why go to college-第3章

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letter。　　The　basis　of　all　valuable　and　enduring　friendships　is　not
accident　or　juxtaposition；　but　tastes；　interests；　habits；　work；
ambitions。　　It　is　for　this　reason　that　to　college　friendship　clings
a　romance　entirely　its　own。　　One　of　the　friends　may　spend　her
days　in　the　laboratory；　eagerly　chasing　the　shy　facts　that　hide
beyond　the　microscope's　fine　vision；　and　the　other　may　fill　her
hours　and　her　heart　with　the　poets　and　the　philosophers；　one　may
steadfastly　pursue　her　way　toward　the　command　of　a　hospital；　and
the　other　towards　the　world　of　letters　and　of　art；　these　divergences
constitute　no　barrier；　but　rather　an　aid　to　the　fulness　of　friendship。
And　the　fact　that　one　goes　in　a　simple　gown　which　she　has　earned
and　made　herself；　and　the　other　lives　when　at　home　in　a　merchant's
modern　palacewhat　has　that　to　do　with　the　things　the　girls　care
about　and　the　dreams　they　talk　over　in　the　walk　by　the　river　or
the　bicycle　ride　through　country　roads？　　If　any　young　man　to…day
goes　through　Harvard　lonely；　neglected；　unfriended；　if　any　girl
lives　solitary　and　wretched　in　her　life　at　Wellesley；　it　is　their
own　fault。　　It　must　be　because　they　are　suspicious；　unfriendly
or　disagreeable　themselves。　　Certainly　it　is　true　that　in　the
associations　of　college　life；　more　than　in　any　other　that　the　country
can　show；　what　is　extraneous；　artificial；　and　temporary　falls　away；
and　the　every…day　relations　of　life　and　work　take　on　a　character　that
is　simple；　natural；　genuine。　　And　so　it　comes　about　that　the　fourth
gift　of　college　life　is　ideals　of　personal　character。

To　some　people　the　shaping　ideals　of　what　character　should　be；
often　held　unconsciously；　come　from　the　books　they　are　given　by
the　persons　whom　they　most　admire　before　they　are　twenty　years
old。　　The　greatest　thing　any　friend　or　teacher；　either　in　school
or　college；　can　do　for　a　student　is　to　furnish　him　with　a　personal
ideal。　　The　college　professors　who　transformed　me　through　my
acquaintance　with　themah；　they　were　few；　and　I　am　sure　I　did
not　have　a　dozen　conversations　with　them　outside　their　class
roomsgave　me；　each　in　his　different　way；　an　ideal　of　character；
of　conduct；　of　the　scholar；　the　leader；　of　which　they　and　I　were
totally　unconscious　at　the　time。　　For　many　years　I　have　known
that　my　study　with　them；　no　matter　whether　of　philosophy　or　of
Greek；　of　mathematics　or　history　or　English；　enlarged　my　notions
of　life；　uplifted　my　standards　of　culture；　and　so　inspired　me　with
new　possibilities　of　usefulness　and　of　happiness。　　Not　the　facts
and　theories　that　I　learned　so　much　as　the　men　who　taught　me；　gave
this　inspiration。　　The　community　at　large　is　right　in　saying　that
it　wants　the　personal　influence　of　professors　on　students；　but
it　is　wholly　wrong　in　assuming　that　this　precious　influence　comes
from　frequent　meetings　or　talks　on　miscellaneous　subjects。　　There
is　quite　as　likely　to　be　a　quickening　force　in　the　somewhat　remote
and　mysterious　power　of　the　teacher　who　devotes　himself　to　amassing
treasures　of　scholarship；　or　to　patiently　working　out　the　best
methods　of　teaching；　who　standing　somewhat　apart；　still　remains
an　ideal　of　the　Christian　scholar；　the　just；　the　courteous　man　or
woman。　　To　come　under　the　influence　of　one　such　teacher　is　enough
to　make　college　life　worthwhile。　　A　young　man　who　came　to　Harvard
with　eighty　cents　in　his　pocket；　and　worked　his　way　through；　never
a　high　scholar；　and　now　in　a　business　which　looks　very　commonplace；
told　me　the　other　day　that　he　would　not　care　to　be　alive　if　he
had　not　gone　to　college。　　His　face　flushed　as　he　explained　how
different　his　days　would　have　been　if　he　had　not　known　two　of　his
professors。　　〃Do　you　use　your　college　studies　in　your　business？〃
I　asked。　　〃Oh；　no！〃　he　answered。　　〃But　I　am　another　man　in　doing
the　business；　and　when　the　day's　work　is　done　I　live　another　life
because　of　my　college　experiences。　　The　business　and　I　are　both
the　better　for　it　every　day。〃　　How　many　a　young　girl　has　had　her
whole　horizon　extended　by　the　changed　ideals　she　gained　in　college！
Yet　this　is　largely　because　the　associations　and　studies　there
are　likely　to　give　her　permanent　intereststhe　fifth　and　perhaps
the　greatest　gift　of　college　life　of　which　I　shall　speak。

