5 midnigh+sun-第39章
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She reminded him of the essay we all had due on Wednesday。 From the faintly
smug expression on her face； hers was already done。 He'd forgotten altogether； and that
severely diminished his free time。
Dang—stupid essay。
Finally he got to the point—my teeth were clenched so hard they could have
pulverized granite—and even then； he couldn't make himself ask the question outright。
〃I was going to ask if you wanted to go out。〃
〃Oh；〃 she said。
There was a brief silence。
Oh？ What does that mean？ Is she going to yes？ Wait—I guess I didn't really
ask。
He swallowed hard。
〃Well； we could go to dinner or something？and I could work on it later。〃
Stupid—that wasn't a question either。
〃Mike？〃
The agony and fury of my jealousy was every whit as powerful as it had been last
week。 I broke another tree trying to hold myself here。 I wanted so badly to race across
the campus； too fast for human eyes； and snatch her up—to steal her away from the boy
that I hated so much in this moment I could have kill him and enjoyed it。
Would she say yes to him？
〃I don't think that would be the best idea。〃
I breathed again。 My rigid body relaxed。
Seattle was just an excuse； after all。 Shouldn't have asked。 What was I thinking？
Bet it's that freak； Cullen？
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〃Why？〃 he asked sullenly。
〃I think？〃 she hesitated。 〃And if you ever repeat what I'm saying right now I
will cheerfully beat you to death—〃
I laughed out loud at the sound of a death threat coming through her lips。 A jay
shrieked； startled； and launched itself away from me。
〃But I think that would hurt Jessica's feelings。〃
〃Jessica？〃 What？ But？ Oh。 Okay。 I guess？ So？ Huh。
His thoughts were no longer coherent。
〃Really； Mike； are you blind？〃
I echoed her sentiment。 She shouldn't expect everyone to be as perceptive as she
was； but really this instance was beyond obvious。 With as much trouble as Mike had had
working himself up to ask Bella out； did he imagine it wasn't just as difficult for Jessica？
It must be selfishness that made him blind to others。 And Bella was so unselfish； she saw
everything。
Jessica。 Huh。 Wow。 Huh。 〃Oh；〃 he managed to say。
Bella used his confusion to make her exit。
〃It's time for class； and I can't be late again。〃
Mike became an unreliable viewpoint from then on。 He found； as he turned the
idea of Jessica around and around in his head； that he rather liked the thought of her
finding him attractive。 It was second place； not as good as if Bella had felt that way。
She's cute； though； I guess。 Decent body。 A bird in the hand？
He was off then； on to new fantasies that were just as vulgar as the ones about
Bella； but now they only irritated rather than infuriated。 How little he deserved either
girl； they were almost interchangeable to him。 I stayed clear of his head after that。
When she was out of sight； I curled up against the cool trunk of an enormous
madrone tree and I danced from mind to mind； keeping her in sight； always glad when
Angela Weber was available to look through。 I wished there was someway to thank the
Weber girl for simply being a nice person。 It made me feel better to think that Bella had
one friend worth having。
I watched Bella's face from whichever angle I was given； and I could see that she
was sad again。 This surprised me—I thought the sun would be enough to keep her
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smiling。 At lunch； I saw her glance time and time again toward the empty Cullen table；
and that thrilled me。 It gave me hope。 Perhaps she missed me； too。
She had plans to go out with the other girls—I automatically planned my own
surveillance—but these plans were postponed when Mike invited Jessica out on the date
he'd planned for Bella。
So I went straight to her home instead； doing a quick sweep of the woods to make
sure no one dangerous had wandered too close。 I knew Jasper had warned his one…time
brother to avoid the town—citing my insanity as both explanation and warning—but I
wasn't taking any chances。 Peter and Charlotte had no intention of causing animosity
with my family； but intentions were changeable things？
All right； I was overdoing it。 I knew that。
As if she knew I was watching； as if she took pity on the agony I felt when I
couldn't see her； Bella came out to the backyard after a long hour indoors。 She had a
book in her hand and a blanket under her arm。
Silently； I climbed into the higher branches of the closest tree overlooking the
yard。
She spread the blanket on the damp grass and then lay on her stomach and started
flipping through the worn book； as if trying to find her place。 I read over her shoulder。
Ah—more classics。 She was an Austen fan。
She read quickly； crossing and recrossing her ankles in the air。 I was watching
the sunlight and wind play in her hair when her body suddenly stiffened； and her hand
froze on the page。 All I saw was that she'd reached chapter three when she roughly
grabbed a thick section of pages and shoved them over。
I caught a glance of a title page； Mansfield Park。 She was starting a new story—
the book was a compilation of novels。 I wondered why she'd switched stories so
abruptly。
Just a few moments later； she slammed the book angrily shut。 With a fierce scowl
on her face； she pushed the book aside and flipped over onto her back。 She took a deep
breath； as if to calm herself； pushed her sleeves up and closed her eyes。 I remembered the
novel； but I couldn't think of anything offensive in it to upset her。 Another mystery。 I
sighed。
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She lay very still； moving just once to yank her hair away from her face。 It
fanned out over her head； a river of chestnut。 And then she was motionless again。
Her breathing slowed。 After several long minutes her lips began to tremble。
Mumbling in her sleep。
Impossible to resist。 I listened as far out as I could； catching voices in the houses
nearby。
Two tablespoons of flour？one cup of milk？
C'mon！ Get it through the hoop！ Aw； c'mon！
Red； or blue？or maybe I should wear something more casual？
There was no one close by。 I jumped to the ground； landing silently on my toes。
This was very wrong； very risky。 How condescendingly I'd once judged Emmett
for his thoughtless ways and Jasper for his lack of discipline—and now I was consciously
flouting all the rules with a wild abandon that made their lapses look like nothing at all。 I
used to be the responsible one。
I sighed； but crept out into the sunshine； regardless。
I avoided looking at myself in the sun's glare。 It was bad enough that my skin
was stone and inhuman in shadow； I didn't want to look at Bella and myself side by side
in the sunlight。 The difference between us was already insurmountable； painful enough
without this image also in my head。
But I couldn't ignore the rainbow sparkles that reflected onto her skin when I got
closer。 My jaw locked at the sight。 Could I be any more of a freak？ I imagined her
terror if she opened her eyes now？
I started to retreat； but she mumbled again； holding me there。
〃Mmm？ Mmm。〃
Nothing intelligible。 Well； I would wait for a bit。
I carefully stole her book； stretching my arm out and holding my breath while I
was close； just in case。 I started breathing again when I was a few yards away； tasting the
way the sunshine and open air affected her scent。 The heat seemed to sweeten the smell。
My throat flamed with desire； the fire fresh and fierce again because I had been away
from her for too long。
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I spent a moment controlling that； and then—forcing myself to breathe through
my nose—I let her book fall open in my hands。 She'd started with the first book？ I
flipped through the pages quickly to the third chapter of Sense and Sensibility； searching
for something potentially offensive in Austen's overly polite prose。
When my eyes stopped automatically at my name—the character Edward Ferrars
being introduced for the first time—Bella spoke again。
〃Mmm。 Edward。〃 She sighed。
This time I did not fear that she ha
