the story of an african farm-第46章

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〃It　is　a　long　while　since　I　last　wrote　to　you；　but　I　have　had　no　time。　

This　is　the　first　morning　I　have　been　at　home　since　I　don't　know　when。　　Em

always　expects　me　to　go　down　to　the　farmhouse　in　the　morning；　but　I　didn't

feel　as　though　I　could　stand　the　ride　today。



〃I　have　much　news　for　you。



〃Tant　Sannie；　Em's　Boer　stepmother；　is　to　be　married　tomorrow。　　She　is　gone

to　town　today；　and　the　wedding　feast　is　to　be　at　her　brother's　farm。　　Em

and　I　are　going　to　ride　over　on　horseback；　but　her　cousin　is　going　to　ride

in　the　buggy　with　that　German。　　I　don't　think　I've　written　to　you　since　she

came　back　from　school。　　I　don't　think　you　would　like　her　at　all；　Jemima；

there's　something　so　proud　about　her。　　She　thinks　just　because　she's

handsome　there's　nobody　good　enough　to　talk　to　her；　and　just　as　if　there

had　nobody　else　but　her　been　to　boarding…school　before。



〃They　are　going　to　have　a　grand　affair　tomorrow；　all　the　Boers　about　are

coming；　and　they　are　going　to　dance　all　night；　but　I　don't　think　I　shall

dance　at　all；　for；　as　Em's　cousin　says；　these　Boer　dances　are　low　things。　

I　am　sure　I　only　danced　at　the　last　to　please　Em。　　I　don't　know　why　she　is

fond　of　dancing。　　Em　talked　of　our　being　married　on　the　same　day　as　Tant

Sannie；　but　I　said　it　would　be　nicer　for　her　if　she　waited　till　the

shearing　was　over；　and　I　took　her　down　to　see　you。　　I　suppose　she　will　have

to　live　with　us　（Em's　cousin；　I　mean）；　as　she　has　not　anything　in　the　world

but　a　poor　fifty　pounds。　　I　don't　like　her　at　all；　Jemima；　and　I　don't

think　you　would。　　She's　got　such　queer　ways；　she's　always　driving　about　in

a　gig　with　that　low　German；　and　I　don't　think　it's　at　all　the　thing　for　a

woman　to　be　going　about　with　a　man　she's　not　engaged　to。　　Do　you？　　If　it

was　me　now；　of　course；　who　am　a　kind　of　connection；　it　would　be　different。

The　way　she　treats　me；　considering　that　I　am　so　soon　to　be　her　cousin；　is

not　at　all　nice。　　I　took　down　my　album　the　other　day　with　your　likenesses

in　it；　and　I　told　her　she　could　look　at　it；　and　put　it　down　close　to　her；

but　she　just　said；　Thank　you；　and　never　even　touched　it；　as　much　as　to　say…

…What　are　your　relations　to　me？



〃She　gets　the　wildest　horses　in　that　buggy；　and　a　horrid　snappish　little

cur　belonging　to　the　German　sitting　in　front；　and　then　she　drives　out

alone。　　I　don't　think　it's　at　all　proper　for　a　woman　to　drive　out　alone；　I

wouldn't　allow　it　if　she　was　my　sister。　　The　other　morning；　I　don't　know

how　it　happened；　I　was　going　in　the　way　from　which　she　was　coming；　and　that

little　beastthey　call　him　Dossbegan　to　bark　when　he　saw　mehe　always

does；　the　little　wretchand　the　horses　began　to　spring；　and　kicked　the

splashboard　all　to　pieces。　　It　was　a　sight　to　see　Jemima！　　She　has　got　the

littlest　hands　I　ever　sawI　could　hold　them　both　in　one　of　mine；　and　not

know　that　I'd　got　anything　except　that　they　were　so　soft；　but　she　held

those　horses　in　as　though　they　were　made　of　iron。　　When　I　wanted　to　help

her　she　said；　'No　thank　you：　　I　can　manage　them　myself。　　I've　got　a　pair　of

bits　that　would　break　their　jaws　if　I　used　them　well；'　and　she　laughed　and

drove　away。　　It's　so　unwomanly。



〃Tell　father　my　hire　of　the　ground　will　not　be　out　for　six　months；　and

before　that　Em　and　I　will　be　married。　　My　pair　of　birds　is　breeding　now；

but　I　haven't　been　down　to　see　them　for　three　days。　　I　don't　seem　to　care

about　anything　any　more。　　I　don't　know　what　it　is；　I'm　not　well。　　If　I　go

into　town　on　Saturday　I　will　let　the　doctor　examine　me；　but　perhaps　she'll

go　in　herself。　　It's　a　very　strange　thing；　Jemima；　but　she　never　will　send

her　letters　to　post　by　me。　　If　I　ask　her　she　has　none；　and　the　very　next

day　she　goes　in　and　posts　them　herself。　　You　mustn't　say　anything　about　it；

Jemima；　but　twice　I've　brought　her　letters　from　the　post　in　a　gentleman's

hand；　and　I'm　sure　they　were　both　from　the　same　person；　because　I　noticed

