david copperfield(大卫.科波维尔)-第179章

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book　of　my　aunt’s；　and　gave　her　a　set　of　tablets；　and　a　pretty　little　
pencil…case　and　box　of　leads；　to　practise　housekeeping　with。　

But　the　cookery…book　made　Dora’s　head　ache；　and　the　figures　
made　her　cry。　They　wouldn’t　add　up；　she　said。　So　she　rubbed　them　
out；　and　drew　little　nosegays　and　likenesses　of　me　and　Jip；　all　over　
the　tablets。　

Then　I　playfully　tried　verbal　instruction　in　domestic　matters；　as　
we　walked　about　on　a　Saturday　afternoon。　Sometimes；　for　
example；　when　we　passed　a　butcher’s　shop；　I　would　say：　

‘Now　suppose；　my　pet；　that　we　were　married；　and　you　were　
going　to　buy　a　shoulder　of　mutton　for　dinner；　would　you　know　how　
to　buy　it？’　

My　pretty　little　Dora’s　face　would　fall；　and　she　would　make　her　
mouth　into　a　bud　again；　as　if　she　would　very　much　prefer　to　shut　
mine　with　a　kiss。　

‘Would　you　know　how　to　buy　it；　my　darling？’　I　would　repeat；　
perhaps；　if　I　were　very　inflexible。　

Dora　would　think　a　little；　and　then　reply；　perhaps；　with　great　
triumph：　

‘Why；　the　butcher　would　know　how　to　sell　it；　and　what　need　I　

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know？　Oh；　you　silly　Boy！’　

So；　when　I　once　asked　Dora；　with　an　eye　to　the　cookery…book；　
what　she　would　do；　if　we　were　married；　and　I　were　to　say　I　should　
like　a　nice　Irish　stew；　she　replied　that　she　would　tell　the　servant　to　
make　it；　and　then　clapped　her　little　hands　together　across　my　arm；　
and　laughed　in　such　a　charming　manner　that　she　was　more　
delightful　than　ever。　

Consequently；　the　principal　use　to　which　the　cookery…book　was　
devoted；　was　being　put　down　in　the　corner　for　Jip　to　stand　upon。　
But　Dora　was　so　pleased；　when　she　had　trained　him　to　stand　upon　
it　without　offering　to　come　off；　and　at　the　same　time　to　hold　the　
pencil…case　in　his　mouth；　that　I　was　very　glad　I　had　bought　it。　

And　we　fell　back　on　the　guitar…case；　and　the　flower…painting；　
and　the　songs　about　never　leaving　off　dancing；　Ta　ra　la！　and　were　
as　happy　as　the　week　was　long。　I　occasionally　wished　I　could　
venture　to　hint　to　Miss　Lavinia；　that　she　treated　the　darling　of　my　
heart　a　little　too　much　like　a　plaything；　and　I　sometimes　awoke；　as　
it　were；　wondering　to　find　that　I　had　fallen　into　the　general　fault；　
and　treated　her　like　a　plaything　too—but　not　often。　

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Chapter　42　

MISCHIEF　

Ifeel　as　if　it　were　not　for　me　to　record；　even　though　this　
manuscript　is　intended　for　no　eyes　but　mine；　how　hard　I　
worked　at　that　tremendous　short…hand；　and　all　improvement　
appertaining　to　it；　in　my　sense　of　responsibility　to　Dora　and　her　
aunts。　I　will　only　add；　to　what　I　have　already　written　of　my　
perseverance　at　this　time　of　my　life；　and　of　a　patient　and　
continuous　energy　which　then　began　to　be　matured　within　me；　
and　which　I　know　to　be　the　strong　part　of　my　character；　if　it　have　
any　strength　at　all；　that　there；　on　looking　back；　I　find　the　source　of　
my　success。　I　have　been　very　fortunate　in　worldly　matters；　many　
men　have　worked　much　harder；　and　not　succeeded　half　so　well；　
but　I　never　could　have　done　what　I　have　done；　without　the　habits　
of　punctuality；　order；　and　diligence；　without　the　determination　to　
concentrate　myself　on　one　object　at　a　time；　no　matter　how　quickly　
its　successor　should　come　upon　its　heels；　which　I　then　formed。　
Heaven　knows　I　write　this；　in　no　spirit　of　self…laudation。　The　man　
who　reviews　his　own　life；　as　I　do　mine；　in　going　on　here；　from　page　
to　page；　had　need　to　have　been　a　good　man　indeed；　if　he　would　be　
spared　the　sharp　consciousness　of　many　talents　neglected；　many　
opportunities　wasted；　many　erratic　and　perverted　feelings　
constantly　at　war　within　his　breast；　and　defeating　him。　I　do　not　
hold　one　natural　gift；　I　dare　say；　that　I　have　not　abused。　My　
meaning　simply　is；　that　whatever　I　have　tried　to　do　in　life；　I　have　
tried　with　all　my　heart　to　do　well；　that　whatever　I　have　devoted　

