robert falconer-第130章

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into　the　darkness　below。　　He　took　her　in　his　arms；　lifted　her　down

upon　the　bridge；　and　stood　as　if　protecting　her　from　a　pursuing

death。　　I　had　managed　to　find　an　easier　mode　of　descent；　and　now

stood　a　little　way　from　them。



'Poor　girl！　poor　girl！'　he　said；　as　if　to　himself：　'was　this　the

only　way　left？'



Then　he　spoke　tenderly　to　her。　　What　he　said　I　could　not　hearI

only　heard　the　tone。



'O　sir！'　she　cried；　in　piteous　entreaty；　'do　let　me　go。　　Why　should

a　wretched　creature　like　me　be　forced　to　live？　　It's　no　good　to　you；

sir。　　Do　let　me　go。'



'Come　here；'　he　said；　drawing　her　close　to　the　fence。　'Stand　up

again　on　the　beam。　　Look　down。'



She　obeyed；　in　a　mechanical　kind　of　way。　　But　as　he　talked；　and　she

kept　looking　down　on　the　dark　mystery　beneath；　flowing　past　with

every　now　and　then　a　dull　vengeful　glittercontinuous；　forceful；

slow；　he　felt　her　shudder　in　his　still　clasping　arm。



'Look；'　he　said；　'how　it　crawls　alongblack　and　slimy！　how　silent

and　yet　how　fierce！　　Is　that　a　nice　place　to　go　to　down　there？

Would　there　be　any　rest　there；　do　you　think；　tumbled　about　among

filth　and　creeping　things；　and　slugs　that　feed　on　the　dead；　among

drowned　women　like　yourself　drifting　by；　and　murdered　men；　and

strangled　babies？　　Is　that　the　door　by　which　you　would　like　to　go

out　of　the　world？'



'It's　no　worse；'　she　faltered；　'not　so　bad　as　what　I　should　leave

behind。'



'If　this　were　the　only　way　out　of　it；　I　would　not　keep　you　from　it。

I　would　say；　〃Poor　thing！　there　is　no　help：　she　must　go。〃　　But

there　is　another　way。'



'There　is　no　other　way；　sirif　you　knew　all；'　she　said。



'Tell　me；　then。'



'I　cannot。　　I　dare　not。　　PleaseI　would　rather　go。'



She　looked；　from　the　mere　glimpses　I　could　get　of　her；　somewhere

about　five…and…twenty；　making　due　allowance　for　the　wear　of

suffering　so　evident　even　in　those　glimpses。　　I　think　she　might　have

been　beautiful　if　the　waste　of　her　history　could　have　been　restored。

That　she　had　had　at　least　some　advantages　of　education；　was　evident

from　both　her　tone　and　her　speech。　　But　oh；　the　wild　eyes；　and　the

tortured　lips；　drawn　back　from　the　teeth　with　an　agony　of

hopelessness；　as　she　struggled　anew；　perhaps　mistrusting　them；　to

escape　from　the　great　arms　that　held　her！



'But　the　river　cannot　drown　you；'　Falconer　said。　'It　can　only　stop

your　breath。　　It　cannot　stop　your　thinking。　　You　will　go　on

thinking；　thinking；　all　the　same。　　Drowning　people　remember　in　a

moment　all　their　past　lives。　　All　their　evil　deeds　come　up　before

them；　as　if　they　were　doing　them　all　over　again。　　So　they　plunge

back　into　the　past　and　all　its　misery。　　While　their　bodies　are

drowning；　their　souls　are　coming　more　and　more　awake。'



'That　is　dreadful；'　she　murmured；　with　her　great　eyes　fixed　on　his；

and　growing　steadier　in　their　regard。　　She　had　ceased　to　struggle；

so　he　had　slackened　his　hold　of　her；　and　she　was　leaning　back

against　the　fence。



'And　then；'　he　went　on；　'what　if；　instead　of　closing　your　eyes；　as

you　expected；　and　going　to　sleep；　and　forgetting　everything；　you

should　find　them　come　open　all　at　once；　in　the　midst　of　a　multitude

of　eyes　all　round　about　you；　all　looking　at　you；　all　thinking　about

you；　all　judging　you？　　What　if　you　should　hear；　not　a　tumult　of

voices　and　noises；　from　which　you　could　hope　to　hide；　but　a　solemn

company　talking　about　youevery　word　clear　and　plain；　piercing　your

heart　with　what　you　could　not　deny；and　you　standing　naked　and

shivering　in　the　midst　of　them？'



'It　is　too　dreadful！'　she　cried；　making　a　movement　as　if　the　very

horror　of　the　idea　had　a　fascination　to　draw　her　towards　the

realization　of　it。　'But；'　she　added；　yielding　to　Falconer's　renewed

grasp；　'they　wouldn't　be　so　hard　upon　me　there。　　They　would　not　be

so　cruel　as　men　are　here。'



