letters to his son, 1748-第24章

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ke　my　word　for　it；　you　will　frequently　meet　with　it　upon　the　common　stage　of　the　world。　　And　here　I　will　observe；　by　the　bye；　that　you　will　often　meet　with　characters　in　nature　so　extravagant；　that　a　discreet　dramatist　would　not　venture　to　set　them　upon　the　stage　in　their　true　and　high　coloring。

This　principle　of　vanity　and　pride　is　so　strong　in　human　nature　that　it　descends　even　to　the　lowest　objects；　and　one　often　sees　people　angling　for　praise；　where；　admitting　all　they　say　to　be　true　（which；　by　the　way；　it　seldom　is）；　no　just　praise　is　to　be　caught。　　One　man　affirms　that　he　has　rode　post　an　hundred　miles　in　six　hours；　probably　it　is　a　lie：　but　supposing　it　to　be　true；　what　then？　　Why　he　is　a　very　good　post…boy；　that　is　all。　　Another　asserts；　and　probably　not　without　oaths；　that　he　has　drunk　six　or　eight　bottles　of　wine　at　a　sitting；　out　of　charity；　I　will　believe　him　a　liar；　for；　if　I　do　not；　I　must　think　him　a　beast。

Such；　and　a　thousand　more；　are　the　follies　and　extravagances；　which　vanity　draws　people　into；　and　which　always　defeat　their　own　purpose；　and　as　Waller　says；　upon　another　subject；

　　　　　　　　　　〃Make　the　wretch　the　most　despised；　　　　　　　　　　　Where　most　he　wishes　to　be　prized。〃

The　only　sure　way　of　avoiding　these　evils；　is　never　to　speak　of　yourself　at　all。　　But　when；　historically；　you　are　obliged　to　mention　yourself；　take　care　not　to　drop　one　single　word　that　can　directly　or　indirectly　be　construed　as　fishing　for　applause。　　Be　your　character　what　it　will；　it　will　be　known；　and　nobody　will　take　it　upon　your　own　word。　　Never　imagine　that　anything　you　can　say　yourself　will　varnish　your　defects；　or　add　lustre　to　your　perfections！　but；　on　the　contrary；　it　may；　and　nine　times　in　ten；　will；　make　the　former　more　glaring　and　the　latter　obscure。　　If　you　are　silent　upon　your　own　subject；　neither　envy；　indignation；　nor　ridicule；　will　obstruct　or　allay　the　applause　which　you　may　really　deserve；　but　if　you　publish　your　own　panegyric　upon　any　occasion；　or　in　any　shape　whatsoever；　and　however　artfully　dressed　or　disguised；　they　will　all　conspire　against　you；　and　you　will　be　disappointed　of　the　very　end　you　aim　at。

Take　care　never　to　seem　dark　and　mysterious；　which　is　not　only　a　very　unamiable　character；　but　a　very　suspicious　one　too；　if　you　seem　mysterious　with　others；　they　will　be　really　so　with　you；　and　you　will　know　nothing。　　The　height　of　abilities　is　to　have　'volto　sciolto'　and　'pensieri　stretti'；　that　is；　a　frank；　open；　and　ingenuous　exterior；　with　a　prudent　interior；　to　be　upon　your　own　guard；　and　yet；　by　a　seeming　natural　openness；　to　put　people　off　theirs。　　Depend　upon　it　nine　in　ten　of　every　company　you　are　in　will　avail　themselves　of　every　indiscreet　and　unguarded　expression　of　yours；　if　they　can　turn　it　to　their　own　advantage。　　A　prudent　reserve　is　therefore　as　necessary　as　a　seeming　openness　is　prudent。　　Always　look　people　in　the　face　when　you　speak　to　them：　the　not　doing　it　is　thought　to　imply　conscious　guilt；　besides　that　you　lose　the　advantage　of　serving　by　their　countenances　what　impression　your　discourse　makes　upon　them。　　In　order　to　know　people's　real　sentiments；　I　trust　much　more　to　my　eyes　than　to　my　ears：　for　they　can　say　whatever　they　have　a　mind　I　should　hear；　but　they　can　seldom　help　looking；　what　they　have　no　intention　that　I　should　know。

Neither　retail　nor　receive　scandal　willingly；　defamation　of　others　may　for　the　present　gratify　the　malignity　of　the　pride　of　our　hearts；　cool　reflection　will　draw　very　disadvantageous　conclusions　from　such　a　disposition；　and　in　the　case　of　scandal；　as　in　that　of　robbery；　the　receiver　is　always　thought；　as　bad　as　the　thief。

Mimicry；　which　is　the　common　and　favorite　amusement　of　little　low　minds；　is　in　the　utmost　contempt　with　great　ones。　　It　is　the　lowest　and　most　illiberal　of　all　buffoonery。　　Pray；　neither　practice　it　yourself；　nor　applaud　it　in　others。　　Besides　that　the　person　mimicked　is　insulted；　and；　as　I　have　often　observed　to　you　before；　an　insult　is　never　forgiven。

