burlesques-第16章

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Humpington；　his　friend　old　Sir　John　Fogey；　and　her　cousin；　the

odious；　odious　Borodino。



The　Prince　de　Borodino　declared　openly　that　Amethyst　was　engaged　to

him。　　Crible　de　dettes；　it　is　no　wonder　that　he　should　choose　such

an　opportunity　to　refaire　sa　fortune。　　He　gave　out　that　he　would

kill　any　man　who　should　cast　an　eye　on　the　heiress；　and　the　monster

kept　his　word。　　Major　Grigg；　of　the　Lifeguards；　had　already　fallen

by　his　hand　at　Ostend。　　The　O'Toole；　who　had　met　her　on　the　Rhine；

had　received　a　ball　in　his　shoulder　at　Coblentz；　and　did　not　care

to　resume　so　dangerous　a　courtship。　　Borodino　could　snuff　a　bougie

at　a　hundred　and　fifty　yards。　　He　could　beat　Bertrand　or　Alexander

Dumas　himself　with　the　small…sword：　he　was　the　dragon　that　watched

this　pomme　d'or；　and　very　few　persons　were　now　inclined　to　face　a

champion　si　redoutable。



Over　a　salmi　d'escargot　at　the　〃Coventry；〃　the　dandies　whom　we

introduced　in　our　last　volume　were　assembled；　there　talking　of　the

heiress；　and　her　story　was　told　by　Franklin　Fox　to　Lord　Bagnigge；

who；　for　a　wonder；　was　interested　in　the　tale。　　Borodino's

pretensions　were　discussed；　and　the　way　in　which　the　fair　Amethyst

was　confined。　　Fitzbattleaxe　House；　in　Belgrave　Square；　isas

everybody　knowsthe　next　mansion　to　that　occupied　by　Amethyst。　　A

communication　was　made　between　the　two　houses。　　She　never　went　out

except　accompanied　by　the　duchess's　guard；　which　it　was　impossible

to　overcome。



〃Impossible！　　Nothing's　impossible；〃　said　Lord　Bagnigge。



〃I　bet　you　what　you　like　you　don't　get　in；〃　said　the　young　Marquis

of　Martingale。



〃I　bet　you　a　thousand　ponies　I　stop　a　week　in　the　heiress's　house

before　the　season's　over；〃　Lord　Bagnigge　replied　with　a　yawn；　and

the　bet　was　registered　with　shouts　of　applause。



But　it　seemed　as　if　the　Fates　had　determined　against　Lord　Bagnigge；

for　the　very　next　day；　riding　in　the　Park；　his　horse　fell　with　him；

he　was　carried　home　to　his　house　with　a　fractured　limb　and　a

dislocated　shoulder；　and　the　doctor's　bulletins　pronounced　him　to

be　in　the　most　dangerous　state。





Martingale　was　a　married　man；　and　there　was　no　danger　of　HIS　riding

by　the　Fitzbattleaxe　carriage。　　A　fortnight　after　the　above　events；

his　lordship　was　prancing　by　her　Grace's　great　family　coach；　and

chattering　with　Lady　Gwinever　about　the　strange　wager。



〃Do　you　know　what　a　pony　is；　Lady　Gwinever？〃　he　asked。　　Her

ladyship　said　yes：　she　had　a　cream…colored　one　at　Castle　Barbican；

and　stared　when　Lord　Martingale　announced　that　he　should　soon　have

a　thousand　ponies；　worth　five…and…twenty　pounds　each；　which　were

all　now　kept　at　Coutts's。　　Then　he　explained　the　circumstances　of

the　bet　with　Bagnigge。　　Parliament　was　to　adjourn　in　ten　days；　the

season　would　be　over！　　Bagnigge　was　lying　ill　chez　lui；　and　the

five…and…twenty　thousand　were　irrecoverably　his。　　And　he　vowed　he

would　buy　Lord　Binnacle's　yachtcrew；　captain；　guns　and　all。



On　returning　home　that　night　from　Lady　Polkimore's；　Martingale

found　among　the　many　billets　upon　the　gold　plateau　in　his

antichambre；　the　following　brief　one；　which　made　him　start





〃DEAR　MARTINGALE。Don't　be　too　sure　of　Binnacle's　yacht。　　There

are　still　ten　days　before　the　season　is　over；　and　my　ponies　may　lie

at　Coutts's　for　some　time　to　come。



〃Yours；



〃BAGNIGGE。



〃P。　S。I　write　with　my　left　hand；　for　my　right　is　still　splintered

up　from　that　confounded　fall。〃





III。





The　tall　footman；　number　four；　who　had　come　in　the　place　of　John；

cashiered；　（for　want　of　proper　mollets；　and　because　his　hair　did

not　take　powder　well；）　had　given　great　satisfaction　to　the　under…

butler；　who　reported　well　of　him　to　his　chief；　who　had　mentioned

his　name　with　praise　to　the　house…steward。　　He　was　so　good…looking

and　well…spoken　a　young　man；　that　the　ladies　in　the　housekeeper's

room　deigned　to　notice　him　more　than　once；　nor　was　his　popularity

diminished　on　account　of　a　quarrel　in　which　he　engaged　with

Monsieur　Anatole；　the　enormous　Walloon　chasseur；　who　was　one　day

found　embracing　Miss　Flouncy；　who　waited　on　Amethyst's　own　maid。

The　very　instant　Miss　Flouncy　saw　Mr。　Jeames　entering　the　Servants'

