autobiography of a pocket-handkerchief-第24章

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know　a　man　of　greater　energy　than　yourself。〃

The　grin　with　which　the　ruined　speculator　turned　on　his　wife　was　nearly
sardonic。

〃Your　men　of　energy　are　the　very　fellows　TO　fail；〃　he　said；　〃however；
they　shall　find　if　I　have　had　extraordinary　energy　in　running　into　debt；
that　I　have　extraordinary　energy；　too；　in　getting　out　of　it。　Mrs。　Halfacre；
we　must　quit　this　house　this　very　week；　and　all　this　fine　furniture　must　be
brought　to　the　hammer。　I　mean　to　preserve　my　character；　at　least。〃

This　was　said　loftily；　and　with　the　most　approved　accents。

〃Surely　it　isn't　necessary　to　move　to　do　that；　my　dear！　Other　people　fail；
and　keep　their　houses；　and　furniture；　and　carriages；　and　such　other
things。　Let　us　not　make　ourselves　the　subjects　of　unpleasant　remarks。〃

〃I　intend　that　as　little　as　you　do　yourself。　We　must　quit　this　house　and
bring　the　furniture　under　the　hammer；　or　part　with　all　those　lots　you　so
much　esteem　and　prize。〃

〃Oh！　If　the　house　and　furniture　will　pay　the　notes　I'm　content；　especially
if　you　can　contrive　to　keep　the　lots。　Dosie　will　part　with　her
handkerchief；　too；　I　dare　say；　if　that　will　do　any　good。〃

〃By　George！　that　will　be　a　capital　ideayes；　the　handkerchief　must　be
sent　back　to…morrow　morning；　THAT　will　make　a　famous　talk。　I　only
bought　it　because　Munny　was　present；　and　I　wanted　to　get　fifty
thousand　dollars　out　of　him；　to　meet　this　crisis。　The　thing　didn't　succeed；
but；　no　matter；　the　handkerchief　will　tell　in　settling　up。　That
handkerchief；　Dosie；　may　be　made　to　cover　a　hundred　lots。〃

In　what　manner　I　was　to　open　so　much；　like　the　tent　of　the　Arabian
Nights；　was　a　profound　mystery　to　me　then；　as　well　as　it　was　to　the
ladies；　but　the　handsome　Eudosia　placed　me　in　her　father's　hand　with　a
frank　liberality　that　proved　she　was　not　altogether　without　good
qualities。　As　I　afterwards　discovered；　indeed；　these　two　females　had
most　of　the　excellences　of　a　devoted　wife　and　daughter；　their　frivolities
being　the　result　of　vicious　educations　or　of　no　educations　at　all；　rather
than　of　depraved　hearts。　When　Mr。　Halfacre　went　into　liquidation；　as　it
is　called；　and　compromised　with　his　creditors；　reserving　to　himself　a
pretty　little　capital　of　some　eighty　or　a　hundred　thousand　dollars；　by
means　of　judicious　payments　to　confidential　creditors；　his　wife　and
daughter　saw　all　THEY　most　prized　taken　away；　and　the　town　was
filled　with　the　magnitude　of　their　sacrifices；　and　with　the　handsome
manner　in　which　both　submitted　to　make　them。　By　this　ingenious　device；
the　insolvent　not　only　preserved　his　character；　by　no　means　an　unusual
circumstance　in　New　York；　however；　but　he　preserved　about　half　of　his
bona　fide　estate　also；　his　creditors；　as　was　customary；　doing　the
PAYING。

It　is　unnecessary　to　dwell　on　the　remainder　of　this　dialogue；　my　own
adventures　so　soon　carrying　me　into　an　entirely　different　sphere。　The
following　morning；　however；　as　soon　as　he　had　breakfasted；　Mr。
Halfacre　put　me　in　his　pocket；　and　walked　down　street；　with　the　port　of
an　afflicted　and　stricken；　but　thoroughly　honest　man。　When　he　reached
the　shop…door　of　Bobbinet　&　Co。；　he　walked　boldly　in；　and　laid　me　on
the　counter　with　a　flourish　so　meek；　that　even　the　clerks；　a　very　matter…
of…fact　caste　in　general；　afterwards　commented　on　it。

〃Circumstances　of　an　unpleasant　nature；　on　which　I　presume　it　is
unnecessary　to　dwell；　compel　me　to　offer　you　this　handkerchief；　back
again；　gentlemen；〃　he　said；　raising　his　hand　to　his　eyes　in　a　very　affecting
manner。　〃As　a　bargain　is　a　bargain；　I　feel　great　reluctance　to　disturb　its
sacred　obligations；　but　I　CANNOT　suffer　a　child　of　mine　to　retain　such
a　luxury；　while　a　single　individual　can　justly　say　that　I　owe　him　a　dollar。〃

〃What　fine　sentiments！〃　said　Silky；　who　was　lounging　in　a　corner　of　the
shop〃wonderful　sentiments；　and　such　as　becomes　a　man　of　honesty。〃

Those　around　the　colonel　approved　of　his　opinion；　and　Mr。　Halfacre
raised　his　head　like　one　who　was　not　afraid　to　look　his　creditors　in　the
face。

