lavengro-第115章
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'Heard of it before; I suppose not; how should you have heard of it
before? By the bye; can you read?'
'Very tolerably;' said I; 'so there are fairies in this book。 What
do you call it … the BARDD CWSG?'
'Yes; the BARDD CWSG。 You pronounce Welsh very fairly; have you
ever been in Wales?'
'Never;' said I。
'Not been in Wales; then; of course; you don't understand Welsh;
but we were talking of the BARDD CWSG … yes; there are fairies in
the BARDD CWSG; … the author of it; Master Ellis Wyn; was carried
away in his sleep by them over mountains and valleys; rivers and
great waters; incurring mighty perils at their hands; till he was
rescued from them by an angel of the Most High; who subsequently
showed him many wonderful things。'
'I beg your pardon;' said I; 'but what were those wonderful
things?'
'I see; young man;' said Peter; smiling; 'that you are not without
curiosity; but I can easily pardon any one for being curious about
the wonders contained in the book of Master Ellis Wyn。 The angel
showed him the course of this world; its pomps and vanities; its
cruelty and its pride; its crimes and deceits。 On another
occasion; the angel showed him Death in his nether palace;
surrounded by his grisly ministers; and by those who are
continually falling victims to his power。 And; on a third
occasion; the state of the condemned in their place of everlasting
torment。'
'But this was all in his sleep;' said I; 'was it not?'
'Yes;' said Peter; 'in his sleep; and on that account the book is
called GWELEDIGAETHAU Y BARDD CWSG; or; VISIONS OF THE SLEEPING
BARD。'
'I do not care for wonders which occur in sleep;' said I。 'I
prefer real ones; and perhaps; notwithstanding what he says; the
man had no visions at all … they are probably of his own
invention。'
'They are substantially true; young man;' said Peter; 'like the
dreams of Bunyan; they are founded on three tremendous facts; Sin;
Death; and Hell; and like his they have done incalculable good; at
least in my own country; in the language of which they are written。
Many a guilty conscience has the BARDD CWSG aroused with its
dreadful sights; its strong sighs; its puffs of smoke from the pit;
and its showers of sparks from the mouth of the yet lower gulf of …
Unknown … were it not for the BARDD CWSG perhaps I might not be
here。'
'I would sooner hear your own tale;' said I; 'than all the visions
of the BARDD CWSG。'
Peter shook; bent his form nearly double; and covered his face with
his hands。 I sat still and motionless; with my eyes fixed upon
him。 Presently Winifred descended the hill; and joined us。 'What
is the matter?' said she; looking at her husband; who still
remained in the posture I have described。 He made no answer;
whereupon; laying her hand gently on his shoulder; she said; in the
peculiar soft and tender tone which I had heard her use on a former
occasion; 'Take comfort; Peter; what has happened now to afflict
thee?' Peter removed his hand from his face。 'The old pain; the
old pain;' said he; 'I was talking with this young man; and he
would fain know what brought me here; he would fain hear my tale;
Winifred … my sin: O pechod Ysprydd Glan! O pechod Ysprydd Glan!'
and the poor man fell into a more fearful agony than before。 Tears
trickled down Winifred's face; I saw them trickling by the
moonlight; as she gazed upon the writhing form of her afflicted
husband。 I arose from my seat。 'I am the cause of all this;' said
I; 'by my folly and imprudence; and it is thus I have returned your
kindness and hospitality; I will depart from you and wander my
way。' I was retiring; but Peter sprang up and detained me。 'Go
not;' said he; 'you were not in fault; if there be any fault in the
case it was mine; if I suffer; I am but paying the penalty of my
own iniquity'; he then paused; and appeared to be considering: at
length he said; 'Many things which thou hast seen and heard
connected with me require explanation; thou wishest to know my
tale; I will tell it thee; but not now; not to…night; I am too much
shaken。'
Two evenings later; when we were again seated beneath the oak;
Peter took the hand of his wife in his own; and then; in tones
broken and almost inarticulate; commenced telling me his tale … the
tale of the Pechod Ysprydd Glan。
CHAPTER LXXV
Taking a cup … Getting to heaven … After breakfast … Wooden
gallery … Mechanical habit … Reserved and gloomy … Last words … A
long time … From the clouds … Ray of hope … Momentary chill …
Pleasing anticipation。
'I WAS born in the heart of North Wales; the son of a respectable
farmer; and am the youngest of seven brothers。
'My father was a member of the Church of England; and was what is
generally called a serious man。 He went to church regularly; and
read the Bible every Sunday evening; in his moments of leisure he
was fond of holding religious discourse both with his family and
his neighbours。
'One autumn afternoon; on a week day; my father sat with one of his
neighbours taking a cup of ale by the oak table in our stone
kitchen。 I sat near them; and listened to their discourse。 I was
at that time seven years of age。 They were talking of religious
matters。 〃It is a hard matter to get to heaven;〃 said my father。
〃Exceedingly so;〃 said the other。 〃However; I don't despond; none
need despair of getting to heaven; save those who have committed
the sin against the Holy Ghost。〃
'〃Ah!〃 said my father; 〃thank God I never committed that … how
awful must be the state of a person who has committed the sin
against the Holy Ghost。 I can scarcely think of it without my hair
standing on end〃; and then my father and his friend began talking
of the nature of the sin against the Holy Ghost; and I heard them
say what it was; as I sat with greedy ears listening to their
discourse。
'I lay awake the greater part of the night musing upon what I had
heard。 I kept wondering to myself what must be the state of a
person who had committed the sin against the Holy Ghost; and how he
must feel。 Once or twice I felt a strong inclination to commit it;
a strange kind of fear; however; prevented me; at last I determined
not to commit it; and; having said my prayers; I fell asleep。
'When I awoke in the morning the first thing I thought of was the
mysterious sin; and a voice within me seemed to say; 〃Commit it〃;
and I felt a strong temptation to do so; even stronger than in the
night。 I was just about to yield; when the same dread; of which I
have already spoken; came over me; and; springing out of bed; I
went down on my knees。 I slept in a small room alone; to which I
ascended by a wooden stair; open to the sky。 I have often thought
since that it is not a good thing for children to sleep alone。
'After breakfast I went to school; and endeavoured to employ myself
upon my tasks; but all in vain; I could think of nothing but the
sin against the Holy Ghost; my eyes; instead of being fixed upon my
book; wandered in vacancy。 My master observed my inattention; and
chid me。 The time came for saying my task; and I had not acquired
it。 My master reproached me; and; yet more; he beat me; I felt
shame and anger; and I went home with a full determination to
commit the sin against the Holy Ghost。
'But when I got home my father ordered me to do something connected
with the farm; so that I was compelled to exert myself; I was
occupied till night; and was so busy that I almost forgot the sin
and my late resolution。 My work completed; I took my supper; and
went to my room; I began my prayers; and; when they were ended; I
thought of the sin; but the temptation was slight; I felt very
tired; and was presently asleep。
'Thus; you see; I had plenty of time allotted me by a gracious and