the hunchback of notre dame-第84章

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　deep　hours　of　the　night　when　it　is　so　dark　that　it　seems　as　though　God　no　longer　saw　us。　　Listen。　　Before　I　knew　you；　young　girl；　I　was　happy。〃

〃So　was　I！〃　she　sighed　feebly。

〃Do　not　interrupt　me。　　Yes；　I　was　happy；　at　least　I　believed　myself　to　be　so。　　I　was　pure；　my　soul　was　filled　with　limpid　light。　　No　head　was　raised　more　proudly　and　more　radiantly　than　mine。　　Priests　consulted　me　on　chastity；　doctors；　on　doctrines。　　Yes；　science　was　all　in　all　to　me；　it　was　a　sister　to　me；　and　a　sister　sufficed。　　Not　but　that　with　age　other　ideas　came　to　me。　　More　than　once　my　flesh　had　been　moved　as　a　woman's　form　passed　by。　　That　force　of　sex　and　blood　which；　in　the　madness　of　youth；　I　had　imagined　that　I　had　stifled　forever　had；　more　than　once；　convulsively　raised　the　chain　of　iron　vows　which　bind　me；　a　miserable　wretch；　to　the　cold　stones　of　the　altar。　　But　fasting；　prayer；　study；　the　mortifications　of　the　cloister；　rendered　my　soul　mistress　of　my　body　once　more；　and　then　I　avoided　women。　　Moreover；　I　had　but　to　open　a　book；　and　all　the　impure　mists　of　my　brain　vanished　before　the　splendors　of　science。　　In　a　few　moments；　I　felt　the　gross　things　of　earth　flee　far　away；　and　I　found　myself　once　more　calm；　quieted；　and　serene；　in　the　presence　of　the　tranquil　radiance　of　eternal　truth。　　As　long　as　the　demon　sent　to　attack　me　only　vague　shadows　of　women　who　passed　occasionally　before　my　eyes　in　church；　in　the　streets；　in　the　fields；　and　who　hardly　recurred　to　my　dreams；　I　easily　vanquished　him。　　Alas！　　if　the　victory　has　not　remained　with　me；　it　is　the　fault　of　God；　who　has　not　created　man　and　the　demon　of　equal　force。　　Listen。　　One　day

Here　the　priest　paused；　and　the　prisoner　heard　sighs　of　anguish　break　from　his　breast　with　a　sound　of　the　death　rattle。

He　resumed；

〃One　day　I　was　leaning　on　the　window　of　my　cell。　　What　book　was　I　reading　then？　　Oh！　all　that　is　a　whirlwind　in　my　head。　　I　was　reading。　　The　window　opened　upon　a　Square。　　I　heard　a　sound　of　tambourine　and　music。　　Annoyed　at　being　thus　disturbed　in　my　revery；　I　glanced　into　the　Square。　　What　I　beheld；　others　saw　beside　myself；　and　yet　it　was　not　a　spectacle　made　for　human　eyes。　　There；　in　the　middle　of　the　pavement；it　was　midday；　the　sun　was　shining　brightly；a　creature　was　dancing。　　A　creature　so　beautiful　that　God　would　have　preferred　her　to　the　Virgin　and　have　chosen　her　for　his　mother　and　have　wished　to　be　born　of　her　if　she　had　been　in　existence　when　he　was　made　man！　　Her　eyes　were　black　and　splendid；　in　the　midst　of　her　black　locks；　some　hairs　through　which　the　sun　shone　glistened　like　threads　of　gold。　　Her　feet　disappeared　in　their　movements　like　the　spokes　of　a　rapidly　turning　wheel。　　Around　her　head；　in　her　black　tresses；　there　were　disks　of　metal；　which　glittered　in　the　sun；　and　formed　a　coronet　of　stars　on　her　brow。　　Her　dress　thick　set　with　spangles；　blue；　and　dotted　with　a　thousand　sparks；　gleamed　like　a　summer　night。　　Her　brown；　supple　arms　twined　and　untwined　around　her　waist；　like　two　scarfs。　　The　form　of　her　body　was　surprisingly　beautiful。　Oh！　what　a　resplendent　figure　stood　out；　like　something　luminous　even　in　the　sunlight！　　Alas；　young　girl；　it　was　thou！　Surprised；　intoxicated；　charmed；　I　allowed　myself　to　gaze　upon　thee。　　I　looked　so　long　that　I　suddenly　shuddered　with　terror；　I　felt　that　fate　was　seizing　hold　of　me。〃

The　priest　paused　for　a　moment；　overcome　with　emotion。　Then　he　continued；

〃Already　half　fascinated；　I　tried　to　cling　fast　to　something　and　hold　myself　back　from　falling。　　I　recalled　the　snares　which　Satan　had　already　set　for　me。　　The　creature　before　my　eyes　possessed　that　superhuman　beauty　which　can　come　only　from　heaven　or　hell。　　It　was　no　simple　girl　made　with　a　little　of　our　earth；　and　dimly　lighted　within　by　the　vacillating　ray　of　a　woman's　soul。　　It　was　an　angel！　but　of　shadows　and　flame；　and　not　of　light。　　At　the　moment　when　I　was　meditating　thus；　I　beheld　beside　you　a　goat；　a　beast　of　witches；　which　smiled　as　it　gazed　at　me。　　The　midday　sun　gave　him　golden　horns。　　Then　I　perceived　the　snare　of　the　demon；　and　I　no　longer　doubted　that　you　had　come　from　hell　and　that　you　had　come　thence　for　my　perdition。　　I　believed　it。〃