Hall；　where　Monsieur　Anatole　was　engaged　in　〃aggravating〃　her；　Miss

Flouncy　screamed：　at　the　next　moment　the　Belgian　giant　lay

sprawling　upon　the　carpet；　and　Jeames；　standing　over　him；　assumed

so　terrible　a　look；　that　the　chasseur　declined　any　further　combat。

The　victory　was　made　known　to　the　house…steward　himself；　who；　being

a　little　partial　to　Miss　Flouncy　herself；　complimented　Jeames　on

his　valor；　and　poured　out　a　glass　of　Madeira　in　his　own　room。



Who　was　Jeames？　　He　had　come　recommended　by　the　Bagnigge　people。

He　had　lived；　he　said；　in　that　family　two　years。　　〃But　where　there

was　no　ladies；〃　he　said；　〃a　gentleman's　hand　was　spiled　for

service；〃　and　Jeames's　was　a　very　delicate　hand；　Miss　Flouncy

admired　it　very　much；　and　of　course　he　did　not　defile　it　by　menial

service：　he　had　in　a　young　man　who　called　him　sir；　and　did　all　the

coarse　work；　and　Jeames　read　the　morning　paper　to　the　ladies；　not

spellingly　and　with　hesitation；　as　many　gentlemen　do；　but　easily

and　elegantly；　speaking　off　the　longest　words　without　a　moment's

difficulty。　　He　could　speak　French；　too；　Miss　Flouncy　found；　who

was　studying　it　under　Mademoiselle　Grande　fille…de…chambre　de

confiance；　for　when　she　said　to　him；　〃Polly　voo　Fransy；　Munseer

Jeames？〃　he　replied　readily；　〃We；　Mademaselle；　j'ay　passay　boco　de

tong　a　Parry。　　Commong　voo　potty　voo？〃　　How　Miss　Flouncy　admired

him　as　he　stood　before　her；　the　day　after　he　had　saved　Miss

Amethyst　when　the　horses　had　run　away　with　her　in　the　Park！



Poor　Flouncy；　poor　Flouncy！　　Jeames　had　been　but　a　week　in

Amethyst's　service；　and　already　the　gentle　heart　of　the　washing…

girl　was　irrecoverably　gone！　　Poor　Flouncy！　　Poor　Flouncy！　he

thought　not　of　thee。



It　happened　thus。　　Miss　Amethyst　being　engaged　to　drive　with　her

cousin　the　prince　in　his　phaeton；　her　own　carriage　was　sent　into

the　Park　simply　with　her　companion；　who　had　charge　of　her　little

Fido；　the　dearest　little　spaniel　in　the　world。　　Jeames　and

Frederick　were　behind　the　carriage　with　their　long　sticks　and　neat

dark　liveries；　the　horses　were　worth　a　thousand　guineas　each；　the

coachman　a　late　lieutenant…colonel　of　cavalry：　the　whole　ring　could

not　boast　a　more　elegant　turn…out。



The　prince　drove　his　curricle；　and　had　charge　of　his　belle　cousine。

It　may　have　been　the　red　fezzes　in　the　carriage　of　the　Turkish

ambassador　which　frightened　the　prince's　grays；　or　Mrs。　Champignon's

new　yellow　liveries；　which　were　flaunting　in　the　Park；　or　hideous

Lady　Gorgon's　preternatural　ugliness；　who　passed　in　a　low

pony…carriage　at　the　time；　or　the　prince's　own　want　of　skill；

finally；　but　certain　it　is　that　the　horses　took　fright；　dashed

wildly　along　the　mile；　scattered　equipages；　pietons；　dandies'　cabs；

and　snobs'　pheaytons。　　Amethyst　was　screaming；　and　the　prince；

deadly　pale；　had　lost　all　presence　of　mind；　as　the　curricle　came

rushing　by　the　spot　where　Miss　Amethyst's　carriage　stood。



〃I'm　blest；〃　Frederick　exclaimed　to　his　companion；　〃if　it　ain't　the

prince　a…drivin　our　missis！　　They'll　be　in　the　Serpingtine；　or

dashed　to　pieces；　if　they　don't　mind。〃　　And　the　runaway　steeds　at

this　instant　came　upon　them　as　a　whirlwind。



But　if　those　steeds　ran　at　a　whirlwind　pace；　Jeames　was　swifter。

To　jump　from　behind；　to　bound　after　the　rocking；　reeling　curricle；

to　jump　into　it；　aided　by　the　long　stick　which　he　carried　and　used

as　a　leaping…pole；　and　to　seize　the　reins　out　of　the　hands　of　the

miserable　Borodino；　who　shrieked　piteously　as　the　dauntless　valet

leapt　on　his　toes　and　into　his　seat；　was　the　work　of　an　instant。

In　a　few　minutes　the　mad；　swaying　rush　of　the　horses　was　reduced　to

a　swift　but　steady　gallop；　presently　into　a　canter；　then　a　trot；

until　finally　they　pulled　up　smoking　and　trembling；　but　quite

quiet；　by