the purcell papers-2-第8章
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grounds of my suspicions。
This letter I kept sealed and directed
for two or three days always about my
person; for discovery would have been
ruinous; in expectation of an opportunity
which might be safely trusted; whereby to
have it placed in the post…office。 As neither
Emily nor I were permitted to pass beyond
the precincts of the demesne itself;
which was surrounded by high walls
formed of dry stone; the difficulty of
procuring such an opportunity was greatly
enhanced。
At this time Emily had a short conver…
sation with her father; which she reported
to me instantly。
After some indifferent matter; he had
asked her whether she and I were upon
good terms; and whether I was unreserved
in my disposition。 She answered in the
affirmative; and he then inquired whether
I had been much surprised to find him in
my chamber on the other day。 She
answered that I had been both surprised and
amused。
'And what did she think of George
Wilson's appearance?'
'Who?' inquired she。
'Oh; the architect;' he answered; 'who
is to contract for the repairs of the house;
he is accounted a handsome fellow。'
'She could not see his face;' said Emily;
'and she was in such a hurry to escape
that she scarcely noticed him。'
Sir Arthur appeared satisfied; and the
conversation ended。
This slight conversation; repeated
accurately to me by Emily; had the effect of
confirming; if indeed anything was required
to do so; all that I had before believed as
to Edward's actual presence; and I naturally
became; if possible; more anxious
than ever to despatch the letter to Mr。
Jefferies。 An opportunity at length occurred。
As Emily and I were walking one day
near the gate of the demesne; a lad from
the village happened to be passing down
the avenue from the house; the spot was
secluded; and as this person was not
connected by service with those whose
observation I dreaded; I committed the letter
to his keeping; with strict injunctions that
he should put it without delay into the
receiver of the town post…office; at the
same time I added a suitable gratuity; and
the man having made many protestations
of punctuality; was soon out of sight。
He was hardly gone when I began to
doubt my discretion in having trusted this
person; but I had no better or safer means
of despatching the letter; and I was not
warranted in suspecting him of such
wanton dishonesty as an inclination to
tamper with it; but I could not be quite
satisfied of its safety until I had received
an answer; which could not arrive for a
few days。 Before I did; however; an event
occurred which a little surprised me。
I was sitting in my bedroom early in the
day; reading by myself; when I heard a
knock at the door。
'Come in;' said I; and my uncle entered
the room。
'Will you excuse me?' said he。 'I
sought you in the parlour; and thence I
have come here。 I desired to say a word
with you。 I trust that you have hitherto
found my conduct to you such as that of a
guardian towards his ward should be。'
I dared not withhold my consent。
'And;' he continued; 'I trust that you
have not found me harsh or unjust; and
that you have perceived; my dear niece;
that I have sought to make this poor place
as agreeable to you as may be。'
I assented again; and he put his hand
in his pocket; whence he drew a folded
paper; and dashing it upon the table with
startling emphasis; he said:
'Did you write that letter?'
The sudden and tearful alteration of his
voice; manner; and face; but; more than all;
the unexpected production of my letter to
Mr。 Jefferies; which I at once recognised;
so confounded and terrified me; that I felt
almost choking。
I could not utter a word。
'Did you write that letter?' he repeated
with slow and intense emphasis。' You
did; liar and hypocrite! You dared to
write this foul and infamous libel; but it
shall be your last。 Men will universally
believe you mad; if I choose to call for an
inquiry。 I can make you appear so。 The
suspicions expressed in this letter are the
hallucinations and alarms of moping lunacy。
I have defeated your first attempt; madam;
and by the holy God; if ever you make
another; chains; straw; darkness; and the
keeper's whip shall be your lasting portion!'
With these astounding words he left the
room; leaving me almost fainting。
I was now almost reduced to despair;
my last cast had failed; I had no course
left but that of eloping secretly from the
castle; and placing myself under the
protection of the nearest magistrate。 I felt
if this were not done; and speedily; that I
should be MURDERED。
No one; from mere description; can have
an idea of the unmitigated horror of my
situationa helpless; weak; inexperienced
girl; placed under the power and wholly
at the mercy of evil men; and feeling that
she had it not in her power to escape for
a moment from the malignant influences
under which she was probably fated to fall;
and with a consciousness that if violence;
if murder were designed; her dying shriek
would be lost in void space; no human
being would be near to aid her; no human
interposition could deliver her。
I had seen Edward but once during his
visit; and as I did not meet with him
again; I began to think that he must have
taken his departurea conviction which
was to a certain degree satisfactory; as I
regarded his absence as indicating the
removal of immediate danger。
Emily also arrived circuitously at the
same conclusion; and not without good
grounds; for she managed indirectly to
learn that Edward's black horse had actually
been for a day and part of a night in
the castle stables; just at the time of her
brother's supposed visit。 The horse had
gone; and; as she argued; the rider must
have departed with it。
This point being so far settled; I felt a
little less uncomfortable: when being one
day alone in my bedroom; I happened to
look out from the window; and; to my un…
utterable horror; I beheld; peering through
an opposite casement; my cousin Edward's
face。 Had I seen the evil one himself in
bodily shape; I could not have experienced
a more sickening revulsion。
I was too much appalled to move at
once from the window; but I did so soon
enough to avoid his eye。 He was looking
fixedly into the narrow quadrangle upon
which the window opened。 I shrank back
unperceived; to pass the rest of the day
in terror and despair。 I went to my room
early that night; but I was too miserable
to sleep。
At about twelve o'clock; feeling very
nervous; I determined to call my cousin
Emily; who slept; you will remember; in
the next room; which communicated with
mine by a second door。 By this private
entrance I found my way into her chamber;
and without difficulty persuaded her to
return to my room and sleep with me。
We accordingly lay down together; she
undressed; and I with my clothes on; for I
was every moment walking up and down
the room; and felt too nervous and miserable
to think of rest or comfort。
Emily was soon fast asleep; and I lay
awake; fervently longing for the first pale
gleam of morning; reckoning every stroke
of the old clock with an impatience which
made every hour appear like six。
It must have been about one o'clock
when I thought I heard a slight noise at
the partition…door between Emily's room
and mine; as if caused by somebody's
turning the key in the lock。 I held my
breath; and the same sound was repeated
at the second door of my roomthat which
opened upon the lobbythe sound was
here distinctly caused by the revolution of
the bolt in the lock; and it was followed by
a slight pressure upon the door itself; as if
to ascertain the security of the lock。
The person; whoever it might be; was
probably satisfied; for