Here　the　priest　looked　the　prisoner　full　in　the　face；　and　added；　coldly；

〃I　believe　it　still。　　Nevertheless；　the　charm　operated　little　by　little；　your　dancing　whirled　through　my　brain；　I　felt　the　mysterious　spell　working　within　me。　　All　that　should　have　awakened　was　lulled　to　sleep；　and　like　those　who　die　in　the　snow；　I　felt　pleasure　in　allowing　this　sleep　to　draw　on。　　All　at　once；　you　began　to　sing。　　What　could　I　do；　unhappy　wretch？　　Your　song　was　still　more　charming　than　your　dancing。　I　tried　to　flee。　　Impossible。　　I　was　nailed；　rooted　to　the　spot。　　It　seemed　to　me　that　the　marble　of　the　pavement　had　risen　to　my　knees。　　I　was　forced　to　remain　until　the　end。　My　feet　were　like　ice；　my　head　was　on　fire。　　At　last　you　took　pity　on　me；　you　ceased　to　sing；　you　disappeared。　　The　reflection　of　the　dazzling　vision；　the　reverberation　of　the　enchanting　music　disappeared　by　degrees　from　my　eyes　and　my　ears。　Then　I　fell　back　into　the　embrasure　of　the　window；　more　rigid；　more　feeble　than　a　statue　torn　from　its　base。　　The　vesper　bell　roused　me。　　I　drew　myself　up；　I　fled；　but　alas！　something　within　me　had　fallen　never　to　rise　again；　something　had　come　upon　me　from　which　I　could　not　flee。〃

He　made　another　pause　and　went　on；

〃Yes；　dating　from　that　day；　there　was　within　me　a　man　whom　I　did　not　know。　　I　tried　to　make　use　of　all　my　remedies。　The　cloister；　the　altar；　work；　books；follies！　　Oh；　how　hollow　does　science　sound　when　one　in　despair　dashes　against　it　a　head　full　of　passions！　　Do　you　know；　young　girl；　what　I　saw　thenceforth　between　my　book　and　me？　　You；　your　shade；　the　image　of　the　luminous　apparition　which　had　one　day　crossed　the　space　before　me。　　But　this　image　had　no　longer　the　same　color；　it　was　sombre；　funereal；　gloomy　as　the　black　circle　which　long　pursues　the　vision　of　the　imprudent　man　who　has　gazed　intently　at　the　sun。

〃Unable　to　rid　myself　of　it；　since　I　heard　your　song　humming　ever　in　my　head；　beheld　your　feet　dancing　always　on　my　breviary；　felt　even　at　night；　in　my　dreams；　your　form　in　contact　with　my　own；　I　desired　to　see　you　again；　to　touch　you；　to　know　who　you　were；　to　see　whether　I　should　really　find　you　like　the　ideal　image　which　I　had　retained　of　you；　to　shatter　my　dream；　perchance；　with　reality。　　At　all　events；　I　hoped　that　a　new　impression　would　efface　the　first；　and　the　first　had　become　insupportable。　　I　sought　you。　　I　saw　you　once　more。　　Calamity！　　When　I　had　seen　you　twice；　I　wanted　to　see　you　a　thousand　times；　I　wanted　to　see　you　always。　Thenhow　stop　myself　on　that　slope　of　hell？then　I　no　longer　belonged　to　myself。　　The　other　end　of　the　thread　which　the　demon　had　attached　to　my　wings　he　had　fastened　to　his　foot。　　I　became　vagrant　and　wandering　like　yourself。　I　waited　for　you　under　porches；　I　stood　on　the　lookout　for　you　at　the　street　corners；　I　watched　for　you　from　the　summit　of　my　tower。　　Every　evening　I　returned　to　myself　more　charmed；　more　despairing；　more　bewitched；　more　lost！

〃I　had　learned　who　you　were；　an　Egyptian；　Bohemian；　gypsy；　zingara。　　How　could　I　doubt　the　magic？　　Listen。　　I　hoped　that　a　trial　would　free　me　from　the　charm。　　A　witch　enchanted　Bruno　d'Ast；　he　had　her　burned；　and　was　cured。　　I　knew　it。　　I　wanted　to　try　the　remedy。　　First　I　tried　to　have　you　forbidden　the　square　in　front　of　Notre…Dame；　hoping　to　forget　you　if　you　returned　no　more。　　You　paid　no　heed　to　it。　You　returned。　　Then　the　idea　of　abducting　you　occurred　to　me。　　One　night　I　made　the　attempt。　　There　were　two　of　us。　We　already　had　you　in　our　power；　when　that　miserable　officer　came　up。　　He　delivered　you。　　Thus　did　he　begin　your　unhappiness；　mine；　and　his　own。　　Finally；　no　longer　knowing　what　to　do；　and　what　was　to　become　of　me；　I　denounced　you　to　the　official。

〃I　thought　that　I　should　be　cured　like　Bruno　d'Ast。　　I　also　had　a　confused　idea　that　a　trial　would　deliver　you　into　my　hands；　that；　as　a　prisoner　I　should　hold　you；　I　should　have　you；　that　there　you　could　not　escape　from　me；　that　you　had　already　possessed　me　a　sufficiently　long　time　to　give　me　the　right　to　possess　you　in　my　turn。　　When　one　does