david copperfield(大卫.科波维尔)-第35章

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understand　you；　Peggotty；　perfectly。　You　know　I　do；　and　I　wonder　
you　don’t　colour　up　like　fire。　But　one　point　at　a　time。　Miss　
Murdstone　is　the　point　now；　Peggotty；　and　you　sha’n’t　escape　from　
it。　Haven’t　you　heard　her　say；　over　and　over　again；　that　she　thinks　
I　am　too　thoughtless　and　too—a—a—’　

‘Pretty；’　suggested　Peggotty。　

‘Well；’　returned　my　mother；　half　laughing；　‘and　if　she　is　so　silly　
as　to　say　so；　can　I　be　blamed　for　it？’　

‘No　one　says　you　can；’　said　Peggotty。　

‘No；　I　should　hope　not；　indeed！’　returned　my　mother。　‘Haven’t　
you　heard　her　say；　over　and　over　again；　that　on　this　account　she　
wished　to　spare　me　a　great　deal　of　trouble；　which　she　thinks　I　am　
not　suited　for；　and　which　I　really　don’t　know　myself　that　I　am　
suited　for；　and　isn’t　she　up　early　and　late；　and　going　to　and　fro　
continually—and　doesn’t　she　do　all　sorts　of　things；　and　grope　into　
all　sorts　of　places；　coal…holes　and　pantries　and　I　don’t　know　where；　
that　can’t　be　very　agreeable—and　do　you　mean　to　insinuate　that　
there　is　not　a　sort　of　devotion　in　that？’　

‘I　don’t　insinuate　at　all；’　said　Peggotty。　

‘You　do；　Peggotty；’　returned　my　mother。　‘You　never　do　
anything　else；　except　your　work。　You　are　always　insinuating。　You　

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David　Copperfield　

revel　in　it。　And　when　you　talk　of　Mr。　Murdstone’s　good　

intentions—’　

‘I　never　talked　of　’em；’　said　Peggotty。　

‘No；　Peggotty；’　returned　my　mother；　‘but　you　insinuated。　That’s　
what　I　told　you　just　now。　That’s　the　worst　of　you。　You　will　
insinuate。　I　said；　at　the　moment；　that　I　understood　you；　and　you　
see　I　did。　When　you　talk　of　Mr。　Murdstone’s　good　intentions；　and　
pretend　to　slight　them　（for　I　don’t　believe　you　really　do；　in　your　
heart；　Peggotty）；　you　must　be　as　well　convinced　as　I　am　how　good　
they　are；　and　how　they　actuate　him　in　everything。　If　he　seems　to　
have　been　at　all　stern　with　a　certain　person；　Peggotty—you　
understand；　and　so　I　am　sure　does　Davy；　that　I　am　not　alluding　to　
anybody　present—it　is　solely　because　he　is　satisfied　that　it　is　for　a　
certain　person’s　benefit。　He　naturally　loves　a　certain　person；　on　
my　account；　and　acts　solely　for　a　certain　person’s　good。　He　is　
better　able　to　judge　of　it　than　I　am；　for　I　very　well　know　that　I　am　a　
weak；　light；　girlish　creature；　and　that　he　is　a　firm；　grave；　serious　
man。　And　he　takes；’　said　my　mother；　with　the　tears　which　were　
engendered　in　her　affectionate　nature；　stealing　down　her　face；　‘he　
takes　great　pains　with　me；　and　I　ought　to　be　very　thankful　to　him；　
and　very　submissive　to　him　even　in　my　thoughts；　and　when　I　am　
not；　Peggotty；　I　worry　and　condemn　myself；　and　feel　doubtful　of　
my　own　heart；　and　don’t　know　what　to　do。’　

Peggotty　sat　with　her　chin　on　the　foot　of　the　stocking；　looking　
silently　at　the　fire。　

‘There；　Peggotty；’　said　my　mother；　changing　her　tone；　‘don’t　let　
us　fall　out　with　one　another；　for　I　couldn’t　bear　it。　You　are　my　true　
friend；　I　know；　if　I　have　any　in　the　world。　When　I　call　you　a　
ridiculous　creature；　or　a　vexatious　thing；　or　anything　of　that　sort；　

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Peggotty；　I　only　mean　that　you　are　my　true　friend；　and　always　
have　been；　ever　since　the　night　when　Mr。　Copperfield　first　brought　
me　home　here；　and　you　came　out　to　the　gate　to　meet　me。’　

Peggotty　was　not　slow　to　respond；　and　ratify　the　treaty　of　
friendship　by　giving　me　one　of　her　best　hugs。　I　think　I　had　some　
glimpses　of　the　real　character　of　this　conversation　at　the　time；　but　
I　am　sure；　now；　that　the　good　creature　originated　it；　and　took　her　
part　in　it；　merely　that　my　mother　might　comfort　herself　with　the　
little　contradictory　summary　in　which　she　had　indulged。　The　
design　was　efficacious；　for　I　remember　that　my　mother　seemed　
more　at　ease　during　the　rest　of　the　evening；　and　that　Peggotty　
observed　her　less。　

