the life of charlotte bronte-1-第39章

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's　and　aunt's。〃


However；　a　little　more　patience；　a　little　more　delay；　and　she　enjoyed　the　pleasure　she　had　wished　for　so　much。　　She　and　her　friend　went　to　Easton　for　a　fortnight　in　the　latter　part　of　September。　　It　was　here　she　received　her　first　impressions　of　the　sea。


〃Oct。　24th。

〃Have　you　forgotten　the　sea　by　this　time；　E。？　　Is　it　grown　dim　in　your　mind？　　Or　can　you　still　see　it；　dark；　blue；　and　green；　and　foam…white；　and　hear　it　roaring　roughly　when　the　wind　is　high；　or　rushing　softly　when　it　is　calm？　。　。　。　I　am　as　well　as　need　be；　and　very　fat。　　I　think　of　Easton　very　often；　and　of　worthy　Mr。　H。；　and　his　kind…hearted　helpmate；　and　of　our　pleasant　walks　to　H…　Wood；　and　to　Boynton；　our　merry　evenings；　our　romps　with　little　Hancheon；　&c。；　&c。　　If　we　both　live；　this　period　of　our　lives　will　long　be　a　theme　for　pleasant　recollection。　　Did　you　chance；　in　your　letter　to　Mr。　H。；　to　mention　my　spectacles？　　I　am　sadly　inconvenienced　by　the　want　of　them。　　I　can　neither　read；　write；　nor　draw　with　comfort　in　their　absence。　　I　hope　Madame　won't　refuse　to　give　them　up　。　。　。　Excuse　the　brevity　of　this　letter；　for　I　have　been　drawing　all　day；　and　my　eyes　are　so　tired　it　is　quite　a　labour　to　write。〃


But；　as　the　vivid　remembrance　of　this　pleasure　died　away；　an　accident　occurred　to　make　the　actual　duties　of　life　press　somewhat　heavily　for　a　time。


〃December　21st；　1839

〃We　are　at　present；　and　have　been　during　the　last　month；　rather　busy；　as；　for　that　space　of　time；　we　have　been　without　a　servant；　except　a　little　girl　to　run　errands。　　Poor　Tabby　became　so　lame　that　she　was　at　length　obliged　to　leave　us。　　She　is　residing　with　her　sister；　in　a　little　house　of　her　own；　which　she　bought　with　her　savings　a　year　or　two　since。　　She　is　very　comfortable；　and　wants　nothing；　as　she　is　near；　we　see　her　very　often。　　In　the　meantime；　Emily　and　I　are　sufficiently　busy；　as　you　may　suppose：　I　manage　the　ironing；　and　keep　the　rooms　clean；　Emily　does　the　baking；　and　attends　to　the　kitchen。　　We　are　such　odd　animals；　that　we　prefer　this　mode　of　contrivance　to　having　a　new　face　amongst　us。　　Besides；　we　do　not　despair　of　Tabby's　return；　and　she　shall　not　be　supplanted　by　a　stranger　in　her　absence。　　I　excited　aunt's　wrath　very　much　by　burning　the　clothes；　the　first　time　I　attempted　to　iron；　but　I　do　better　now。　　Human　feelings　are　queer　things；　I　am　much　happier　black…leading　the　stoves；　making　the　beds；　and　sweeping　the　floors　at　home；　than　I　should　be　living　like　a　fine　lady　anywhere　else。　　I　must　indeed　drop　my　subscription　to　the　Jews；　because　I　have　no　money　to　keep　it　up。　　I　ought　to　have　announced　this　intention　to　you　before；　but　I　quite　forgot　I　was　a　subscriber。　　I　intend　to　force　myself　to　take　another　situation　when　I　can　get　one；　though　I　HATE　and　ABHOR　the　very　thoughts　of　governess…ship。　　But　I　must　do　it；　and；　therefore；　I　heartily　wish　I　could　hear　of　a　family　where　they　need　such　a　commodity　as　a　governess。〃



CHAPTER　IX



The　year　1840　found　all　the　Brontes　living　at　home；　except　Anne。　As　I　have　already　intimated；　for　some　reason　with　which　I　am　unacquainted；　the　plan　of　sending　Branwell　to　study　at　the　Royal　Academy　had　been　relinquished；　probably　it　was　found；　on　inquiry；　that　the　expenses　of　such　a　life；　were　greater　than　his　father's　slender　finances　could　afford；　even　with　the　help　which　Charlotte's　labours　at　Miss　W…'s　gave；　by　providing　for　Anne's　board　and　education。　　I　gather　from　what　I　have　heard；　that　Branwell　must　have　been　severely　disappointed　when　the　plan　fell　through。　　His　talents　were　certainly　very　brilliant；　and　of　this　he　was　fully　conscious；　and　fervently　desired；　by　their　use；　either　in　writing　or　drawing；　to　make　himself　a　name。　　At　the　same　time；　he　would　probably　have　found　his　strong　love　of　pleasure　and　irregular　habits　a　great　impediment　in　his　path　to　fame；　but　these　blemishes　in　his　character　were　only　additional　reasons　why　he　yearned　after　a　London　life；　in　which　he　imagined　he　could　obtain　every　stimulant　to　his　already　vigorous　intellect；　while　at　the　same　time　he　would　have　a　license　of　action　to　be　found　only　in　crowded　cities。　　Thus　his　whole　nature　was　attracted　towards　the　metropolis；　and　many　an　hour　must　he　have　spent　poring　over　the　map　of　London；　to　judge　from　an　anecdote　which　has　been　told　me。　Some　traveller　for　a　London　house　of　business　came　to　Haworth　for　a　night；　and　according　to　the　unfortunate　habit　of　the　place；　the　brilliant　〃Patrick〃　was　sent　for　to　the　inn；　to　beguile　the　evening　by　his　intellectual　conversation　and　his　flashes　of　wit。　They　began　to　talk　of　London；　of　the　habits　and　ways　of　life　there；　of　the　places　of　amusement；　and　Branwell　informed　the　Londoner　of　one　or　two　short　cuts　from　point　to　point；　up　narrow　lanes　or　back　streets；　and　it　was　only　towards　the　end　of　the　evening　that　the　traveller　discovered；　from　his　companion's　voluntary　confession；　that　he　had　never　set　foot　in　London　at　all。

