the idle thoughts of an idle fellow[1].(一个浪子的随想)-第33章
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have lost； and the happiness that comes to us we heed not； because of the
happiness that is gone。
Years ago； when I used to wander of an evening from the fireside to
the pleasant land of fairy…tales； I met a doughty knight and true。 Many
dangers had he overcome； in many lands had been； and all men knew him
for a brave and well…tried knight； and one that knew not fear； except；
maybe； upon such seasons when even a brave man might feel afraid and
yet not be ashamed。 Now； as this knight one day was pricking wearily
along a toilsome road； his heart misgave him and was sore within him
because of the trouble of the way。 Rocks； dark and of a monstrous size；
hung high above his head； and like enough it seemed unto the knight that
they should fall and he lie low beneath them。 Chasms there were on either
side； and darksome caves wherein fierce robbers lived； and dragons； very
terrible； whose jaws dripped blood。 And upon the road there hung a
darkness as of night。 So it came over that good knight that he would no
more press forward； but seek another road； less grievously beset with
difficulty unto his gentle steed。 But when in haste he turned and looked
behind； much marveled our brave knight； for lo！ of all the way that he had
ridden there was naught for eye to see； but at his horse's heels there
yawned a mighty gulf； whereof no man might ever spy the bottom； so
deep was that same gulf。 Then when Sir Ghelent saw that of going back
there was none； he prayed to good Saint Cuthbert； and setting spurs into
his steed rode forward bravely and most joyously。 And naught harmed
him。
There is no returning on the road of life。 The frail bridge of time on
which we tread sinks back into eternity at every step we take。 The past is
gone from us forever。 It is gathered in and garnered。 It belongs to us no
more。 No single word can ever be unspoken； no single step retraced。
Therefore it beseems us as true knights to prick on bravely； not idly weep
because we cannot now recall。
A new life begins for us with every second。 Let us go forward joyously
to meet it。 We must press on whether we will or no； and we shall walk
better with our eyes before us than with them ever cast behind。
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THE IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW。
A friend came to me the other day and urged me very eloquently to
learn some wonderful system by which you never forgot anything。 I don't
know why he was so eager on the subject； unless it be that I occasionally
borrow an umbrella and have a knack of coming out； in the middle of a
game of whist； with a mild 〃Lor！ I've been thinking all along that clubs
were trumps。〃 I declined the suggestion； however； in spite of the
advantages he so attractively set forth。 I have no wish to remember
everything。 There are many things in most men's lives that had better be
forgotten。 There is that time； many years ago； when we did not act quite as
honorably； quite as uprightly； as we perhaps should have donethat
unfortunate deviation from the path of strict probity we once committed；
and in which； more unfortunate still； we were found outthat act of folly；
of meanness； of wrong。 Ah； well！ we paid the penalty； suffered the
maddening hours of vain remorse； the hot agony of shame； the scorn；
perhaps； of those we loved。 Let us forget。 Oh； Father Time； lift with your
kindly hands those bitter memories from off our overburdened hearts； for
griefs are ever coming to us with the coming hours； and our little strength
is only as the day。
Not that the past should be buried。 The music of life would be mute if
the chords of memory were snapped asunder。 It is but the poisonous weeds；
not the flowers； that we should root out from the garden of Mnemosyne。
Do you remember Dickens' 〃Haunted Man〃how he prayed for
forgetfulness； and how； when his prayer was answered； he prayed for
memory once more？ We do not want all the ghosts laid。 It is only the
haggard； cruel…eyed specters that we flee from。 Let the gentle； kindly
phantoms haunt us as they will； we are not afraid of them。
Ah me！ the world grows very full of ghosts as we grow older。 We need
not seek in dismal church…yards nor sleep in moated granges to see the
shadowy faces and hear the rustling of their garments in the night。 Every
house； every room； every creaking chair has its own particular ghost。 They
haunt the empty chambers of our lives； they throng around us like dead
leaves whirled in the autumn wind。 Some are living； some are dead。 We
know not。 We clasped their hands once； loved them； quarreled with them；
laughed with them； told them our thoughts and hopes and aims； as they
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THE IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW。
told us theirs； till it seemed our very hearts had joined in a grip that would
defy the puny power of Death。 They are gone now； lost to us forever。
Their eyes will never look into ours again and their voices we shall never
hear。 Only their ghosts come to us and talk with us。 We see them； dim and
shadowy； through our tears。 We stretch our yearning hands to them； but
they are air。
Ghosts！ They are with us night and day。 They walk beside us in the
busy street under the glare of the sun。 They sit by us in the twilight at
home。 We see their little faces looking from the windows of the old
school…house。 We meet them in the woods and lanes where we shouted
and played as boys。 Hark！ cannot you hear their low laughter from behind
the blackberry…bushes and their distant whoops along the grassy glades？
Down here； through the quiet fields and by the wood； where the evening
shadows are lurking； winds the path where we used to watch for her at
sunset。 Look； she is there now； in the dainty white frock we knew so well；
with the big bonnet dangling from her little hands and the sunny brown
hair all tangled。 Five thousand miles away！ Dead for all we know！ What of
that？ She is beside us now； and we can look into her laughing eyes and
hear her voice。 She will vanish at the stile by the wood and we shall be
alone； and the shadows will creep out across the fields and the night wind
will sweep past moaning。 Ghosts！ they are always with us and always will
be while the sad old world keeps echoing to the sob of long good…bys；
while the cruel ships sail away across the great seas； and the cold green
earth lies heavy on the hearts of those we loved。
But； oh； ghosts； the world would be sadder still without you。 Come to
us and speak to us； oh you ghosts of our old loves！ Ghosts of playmates；
and of sweethearts； and old friends； of all you laughing boys and girls； oh；
come to us and be with us； for the world is very lonely； and new friends
and faces are not like the old； and we cannot love them； nay； nor laugh
with them as we have loved and laughed with you。 And when we walked
together； oh； ghosts of our youth； the world was very gay and bright； but
now it has grown old and we are growing weary； and only you can bring
the brightness an
