a treatise on parents and children(父母与子女专题研究)-第8章
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jokes； hopelessness； evasion； derision； cowardice； and all the blackguard's
shifts by which the coward intimidates other cowards。 And if I had been
a boarder at an English public school instead of a day boy at an Irish one； I
might have had to add to these； deeper shames still。
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A TREATISE ON PARENTS AND CHILDREN
Schoolmasters of Genius
And now； if I have reduced the ghosts of my schoolmasters to
melancholy acquiescence in all this （which everybody who has been at an
ordinary school will recognize as true）； I have still to meet the much more
sincere protests of the handful of people who have a natural genius for
〃bringing up〃 children。 I shall be asked with kindly scorn whether I have
heard of Froebel and Pestalozzi； whether I know the work that is being
done by Miss Mason and the Dottoressa Montessori or； best of all as I
think； the Eurythmics School of Jacques Dalcroze at Hellerau near
Dresden。 Jacques Dalcroze； like Plato； believes in saturating his pupils
with music。 They walk to music； play to music； work to music； obey
drill commands that would bewilder a guardsman to music； think to music；
live to music； get so clearheaded about music that they can move their
several limbs each in a different metre until they become complicated
living magazines of cross rhythms； and； what is more； make music for
others to do all these things to。 Stranger still； though Jacques Dalcroze；
like all these great teachers； is the completest of tyrants； knowing what is
right and that he must and will have the lesson just so or else break his
heart （not somebody else's； observe）； yet his school is so fascinating that
every woman who sees it exclaims 〃Oh； why was I not taught like this！〃
and elderly gentlemen excitedly enrol themselves as students and distract
classes of infants by their desperate endeavors to beat two in a bar with
one hand and three with the other； and start off on earnest walks round the
room； taking two steps backward whenever Monsieur Daleroze calls out
〃Hop！〃 Oh yes： I know all about these wonderful schools that you
cannot keep children or even adults out of； and these teachers whom their
pupils not only obey without coercion； but adore。 And if you will tell me
roughly how many Masons and Montessoris and Dalcrozes you think you
can pick up in Europe for salaries of from thirty shillings to five pounds a
week； I will estimate your chances of converting your millions of little
scholastic hells into little scholastic heavens。 If you are a distressed
gentlewoman starting to make a living； you can still open a little school；
and you can easily buy a secondhand brass plate inscribed
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A TREATISE ON PARENTS AND CHILDREN
PESTALOZZIAN INSTITUTE and nail it to your door； though you have
no more idea of who Pestalozzi was and what he advocated or how he did
it than the manager of a hotel which began as a Hydropathic has of the
water cure。 Or you can buy a cheaper plate inscribed KINDERGARTEN；
and imagine； or leave others to imagine； that Froebel is the governing
genius of your little _creche_。 No doubt the new brass plates are being
inscribed Montessori Institute； and will be used when the Dotteressa is no
longer with us by all the Mrs Pipchins and Mrs Wilfers throughout this
unhappy land。
I will go further； and admit that the brass plates may not all be frauds。
I will tell you that one of my friends was led to genuine love and
considerable knowledge of classical literature by an Irish schoolmaster
whom you would call a hedge schoolmaster （he would not be allowed to
teach anything now） and that it took four years of Harrow to obliterate that
knowledge and change the love into loathing。 Another friend of mine who
keeps a school in the suburbs； and who deeply deplores my 〃prejudice
against schoolmasters；〃 has offered to accept my challenge to tell his
pupils that they are as free to get up and go out of the school at any
moment as their parents are to get up and go out of a theatre where my
plays are being performed。 Even among my own schoolmasters I can
recollect a few whose classes interested me； and whom I should certainly
have pestered for information and instruction if I could have got into any
decent human relationship with them； and if they had not been compelled
by their position to defend themselves as carefully against such advances
as against furtive attempts to hurt them accidentally in the football field or
smash their hats with a clod from behind a wall。 But these rare cases
actually do more harm than good； for they encourage us to pretend that all
schoolmasters are like that。 Of what use is it to us that there are always
somewhere two or three teachers of children whose specific genius for
their occupation triumphs over our tyrannous system and even finds in it
its opportunity？ For that matter； it is possible； if difficult； to find a
solicitor； or even a judge； who has some notion of what law means； a
doctor with a glimmering of science； an officer who understands duty and
discipline； and a clergyman with an inkling of religion； though there are
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nothing like enough of them to go round。 But even the few who； like
Ibsen's Mrs Solness； have 〃a genius for nursing the souls of little children〃
are like angels forced to work in prisons instead of in heaven； and even at
that they are mostly underpaid and despised。 That friend of mine who
went from the hedge schoolmaster to Harrow once saw a schoolmaster
rush from an elementary school in pursuit of a boy and strike him。 My
friend； not considering that the unfortunate man was probably goaded
beyond endurance； smote the schoolmaster and blackened his eye。 The
schoolmaster appealed to the law； and my friend found himself waiting
nervously in the Hammersmith Police Court to answer for his breach of
the peace。 In his anxiety he asked a police officer what would happen to
him。 〃What did you do？〃 said the officer。 〃I gave a man a black eye〃
said my friend。 〃Six pounds if he was a gentleman： two pounds if he
wasnt；〃 said the constable。 〃He was a schoolmaster〃 said my friend。
〃Two pounds〃 said the officer； and two pounds it was。 The blood money
was paid cheerfully； and I have ever since advised elementary
schoolmasters to qualify themselves in the art of self…defence； as the
British Constitution expresses our national estimate of them by allowing
us to blacken three of their eyes for the same price as one of an ordinary
professional man。 How many Froebels and Pestalozzis and Miss Masons
and Doctoress Montessoris would you be likely to get on these terms even
