cleopatra-第29章

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still　for　ever！　It　is　frugal　dealing　with　the　occasion　of　the　moment；

ay；　worthy　and　honourable　dealing！〃



Then　at　last　I　broke　forth。　〃Girl；〃　I　cried；　〃how　darest　thou　speak

thus　to　me？　Mindest　thou　who　and　what　I　am　that　thou　loosest　thy

peevish　gibes　upon　me？〃



〃I　mind　what　it　behoves　thee　to　be；〃　she　answered　quick。　〃What　thou

art；　that　I　mind　not　now。　Surely　thou　knowest　alonethou　and

Cleopatra！〃



〃What　meanest　thou？〃　I　said。　〃Am　I　to　blame　if　the　Queen〃



〃The　Queen！　What　have　we　here？　Pharaoh　owns　a　Queen！〃



〃If　Cleopatra　wills　to　come　hither　of　a　night　and　talk〃



〃Of　stars；　Harmachissurely　of　stars　and　roses；　and　naught　beside！〃



After　that　I　know　not　what　I　said；　for；　troubled　as　I　was；　the　girl's

bitter　tongue　and　quiet　way　drove　me　wellnigh　to　madness。　But　this　I

know：　I　spoke　so　fiercely　that　she　cowered　before　me　as　she　had

cowered　before　my　uncle　Sepa　when　he　rated　her　because　of　her　Grecian

garb。　And　as　she　wept　then；　so　she　wept　now；　only　more　passionately

and　with　great　sobs。



At　length　I　ceased；　half…shamed　but　still　angry　and　smarting　sorely。

For　even　while　she　wept　she　could　find　a　tongue　to　answer　withand　a

woman's　shafts　are　sharp。



〃Thou　shouldst　not　speak　to　me　thus！〃　she　sobbed；　〃it　is　cruelit　is

unmanly！　But　I　forget　thou　art　but　a　priest；　not　a　manexcept；

mayhap；　for　Cleopatra！〃



〃What　right　hast　thou？〃　I　said。　〃What　canst　thou　mean？〃



〃What　right　have　I？〃　she　asked；　looking　up；　her　dark　eyes　all　aflood

with　tears　that　ran　down　her　sweet　face　like　the　dew　of　morning　down　a

lily's　heart。　〃What　right　have　I？　O　Harmachis！　art　thou　blind？　Didst

thou　not　know　by　what　right　I　speak　thus　to　thee？　Then　I　must　tell

thee。　Well；　it　is　the　fashion　in　Alexandria！　By　that　first　and　holy

right　of　womanby　the　right　of　the　great　love　I　bear　thee；　and　which；

it　seems；　thou　hast　no　eyes　to　seeby　the　right　of　my　glory　and　my

shame。　Oh；　be　not　wroth　with　me；　Harmachis；　nor　set　me　down　as　light；

because　the　truth　at　last　has　burst　from　me；　for　I　am　not　so。　I　am

what　thou　wilt　make　me。　I　am　the　wax　within　the　moulder's　hands；　and

as　thou　dost　fashion　me　so　I　shall　be。　There　breathes　within　me　now　a

breath　of　glory；　blowing　across　the　waters　of　my　soul；　that　can　waft

me　to　ends　more　noble　than　ever　I　have　dreamed　afore；　if　thou　wilt　be

my　pilot　and　my　guide。　But　if　I　lose　thee；　then　I　lose　all　that　holds

me　from　my　worse　selfand　let　shipwreck　come！　Thou　knowest　me　not；

Harmachis！　thou　canst　not　see　how　big　a　spirit　struggles　in　this　frail

form　of　mine！　To　thee　I　am　a　girl；　clever；　wayward；　shallow。　But　I　am

more！　Show　me　thy　loftiest　thought　and　I　will　match　it；　the　deepest

puzzle　of　thy　mind　and　I　will　make　it　clear。　Of　one　blood　we　are；　and

love　can　ravel　up　our　little　difference　and　make　us　grow　one　indeed。

One　end　we　have；　one　land　we　love；　one　vow　binds　us　both。　Take　me　to

thy　heart；　Harmachis；　set　me　by　thee　on　the　Double　Throne；　and　I　swear

that　I　will　lift　thee　higher　than　ever　man　has　climbed。　Reject　me；　and

beware　lest　I　pull　thee　down！　And　now；　putting　aside　the　cold　delicacy

of　custom；　stung　to　it　by　what　I　saw　of　the　arts　of　that　lovely　living

falsehood；　Cleopatra；　which　for　pastime　she　practises　on　thy　folly；　I

have　spoken　out　my　heart；　and　answer　thou！〃　And　she　clasped　her　hands

and；　drawing　one　pace　nearer；　gazed；　all　white　and　trembling；　on　my

face。



For　a　moment　I　stood　struck　dumb；　for　the　magic　of　her　voice　and　the

power　of　her　speech；　despite　myself；　stirred　me　like　the　rush　of

music。　Had　I　loved　the　woman；　doubtless　she　might　have　fired　me　with

her　flame；　but　I　loved　her　not；　and　I　could　not　play　at　passion。　And

so　thought　came；　and　with　thought　that　laughing　mood；　which　is　ever

apt　to　fashion　upon　nerves　strained　to　the　point　of　breaking。　In　a

flash；　as　it　were；　I　bethought　me　of　the　way　in　which　she　had　that

very　night　forced　the　wreath　of　roses　on　my　head；　I　thought　of　the

