all roads lead to calvary-第51章

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o　pay　for　her　keep　at　a　private　lunatic　asylum。　　I　don't　mean　to　be　flippant。　　It's　the　very　absurdity　of　it　all　that　makes　the　mystery　of　lifethat　renders　it　so　hopeless　for　us　to　attempt　to　find　our　way　through　it　by　our　own　judgment。　　It　is　like　the　ants　making　all　their　clever；　laborious　plans；　knowing　nothing　of　chickens　and　the　gardener's　spade。　　That　is　why　we　have　to　cling　to　the　life　we　can　order　for　ourselvesthe　life　within　us。　　Truth；　Justice；　Pity。　　They　are　the　strong　things；　the　eternal　things；　the　things　we've　got　to　sacrifice　ourselves　forserve　with　our　bodies　and　our　souls。

〃Don't　think　me　a　prig；〃　she　pleaded。　　〃I'm　talking　as　if　I　knew　all　about　it。　　I　don't　really。　　I　grope　in　the　dark；　and　now　and　thenat　least　so　it　seems　to　meI　catch　a　glint　of　light。　　We　are　powerless　in　ourselves。　　It　is　only　God　working　through　us　that　enables　us　to　be　of　any　use。　　All　we　can　do　is　to　keep　ourselves　kind　and　clean　and　free　from　self；　waiting　for　Him　to　come　to　us。〃

The　girl　rose。　　〃I　must　be　getting　back；〃　she　said。　　〃Dad　will　be　wondering　where　I've　got　to。〃

She　paused　with　the　door　in　her　hand；　and　a　faint　smile　played　round　the　thin　red　lips。

〃Tell　me；〃　she　said。　　〃What　is　God？〃

〃A　Labourer；　together　with　man；　according　to　Saint　Paul；〃　Joan　answered。

The　girl　turned　and　went。　　Joan　watched　her　as　she　descended　the　great　staircase。　　She　moved　with　a　curious；　gliding　motion；　pausing　at　times　for　the　people　to　make　way　for　her。



CHAPTER　XVI



It　was　a　summer's　evening；　Joan　had　dropped　in　at　the　Greysons　and　had　found　Mary　alone；　Francis　not　having　yet　returned　from　a　bachelor　dinner　at　his　uncle's；　who　was　some　big　pot　in　the　Navy。　They　sat　in　the　twilight；　facing　the　open　French　windows；　through　which　one　caught　a　glimpse　of　the　park。　　A　great　stillness　seemed　to　be　around　them。

The　sale　and　purchase　of　the　Evening　Gazette　had　been　completed　a　few　days　before。　　Greyson　had　been　offered　the　alternative　of　gradually　and　gracefully　changing　his　opinions；　or　getting　out；　and　had；　of　course；　chosen　dismissal。　　He　was　taking　a　holiday；　as　Mary　explained　with　a　short　laugh。

〃He　had　some　shares　in　it　himself；　hadn't　he？〃　Joan　asked。

〃Oh；　just　enough　to　be　of　no　use；〃　Mary　answered。　　〃Carleton　was　rather　decent；　so　far　as　that　part　of　it　was　concerned；　and　insisted　on　paying　him　a　fair　price。　　The　market　value　would　have　been　much　less；　and　he　wanted　to　be　out　of　it。〃

Joan　remained　silent。　　It　made　her　mad；　that　a　man　could　be　suddenly　robbed　of　fifteen　years'　labour：　　the　weapon　that　his　heart　and　brain　had　made　keen　wrested　from　his　hand　by　a　legal　process；　and　turned　against　the　very　principles　for　which　all　his　life　he　had　been　fighting。

〃I'm　almost　more　sorry　for　myself　than　for　him；〃　said　Mary；　making　a　whimsical　grimace。　　〃He　will　start　something　else；　so　soon　as　he's　got　over　his　first　soreness；　but　I'm　too　old　to　dream　of　another　child。〃

He　came　in　a　little　later　and；　seating　himself　between　them；　filled　and　lighted　his　pipe。　　Looking　back；　Joan　remembered　that　curiously　none　of　them　had　spoken。　　Mary　had　turned　at　the　sound　of　his　key　in　the　door。　　She　seemed　to　be　watching　him　intently；　but　it　was　too　dark　to　notice　her　expression。　　He　pulled　at　his　pipe　till　it　was　well　alight　and　then　removed　it。

〃It's　war；〃　he　said。

The　words　made　no　immediate　impression　upon　Joan。　　There　had　been　rumours；　threatenings　and　alarms；　newspaper　talk。　　But　so　there　had　been　before。　　It　would　come　one　day：　　the　world　war　that　one　felt　was　gathering　in　the　air；　that　would　burst　like　a　second　deluge　on　the　nations。　　But　it　would　not　be　in　our　time：　　it　was　too　big。　　A　way　out　would　be　found。

〃Is　there　no　hope？〃　asked　Mary。

〃Yes；〃　he　answered。　　〃The　hope　that　a　miracle　may　happen。　　The　Navy's　got　its　orders。〃

