers　than　work　done　by　one　who　has　been　educated　as　a
lady。　Cependant；　I　will　not　throw　you　off；　as　I　know　that　your　poor
dear　grandmother〃

〃Sisi；〃　eagerly　interrupted　Adrienne；　trembling　from　head　to　foot　with
apprehension。

〃I　know　it　all；　mademoiselle；　and　the　dear　old　lady　shall　not　suffer；　you
shall　both　be　made　happy　again　on　fifteen。　To　ease　your　mind；
mademoiselle；　I　am　willing　to　make　a　written　contract　for　a　year；　at　that
rate；　too；　to　put　your　heart　at　ease。〃

〃Nonnonnon；〃　murmured　Adrienne；　happy　and　grateful　for　the
moment；　but　unwilling　to　defeat　her　own　plans　for　the　future。　〃Thank
you；　thank　you；　madame；　to…morrow　you　shall　see　what　I　can　do。〃

And　Adrienne　toiled　the　succeeding　day；　not　only　until　her　fingers　and
body　ached；　but；　until　her　very　heart　ached。　Poor　child！　Little　did　she
think　that　she　was　establishing　precedents　against　herself；　by　which
further　and　destructive　exertions　might　be　required。　But　the
apprehension　of　losing　the　pittance　she　actually　received；　and　thereby
blasting　all　hopes　from　me；　was　constantly　before　her　mind；　quickening
her　hand　and　sustaining　her　body。

During　all　this　time　Madame　de　la　Rocheaimard　continued　slowly　to
sink。　Old　age；　disappointments　and　poverty　were　working　out　their
usual　results；　and　death　was　near　to　close　the　scene。　So　gradual　were
the　changes；　however；　that　Adrienne　did　not　note　them；　and
accustomed　as　she　had　been　to　the　existence；　the　presence；　the　love　of
this　one　being；　and　of　this　being　only；　to　her　the　final　separation　scarce
seemed　within　the　bounds　of　possibility。　Surely　every　thing　around　the
human　family　inculcates　the　doctrine　of　the　mysterious　future；　and　the
necessity　of　living　principally　that　they　be　prepared　to　die。　All　they
produce　perishes；　all　they　imagine　perishes；　as　does　all　they　love。　The
union　of　two　beings　may　be　so　engrossing；　in　their　eyes；　have　lasted　so
long；　and　embraced　so　many　ties；　as　to　seem　indissoluble；　it　is　all
seeming；　the　hour　will　infallibly　come　when　the　past　becomes　as　nothing；
except　as　it　has　opened　the　way　to　the　future。

Adrienne　at　length；　by　dint　of　excessive　toil；　by　working　deep　into　the
nights；　by　stinting　herself　of　food；　and　by　means　of　having　disposed　of
the　last　article　with　which　she　could　possibly　part；　had　managed　to
support　her　grandmother　and　herself；　until　she　saw　me　so　far　done　as　to
be　within　another　day's　work　of　completion。　At　such　a　moment　as　this
all　feeling　of　vanity　is　out　of　the　question。　I　was　certainly　very　beautiful。
A　neater；　a　more　tasteful；　a　finer；　or　a　more　exquisitely　laced
handkerchief；　did　not　exist　within　the　walls　of　Paris。　In　all　that　she
figured　to　herself；　as　related　to　my　appearance；　the　end　justified　her
brightest　expectations；　but；　as　that　end　drew　near；　she　felt　how
insufficient　were　human　results　to　meet　the　desires　of　human　hopes。
Now　that　her　painful　and　exhausting　toil　was　nearly　over；　she　did　not
experience　the　happiness　she　had　anticipated。　The　fault　was　not　in　me；
but　in　herself。　Hope　had　exhausted　her　spirit；　and　as　if　merely　to　teach
the　vanity　of　the　wishes　of　men；　a　near　approach　to　the　object　that　had
seemed　so　desirable　in　the　distance；　had　stripped　off　the　mask　and　left
the　real　countenance　exposed。　There　was　nothing　unusual　in　this；　it　was
merely　following　out　a　known　law　of　nature。



CHAPTER　VII。

The　morning　of　the　14th　June　arrived。　Paris　is　then　at　its　loveliest
season。　The　gardens　in　particular　are　worthy　of　the　capital　of　Europe；
and　they　are　open　to　all　who　can　manage　to　make　a　decent　appearance。
Adrienne's　hotel　had　a　little　garden　in　the　rear；　and　she　sat　at　her
window　endeavoring　to　breathe　the　balmy　odors　that　arose　from　it。
Enter　it　she　could　not。　It　was　the　property；　or　devoted　to　the　uses；　of
the　occupant　of　the　rez　de　chaussee。　Still　she　might　look　at　it　as　often　as
she　dared　to　raise　her　eyes　from　her　needle。　The　poor　girl　was　not　what
she　had　been　two　months　before。　The　handkerchief　wanted　but　a　few
hours　of　being　finished；　it　is　true；　but　the　pale　cheeks；　the　hollow　eyes
and　the　anxious　look；　proved　at　what　a　sacrifice　of　health　and　physical
force　I　had　become　what　I　was。　As　I　had　grown　in　beauty；　the　hand
that　ornamented　me　had　wasted；　and　when　I　looked　up　to　catch　the
smile　of　approbation；　it　was　found　to　be　care　worn　and　melan