kerchief　and　how　I　had　flung　it　forth。　I　thought　of　Charmion　in　the

little　chamber　watching　what　she　held　to　be　the　arts　of　Cleopatra；　and

of　her　bitter　speeches。　Lastly；　I　thought　of　what　my　uncle　Sepa　would

say　of　her　could　he　see　her　now；　and　of　the　strange　and　tangled　skein

in　which　I　was　inmeshed。　And　I　laughed　aloudthe　fool's　laughter　that

was　my　knell　of　ruin！



She　turned　whiter　yetwhite　as　the　deadand　a　look　grew　upon　her

face　that　checked　my　foolish　mirth。　〃Thou　findest；　then；　Harmachis；〃

she　said　in　a　low；　choked　voice；　and　dropping　the　level　of　her　eyes；

〃thou　findest　cause　of　merriment　in　what　I　have　said？〃



〃Nay；〃　I　answered；　〃nay；　Charmion；　forgive　me　if　I　laughed。　It　was

rather　a　laugh　of　despair；　for　what　am　I　to　say　to　thee？　Thou　hast

spoken　high　words　of　all　thou　mightest　be：　is　it　left　for　me　to　tell

thee　what　thou　art？〃



She　shrank；　and　I　paused。



〃Speak；〃　she　said。



〃Thou　knowestnone　so　well！who　I　am　and　what　my　mission　is：　thou

knowestnone　so　well！that　I　am　sworn　to　Isis；　and　may；　by　law

Divine；　have　naught　to　do　with　thee。〃



〃Ay；〃　she　broke　in；　in　her　low　voice；　and　with　her　eyes　still　fixed

upon　the　ground〃ay；　and　I　know　that　thy　vows　are　broken　in　spirit；

if　not　in　formbroken　like　wreaths　of　cloud；　for；　Harmachis/thou

lovest　Cleopatra！/〃



〃It　is　a　lie！〃　I　cried。　〃Thou　wanton　girl；　who　wouldst　seduce　me　from

my　duty　and　put　me　to　an　open　shame！who；　led　by　passion　or　ambition；

or　the　love　of　evil；　hast　not　shamed　to　break　the　barriers　of　thy　sex

and　speak　as　thou　hast　spokenbeware　lest　thou　go　too　far！　And　if

thou　wilt　have　an　answer；　here　it　is；　put　straightly；　as　thy　question。

Charmion；　outside　the　matter　of　my　duty　and　my　vows；　thou　art　/naught/

to　me！nor　for　all　thy　tender　glances　will　my　heart　beat　one　pulse

more　fast！　Hardly　art　thou　now　my　friendfor；　of　a　truth；　I　scarce

can　trust　thee。　But；　once　more：　beware！　To　me　thou　mayest　do　thy

worst；　but　if　thou　dost　dare　to　lift　a　finger　against　our　cause；　that

day　thou　diest！　And　now；　is　this　play　done？〃



And　as；　wild　with　anger；　I　spoke　thus；　she　shrank　back；　and　yet

further　back；　till　at　length　she　rested　against　the　wall；　her　eyes

covered　with　her　hand。　But　when　I　ceased　she　dropped　her　hand；

glancing　up；　and　her　face　was　as　the　face　of　a　statue；　in　which　the

great　eyes　glowed　like　embers；　and　round　them　was　a　ring　of　purple

shadow。



〃Not　altogether　done；〃　she　answered　gently；　〃the　arena　must　yet　be

sanded！〃　This　she　said　having　reference　to　the　covering　up　of　the

bloodstains　at　the　gladiatorial　shows　with　fine　sand。　〃Well；〃　she　went

on；　〃waste　not　thine　anger　on　a　thing　so　vile。　I　have　thrown　my　throw

and　I　have　lost。　/V？　victis！/ah！　/V？　victis！/　Wilt　thou　not　lend　me

the　dagger　in　thy　robe；　that　here　and　now　I　may　end　my　shame？　No？　Then

one　word　more；　most　royal　Harmachis：　if　thou　canst；　forget　my　folly；

but；　at　the　least；　have　no　fear　from　me。　I　am　now；　as　ever；　thy

servant　and　the　servant　of　our　cause。　Farewell！〃



And　she　went；　leaning　her　hand　against　the　wall。　But　I；　passing　to　my

chamber；　flung　myself　upon　my　couch；　and　groaned　in　bitterness　of

spirit。　Alas！　we　shape　our　plans；　and　by　slow　degrees　build　up　our

house　of　Hope；　never　counting　on　the　guests　that　time　shall　bring　to

lodge　therein。　For　who　can　guard　againstthe　Unforeseen？



At　length　I　slept；　and　my　dreams　were　evil。　When　I　woke　the　light　of

the　day　which　should　see　the　red　fulfilment　of　the　plot　was　streaming

through　the　casement；　and　the　birds　sang　merrily　among　the　garden

palms。　I　woke；　and　as　I　woke　the　sense　of　trouble　pressed　in　upon　me；

for　I　remembered　that　before　this　day　was　gathered　to　the　past　I　must

dip　my　hands　in　bloodyes；　in　the　blood　of　Cleopatra；　who　trusted　me！

Why　could　I　not　hate　her　as　I　should？　There　had　been　a　time　when　I

looked　on　to　this　act　of　vengeance　with　somewhat　of　a　righteous　glow

of　zeal。　And　nowand　nowwhy；　I　would　frankly　give　my　royal

birthright　to　be　free　from　its　necessity！　But；　alas！　I　knew　that　there

was　no　escape。　I