The　old　fairy　story　which　charmed　us　in　childhood　ended　with〃And
they　were　married　and　lived　happy　ever　after。〃　　It　conducted　to
the　altar；　having　brought　the　happy　pair　through　innumerable
difficulties；　and　left　us　with　the　contented　sense　that　all　the
mistakes　and　problems　would　now　vanish　and　life　be　one　long　day
of　unclouded　bliss。　　I　have　seen　devoted　and　intelligent　mothers
arrange　their　young　daughters'　education　and　companionships
precisely　on　this　basis。　　They　planned　as　if　these　pretty　and
charming　girls　were　going　to　live　only　twenty　or　twenty…five　years
at　the　utmost；　and　had　consequently　no　need　of　the　wealthy　interests
that　should　round　out　the　full…grown　woman's　stature；　making　her
younger　in　feeling　at　forty　than　at　twenty；　and　more　lovely　and
admired　at　eighty　than　at　either。

Emerson　in　writing　of　beauty　declares　that　〃the　secret　of　ugliness
consists　not　in　irregular　outline；　but　in　being　uninteresting。　　We
love　any　forms；　however　ugly；　from　which　great　qualities　shine。
If　command；　eloquence；　art；　or　invention　exists　in　the　most
deformed　person；　all　the　accidents　that　usually　displease；　please；
and　raise　esteem　and　wonder　higher。　　Beauty　without　grace　is　the
head　without　the　body。　　Beauty　without　expression　tires。〃　　Of
course　such　considerations　can　hardly　come　with　full　force　to　the
young　girl　herself；　who　feels　aged　at　eighteen；　and　imagines　that
the　troubles　and　problems　of　life　and　thought　are　hers　already。
〃Oh；　tell　me　to…night；〃　cried　a　college　freshman　once　to　her
President；　〃which　is　the　right　side　and　which　is　the　wrong　side　of
this　Andover　question　about　eschatology？〃　　The　young　girl　is
impatient　of　open　questions；　and　irritated　at　her　inability　to
answer　them。　　Neither　can　she　believe　that　the　first　headlong　zest
with　which　she　throws　herself　into　society；　athletics；　into
everything　which　comes　in　her　way；　can　ever　fail。　　But　her　elders
know；　looking　on；　that　our　American　girl；　the　commrade　of　her
parents　and　of　her　brothers　and　their　friends；　brought　up　from
babyhood　in　the　eager　talk　of　politics　and　society；　of　religious
belief；　of　public　action；　of　social　responsibilitythat　this
typical　girl；　with　her　quick　sympathies；　her　clear　head；　her　warm
heart；　her　outreaching　hands；　will　not　permanently　be　satisfied
or　self…respecting；　though　she　have　the　prettiest　dresses　and
hats　in　town；　or　the　most　charming　of　dinners；　dances；　and　teas。
Unless　there　comes　to　her；　and　comes　early；　the　one　chief　happiness
of　life；a　marriage　of　comradeship；she　must　face　for　herself
the　question；　〃What　shall　I　do　with　my　life？〃

I　recall　a　superb　girl　of　twenty　as　I　overtook　her　one　winter
morning　hurrying　along　Commonwealth　Avenue。　　She　spoke　of　a
brilliant　party　at　a　friend's　the　previous　evening。　　〃But；　oh！〃
she　cried；　throwing　up　her　hands　in　a　kind　of　hopeless　impatience；
〃tell　me　what　to　do。　　My　dancing　days　are　over！〃　　I　laughed　at　her；
〃Have　you　sprained　your　ankle？〃　　But　I　saw　I　had　made　a　mistake
when　she　added；　〃It　is　no　laughing　matter。　　I　have　been　out　three
years。　　I　have　not　done　what　they　expected　of　me；〃　with　a　flush
and　a　shrug；　〃and　there　is　a　crowd　of　nice　girls　coming　on　this
winter；　and　anyway；　I　am　so　tired　of　going　to　teas　and　ball…games
and　assemblies！　　I　don't　care　the　least　in　the　world　for　foreign
missions；　and；〃　with　a　stamp；　〃I　am　not　going　slumming　among
the　Italians。　　I　have　too　much　respect　for　the　Italians。　　And　what
shall　I　do　with　the　rest　of　my　life？〃　　That　was　a　frank　statement
of　what　any　girl　of　brains　or　conscience　feels；　with　more　or　less
bitter　distinctness；　unless　she　marries　early；　or　has　some　pressing
work　for　which　she　is　well　trained。

Yet　even　if　that　which　is　the　profession　of　woman　par　excellence
be　hers；　how　can　she　be　perennially　so　interesting　a　companion
to　her　husband　and　children　as　if　she　had　keen　personal　tastes；
long　her　own；　and　growing　with　her　growth？　　Indeed；　in　that　respect
the　condition　of　men　is　a