the book of snobs-第48章

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living　when　it　falls　convenient。　　These　prizes　our

admirable　Constitution　（the　pride　and　envy　of；　&c。）

pronounces　to　be　your　due：　without　count　of　your　dulness；

your　vices；　your　selfishness；　or　your　entire　incapacity

and　folly。　　Dull　as　you　may　be　（and　we　have　as　good　a

right　to　assume　that　my　lord　is　an　ass；　as　the　other

proposition；　that　he　is　an　enlightened　patriot）；dull；　I

say；　as　you　may　be；　no　one　will　accuse　you　of　such

monstrous　folly；　as　to　suppose　that　you　are　indifferent

to　the　good　luck　which　you　possess；　or　have　any

inclination　to　part　with　it。　　Noand　patriots　as　we　are；

under　happier　circumstances；　Smith　and　I；　I　have　no

doubt；　were　we　dukes　ourselves；　would　stand　by　our　order。



We　would　submit　good…naturedly　to　sit　in　a　high　place。

We　would　acquiesce　in　that　admirable　Constitution　（pride

and　envy　of；　&c。）　which　made　us　chiefs　and　the　world　our

inferiors；　we　would　not　cavil　particularly　at　that　notion

of　hereditary　superiority　which　brought　many　simple

people　cringing　to　our　knees。　　May　be　we　would　rally

round　the　Corn…Laws；　we　would　make　a　stand　against　the

Reform　Bill；　we　would　die　rather　than　repeal　the　Acts

against　Catholics　and　Dissenters；　we　would；　by　our　noble

system　of　class…legislation；　bring　Ireland　to　its　present

admirable　condition。



But　Smith　and　I　are　not　Earls　as　yet。　　'We　don't　believe

that　it　is　for　the　interest　of　Smith's　army　that　De　Bray

should　be　a　Colonel　at　five…and…twenty；　of　Smith's

diplomatic　relations　that　Lord　Longears　should　go

Ambassador　to　Constantinople；of　our　politics；　that

Longears　should　put　his　hereditary　foot　into　them。



This　bowing　and　cringing　Smith　believes　to　be　the　act　of

Snobs；　and　he　will　do　all　in　his　might　and　main　to　be　a

Snob　and　to　submit　to　Snobs　no　longer。　　To　Longears　he

says；　'We　can't　help　seeing；　Longears；　that　we　are　as

good　as　you。　　We　can　spell　even　better；　can　think　quite

as　rightly；　we　will　not　have　you　for　our　master；　or　black

your　shoes　any　more。　　Your　footmen　do　it；　but　they　are

paid；　and　the　fellow　who　comes　to　get　a　list　of　the

company　when　you　give　a　banquet　or　a　dancing　breakfast　at

Longueoreille　House；　gets　money　from　the　newspapers　for

performing　that　service。　　But　for　us；　thank　you　for

nothing；　Longears　my　boy；　and　we　don't　wish　to　pay　you

any　more　than　we　owe。　　We　will　take　off　our　hats　to

Wellington　because　he　is　Wellington；　but　to　youwho　are

you？〃



I　am　sick　of　COURT　CIRCULARS。　　I　loathe　HAUT…TON

intelligence。　　I　believe　such　words　as　Fashionable；

Exclusive；　Aristocratic；　and　the　like；　to　be　wicked；

unchristian　epithets；　that　ought　to　be　banished　from

honest　vocabularies。　　A　Court　system　that　sends　men　of

genius　to　the　second　table；　I　hold　to　be　a　Snobbish

system。　　A　society　that　sets　up　to　be　polite；　and　ignores

Arts　and　Letters；　I　hold　to　be　a　Snobbish　society。　　You；

who　despise　your　neighbour；　are　a　Snob；　you；　who　forget

your　own　friends；　meanly　to　follow　after　those　of　a

higher　degree；　are　a　Snob；　you；　who　are　ashamed　of　your

poverty；　and　blush　for　your　calling；　are　a　Snob；　as　are

you　who　boast　of　your　pedigree；　or　are　proud　of　your

wealth。



To　laugh　at　such　is　MR。　PUNCH'S　business。　　May　he　laugh

honestly；　hit　no　foul　blow；　and　tell　the　truth　when　at

his　very　broadest　grinnever　forgetting　that　if　Fun　is

good；　Truth　is　still　better；　and　Love　best　of　all。











End