〃I　approve　of　your　motives；　Mr。　Halfacre；〃　returned　Bobbinet；　〃but　you
know　the　character　of　the　times；　and　the　dearness　of　rents。　That　article
has　been　seen　in　private　hands；　doubtless；　and　can　no　longer　be
considered　freshwe　shall　be　forced　to　make　a　considerable
abatement；　if　we　consent　to　comply。〃

〃Name　your　own　terms；　sir；　so　they　leave　me　a　single　dollar　for　my
creditors；　I　shall　be　happy。〃

〃Wonderful　sentiments！〃　repeated　the　colonel〃we　must　send　that　man
to　the　national　councils！〃

After　a　short　negotiation；　it　was　settled　that　Mr。　Halfacre　was　to　receive
50；　and　Bobbinet　&　Co。　were　to　replace　me　in　their　drawer。　The　next
morning　an　article　appeared　in　a　daily　paper　of　pre…eminent　honesty　and
truth；　and　talents；　in　the　following　words：

〃WORTHY　OF　IMITATION。A　distinguished　gentleman　of　this　city；
H　H；　Esquire；　having　been　compelled　to　SUSPEND；　in
consequence　of　the　late　robbery　of　the　Bank　of　the　United　States　by　the
cold…blooded　miscreant　whose　hoary　head　disgraces　the　White　House；
felt　himself　bound　to　return　an　article　of　dress；　purchased　as　recently　as
yesterday　by　his　lovely　daughter；　and　who；　in　every　respect；　was
entitled　to　wear　it；　as　she　would　have　adorned　it；　receiving　back　the
price；　with　a　view　to　put　it　in　the　fund　he　is　already　collecting　to　meet　the
demands　of　his　creditors。　It　is　due　to　the　very　respectable　firm　of
Bobbinet　&　Co。　to　add；　that　it　refunded　the　money　with　the　greatest
liberality；　at　the　first　demand。　We　can　recommend　this　house　to　our
readers　as　one　of　the　most　liberal　in　OUR　city；　（by　the　way　the　editor
who　wrote　this　article　didn't　own　a　foot　of　the　town；　or　of　any　thing
else；）　and　as　possessing　a　very　large　and　well　selected　assortment　of　the
choicest　goods。〃

The　following　words〃we　take　this　occasion　to　thank　Messrs。
Bobbinet　&　Co。　for　a　specimen　of　most　beautiful　gloves　sent　us；〃　had　a
line　run　through　in　the　manuscript；　a　little　reflection；　telling　the　learned
editor　that　it　might　be　indiscreet　to　publish　the　fact　at　that　precise
moment。　The　American　will　know　how　to　appreciate　the　importance　of
this　opinion；　in　relation　to　the　house　in　question；　when　he　is　told　that　it
was　written　by　one　of　those　inspired　moralists；　and　profound
constitutional　lawyers；　and　ingenious　political　economists；　who　daily
teach　their　fellow　creatures　how　to　give　practical　illustrations　of　the
mandates　of　the　Bible；　how　to　discriminate　in　vexed　questions　arising
from　the　national　compact；　and　how　to　manage　their　private　affairs　in
such　a　way　as　to　escape　the　quicksands　that　have　wrecked　their　own。

As　some　of　my　readers　may　feel　an　interest　in　the　fate　of　poor　Eudosia；
I　will　take　occasion　to　say；　before　I　proceed　with　the　account　of　my
own　fortunes；　that　it　was　not　half　as　bad　as　might　have　been　supposed。
Mr。　Halfacre　commenced　his　compromises　under　favorable　auspices。
The　reputation　of　the　affair　of　the　pocket…handkerchief　was　of　great
service；　and　creditors　relented　as　they　thought　of　the　hardship　of
depriving　a　pretty　girl　of　so　valuable　an　appliance。　Long　before　the
public　had　ceased　to　talk　about　the　removal　of　the　deposits；　Mr。
Halfacre　had　arranged　every　thing　to　his　own　satisfaction。　The　lots　were
particularly　useful；　one　of　them　paying　off　a　debt　that　had　been
contracted　for　half　a　dozen。　Now　and　then　he　met　an　obstinate　fellow
who　insisted　on　his　money；　and　who　talked　of　suits　in　chancery。　Such
men　were　paid　off　in　full；　litigation　being　the　speculator's　aversion。　As
for　the　fifty　dollars　received　for　me；　it　answered　to　go　to　market　with
until　other　funds　were　found。　This　diversion　of　the　sum　from　its　destined
object；　however；　was　apparent　rather　than　real；　since　food　was
indispensable　to　enable　the　excellent　but　unfortunate　man　to　work　for
the　benefit　of　his　creditors。　In　short；　every　thing　was　settled　in　the　most
satisfactory　manner；　Mr。　Halfacre　paying　a　hundred　cents　in　the　dollar；
in　lots；　however；　but　in　such　a　manner　as　balanced　his　books　beautifully。

〃Now；　thank　God！　I　owe　no　man　a　sixpence；〃　said　Mr。　to　Mrs。
Halfacre；　the　day　all　was　concluded；　〃and　only　one　small　mistake　has
been　made　by　me；　in　going　through　so　many　complicated　accounts；　and
f