When　we　had　had　our　tea；　and　the　ashes　were　thrown　up；　and　
the　candles　snuffed；　I　read　Peggotty　a　chapter　out　of　the　Crocodile　
Book；　in　remembrance　of　old　times—she　took　it　out　of　her　pocket：　
I　don’t　know　whether　she　had　kept　it　there　ever　since—and　then　
we　talked　about　Salem　House；　which　brought　me　round　again　to　
Steerforth；　who　was　my　great　subject。　We　were　very　happy；　and　
that　evening；　as　the　last　of　its　race；　and　destined　evermore　to　close　
that　volume　of　my　life；　will　never　pass　out　of　my　memory。　

It　was　almost　ten　o’clock　before　we　heard　the　sound　of　wheels。　
We　all　got　up　then；　and　my　mother　said　hurriedly　that；　as　it　was　so　
late；　and　Mr。　and　Miss　Murdstone　approved　of　early　hours　for　
young　people；　perhaps　I　had　better　go　to　bed。　I　kissed　her；　and　
went　upstairs　with　my　candle　directly；　before　they　came　in。　It　
appeared　to　my　childish　fancy；　as　I　ascended　to　the　bedroom　
where　I　had　been　imprisoned；　that　they　brought　a　cold　blast　of　air　
into　the　house　which　blew　away　the　old　familiar　feeling　like　a　
feather。　

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I　felt　uncomfortable　about　going　down　to　breakfast　in　the　
morning；　as　I　had　never　set　eyes　on　Mr。　Murdstone　since　the　day　
when　I　committed　my　memorable　offence。　However；　as　it　must　be　
done；　I　went　down；　after　two　or　three　false　starts　half…way；　and　as　
many　runs　back　on　tiptoe　to　my　own　room；　and　presented　myself　
in　the　parlour。　

He　was　standing　before　the　fire　with　his　back　to　it；　while　Miss　
Murdstone　made　the　tea。　He　looked　at　me　steadily　as　I　entered；　
but　made　no　sign　of　recognition　whatever。　I　went　up　to　him；　after　a　
moment　of　confusion；　and　said：　‘I　beg　your　pardon；　sir。　I　am　very　
sorry　for　what　I　did；　and　I　hope　you　will　forgive　me。’　

‘I　am　glad　to　hear　you　are　sorry；　David；’　he　replied。　

The　hand　he　gave　me　was　the　hand　I　had　bitten。　I　could　not　
restrain　my　eye　from　resting　for　an　instant　on　a　red　spot　upon　it；　
but　it　was　not　so　red　as　I　turned；　when　I　met　that　sinister　
expression　in　his　face。　

‘How　do　you　do；　ma’am？’　I　said　to　Miss　Murdstone。　

‘Ah；　dear　me！’　sighed　Miss　Murdstone；　giving　me　the　tea…caddy　
scoop　instead　of　her　fingers。　‘How　long　are　the　holidays？’　

‘A　month；　ma’am。’　

‘Counting　from　when？’　

‘From　today；　ma’am。’　

‘Oh！’　said　Miss　Murdstone。　‘Then　here’s　one　day　off。’　

She　kept　a　calendar　of　the　holidays　in　this　way；　and　every　
morning　checked　a　day　off　in　exactly　the　same　manner。　She　did　it　
gloomily　until　she　came　to　ten；　but　when　she　got　into　two　figures　
she　became　more　hopeful；　and；　as　the　time　advanced；　even　jocular。　

It　was　on　this　very　first　day　that　I　had　the　misfortune　to　throw　
her；　though　she　was　not　subject　to　such　weakness　in　general；　into　

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a　state　of　violent　consternation。　I　came　into　the　room　where　she　
and　my　mother　were　sitting；　and　the　baby　（who　was　only　a　few　
weeks　old）　being　on　my　mother’s　lap；　I　took　it　very　carefully　in　my　
arms。　Suddenly　Miss　Murdstone　gave　such　a　scream　that　I　all　but　
dropped　it。　

‘My　dear　Jane！’　cried　my　mother。　

‘Good　heavens；　Clara；　do　you　see？’　exclaimed　Miss　Murdstone。　

‘See　what；　my　dear　Jane？’　said　my　mother；　‘where？’　

‘He’s　got　it！’　cried　Miss　Murdstone。　‘The　boy　has　got　the　baby！’　

She　was　limp　with　horror；　but　stiffened　herself　to　make　a　dart　
at　me；　and　take　it　out　of　my　arms。　Then；　she　turned　faint；　and　was　
so　very　ill　that　they　were　obliged　to　give　her　cherry　brandy。　I　was　
solemnly　interdicted　by　her；　on　her　recovery；　from　touching　my　
brother　any　more　on　any　pretence　whatever；　and　my　poor　mother；　
who；　I　could　see；　wished　otherwise；　meekly　confirmed　the　
interdict；　by　saying：　‘No　doubt　you　are　right；　my　dear　Jane。’　

On　another　occasion；　when　we　three　were　together；　this　same　
dear　baby—it　was　truly　dear　to　me；　for　our　mother’s　sake—was　the　
innocent　occasion　of　Miss　Murdstone’s　going　into　a　passion。　My　
mother；　who　had　been　looking　at　its　eyes　as　it　lay　upon　her　lap；　
said：　

‘Davy！　come　here！’　and　looked　at　mine。　

I　saw　Miss　Murdstone　lay　her　beads　down。　

‘I　declare；’　said　my　mother；　gently；　‘they　are　exactly　alike。　I　
suppose