At　this　time　the　young　man　seemed　to　have　his　fate　in　his　own　hands。　　He　was　full　of　noble　impulses；　as　well　as　of　extraordinary　gifts；　not　accustomed　to　resist　temptation；　it　is　true；　from　any　higher　motive　than　strong　family　affection；　but　showing　so　much　power　of　attachment　to　all　about　him　that　they　took　pleasure　in　believing　that；　after　a　time；　he　would　〃right　himself；〃　and　that　they　should　have　pride　and　delight　in　the　use　he　would　then　make　of　his　splendid　talents。　　His　aunt　especially　made　him　her　great　favourite。　　There　are　always　peculiar　trials　in　the　life　of　an　only　boy　in　a　family　of　girls。　　He　is　expected　to　act　a　part　in　life；　to　DO；　while　they　are　only　to　BE；　and　the　necessity　of　their　giving　way　to　him　in　some　things；　is　too　often　exaggerated　into　their　giving　way　to　him　in　all；　and　thus　rendering　him　utterly　selfish。　　In　the　family　about　whom　I　am　writing；　while　the　rest　were　almost　ascetic　in　their　habits；　Branwell　was　allowed　to　grow　up　self…indulgent；　but；　in　early　youth；　his　power　of　attracting　and　attaching　people　was　so　great；　that　few　came　in　contact　with　him　who　were　not　so　much　dazzled　by　him　as　to　be　desirous　of　gratifying　whatever　wishes　he　expressed。　　Of　course；　he　was　careful　enough　not　to　reveal　anything　before　his　father　and　sisters　of　the　pleasures　he　indulged　in；　but　his　tone　of　thought　and　conversation　became　gradually　coarser；　and；　for　a　time；　his　sisters　tried　to　persuade　themselves　that　such　coarseness　was　a　part　of　manliness；　and　to　blind　themselves　by　love　to　the　fact　that　Branwell　was　worse　than　other　young　men。　　At　present；　though　he　had；　they　were　aware；　fallen　into　some　errors；　the　exact　nature　of　which　they　avoided　knowing；　still　he　was　their　hope　and　their　darling；　their　pride；　who　should　some　time　bring　great　glory　to　the　name　of　Bronte。

He　and　his　sister　Charlotte　were　both　slight　and　small　of　stature；　while　the　other　two　were　of　taller　and　larger　make。　　I　have　seen　Branwell's　profile；　it　is　what　would　be　generally　esteemed　very　handsome；　the　forehead　is　massive；　the　eye　well　set；　and　the　expression　of　it　fine　and　intellectual；　the　nose　too　is　good；　but　there　are　coarse　lines　about　the　mouth；　and　the　lips；　though　of　handsome　shape；　are　loose　and　thick；　indicating　self…indulgence；　while　the　slightly　retreating　chin　conveys　an　idea　of　weakness　of　will。　　His　hair　and　complexion　were　sandy。　　He　had　enough　of　Irish　blood　in　him　to　make　his　manners　frank　and　genial；　with　a　kind　of　natural　gallantry　about　them。　　In　a　fragment　of　one　of　his　manuscripts　which　I　have　read；　there　is　a　justness　and　felicity　of　expression　which　is　very　striking。　　It　is　the　beginning　of　a　tale；　and　the　actors　in　it　are　drawn　with　much　of　the　grace　of　characteristic　portrait…painting；　in　perfectly　pure　and　simple　language　which　distinguishes　so　many　of　Addison's　papers　in　the　〃Spectator。〃　　The　fragment　is　too　short　to　afford　the　means　of　judging　whether　he　had　much　dramatic　talent；　as　the　persons　of　the　story　are　not　thrown　into　conversation。　　But　altogether　the　elegance　and　composure　of　style　are　such　as　one　would　not　have　expected　from　this　vehement　and　ill…fated　young　man。　　He　had　a　stronger　desire　for　literary　fame　burning　in　his　heart；　than　even　that　which　occasionally　flashed　up　in　his　sisters'。　　He　tried　various　outlets　for　his　talents。