david copperfield(大卫.科波维尔)-第122章

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with　ampial　satisfaction　to　my　own　feelings！’　But；　in　the　end；　a　
compromise　was　effected；　and　Mrs。　Crupp　consented　to　achieve　
this　feat；　on　condition　that　I　dined　from　home　for　a　fortnight　
afterwards。　

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David　Copperfield　

And　here　I　may　remark；　that　what　I　underwent　from　Mrs。　
Crupp；　in　consequence　of　the　tyranny　she　established　over　me；　
was　dreadful。　I　never　was　so　much　afraid　of　anyone。　We　made　a　
compromise　of　everything。　If　I　hesitated；　she　was　taken　with　that　
wonderful　disorder　which　was　always　lying　in　ambush　in　her　
system；　ready；　at　the　shortest　notice；　to　prey　upon　her　vitals。　If　I　
rang　the　bell　impatiently；　after　half…a…dozen　unavailing　modest　
pulls；　and　she　appeared　at　last—which　was　not　by　any　means　to　be　
relied　upon—she　would　appear　with　a　reproachful　aspect；　sink　
breathless　on　a　chair　near　the　door；　lay　her　hand　upon　her　
nankeen　bosom；　and　become　so　ill；　that　I　was　glad；　at　any　sacrifice　
of　brandy　or　anything　else；　to　get　rid　of　her。　If　I　objected　to　having　
my　bed　made　at　five　o’clock　in　the　afternoon—which　I　do　still　
think　an　uncomfortable　arrangement—one　motion　of　her　hand　
towards　the　same　nankeen　region　of　wounded　sensibility　was　
enough　to　make　me　falter　an　apology。　In　short；　I　would　have　done　
anything　in　an　honourable　way　rather　than　give　Mrs。　Crupp　
offence；　and　she　was　the　terror　of　my　life。　

I　bought　a　second…hand　dumb…waiter　for　this　dinner…party；　in　
preference　to　re…engaging　the　handy　young　man；　against　whom　I　
had　conceived　a　prejudice；　in　consequence　of　meeting　him　in　the　
Strand；　one　Sunday　morning；　in　a　waistcoat　remarkably　like　one　
of　mine；　which　had　been　missing　since　the　former　occasion。　The　
‘young　gal’　was　re…engaged；　but　on　the　stipulation　that　she　should　
only　bring　in　the　dishes；　and　then　withdraw　to　the　landing…place；　
beyond　the　outer　door；　where　a　habit　of　sniffing　she　had　
contracted　would　be　lost　upon　the　guests；　and　where　her　retiring　
on　the　plates　would　be　a　physical　impossibility。　

Having　laid　in　the　materials　for　a　bowl　of　punch；　to　be　

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compounded　by　Mr。　Micawber；　having　provided　a　bottle　of　
lavender…water；　two　wax…candles；　a　paper　of　mixed　pins；　and　a　
pincushion；　to　assist　Mrs。　Micawber　in　her　toilette　at　my　dressing…
table；　having　also　caused　the　fire　in　my　bedroom　to　be　lighted　for　
Mrs。　Micawber’s　convenience；　and　having　laid　the　cloth　with　my　
own　hands；　I　awaited　the　result　with　composure。　

At　the　appointed　time；　my　three　visitors　arrived　together。　Mr。　
Micawber　with　more　shirt…collar　than　usual；　and　a　new　ribbon　to　
his　eye…glass；　Mrs。　Micawber　with　her　cap　in　a　whitey…brown　
paper　parcel；　Traddles　carrying　the　parcel；　and　supporting　Mrs。　
Micawber　on　his　arm。　They　were　all　delighted　with　my　residence。　
When　I　conducted　Mrs。　Micawber　to　my　dressing…table；　and　she　
saw　the　scale　on　which　it　was　prepared　for　her；　she　was　in　such　
raptures；　that　she　called　Mr。　Micawber　to　come　in　and　look。　

‘My　dear　Copperfield；’　said　Mr。　Micawber；　‘this　is　luxurious。　
This　is　a　way　of　life　which　reminds　me　of　the　period　when　I　was　
myself　in　a　state　of　celibacy；　and　Mrs。　Micawber　had　not　yet　been　
solicited　to　plight　her　faith　at　the　Hymeneal　altar。’　

‘He　means；　solicited　by　him；　Mr。　Copperfield；’　said　Mrs。　
Micawber；　archly。　‘He　cannot　answer　for　others。’　

‘My　dear；’　returned　Mr。　Micawber　with　sudden　seriousness；　‘I　
have　no　desire　to　answer　for　others。　I　am　too　well　aware　that　
when；　in　the　inscrutable　decrees　of　Fate；　you　were　reserved　for　
me；　it　is　possible　you　may　have　been　reserved　for　one；　destined；　
after　a　protracted　struggle；　at　length　to　fall　a　victim　to　pecuniary　
involvements　of　a　complicated　nature。　I　understand　your　allusion；　
my　love。　I　regret　it；　but　I　can　bear　it。’　

‘Micawber！’　exclaimed　Mrs。　Micawber；　in　tears。　‘Have　I　
deserved　this！　I；　who　never　have　deserted　you；　who　never　WILL　

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desert　you；　Micawber！’　