'Surely　not。　　But　all　men　are　not　cruel。　　I　am　not　cruel；'　he　added；

forgetting　himself　for　a　moment；　and　caressing　with　his　huge　hand

the　wild　pale　face　that　glimmered　upon　him　as　it　were　out　of　the

infinite　nightall　but　swallowed　up　in　it。



She　drew　herself　back；　and　Falconer；　instantly　removing　his　hand；

said；



'Look　in　my　face；　child；　and　see　whether　you　cannot　trust　me。'



As　he　uttered　the　words；　he　took　off　his　hat；　and　stood　bare…headed

in　the　moon；　which　now　broke　out　clear　from　the　clouds。　　She　did

look　at　him。　　His　hair　blew　about　his　face。　　He　turned　it　towards

the　wind　and　the　moon；　and　away　from　her；　that　she　might　be

undisturbed　in　her　scrutiny。　　But　how　she　judged　of　him；　I　cannot

tell；　for　the　next　moment　he　called　out　in　a　tone　of　repressed

excitement；



'Gordon；　Gordon；　look　thereabove　your　head；　on　the　other　bridge。'



I　looked　and　saw　a　gray　head　peering　over　the　same　gap　through　which

Falconer　had　looked　a　few　minutes　before。　　I　knew　something　of　his

personal　quest　by　this　time；　and　concluded　at　once　that　he　thought

it　was　or　might　be　his　father。



'I　cannot　leave　the　poor　thingI　dare　not；'　he　said。



I　understood　him；　and　darted　off　at　full　speed　for　the　Surrey　end　of

the　bridge。　　What　made　me　choose　that　end；　I　do　not　know；　but　I　was

right。



I　had　some　reason　to　fear　that　I　might　be　stopped　when　I　reached　it；

as　I　had　no　business　to　be　upon　the　new　bridge。　　I　therefore

managed；　where　the　upper　bridge　sank　again　towards　a　level　with　the

lower；　to　scramble　back　upon　it。　　As　I　did　so　the　tall　gray…headed

man　passed　me　with　an　uncertain　step。　　I　did　not　see　his　face。　　I

followed　him　a　few　yards　behind。　　He　seemed　to　hear　and　dislike　the

sound　of　my　footsteps；　for　he　quickened　his　pace。　　I　let　him

increase　the　distance　between　us；　but　followed　him　still。　　He　turned

down　the　river。　　I　followed。　　He　began　to　double。　　I　doubled　after

him。　　Not　a　turn　could　he　get　before　me。　　He　crossed　all　the　main

roads　leading　to　the　bridges　till　he　came　to　the　lastwhen　he

turned　toward　London　Bridge。　　At　the　other　end；　he　went　down　the

stairs　into　Thames　Street；　and　held　eastward　still。　　It　was　not

difficult　to　keep　up　with　him；　for　his　stride　though　long　was　slow。

He　never　looked　round；　and　I　never　saw　his　face；　but　I　could　not

help　fancying　that　his　back　and　his　gait　and　his　carriage　were　very

like　Falconer's。



We　were　now　in　a　quarter　of　which　I　knew　nothing；　but　as　far　as　I

can　guess　from　after　knowledge；　it　was　one　of　the　worst　districts　in

London；　lying　to　the　east　of　Spital　Square。　　It　was　late；　and　there

were　not　many　people　about。



As　I　passed　a　court；　I　was　accosted　thus：



''Ain't　you　got　a　glass　of　ale　for　a　poor　cove；　gov'nor？'



'I　have　no　coppers；'　I　said　hastily。　'I　am　in　a　hurry　besides；'　I

added　as　I　walked　on。



'Come；　come！'　he　said；　getting　up　with　me　in　a　moment；　'that　ain't　a

civil　answer　to　give　a　cove　after　his　lush；　that　'ain't　got　a

blessed　mag。'



As　he　spoke　he　laid　his　hand　rather　heavily　on　my　arm。　　He　was　a

lumpy…looking　individual；　like　a　groom　who　had　been　discharged　for

stealing　his　horse's　provender；　and　had　not　quite　worn　out　the

clothes　he　had　brought　with　him。　　From　the　opposite　side　at　the　same

moment；　another　man　appeared；　low　in　stature；　pale；　and　marked　with

the　small…pox。



He　advanced　upon　me　at　right　angles。　　I　shook　off　the　hand　of　the

first；　and　I　confess　would　have　taken　to　my　heels；　for　more　reasons

than　one；　but　almost　before　I　was　clear　of　him；　the　other　came

against　me；　and　shoved　me　into　one　of　the　low…browed　entries　which

abounded。



I　was　so　eager　to　follow　my　chase　that　I　acted　foolishly　throughout。

I　ought　to　have　emptied　my　pockets　at　once；　but　I　was　unwilling　to

lose　a　watch　which　was　an　old　family　piece；　and　of　value　besides。



'Come；　come！　　I　don't　carry　a　barrel　of　ale　in　my　pocket；'　I　said；

thinking　to　keep　them　in　good…humour。　　I　know　better　now。　　Some　of

these　roughs　will　take　all　you　have　in　the　most　good…humoured　way　in

the　world；　bandying　chaff　with　you　all　the　time。　　I　had　got　amongst

another　set；　however。