beasts and super-beasts(野兽与超级野兽)-第51章
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
〃What did we send them？〃 asked Egbert gloomily。
〃Bridge…markers；〃 said Janetta； 〃in a cardboard case； with some
inanity about 'digging for fortune with a royal spade' emblazoned on the
cover。 The moment I saw it in the shop I said to myself 'Froplinsons'
and to the attendant 'How much？' When he said 'Ninepence；' I gave
him their address； jabbed our card in； paid tenpence or elevenpence to
cover the postage； and thanked heaven。 With less sincerity and
infinitely more trouble they eventually thanked me。〃
〃The Froplinsons don't play bridge；〃 said Egbert。
〃One is not supposed to notice social deformities of that sort；〃 said
Janetta； 〃it wouldn't be polite。 Besides； what trouble did they take to
find out whether we read Wordsworth with gladness？ For all they
knew or cared we might be frantically embedded in the belief that all
poetry begins and ends with John Masefield； and it might infuriate or
depress us to have a daily sample of Wordsworthian products flung at
us。〃
〃Well； let's get on with the letter of thanks；〃 said Egbert。
〃Proceed；〃 said Janetta。
〃 'How clever of you to guess that Wordsworth is our favourite poet；'
〃 dictated Egbert。
Again Janetta laid down her pen。
〃Do you realise what that means？〃 she asked； 〃a Wordsworth booklet
next Christmas； and another calendar the Christmas after； with the same
problem of having to write suitable letters of thankfulness。 No； the best
thing to do is to drop all further allusion to the calendar and switch off
on to some other topic。〃
〃But what other topic？〃
〃Oh； something like this： 'What do you think of the New Year
Honours List？ A friend of ours made such a clever remark when he
156
… Page 157…
BEASTS AND SUPER…BEASTS
read it。' Then you can stick in any remark that comes into your head； it
needn't be clever。 The Froplinsons won't know whether it is or isn't。〃
〃We don't even know on which side they are in politics；〃 objected
Egbert； 〃and anyhow you can't suddenly dismiss the subject of the
calendar。 Surely there must be some intelligent remark that can be
made about it。〃
〃Well； we can't think of one；〃 said Janetta wearily； 〃the fact is； we've
both written ourselves out。 Heavens！ I've just remembered Mrs。
Stephen Ludberry。 I haven't thanked her for what she sent。〃
〃What did she send？〃
〃I forget； I think it was a calendar。〃
There was a long silence； the forlorn silence of those who are bereft
of hope and have almost ceased to care。
Presently Egbert started from his seat with an air of resolution。 The
light of battle was in his eyes。
〃Let me come to the writing…table；〃 he exclaimed。
〃Gladly；〃 said Janetta。 〃Are you going to write to Mrs。 Ludberry or
the Froplinsons？〃
〃To neither；〃 said Egbert； drawing a stack of notepaper towards him；
〃I'm going to write to the editor of every enlightened and influential
newspaper in the Kingdom； I'm going to suggest that there should be a
sort of epistolary Truce of God during the festivities of Christmas and
New Year。 From the twenty…fourth of December to the third or fourth
of January it shall be considered an offence against good sense and good
feeling to write or expect any letter or communication that does not
deal with the necessary events of the moment。 Answers to invitations；
arrangements about trains； renewal of club subscriptions； and； of course；
all the ordinary everyday affairs of business； sickness； engaging new
cooks； and so forth； these will be dealt with in the usual manner as
something inevitable； a legitimate part of our daily life。 But all the
devastating accretions of correspondence； incident to the festive season；
these should be swept away to give the season a chance of being really
festive； a time of untroubled； unpunctuated peace and good will。〃
〃But you would have to make some acknowledgment of presents
157
… Page 158…
BEASTS AND SUPER…BEASTS
received；〃 objected Janetta； 〃otherwise people would never know
whether they had arrived safely。〃
〃Of course； I have thought of that；〃 said Egbert； 〃every present that
was sent off would be accompanied by a ticket bearing the date of
dispatch and the signature of the sender； and some conventional
hieroglyphic to show that it was intended to be a Christmas or New Year
gift； there would be a counterfoil with space for the recipient's name
and the date of arrival； and all you would have to do would be to sign
and date the counterfoil； add a conventional hieroglyphic indicating
heartfelt thanks and gratified surprise； put the thing into an envelope and
post it。〃
〃It sounds delightfully simple；〃 said Janetta wistfully； 〃but people
would consider it too cut…and… dried； too perfunctory。〃
〃It is not a bit more perfunctory than the present system；〃 said Egbert；
〃I have only the same conventional language of gratitude at my disposal
with which to thank dear old Colonel Chuttle for his perfectly delicious
Stilton； which we shall devour to the last morsel； and the Froplinsons for
their calendar； which we shall never look at。 Colonel Chuttle knows
that we are grateful for the Stilton； without having to be told so； and the
Froplinsons know that we are bored with their calendar； whatever we
may say to the contrary； just as we know that they are bored with the
bridge…markers in spite of their written assurance that they thanked us
for our charming little gift。 What is more； the Colonel knows that even
if we had taken a sudden aversion to Stilton or been forbidden it by the
doctor； we should still have written a letter of hearty thanks around it。
So you see the present system of acknowledgment is just as perfunctory
and conventional as the counterfoil business would be； only ten times
more tiresome and brain…racking。〃
〃Your plan would certainly bring the ideal of a Happy Christmas a
step nearer realisation；〃 said Janetta。
〃There are exceptions； of course；〃 said Egbert； 〃people who really
try to infuse a breath of reality into their letters of acknowledgment。
Aunt Susan； for instance； who writes： 'Thank you very much for the ham；
not such a good flavour as the one you sent last year； which itself was
158
… Page 159…
BEASTS AND SUPER…BEASTS
not a particularly good one。 Hams a