‘My　love；’　said　Mr。　Micawber；　much　affected；　‘you　will　forgive；　
and　our　old　and　tried　friend　Copperfield　will；　I　am　sure；　forgive；　
the　momentary　laceration　of　a　wounded　spirit；　made　sensitive　by　a　
recent　collision　with　the　Minion　of　Power—in　other　words；　with　a　
ribald　Turncock　attached　to　the　water…works—and　will　pity；　not　
condemn；　its　excesses。’　

Mr。　Micawber　then　embraced　Mrs。　Micawber；　and　pressed　my　
hand；　leaving　me　to　infer　from　this　broken　allusion　that　his　
domestic　supply　of　water　had　been　cut　off　that　afternoon；　in　
consequence　of　default　in　the　payment　of　the　company’s　rates。　

To　divert　his　thoughts　from　this　melancholy　subject；　I　informed　
Mr。　Micawber　that　I　relied　upon　him　for　a　bowl　of　punch；　and　led　
him　to　the　lemons。　His　recent　despondency；　not　to　say　despair；　
was　gone　in　a　moment。　I　never　saw　a　man　so　thoroughly　enjoy　
himself　amid　the　fragrance　of　lemon…peel　and　sugar；　the　odour　of　
burning　rum；　and　the　steam　of　boiling　water；　as　Mr。　Micawber　did　
that　afternoon。　It　was　wonderful　to　see　his　face　shining　at　us　out　of　
a　thin　cloud　of　these　delicate　fumes；　as　he　stirred；　and　mixed；　and　
tasted；　and　looked　as　if　he　were　making；　instead　of　punch；　a　
fortune　for　his　family　down　to　the　latest　posterity。　As　to　Mrs。　
Micawber；　I　don’t　know　whether　it　was　the　effect　of　the　cap；　or　the　
lavender…water；　or　the　pins；　or　the　fire；　or　the　wax…candles；　but　she　
came　out　of　my　room；　comparatively　speaking；　lovely。　And　the　lark　
was　never　gayer　than　that　excellent　woman。　

I　suppose—I　never　ventured　to　inquire；　but　I　suppose—that　
Mrs。　Crupp；　after　frying　the　soles；　was　taken　ill。　Because　we　broke　
down　at　that　point。　The　leg　of　mutton　came　up　very　red　within；　
and　very　pale　without：　besides　having　a　foreign　substance　of　a　

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gritty　nature　sprinkled　over　it；　as　if　it　had　had　a　fall　into　the　ashes　
of　that　remarkable　kitchen　fireplace。　But　we　were　not　in　condition　
to　judge　of　this　fact　from　the　appearance　of　the　gravy；　forasmuch　
as　the　‘young　gal’　had　dropped　it　all　upon　the　stairs—where　it　
remained；　by　the　by；　in　a　long　train；　until　it　was　worn　out。　The　
pigeon…pie　was　not　bad；　but　it　was　a　delusive　pie：　the　crust　being　
like　a　disappointing　head；　phrenologically　speaking：　full　of　lumps　
and　bumps；　with　nothing　particular　underneath。　In　short；　the　
banquet　was　such　a　failure　that　I　should　have　been　quite　
unhappy—about　the　failure；　I　mean；　for　I　was　always　unhappy　
about　Dora—if　I　had　not　been　relieved　by　the　great　good　humour　
of　my　company；　and　by　a　bright　suggestion　from　Mr。　Micawber。　

‘My　dear　friend　Copperfield；’　said　Mr。　Micawber；　‘accidents　will　
occur　in　the　best…regulated　families；　and　in　families　not　regulated　
by　that　pervading　influence　which　sanctifies　while　it　enhances　
the—a—I　would　say；　in　short；　by　the　influence　of　Woman；　in　the　
lofty　character　of　Wife；　they　may　be　expected　with　confidence；　and　
must　be　borne　with　philosophy。　If　you　will　allow　me　to　take　the　
liberty　of　remarking　that　there　are　few　comestibles　better；　in　their　
way；　than　a　Devil；　and　that　I　believe；　with　a　little　division　of　labour；　
we　could　accomplish　a　good　one　if　the　young　person　in　attendance　
could　produce　a　gridiron；　I　would　put　it　to　you；　that　this　little　
misfortune　may　be　easily　repaired。’　

There　was　a　gridiron　in　the　pantry；　on　which　my　morning　
rasher　of　bacon　was　cooked。　We　had　it　in；　in　a　twinkling；　and　
immediately　applied　ourselves　to　carrying　Mr。　Micawber’s　idea　
into　effect。　The　division　of　labour　to　which　he　had　referred　was　
this：—Traddles　cut　the　mutton　into　slices；　Mr。　Micawber　（who　
could　do　anything　of　this　sort　to　perfection）　covered　them　with　

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pepper；　mustard；　salt；　and　cayenne；　I　put　them　on　the　gridiron；　
turned　them　with　a　fork；　and　took　them　off；　under　Mr。　Micawber’s　
direction；　and　Mrs。　Micawber　heated；　and　continually　stirred；　
some　mushroom　ketchup　in　a　little　saucepan。　When　we　had　slices　
enough　done　to　begin　upon；　we　fell…to；　with　our　s