And　suddenlyas　years　before　in　a　Paris　music　hallthere　leapt　to　life　within　Joan's　brain　a　little　impish　creature　that　took　possession　of　her。　　She　hoped　the　miracle　would　not　happen。　　The　little　impish　creature　within　her　brain　was　marching　up　and　down　beating　a　drum。　　She　wished　he　would　stop　a　minute。　　Someone　was　trying　to　talk　to　her；　telling　her　she　ought　to　be　tremendously　shocked　and　grieved。　　Heor　she；　or　whatever　it　was　that　was　trying　to　talk　to　her；　appeared　concerned　about　Reason　and　Pity　and　Universal　Brotherhood　and　Civilization's　clockthings　like　that。　But　the　little　impish　drummer　was　making　such　a　din；　she　couldn't　properly　hear。　　Later　on；　perhaps；　he　would　get　tired；　and　then　she　would　be　able　to　listen　to　this　humane　and　sensible　person；　whoever　it　might　be。

Mary　argued　that　England　could　and　should　keep　out　of　it；　but　Greyson　was　convinced　it　would　be　impossible；　not　to　say　dishonourable：　　a　sentiment　that　won　the　enthusiastic　approval　of　the　little　drummer　in　Joan's　brain。　　He　played　〃Rule　Britannia〃　and　〃God　Save　the　King；〃　the　〃Marseillaise〃　and　the　Russian　National　hymn；　all　at　the　same　time。　　He　would　have　included　〃Deutschland　uber　Alles；〃　if　Joan　hadn't　made　a　supreme　effort　and　stopped　him。　Evidently　a　sporting　little　devil。　　He　took　himself　off　into　a　corner　after　a　time；　where　he　played　quietly　to　himself；　and　Joan　was　able　to　join　in　the　conversation。

Greyson　spoke　with　an　enthusiasm　that　was　unusual　to　him。　　So　many　of　our　wars　had　been　mean　warswars　for　the　wrong；　sordid　wars　for　territory；　for　gold　mines；　wars　against　the　weak　at　the　bidding　of　our　traders；　our　financiers。　　〃Shouldering　the　white　man's　burden；〃　we　called　it。　　Wars　for　the　right　of　selling　opium；　wars　to　perpetuate　the　vile　rule　of　the　Turk　because　it　happened　to　serve　our　commercial　interests。　　This　time；　we　were　out　to　play　the　knight；　to　save　the　smaller　peoples；　to　rescue　our　once　〃sweet　enemy；〃　fair　France。　　Russia　was　the　disturbing　thought。　　It　somewhat　discounted　the　knight…errant　idea；　riding　stirrup　to　stirrup　beside　that　barbarian　horseman。　　But　there　were　possibilities　about　Russia。　　Idealism　lay　hid　within　that　sleeping　brain。　　It　would　be　a　holy　war　for　the　Kingdom　of　the　Peoples。　With　Germany　freed　from　the　monster　of　blood　and　iron　that　was　crushing　out　her　soul；　with　Russia　awakened　to　life；　we　would　build　the　United　States　of　Europe。　　Even　his　voice　was　changed。　　Joan　could　almost　fancy　it　was　some　excited　schoolboy　that　was　talking。

Mary　had　been　clasping　and　unclasping　her　hands；　a　habit　of　hers　when　troubled。　　Could　good　ever　come　out　of　evil？　　That　was　her　doubt。　　Did　war　ever　do　anything　but　sow　the　seeds　of　future　violence；　substitute　one　injustice　for　another；　change　wrong　for　wrong。　　Did　it　ever　do　anything　but　add　to　the　world's　sum　of　evil；　making　God's　task　the　heavier？

Suddenly；　while　speaking；　she　fell　into　a　passionate　fit　of　weeping。　　She　went　on　through　her　tears：

〃It　will　be　terrible；〃　she　said。　　〃It　will　last　longer　than　you　say。　　Every　nation　will　be　drawn　into　it。　　There　will　be　no　voice　left　to　speak　for　reason。　　Every　day　we　shall　grow　more　brutalized；　more　pitiless。　　It　will　degrade　us；　crush　the　soul　out　of　us。　Blood　and　iron！　　It　will　become　our　God　too：　　the　God　of　all　the　world。　　You　say　we　are　going　into　it　with　clean　hands；　this　time。　How　long　will　they　keep　clean？　　The　people　who　only　live　for　making　money：　　how　long　do　you　think　they　will　remain　silent？　　What　has　been　all　the　talk　of　the　last　ten　years　but　of　capturing　German　trade。　　We　shall　be　told　that　we　owe　it　to　our　dead　to　make　a　profit　out　of　them；　that　otherwise　they　will　have　died　in　vain。　Who　will　care　for　the　people　but　to　use　them　for　killing　one　anotherto　hound　them　on　like　dogs。　　In　every　country　nothing　but　greed　and　hatred　will　be　preached。　　Horrible　men　and　women　will　write　to　the　papers　crying　out　for　more　blood；　more　cruelty。　Everything　that　can　make　for　anger　and　revenge　will　be　screamed　from　every　newspaper。　　Every　plea　for　humanity　will　be　jeered　at　as　'sickly　sentimentality。'　　Every　man　and　woman　who　remembers　the　ideals　with　which　we　started　will　be　shrieked　at　as　a　traitor。　　The　people　who　are　doing　well　out　of　it；　they　will　get　hold　of　the　Press；　appeal　to　the　passions　of　the　mob。　　Nobody　else　will　be　allowed　to　speak。　　It　always　has　been　so　in　war。　　It　always　will　be。　　This　will　be　no　exception　merely　because　it's　bigger。　　Every　country　w