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mark twain, a biography, 1900-1907-µÚ2ÕÂ

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¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡gates£»¡¡but¡¡in¡¡our¡¡own¡¡neighborhood¡£¡¡¡¡We¡¡have¡¡set¡¡Cuba¡¡free¡¡and
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡placed¡¡her¡¡among¡¡the¡¡galaxy¡¡of¡¡free¡¡nations¡¡of¡¡the¡¡world¡£¡¡¡¡We
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¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡plan¡¡miscarried¡¡perhaps¡¡I¡¡shall¡¡never¡¡know¡£¡¡¡¡We¡¡have¡¡also¡¡been
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡making¡¡a¡¡creditable¡¡showing¡¡in¡¡China£»¡¡and¡¡that¡¡is¡¡more¡¡than¡¡all¡¡the
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡other¡¡powers¡¡can¡¡say¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡¡¨Yellow¡¡Terror¡¨¡¡is¡¡threatening¡¡the¡¡world£»
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡but¡¡no¡¡matter¡¡what¡¡happens¡¡the¡¡United¡¡States¡¡says¡¡that¡¡it¡¡has¡¡had¡¡no
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡part¡¡in¡¡it¡£

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Since¡¡I¡¡have¡¡been¡¡away¡¡we¡¡have¡¡been¡¡nursing¡¡free¡¡silver¡£¡¡¡¡We¡¡have
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¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡but¡¡every¡¡time¡¡it¡¡seemed¡¡to¡¡be¡¡getting¡¡along¡¡nicely¡¡along¡¡came¡¡some
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡pestiferous¡¡Republican¡¡and¡¡gave¡¡it¡¡the¡¡measles¡¡or¡¡something¡£¡¡¡¡I¡¡fear
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡we¡¡will¡¡never¡¡raise¡¡that¡¡child¡£

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡We've¡¡done¡¡more¡¡than¡¡that¡£¡¡¡¡We¡¡elected¡¡a¡¡President¡¡four¡¡years¡¡ago¡£¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡We've¡¡found¡¡fault¡¡and¡¡criticized¡¡him£»¡¡and¡¡here¡¡a¡¡day¡¡or¡¡two¡¡ago¡¡we
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¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡to¡¡do¡¡it¡¡over¡¡again¡£

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ex¡­Speaker¡¡Reedand¡¡they¡¡praised¡¡him¡¡and¡¡gibed¡¡him¡¡to¡¡his¡¡and¡¡their
hearts'¡¡content¡£

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municipal£»¡¡national£»¡¡or¡¡international£»¡¡and¡¡he¡¡spoke¡¡out¡¡more¡¡and¡¡more
freely£»¡¡as¡¡with¡¡each¡¡opportunity¡¡he¡¡warmed¡¡more¡¡righteously¡¡to¡¡his
subject¡£

At¡¡the¡¡dinner¡¡given¡¡to¡¡him¡¡by¡¡the¡¡St¡£¡¡Nicholas¡¡Club¡¡he¡¡said£»¡¡with¡¡deep
irony£º

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Gentlemen£»¡¡you¡¡have¡¡here¡¡the¡¡best¡¡municipal¡¡government¡¡in¡¡the¡¡world£»
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡and¡¡the¡¡most¡¡fragrant¡¡and¡¡the¡¡purest¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡very¡¡angels¡¡of¡¡heaven
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡envy¡¡you¡¡and¡¡wish¡¡they¡¡had¡¡a¡¡government¡¡like¡¡it¡¡up¡¡there¡£¡¡¡¡You¡¡got
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡it¡¡by¡¡your¡¡noble¡¡fidelity¡¡to¡¡civic¡¡duty£»¡¡by¡¡the¡¡stern¡¡and¡¡ever
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡watchful¡¡exercise¡¡of¡¡the¡¡great¡¡powers¡¡lodged¡¡in¡¡you¡¡as¡¡lovers¡¡and
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡guardians¡¡of¡¡your¡¡city£»¡¡by¡¡your¡¡manly¡¡refusal¡¡to¡¡sit¡¡inert¡¡when¡¡base
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡men¡¡would¡¡have¡¡invaded¡¡her¡¡high¡¡places¡¡and¡¡possessed¡¡them£»¡¡by¡¡your
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡instant¡¡retaliation¡¡when¡¡any¡¡insult¡¡was¡¡offered¡¡you¡¡in¡¡her¡¡person£»
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡or¡¡any¡¡assault¡¡was¡¡made¡¡upon¡¡her¡¡fair¡¡fame¡£¡¡¡¡It¡¡is¡¡you¡¡who¡¡have¡¡made
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡this¡¡government¡¡what¡¡it¡¡is£»¡¡it¡¡is¡¡you¡¡who¡¡have¡¡made¡¡it¡¡the¡¡envy¡¡and
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡despair¡¡of¡¡the¡¡other¡¡capitals¡¡of¡¡the¡¡worldand¡¡God¡¡bless¡¡you¡¡for
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡it£»¡¡gentlemen£»¡¡God¡¡bless¡¡you£¡¡¡¡¡And¡¡when¡¡you¡¡get¡¡to¡¡heaven¡¡at¡¡last
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡they'll¡¡say¡¡with¡¡joy£»¡¡¡¨Oh£»¡¡there¡¡they¡¡come£»¡¡the¡¡representatives¡¡of
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡perfectest¡¡citizenship¡¡in¡¡the¡¡universe¡¡show¡¡them¡¡the¡¡archangel's
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡box¡¡and¡¡turn¡¡on¡¡the¡¡limelight£¡¡¨