every　little　mark；　even　the　dotting　of　the　i's。



〃Of　course　it's　nothing　to　me；　but　for　Em's　sake　I　can't　help　feeling　an

interest　in　her；　however　much　I　may　dislike　her　myself；　and　I　hope　she's　up

to　nothing。　　I　pity　the　man　who　marries　her；　I　wouldn't　be　him　for

anything。　　If　I　had　a　wife　with　pride　I'd　make　her　give　it　up；　sharp。　　I

don't　believe　in　a　man　who　can't　make　a　woman　obey　him。　　Now　EmI'm　very

fond　of　her；　as　you　knowbut　if　I　tell　her　to　put　on　a　certain　dress；　that

dress　she　puts　on；　and　if　I　tell　her　to　sit　on　a　certain　seat；　on　that　seat

she　sits；　and　if　I　tell　her　not　to　speak　to　a　certain　individual；　she　does

not　speak　to　them。　　If　a　man　lets　a　woman　do　what　he　doesn't　like　he's　a

muff。



〃Give　my　love　to　mother　and　the　children。　　The　veld　here　is　looking　pretty

good；　and　the　sheep　are　better　since　we　washed　them。　　Tell　father　the　dip

he　recommended　is　very　good。



〃Em　sends　her　love　to　you。　　She　is　making　me　some　woollen　shirts；　but　they

don't　fit　me　so　nicely　as　those　mother　made　me。



〃Write　soon　to



〃Your　loving　brother；　　Gregory。



〃P。S。She　drove　past　just　now；　I　was　sitting　on　the　kraal　wall　right

before　her　eyes；　and　she　never　even　bowed。　　G。N。R。〃





Chapter　2。VI。　　A　Boer…wedding。



〃I　didn't　know　before　you　were　so　fond　of　riding　hard；〃　said　Gregory　to　his

little　betrothed。



They　were　cantering　slowly　on　the　road　to　Oom　Muller's　on　the　morning　of

the　wedding。



〃Do　you　call　this　riding　hard？〃　asked　Em　in　some　astonishment。



〃Of　course　I　do！　　It's　enough　to　break　the　horses'　necks；　and　knock　one　up

for　the　whole　day　besides；〃　he　added　testily；　then　twisted　his　head　to　look

at　the　buggy　that　came　on　behind。　　〃I　thought　Waldo　was　such　a　mad　driver；

they　are　taking　it　easily　enough　today；〃　said　Gregory。　　〃One　would　think

the　black　stallions　were　lame。〃



〃I　suppose　they　want　to　keep　out　of　our　dust；〃　said　Em。　　〃See；　they　stand

still　as　soon　as　we　do。〃



Perceiving　this　to　be　the　case；　Gregory　rode　on。



〃It's　all　that　horse　of　yours：　　she　kicks　up　such　a　confounded　dust；　I

can't　stand　it　myself；〃　he　said。



Meanwhile　the　cart　came　on　slowly　enough。



〃Take　the　reins；〃　said　Lyndall；　and　〃and　make　them　walk。　　I　want　to　rest

and　watch　their　hoofs　todaynot　to　be　exhilarated；　I　am　so　tired。〃



She　leaned　back　in　her　corner；　and　Waldo　drove　on　slowly　in　the　grey　dawn

light　along　the　level　road。　　They　passed　the　very　milk…bush　behind　which　so

many　years　before　the　old　German　had　found　the　Kaffer　woman。　　But　their

thoughts　were　not　with　him　that　morning：　　they　were　the　thoughts　of　the

young；　that　run　out　to　meet　the　future；　and　labour　in　the　present。　　At　last

he　touched　her　arm。



〃What　is　it？〃



〃I　feared　you　had　gone　to　sleep　and　might　be　jolted　out；〃　he　said；　〃you　sat

so　quietly。〃



〃No；　do　not　talk　to　me；　I　am　not　asleep；〃　but　after　a　time　she　said

suddenly：　　〃It　must　be　a　terrible　thing　to　bring　a　human　being　into　the

world。〃



Waldo　looked　round；　she　sat　drawn　into　the　corner；　her　blue　cloud　wound

tightly　about　her；　and　she　still　watched　the　horses'　feet。　　Having　no

comment　to　offer　on　her　somewhat　unexpected　remark；　he　merely　touched　up

his　horses。



〃I　have　no　conscience；　none；〃　she　added；　〃but　I　would　not　like　to　bring　a

soul　into　this　world。　　When　it　sinned　and　when　it　suffered　something　like　a

dead　hand　would　fall　on　me'You　did　it；　you；　for　your　own　pleasure　you

created　this　thing！　　See　your　work！'　　If　it　lived　to　be　eighty　it　would

always　hang　like　a　millstone　round　my　neck；　have　the　right　to　demand　good

from　me；　and　curse　me　for　its　sorrow。　　A　parent　is　only　like　to　Godif　his

work　turns　out　bad；　so　much　the　worse　for　him；　he　dare　not　wash　his　hands

of　it。　　Time　and　years　can　never　bring　the　day　when　you　can　say　to　your

child：　　'Soul；　what　have　I　to　do　with　you？'〃



Waldo　said　dreamingly：



〃It　is　a　marvellous　thing　that　one　soul　should　have　power　to　cause

another。〃



She　heard　the　words　as　she　heard　the　beating　of　the　horses'　hoofs；　her

thoughts　ran　on　in　their　own　line。