I　need　not　（I　believe）　advise　you　to　adapt　your　conversation　to　the　people　you　are　conversing　with：　for　I　suppose　you　would　not；　without　this　caution；　have　talked　upon　the　same　subject；　and　in　the　same　manner；　to　a　minister　of　state；　a　bishop；　a　philosopher；　a　captain；　and　a　woman。　A　man　of　the　world　must；　like　the　chameleon；　be　able　to　take　every　different　hue；　which　is　by　no　means　a　criminal　or　abject；　but　a　necessary　complaisance；　for　it　relates　only　to　manners　and　not　to　morals。

One　word　only　as　to　swearing；　and　that；　I　hope　and　believe；　is　more　than　is　necessary。　　You　may　sometimes　hear　some　people　in　good　company　interlard　their　discourse　with　oaths；　by　way　of　embellishment；　as　they　think；　but　you　must　observe；　too；　that　those　who　do　so　are　never　those　who　contribute；　in　any　degree；　to　give　that　company　the　denomination　of　good　company。　　They　are　always　subalterns；　or　people　of　low　education；　for　that　practice；　besides　that　it　has　no　one　temptation　to　plead；　is　as　silly　and　as　illiberal　as　it　is　wicked。

Loud　laughter　is　the　mirth　of　the　mob；　who　are　only　pleased　with　silly　things；　for　true　wit　or　good　sense　never　excited　a　laugh　since　the　creation　of　the　world。　　A　man　of　parts　and　fashion　is　therefore　only　seen　to　smile；　but　never　heard　to　laugh。

But　to　conclude　this　long　letter；　all　the　above…mentioned　rules；　however　carefully　you　may　observe　them；　will　lose　half　their　effect；　if　unaccompanied　by　the　Graces。　　Whatever　you　say；　if　you　say　it　with　a　supercilious；　cynical　face；　or　an　embarrassed　countenance；　or　a　silly；　disconcerted　grin；　will　be　ill　received。　　If；　into　the　bargain；　YOU　MUTTER　IT；　OR　UTTER　IT　INDISTINCTLY　AND　UNGRACEFULLY；　it　will　be　still　worse　received。　　If　your　air　and　address　are　vulgar；　awkward；　and　gauche；　you　may　be　esteemed　indeed；　if　you　have　great　intrinsic　merit；　but　you　will　never；　please；　and　without　pleasing　you　will　rise　but　heavily。　Venus；　among　the　ancients；　was　synonymous　with　the　Graces；　who　were　always　supposed　to　accompany　her；　and　Horace　tells　us　that　even　Youth　and　Mercury；　the　god　of　Arts　and　Eloquence；　would　not　do　without　her：

　　　　　　　　　　'Parum　comis　sine　to　Juventas　Mercuriusque。'

They　are　not　inexorable　Ladies；　and　may　be　had　if　properly；　and　diligently　pursued。　　Adieu。




LETTER　LV

BATH；　October　29；　O。　S。　　1748。

DEAR　BOY：　My　anxiety　for　your　success　increases　in　proportion　as　the　time　approaches　of　your　taking　your　part　upon　the　great　stage　of　the　world。　The　audience　will　form　their　opinion　of　you　upon　your　first　appearance　（making　the　proper　allowance　for　your　inexperience）；　and　so　far　it　will　be　final；　that；　though　it　may　vary　as　to　the　degrees；　it　will　never　totally　change。　　This　consideration　excites　that　restless　attention　with　which　I　am　constantly　examining　how　I　can　best　contribute　to　the　perfection　of　that　character；　in　which　the　least　spot　or　blemish　would　give　me　more　real　concern；　than　I　am　now　capable　of　feeling　upon　any　other　account　whatsoever。

I　have　long　since　done　mentioning　your　great　religious　and　moral　duties；　because　I　could　not　make　your　understanding　so　bad　a　compliment　as　to　suppose　that　you　wanted；　or　could　receive；　any　new　instructions　upon　those　two　important　points。　　Mr。　Harte；　I　am　sure；　has　not　neglected　them；　and；　besides；　they　are　so　obvious　to　common　sense　and　reason；　that　commentators　may　（as　they　often　do）　perplex；　but　cannot　make　them　clearer。　　My　province；　therefore；　is　to　supply　by　my　experience　your　hitherto　inevitable　inexperience　in　the　ways　of　the　world。　　People　at　your　age　are　in　a　state　of　natural　ebriety；　and　want　rails；　and　'gardefous'；　wherever　they　go；　to　hinder　them　from　breaking　their　necks。　This　drunkenness　of　youth　is　not　only　tolerated；　but　even　pleases；　if　kept　within　certain　bounds　of　discretion　and　decency。　　These　bounds　are　the　point　which　it　is　difficult　for　the　drunken　man　himself　to　find　out；　and　there　it　is　that　the　experience　of　a　friend　may　not　only　serve；　but　save　him。

Carry　with　you；　and　welcome；　into　company　all　the　gaiety　and　spirits；　but　as　little　of　the　giddiness；　of　youth　as　you　can。　　The　former　will　charm；　but　the　latter　will　often；　though　innocently；　implacably　offend。　　Inform　yourself　of　the　characters　and　situations　of　the　company；　be