autobiography of a pocket-handkerchief-第22章

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that　it　is　on　the　best　possible　footinggrace；　ease；　high　breeding　and
common　sense　being　so　blended　together；　that　it　is　exceedingly　difficult
to　analyze　them；　or；　indeed；　to　tell　which　is　which。　It　is　this　moral　fusion
that　renders　the　whole　perfect；　as　the　harmony　of　fine　coloring　throws　a
glow　of　glory　on　the　pictures　of　Claude；　or；　for　that　matter；　on　those　of
Cole；　too。　Still；　as　envious　and　evil　disposed　persons　have　dared　to　call
in　question　the　elegance；　and　more　especially　the　retenue　of　a
Manhattanese　rout；　I　feel　myself　impelled；　if　not　by　that　high　sentiment；
patriotism；　at　least　by　a　feeling　of　gratitude　for　the　great　consideration
that　is　attached　to　pocket…handkerchiefs；　just　to　declare　that　it　is　all
scandal。　If　I　have　any　fault　to　find　with　New　York　society；　it　is　on
account　of　its　formal　and　almost　priggish　quietthe　female　voice　being
usually　quite　lost　in　itthus　leaving　a　void　in　the　ear；　not　to　say　the　heart；
that　is　painful　to　endure。　Could　a　few　young　ladies；　too；　be　persuaded
to　become　a　little　more　prominent；　and　quit　their　mother's　apron…strings；
it　would　add　vastly　to　the　grouping；　and　relieve　the　stiffness　of　the　〃shin…
pieces〃　of　formal　rows　of　dark…looking　men；　and　of　the　flounces　of
pretty　women。　These　two　slight　faults　repaired；　New　York　society
might　rival　that　of　Paris；　especially　in　the　Chausse　d'Autin。　More　than
this　I　do　not　wish　to　say；　and　less　than　this　I　cannot　in　honor　write；　for　I
have　made　some　of　the　warmest　and　truest…hearted　friends　in　New
York　that　it　ever　fell　to　the　lot　of　a　pocket…handkerchief　to　enjoy。

｛salle　a　manger…salons　=　dining　rooms…parlor；　GREAT　EMPORIUM
＇capitals　in　original＇　=　New　York　City；　Claude　=　Claude　Lorrain
（1600…1682）；　French　landscape　painter；　Cole　=　Thomas　Cole　（1801…
1848）；　American　landscape　painter；　rout　=　evening　party；　Chausse
d'Autin　=　Chaussee　d'Antin；　a　fashionable　Parisian　street　and
neighborhood｝

It　has　been　said　that　my　arrival　produced　a　general　buzz。　In　less　than　a
minute　Eudosia　had　made　her　curtsy；　and　was　surrounded；　in　a　corner；
by　a　bevy　of　young　friends；　all　silent　together；　and　all　dying　to　see　me。
To　deny　the　deep　gratification　I　felt　at　the　encomiums　I　received；　would
be　hypocrisy。　They　went　from　my　borders　to　my　centrefrom　the　lace
to　the　hemand　from　the　hem　to　the　minutest　fibre　of　my　exquisite
texture。　In　a　word；　I　was　the　first　hundred…dollar　pocket…handkerchief
that　had　then　appeared　in　their　circles；　and　had　I　been　a　Polish　count；
with　two　sets　of　moustaches；　I　could　not　have　been　more　flattered　and
〃entertained。〃　My　fame　soon　spread　through　the　rooms；　as　two　little
apartments；　with　a　door　between　them　that　made　each　an　alcove　of　the
other；　were　called；　and　even　the　men；　the　young　ones　in　particular；
began　to　take　an　interest　in　me。　This　latter　interest；　it　is　true；　did　not
descend　to　the　minutiae　of　trimmings　and　work；　or　even　of　fineness；　but
the　〃three　figure〃　had　a　surprising　effect。　An　elderly　lady　sent　to　borrow
me　for　a　moment。　It　was　a　queer　thing　to　borrow　a　pocket…
handkerchief；　some　will　think；　but　I　was　lent　to　twenty　people　that　night；
and　while　in　her　hands；　I　overheard　the　following　little　aside；　between
two　young　fashionables；　who　were　quite　unconscious　of　the　acuteness
of　the　senses　of　our　family。

〃This　must　be　a　rich　old　chap；　this　Halfacre；　to　be　able　to　give　his
daughter　a　hundred…dollar　pocket…handkerchief；　Tom；　one　might　do
well　to　get　introduced。〃

〃If　you'll　take　my　advice；　Ned；　you'll　keep　where　you　are；〃　was　the
answer。　〃You've　been　to　the　surrogate's　office；　and　have　seen　the　will　of
old　Simonds；　and　KNOW　that　he　has　left　his　daughter　seventy…eight
thousand　dollars；　and；　after　all；　this　pocket…handkerchief　may　be　only　a
sign。　I　always　distrust　people　who　throw　out　such　lures。〃

〃Oh；　rely　on　it；　there　is　no　sham　here；　Charley　Pray　told　me　of　this　girl
last　week；　when　no　one　had　ever　heard　of　her　pocket…handkerchief。〃

〃Why　don't　Charley；　then；　take　her　himself？　I'm　sure；　if　I　had　HIS
imperial；　I　could　pick　and　choose　among　all　the　second…class　heiresses
in　town。〃

