5 midnigh+sun-第59章
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？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
239
She wasn't used to compliments； I could see that。 Another thing she would just
have to get used to。 She flushed； and changed the subject。 〃But I'm not saying
goodbye。〃
〃Don't you see？ That's what proves me right。 I care the most； because if I can do
it？〃 Would I ever be unselfish enough to do the right thing？ I shook my head in
despair。 I would have to find the strength。 She deserved a life。 Not what Alice had seen
coming for her。 〃If leaving is the right thing to do？〃 And it had to be the right thing；
didn't it？ There was no reckless angel。 Bella didn't belong with me。 〃Then I'll hurt
myself to keep from hurting you； to keep you safe。〃
As I said the words； I willed them to be true。
She glared at me。 Somehow； my words had angered her。 〃And you don't think I
would do the same？〃 she demanded furiously。
So furious—so soft and so fragile。 How could she ever hurt anyone？ 〃You'd
never have to make the choice；〃 I told her； depressed anew by the wide difference
between us。
She stared at me； concern replacing the anger in her eyes and bringing out the
little pucker between them。
There was something truly wrong with the order of the universe if someone so
good and so breakable did not merit a guardian angel to keep her out of trouble。
Well； I thought with dark humor； at least she has a guardian vampire。
I smiled。 How I loved my excuse to stay。 〃Of course； keeping you safe is
beginning to feel like a full…time occupation that requires my constant presence。〃
She smiled； too。 〃No one has tried to do away with me today；〃 she said lightly；
and then her face turned speculative for half a second before her eyes went opaque again。
〃Yet；〃 I added dryly。
〃Yet；〃 she agreed to my surprise。 I'd expected her to deny any need for
protection。
How could he？ That selfish jackass！ How could he do this to us？ Rosalie's
piercing mental shriek broke through my concentration。
〃Easy； Rose；〃 I heard Emmett whisper from across the cafeteria。 His arm was
around her shoulders； holding her tight into his side—restraining her。
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
240
Sorry； Edward； Alice thought guiltily。 She could tell Bella knew too much from
your conversation？and； well； it would have been worse if I hadn't told her the truth right
away。 Trust me on that。
I winced at the mental picture that followed； at what would have happened if I'd
told Rosalie that Bella knew I was a vampire at home； where Rosalie didn't have a fa？ade
to keep up。 I'd have to hide my Aston Martin somewhere out of state if she didn't calm
down by the time school was over。 The sight of my favorite car； mangled and burning；
was upsetting—though I knew I'd earned the retribution。
Jasper was not much happier。
I'd deal with the others later。 I only had so much time allotted to be to be with
Bella； and I wasn't going to waste it。 And hearing Alice had reminded me that I had
some business to attend to。
〃I have another question for you；〃 I said； tuning out Rosalie's mental hysterics。
〃Shoot；〃 Bella said； smiling。
〃Do you really need to go to Seattle this Saturday； or was that just an excuse to
get out of saying no to all your admirers？〃
She grimaced at me。 〃You know； I haven't forgiven you for the Tyler thing yet。
It's your fault that he's deluded himself into thinking I'm going to prom with him。〃
〃Oh； he would have found a chance to ask you without me—I just really wanted
to watch your face。〃
I laughed now； remembering her aghast expression。 Nothing I'd ever told her
about my own dark story had ever made her look so horrified。 The truth didn't frighten
her。 She wanted to be with me。 Mind…boggling。
〃If I'd asked you； would you have turned me down？〃
〃Probably not；〃 she said。 〃But I would have cancelled later—faked an illness or a
sprained ankle。〃
How strange。 〃Why would you do that？〃
She shook her head； as if she was disappointed that I did not understand at once。
〃You've never seen me in gym； I guess； but I would have thought that you would
understand。〃
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
241
Ah。 〃Are you referring to the fact that you can't walk across a flat； stable surface
without finding something to trip over？〃
〃Obviously。〃
〃That wouldn't be a problem。 It's all in the leading。〃
For a brief fraction of a second； I was overwhelmed by the idea of holding her in
my arms at a dance—where she would surely wear something pretty and delicate rather
than this hideous sweater。
With perfect clarity； I remembered how her body had felt under mine after I'd
thrown her out of the way of the oncoming van。 Stronger than the panic or the
desperation or the chagrin； I could remember that sensation。 She'd been so warm and so
soft； fitting easily into my own stone shape？
I wrenched myself back from the memory。
〃But you never told me—〃 I said quickly； preventing her from arguing with me
about her clumsiness； as she clearly intended to do。 〃Are you resolved on going to
Seattle； or do you mind if we do something different？〃
Devious—giving her a choice without giving her the option of getting away from
me for the day。 Hardly fair of me。 But I had made her a promise last night？and I liked
the idea of fulfilling it—almost as much as that idea terrified me。
The sun would be shining Saturday。 I could show her the real me； if I was brave
enough to endure her horror and disgust。 I knew just the place to take such a risk？
〃I'm open to alternatives；〃 Bella said。 〃But I do have a favor to ask。〃
A qualified yes。 What would she want from me？
〃What？〃
〃Can I drive？〃
Was this her idea of humor？ 〃Why？〃
〃Well； mostly because when I told Charlie I was going to Seattle； he specifically
asked if I was going alone and； at the time； I was。 If he asked again； I probably wouldn't
lie； but I don't think he will ask again； and leaving my truck at home would just bring up
the subject unnecessarily。 And also； because your driving frightens me。〃
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
242
I rolled my eyes at her。 〃Of all the things about me that could frighten you； you
worry about my driving。〃 Truly； her brain worked backwards。 I shook my head；
disgusted。
Edward； Alice called urgently。
Suddenly I was staring into a bright circle of sunlight； caught up in one of Alice's
visions。
It was a place I knew well； the place I'd just considered taking Bella—a little
meadow where no one ever went beside myself。 A quiet； pretty place where I could
count on being alone—far enough from any trail or human habitation that even my mind
could have peace and quiet。
Alice recognized it； too； because she had seen me there not so long ago in another
vision—one of those flickering； indistinct visions that Alice had shown me the morning
I'd saved Bella from the van。
In that flickering vision； I hadn't been alone。 And now it was clear—Bella was
with me there。 So I was brave enough。 She stared at me； rainbows dancing across her
face； her eyes fathomless。
It's the same place； Alice thought； her mind full of a horror that did not match the
vision。 Tension； perhaps； but horror？ What did she mean； the same place？
And then I saw it。
Edward！ Alice protested shrilly。 I love her； Edward！
I shut her out viciously。
She didn't love Bella the way I did。 Her vision was impossible。 Wrong。 She was
blinded somehow； seeing impossibilities。
Not even a half a second had passed。 Bella was looking curiously at my face；
waiting for me to approve her request。 Had she seen the flash of dread； or had it been too
quick for her？
I focused on her； on our unfinished conversation； pushing Alice and her flawed；
lying visions far from my thoughts。 They didn't deserve my attention。
I wasn't able to keep up the playful tone of our banter； though。
〃Won't you want to tell your father that you're spending the day with me？〃 I
asked； darkness seeping into my voice。
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
243
I shoved at the visions again； trying to push them farther away； to keep them from
flickering through my head。
〃With Charlie； less is always more；〃 Bella said； certain of this fact。 〃
