david copperfield(大卫.科波维尔)-第84章

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‘My　dear；　you　absolutely　are；　on　some　subjects；　one　of　the　most　
ridiculous　persons　in　the　world；’　returned　her　mother；　‘and　
perhaps　the　most　unnatural　to　the　claims　of　your　own　family。　We　
never　should　have　heard　of　the　letter　at　all；　I　believe；　unless　I　had　
asked　for　it　myself。　Do　you　call　that　confidence；　my　love；　towards　
Doctor　Strong？　I　am　surprised。　You　ought　to　know　better。’　

The　letter　was　reluctantly　produced；　and　as　I　handed　it　to　the　
old　lady；　I　saw　how　the　unwilling　hand　from　which　I　took　it；　
trembled。　

‘Now　let　us　see；’　said　Mrs。　Markleham；　putting　her　glass　to　her　
eye；　‘where　the　passage　is。　“The　remembrance　of　old　times；　my　
dearest　Annie”—and　so　forth—it’s　not　there。　“The　amiable　old　

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Proctor”—who’s　he？　Dear　me；　Annie；　how　illegibly　your　cousin　
Maldon　writes；　and　how　stupid　I　am！　“Doctor；”　of　course。　Ah！　
amiable　indeed！’　Here　she　left　off；　to　kiss　her　fan　again；　and　shake　
it　at　the　Doctor；　who　was　looking　at　us　in　a　state　of　placid　
satisfaction。　‘Now　I　have　found　it。　“You　may　not　be　surprised　to　
hear；　Annie；”—no；　to　be　sure；　knowing　that　he　never　was　really　
strong；　what　did　I　say　just　now？—“that　I　have　undergone　so　much　
in　this　distant　place；　as　to　have　decided　to　leave　it　at　all　hazards；　
on　sick　leave；　if　I　can；　on　total　resignation；　if　that　is　not　to　be　
obtained。　What　I　have　endured；　and　do　endure　here；　is　
insupportable。”　And　but　for　the　promptitude　of　that　best　of　
creatures；’　said　Mrs。　Markleham；　telegraphing　the　Doctor　as　
before；　and　refolding　the　letter；　‘it　would　be　insupportable　to　me　to　
think　of。’　

Mr。　Wickfield　said　not　one　word；　though　the　old　lady　looked　to　
him　as　if　for　his　commentary　on　this　intelligence；　but　sat　severely　
silent；　with　his　eyes　fixed　on　the　ground。　Long　after　the　subject　
was　dismissed；　and　other　topics　occupied　us；　he　remained　so；　
seldom　raising　his　eyes；　unless　to　rest　them　for　a　moment；　with　a　
thoughtful　frown；　upon　the　Doctor；　or　his　wife；　or　both。　

The　Doctor　was　very　fond　of　music。　Agnes　sang　with　great　
sweetness　and　expression；　and　so　did　Mrs。　Strong。　They　sang　
together；　and　played　duets　together；　and　we　had　quite　a　little　
concert。　But　I　remarked　two　things：　first；　that　though　Annie　soon　
recovered　her　composure；　and　was　quite　herself；　there　was　a　blank　
between　her　and　Mr。　Wickfield　which　separated　them　wholly　from　
each　other；　secondly；　that　Mr。　Wickfield　seemed　to　dislike　the　
intimacy　between　her　and　Agnes；　and　to　watch　it　with　uneasiness。　
And　now；　I　must　confess；　the　recollection　of　what　I　had　seen　on　

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that　night　when　Mr。　Maldon　went　away；　first　began　to　return　upon　
me　with　a　meaning　it　had　never　had；　and　to　trouble　me。　The　
innocent　beauty　of　her　face　was　not　as　innocent　to　me　as　it　had　
been；　I　mistrusted　the　natural　grace　and　charm　of　her　manner；　
and　when　I　looked　at　Agnes　by　her　side；　and　thought　how　good　
and　true　Agnes　was；　suspicions　arose　within　me　that　it　was　an　ill…
assorted　friendship。　

She　was　so　happy　in　it　herself；　however；　and　the　other　was　so　
happy　too；　that　they　made　the　evening　fly　away　as　if　it　were　but　an　
hour。　It　closed　in　an　incident　which　I　well　remember。　They　were　
taking　leave　of　each　other；　and　Agnes　was　going　to　embrace　her　
and　kiss　her；　when　Mr。　Wickfield　stepped　between　them；　as　if　by　
accident；　and　drew　Agnes　quickly　away。　Then　I　saw；　as　though　all　
the　intervening　time　had　been　cancelled；　and　I　were　still　standing　
in　the　doorway　on　the　night　of　the　departure；　the　expression　of　
that　night　in　the　face　of　Mrs。　Strong；　as　it　confronted　his。　