｛imperial　=　wealth　（from　a　Russian　gold　coin）｝

〃Ay；　there's　the　rub；　Tom；　one　is　obliged　in　our　business　to　put　up　with
the　SECOND　class。　Why　can't　we　aim　higher　at　once；　and　get　such
girls　as　the　Burtons；　for　instance？〃

〃The　Burtons　have；　or　have　had；　a　mother。〃

〃And　haven't　all　girls　mothers？　Who　ever　heard　of　a　man　or　a　woman
without　a　mother！〃

〃True；　physically；　but　I　mean　morally。　Now　this　very　Eudosia　Halfacre
has　no　more　mother；　in　the　last　sense；　than　you　have　a　wet…nurse。　She
has　an　old　woman　to　help　her　make　a　fool　of　herself；　but；　in　the　way　of
a　mother；　she　would　be　better　off　with　a　pair　of　good　gum…shoes。　A
creature　that　is　just　to　tell　a　girl　not　to　wet　her　feet；　and　when　to　cloak
and　uncloak；　and　to　help　tear　the　check…book　out　of　money；　is　no　more
of　a　mother　than　old　Simonds　was　of　a　Solomon；　when　he　made　that
will　which　every　one　of　us　knows　by　heart　quite　as　well　as　he　knows　the
constitution。〃

Here　a　buzz　in　the　room　drew　the　two　young　men　a　little　aside；　and　for
a　minute　I　heard　nothing　but　indistinct　phrases；　in　which　〃removal　of
deposites；〃　〃panic；〃　〃General　Jackson；〃　and　〃revolution；〃　were　the　only
words　I　could　fairly　understand。　Presently；　however；　the　young　men
dropped　back　into　their　former　position；　and　the　dialogue　proceeded。

｛General　Jackson。。。　=　President　Andrew　Jackson　in　1833　withdrew　the
federal　government　deposits　from　the　Bank　of　the　United　States；　leading
to　a　major　financial　panic｝

〃There！〃　exclaimed　Ned；　in　a　voice　louder　than　was　prudent；　〃THAT　is
what　I　call　an　escape！　That　cursed　handkerchief　was　very　near　taking
me　in。　I　call　it　swindling　to　make　such　false　pretensions。〃

〃It　might　be　very　awkward　with　one　who　was　not　properly　on　his　guard；
but　with　the　right　sort　there　is　very　little　danger。〃

Here　the　two　elegants　led　out　a　couple　of　heiresses　to　dance；　and　I
heard　no　more　of　them　or　of　their　escapes。　Lest　the　reader；　however；
should　be　misled；　I　wish　to　add；　that　these　two　worthies　are　not　to　be
taken　as　specimens　of　New　York　morality　at　allno　place　on　earth
being　more　free　from　fortune…hunters；　or　of　a　higher　tone　of　social
morals　in　this　delicate　particular。　As　I　am　writing　for　American　readers；
I　wish　to　say；　that　all　they　are　told　of　the　vices　of　OLD　countries；　on　the
other　side　of　the　Atlantic；　is　strictly　true；　while　all　that　is　said；　directly；　or
by　implication；　of　the　vices　and　faults　of　this　happy　young　country；　is　just
so　much　calumny。　The　many　excellent　friends　I　have　made；　since　my
arrival　in　this　hemisphere；　has　bound　my　heart　to　them　to　all　eternity；
and　I　will　now　proceed　with　my　philosophical　and　profound
disquisitions　on　what　I　have　seen；　with　a　perfect　confidence　that　I　shall
receive　credit；　and　an　independence　of　opinion　that　is　much　too　dear　to
me　to　consent　to　place　it　in　question。　But　to　return　to　facts。

｛elegants　=　dandies｝

I　was　restored　to　Eudosia；　with　a　cold；　reserved　look；　by　a　lady　into
whose　hands　I　had　passed；　that　struck　me　as　singular；　as　shown　to　the
owner　of　such　an　article。　It　was　not　long；　however；　before　I　discovered；
to　use　a　homely　phrase；　that　something　had　happened；　and　I　was　not
altogether　without　curiosity　to　know　what　that　something　was。　It　was
apparent　enough；　that　Eudosia　was　the　subject　of　general　observation；
and　of　general　conversation；　though；　so　long　as　she　held　me　in　her　hand；
it　exceeded　all　my　acuteness　of　hearing　to　learn　what　was　said。　The
poor　girl　fancied　her　pocket…handkerchief　was　the　common　theme；　and
in　this　she　was　not　far　from　right；　though　it　was　in　a　way　she　little
suspected。　At　length　Clara　Caverly　drew　near；　and　borrowed　me　of　her
friend；　under　a　pretext　of　showing　me　to　her　mother；　who　was　in　the
room；　though；　in　fact；　it　was　merely　to　get　me　out　of　sight；　for　Clara　was
much　too　well…bred　to　render　any　part　of　another's　dress　the　subject　of
her　discussions　in　general　society。　As　if　impatient　to　get　me　out　of　sight；
I　was　thrown　on　a　sofa；　among　a　little　pile　of　consoeurs；　（if　there　is　such
a　word；）　for　a　gathering　had　been　made；　while　our　pretty　hostesses
were　dancing；　in　order　to　compa