5 midnigh+sun-第61章
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
deceitful； meaningless visions out of my head。
We passed Angela Weber； lingering on the sidewalk； discussing an assignment
with a boy from her Trigonometry class。 I scanned her thoughts perfunctorily； expecting
more disappointment； only to be surprised by their wistful tenor。
Ah； so there was something Angela wanted。 Unfortunately； it wasn't something
that could be easily gift…wrapped。
I felt strangely comforted for a moment； hearing Angela's hopeless yearning。 A
sense of kinship that Angela would never know about passed through me； and I was； in
that second； at one with the kind human girl。
It was oddly consoling to know that I wasn't the only one living out a tragic love
story。 Heartbreak was everywhere。
In the next second； I was abruptly and thoroughly irritated。 Because Angela's
story didn't have to be tragic。 She was human and he was human and the difference that
seemed so insurmountable in her head was ridiculous； truly ridiculous compared to my
own situation。 There was no point in her broken heart。 What a wasteful sadness； when
there was no valid reason for her not to be with the one she wanted。 Why shouldn't she
have what she wanted？ Why shouldn't this one story have a happy ending？
I wanted to give her a gift？ Well； I would give her what she wanted。 Knowing
what I did of human nature； it probably wouldn't even be very difficult。 I sifted through
the consciousness of the boy beside her； the object of her affections； and he did not seem
unwilling； he was just stymied by the same difficulty she was。 Hopeless and resigned；
the way she was。
All I would have to do was plant the suggestion？
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
249
The plan formed easily； the script wrote itself without effort on my part。 I would
need Emmett's help—getting him to go along with this was the only real difficulty。
Human nature was so much easier to manipulate than vampire nature。
I was pleased with my solution； with my gift for Angela。 It was a nice diversion
from my own problems。 Would that mine were as easily fixed。
My mood was slightly improved as Bella and I took our seats。 Maybe I should be
more positive。 Maybe there was some solution out there for us that was escaping me； the
way Angela's obvious solution was so invisible to her。 Not likely？ But why waste time
with hopelessness？ I didn't have time to waste when it came to Bella。 Each second
mattered。
Mr。 Banner entered pulling an ancient TV and VCR。 He was skipping through a
section he wasn't particularly interested in—genetic disorders—by showing a movie for
the next three days。 Lorenzo's Oil was not a very cheerful piece； but that didn't stop the
excitement in the room。 No notes； no test…able material。 Three free days。 The humans
exulted。
It didn't matter to me； either way。 I hadn't been planning on paying any attention
to anything but Bella。
I did not pull my chair away from hers today； to give myself space to breathe。
Instead； I sat close beside her like any normal human would。 Closer than we sat inside
my car； close enough that the left side of my body felt submerged in the heat from her
skin。
It was a strange experience； both enjoyable and nerve…racking； but I preferred this
to sitting across the table from her。 It was more than I was used to； and yet I quickly
realized that it was not enough。 I was not satisfied。 Being this close to her only made me
want to be closer still。 The pull was stronger the closer I got。
I had accused her of being a magnet for danger。 Right now； it felt like that was
the literal truth。 I was danger； and； with every inch I allowed myself nearer to her； her
attraction grew in force。
And then Mr。 Banner turned the lights out。
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
250
It was odd how much of a difference this made； considering that the lack of light
meant little to my eyes。 I could still see just as perfectly as before。 Every detail of the
room was clear。
So why the sudden shock of electricity in the air； in this dark that was not dark to
me？ Was it because I knew that I was the only one who could see clearly？ That both
Bella and I were invisible to the others？ Like we were alone； just the two of us； hidden in
the dark room； sitting so close beside one another？
My hand moved toward her without my permission。 Just to touch her hand； to
hold it in the darkness。 Would that be such a horrific mistake？ If my skin bothered her；
she only had to pull away？
I yanked my hand back； folded my arms tightly across my chest and clenched my
hands closed。 No mistakes。 I'd promised myself that I would make no mistakes； no
matter how minimal they seemed。 If I held her hand； I would only want more—another
insignificant touch； another move closer to her。 I could feel that。 A new kind of desire
was growing in me； working to override my self…control。
No mistakes。
Bella folded her arms securely across her own chest； and her hands balled up into
fists； just like mine。
What are you thinking？ I was dying to whisper the words to her； but the room
was too quiet to get away with even a whispered conversation。
The movie began； lightening the darkness just a bit。 Bella glanced up at me。 She
noted the rigid way I held my body—just like hers—and smiled。 Her lips parted slightly；
and her eyes seemed full of warm invitations。
Or perhaps I was seeing what I wanted to see。
I smiled back； her breathing caught with a low gasp and she looked quickly away。
That made it worse。 I didn't know her thoughts； but I was suddenly positive that I
had been right before； and that she wanted me to touch her。 She felt this dangerous desire
just as I did。
Between her body and mine； the electricity hummed。
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
251
She didn't move all through the hour； holding her stiff； controlled pose as I held
mine。 Occasionally she would peek at me again； and the humming current would jolt
through me with a sudden shock。
The hour passed—slowly； and yet not slowly enough。 This was so new； I could
have sat like this with her for days； just to experience the feeling fully。
I had a dozen different arguments with myself while the minutes passed；
rationality struggling with desire as I tried to justify touching her。
Finally； Mr。 Banner turned the lights on again。
In the bright fluorescent light； the atmosphere of the room returned to normal。
Bella sighed and stretched； flexing her fingers in front of her。 It must have been
uncomfortable for her to hold that position for so long。 It was easier for me—stillness
came naturally。
I chuckled at the relieved expression on her face。 〃Well； that was interesting。〃
〃Umm；〃 she murmured； clearly understanding what I referred to； but making no
comment。 What I wouldn't give to hear what she was thinking right now。
I sighed。 No amount of wishing was going to help with that。
〃Shall we？〃 I asked； standing。
She made a face and got unsteadily to her feet； her hands splayed out as if she
were afraid she was going to fall。
I could offer her my hand。 Or I could place that hand underneath her elbow—just
lightly—and steady her。 Surely that wouldn't be such a horrible infraction？
No mistakes。
She was very quiet as we walked toward the gym。 The crease was in evidence
between her eyes； a sign that she was deep in thought。 I； too； was thinking deeply。
One touch of her skin wouldn't hurt her； my selfish side contended。
I could easily moderate the pressure of my hand。 It wasn't exactly difficult； as
long as I was firmly in control of myself。 My tactile sense was better developed than a
human's； I could juggle a dozen crystal goblets without breaking any of them； I could
stroke a soap bubble without popping it。 As long as I was firmly in control？
Bella was like a soap bubble—fragile and ephemeral。 Temporary。
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
252
How long would I be able to justify my presence in her life？ How much time did
I have？ Would I have another chance like this chance； like this moment； like this second？
She would not always be within my arm's reach？
Bella turned to face me at the gym's door； and her