I　cannot　say　what　an　impression　this　made　upon　me；　or　how　
impossible　I　found　it；　when　I　thought　of　her　afterwards；　to　
separate　her　from　this　look；　and　remember　her　face　in　its　innocent　
loveliness　again。　It　haunted　me　when　I　got　home。　I　seemed　to　have　
left　the　Doctor’s　roof　with　a　dark　cloud　lowering　on　it。　The　
reverence　that　I　had　for　his　grey　head；　was　mingled　with　
commiseration　for　his　faith　in　those　who　were　treacherous　to　him；　
and　with　resentment　against　those　who　injured　him。　The　
impending　shadow　of　a　great　affliction；　and　a　great　disgrace　that　
had　no　distinct　form　in　it　yet；　fell　like　a　stain　upon　the　quiet　place　
where　I　had　worked　and　played　as　a　boy；　and　did　it　a　cruel　wrong。　
I　had　no　pleasure　in　thinking；　any　more；　of　the　grave　old　broad…
leaved　aloe…trees；　which　remained　shut　up　in　themselves　a　

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hundred　years　together；　and　of　the　trim　smooth　grass…plot；　and　the　
stone　urns；　and　the　Doctor’s　walk；　and　the　congenial　sound　of　the　
Cathedral　bell　hovering　above　them　all。　It　was　as　if　the　tranquil　
sanctuary　of　my　boyhood　had　been　sacked　before　my　face；　and　its　
peace　and　honour　given　to　the　winds。　

But　morning　brought　with　it　my　parting　from　the　old　house；　
which　Agnes　had　filled　with　her　influence；　and　that　occupied　my　
mind　sufficiently。　I　should　be　there　again　soon；　no　doubt；　I　might　
sleep　again—perhaps　often—in　my　old　room；　but　the　days　of　my　
inhabiting　there　were　gone；　and　the　old　time　was　past。　I　was　
heavier　at　heart　when　I　packed　up　such　of　my　books　and　clothes　as　
still　remained　there　to　be　sent　to　Dover；　than　I　cared　to　show　to　
Uriah　Heep；　who　was　so　officious　to　help　me；　that　I　uncharitably　
thought　him　mighty　glad　that　I　was　going。　

I　got　away　from　Agnes　and　her　father；　somehow；　with　an　
indifferent　show　of　being　very　manly；　and　took　my　seat　upon　the　
box　of　the　London　coach。　I　was　so　softened　and　forgiving；　going　
through　the　town；　that　I　had　half　a　mind　to　nod　to　my　old　enemy　
the　butcher；　and　throw　him　five　shillings　to　drink。　But　he　looked　
such　a　very　obdurate　butcher　as　he　stood　scraping　the　great　block　
in　the　shop；　and　moreover；　his　appearance　was　so　little　improved　
by　the　loss　of　a　front　tooth　which　I　had　knocked　out；　that　I　thought　
it　best　to　make　no　advances。　

The　main　object　on　my　mind；　I　remember；　when　we　got　fairly　
on　the　road；　was　to　appear　as　old　as　possible　to　the　coachman；　and　
to　speak　extremely　gruff。　The　latter　point　I　achieved　at　great　
personal　inconvenience；　but　I　stuck　to　it；　because　I　felt　it　was　a　
grown…up　sort　of　thing。　

‘You　are　going　through；　sir？’　said　the　coachman。　

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‘Yes；　William；’　I　said；　condescendingly　（I　knew　him）；　‘I　am　going　
to　London。　I　shall　go　down　into　Suffolk　afterwards。’　

‘Shooting；　sir？’　said　the　coachman。　

He　knew　as　well　as　I　did　that　it　was　just　as　likely；　at　that　time　of　
year；　I　was　going　down　there　whaling；　but　I　felt　complimented；　
too。　

‘I　don’t　know；’　I　said；　pretending　to　be　undecided；　‘whether　I　
shall　take　a　shot　or　not。’　

‘Birds　is　got　wery　shy；　I’m　told；’　said　William。　

‘So　I　understand；’　said　I。　

‘Is　Suffolk　your　county；　sir？’　asked　William。　

‘Yes；’　I　said；　with　some　importance。　‘Suffolk’s　my　county。’　

‘I’m　told　the　dumplings　is　uncommon　fine　down　there；’　said　
William。　

I　was　not　aware　of　it　myself；　but　I　felt　it　necessary　to　uphold　the　
institutions　of　my　county；　and　to　evince　a　familiarity　with　them；　so　
I　shook　my　head；　as　much　as　to　say；　‘I　believe　you！’　

‘And　the　Punches；’　said　William。　‘There’s　cattle！　A　Suffolk　
Punch；　when　he’s　a　good　un；　is　worth　his　weight　in　gold。　Did　you　
ever　breed　any　Suffolk　Punches　yourself；　sir？’　

‘N…no；’　I　said；　‘not　exactly。’　

‘Here’s　a　gen’lm’n　behind　me；　I’ll　pound　it；’　said　William；　‘as　has　
bred　’em　by　wholesale。’　

The　gentleman　spoken　of　was　a　gentleman　with　a　very　
unpromising　squint；　and　a　prominent　chin；　who　had　a　tall　white　
hat　on　with　a　narrow　flat　brim；　and　whose　close…fitting　drab　
trousers　seemed　to　button　all　the　way　up　outside　his　legs　from　his　
boots　to　his　hips。　His　chin　was　cocked　over　the　coachman’s　
shoulder；　so　near　to　me；　that　his　breath　quite　tickled　the　back　of　

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my　head；　and　as　I　looked　at　him；　he　leered　at　the　leaders　with　the　

eye　with　which　he　did