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myself　to；　I　have　devoted　myself　to　completely；　that　in　great　aims　
and　in　small；　I　have　always　been　thoroughly　in　earnest。　I　have　
never　believed　it　possible　that　any　natural　or　improved　ability　can　
claim　immunity　from　the　companionship　of　the　steady；　plain；　
hard…working　qualities；　and　hope　to　gain　its　end。　There　is　no　such　
thing　as　such　fulfilment　on　this　earth。　Some　happy　talent；　and　
some　fortunate　opportunity；　may　form　the　two　sides　of　the　ladder　
on　which　some　men　mount；　but　the　rounds　of　that　ladder　must　be　
made　of　stuff　to　stand　wear　and　tear；　and　there　is　no　substitute　for　
thorough…going；　ardent；　and　sincere　earnestness。　Never　to　put　one　
hand　to　anything；　on　which　I　could　throw　my　whole　self；　and　never　
to　affect　depreciation　of　my　work；　whatever　it　was；　I　find；　now；　to　
have　been　my　golden　rules。　

How　much　of　the　practice　I　have　just　reduced　to　precept；　I　owe　
to　Agnes；　I　will　not　repeat　here。　My　narrative　proceeds　to　Agnes；　
with　a　thankful　love。　

She　came　on　a　visit　of　a　fortnight　to　the　Doctor’s。　Mr。　Wickfield　
was　the　Doctor’s　old　friend；　and　the　Doctor　wished　to　talk　with　
him；　and　do　him　good。　It　had　been　matter　of　conversation　with　
Agnes　when　she　was　last　in　town；　and　this　visit　was　the　result。　She　
and　her　father　came　together。　I　was　not　much　surprised　to　hear　
from　her　that　she　had　engaged　to　find　a　lodging　in　the　
neighbourhood　for　Mrs。　Heep；　whose　rheumatic　complaint　
required　change　of　air；　and　who　would　be　charmed　to　have　it　in　
such　company。　Neither　was　I　surprised　when；　on　the　very　next　
day；　Uriah；　like　a　dutiful　son；　brought　his　worthy　mother　to　take　
possession。　

‘You　see；　Master　Copperfield；’　said　he；　as　he　forced　himself　
upon　my　company　for　a　turn　in　the　Doctor’s　garden；　‘where　a　

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person　loves；　a　person　is　a　little　jealous—leastways；　anxious　to　

keep　an　eye　on　the　beloved　one。’　

‘Of　whom　are　you　jealous；　now？’　said　I。　

‘Thanks　to　you；　Master　Copperfield；’　he　returned；　‘of　no　one　in　
particular　just　at　present—no　male　person；　at　least。’　

‘Do　you　mean　that　you　are　jealous　of　a　female　person？’　

He　gave　me　a　sidelong　glance　out　of　his　sinister　red　eyes；　and　
laughed。　

‘Really；　Master　Copperfield；’　he　said；　‘—I　should　say　Mister；　but　
I　know　you’ll　excuse　the　abit　I’ve　got　into—you’re　so　insinuating；　
that　you　draw　me　like　a　corkscrew！　Well；　I　don’t　mind　telling　you；’　
putting　his　fish…like　hand　on　mine；　‘I’m　not　a　lady’s　man　in　
general；　sir；　and　I　never　was；　with　Mrs。　Strong。’　

His　eyes　looked　green　now；　as　they　watched　mine　with　a　
rascally　cunning。　

‘What　do　you　mean？’　said　I。　

‘Why；　though　I　am　a　lawyer；　Master　Copperfield；’　he　replied；　
with　a　dry　grin；　‘I　mean；　just　at　present；　what　I　say。’　

‘And　what　do　you　mean　by　your　look？’　I　retorted；　quietly。　

‘By　my　look？　Dear　me；　Copperfield；　that’s　sharp　practice！　What　
do　I　mean　by　my　look？’　

‘Yes；’　said　I。　‘By　your　look。’　

He　seemed　very　much　amused；　and　laughed　as　heartily　as　it　
was　in　his　nature　to　laugh。　After　some　scraping　of　his　chin　with　his　
hand；　he　went　on　to　say；　with　his　eyes　cast　downward—still　
scraping；　very　slowly：　

‘When　I　was　but　an　umble　clerk；　she　always　looked　down　upon　
me。　She　was　for　ever　having　my　Agnes　backwards　and　forwards　at　
her　ouse；　and　she　was　for　ever　being　a　friend　to　you；　Master　

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Copperfield；　but　I　was　too　far　beneath　her；　myself；　to　be　noticed。’　

‘Well？’　said　I；　‘suppose　you　were！’　

‘—And　beneath　him　too；’　pursued　Uriah；　very　distinctly；　and　in　
a　meditative　tone　of　voice；　as　he　continued　to　scrape　his　chin。　

‘Don’t　you　know　the　Doctor　better；’　said　I；　‘than　to　suppose　him　
conscious　of　your　existence；　when　you　were　not　before　him？’　

He　directed　his　eyes　at　me　in　that　sidelong　glance　again；　and　he　
made　his　face　very　lantern…jawed；　for　the　greater　convenience　of　
scraping；　as　he　answered：　

‘Oh　dear；　I　am　not　referring　to　the　Doctor！　Oh　no；　poor　man！　I　
mean　Mr。　Maldon！’　

My　heart　quite　died　within　me。　All　my　old　doubts　and　
a