Those¡¡hearers¡¡who¡¡in¡¡former¡¡years¡¡had¡¡been¡¡indifferent¡¡to¡¡Mark¡¡Twain's
more¡¡serious¡¡purpose¡¡began¡¡to¡¡realize¡¡that£»¡¡whatever¡¡he¡¡may¡¡have¡¡been
formerly£»¡¡he¡¡was¡¡by¡¡no¡¡means¡¡now¡¡a¡¡mere¡¡fun¡­maker£»¡¡but¡¡a¡¡man¡¡of¡¡deep¡¡and
grave¡¡convictions£»¡¡able¡¡to¡¡give¡¡them¡¡the¡¡fullest¡¡and¡¡most¡¡forcible
expression¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡still¡¡might¡¡make¡¡them¡¡laugh£»¡¡but¡¡he¡¡also¡¡made¡¡them¡¡think£»
and¡¡he¡¡stirred¡¡them¡¡to¡¡a¡¡truer¡¡gospel¡¡of¡¡patriotism¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡did¡¡not¡¡preach¡¡a
patriotism¡¡that¡¡meant¡¡a¡¡boisterous¡¡cheering¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Stars¡¡and¡¡Stripes
right¡¡or¡¡wrong£»¡¡but¡¡a¡¡patriotism¡¡that¡¡proposed¡¡to¡¡keep¡¡the¡¡Stars¡¡and
Stripes¡¡clean¡¡and¡¡worth¡¡shouting¡¡for¡£¡¡¡¡In¡¡an¡¡article£»¡¡perhaps¡¡it¡¡was¡¡a
speech£»¡¡begun¡¡at¡¡this¡¡time¡¡he¡¡wrote£º

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡We¡¡teach¡¡the¡¡boys¡¡to¡¡atrophy¡¡their¡¡independence¡£¡¡¡¡We¡¡teach¡¡them¡¡to
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡take¡¡their¡¡patriotism¡¡at¡¡second¡­hand£»¡¡to¡¡shout¡¡with¡¡the¡¡largest
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡crowd¡¡without¡¡examining¡¡into¡¡the¡¡right¡¡or¡¡wrong¡¡of¡¡the¡¡matter
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡exactly¡¡as¡¡boys¡¡under¡¡monarchies¡¡are¡¡taught¡¡and¡¡have¡¡always¡¡been
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡taught¡£¡¡¡¡We¡¡teach¡¡them¡¡to¡¡regard¡¡as¡¡traitors£»¡¡and¡¡hold¡¡in¡¡aversion
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡and¡¡contempt£»¡¡such¡¡as¡¡do¡¡not¡¡shout¡¡with¡¡the¡¡crowd£»¡¡&¡¡so¡¡here¡¡in¡¡our
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡democracy¡¡we¡¡are¡¡cheering¡¡a¡¡thing¡¡which¡¡of¡¡all¡¡things¡¡is¡¡most
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡foreign¡¡to¡¡it¡¡&¡¡out¡¡of¡¡placethe¡¡delivery¡¡of¡¡our¡¡political
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡conscience¡¡into¡¡somebody¡¡else's¡¡keeping¡£¡¡¡¡This¡¡is¡¡patriotism¡¡on¡¡the
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Russian¡¡plan¡£

Howells¡¡tells¡¡of¡¡discussing¡¡these¡¡vital¡¡matters¡¡with¡¡him¡¡in¡¡¡¨an¡¡upper
room£»¡¨¡¡looking¡¡south¡¡over¡¡a¡¡quiet£»¡¡open¡¡space¡¡o£¿back¡¡yards¡¡where£»¡¨¡¡he
says£»¡¡¡¨we¡¡fought¡¡our¡¡battles¡¡in¡¡behalf¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Filipinos¡¡and¡¡Boers£»¡¡and¡¡he
carried¡¡on¡¡his¡¡campaign¡¡against¡¡the¡¡missionaries¡¡in¡¡China¡£¡¨

Howells¡¡at¡¡the¡¡time¡¡expressed¡¡an¡¡amused¡¡fear¡¡that¡¡Mark¡¡Twain's
countrymen£»¡¡who¡¡in¡¡former¡¡years¡¡had¡¡expected¡¡him¡¡to¡¡be¡¡merely¡¡a¡¡humorist£»
should¡¡now£»¡¡in¡¡the¡¡light¡¡of¡¡his¡¡wider¡¡acceptance¡¡abroad£»¡¡demand¡¡that¡¡he
be¡¡mainly¡¡serious¡£

But¡¡the¡¡American¡¡people¡¡were¡¡quite¡¡ready¡¡to¡¡accept¡¡him¡¡in¡¡any¡¡of¡¡his
phases£»¡¡fully¡¡realizing¡¡that¡¡whatever¡¡his¡¡philosophy¡¡or¡¡doctrine¡¡it¡¡would
have¡¡somewhat¡¡of¡¡the¡¡humorous¡¡form£»¡¡and¡¡whatever¡¡his¡¡humor£»¡¡there¡¡would
somewhere¡¡be¡¡wisdom¡¡in¡¡it¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡had¡¡in¡¡reality¡¡changed¡¡little£»¡¡for¡¡a
generation¡¡he¡¡had¡¡thought¡¡the¡¡sort¡¡of¡¡things¡¡which¡¡he¡¡now£»¡¡with¡¡advanced
years¡¡and¡¡a¡¡different¡¡audience£»¡¡felt¡¡warranted¡¡in¡¡uttering¡¡openly¡£¡¡¡¡The
man¡¡who¡¡in¡¡'64¡¡had¡¡written¡¡against¡¡corruption¡¡in¡¡San¡¡Francisco£»¡¡who¡¡a¡¡few
years¡¡later¡¡had¡¡defended¡¡the¡¡emigra

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