the life of charlotte bronte-1-第42章

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　goeth。'　　That；　I　believe；　is　Scripture；　though　in　what　chapter　or　book；　or　whether　it　be　correctly　quoted；　I　can't　possibly　say。　However；　it　behoves　me　to　write　a　letter　to　a　young　woman　of　the　name　of　E。；　with　whom　I　was　once　acquainted；　'in　life's　morning　march；　when　my　spirit　was　young。'　　This　young　woman　wished　me　to　write　to　her　some　time　since；　though　I　have　nothing　to　sayI　e'en　put　it　off；　day　by　day；　till　at　last；　fearing　that　she　will　'curse　me　by　her　gods；'　I　feel　constrained　to　sit　down　and　tack　a　few　lines　together；　which　she　may　call　a　letter　or　not　as　she　pleases。　Now　if　the　young　woman　expects　sense　in　this　production；　she　will　find　herself　miserably　disappointed。　　I　shall　dress　her　a　dish　of　salmagundiI　shall　cook　a　hashcompound　a　stewtoss　up　an　OMELETTE　SOUFFLEE　E　LA　FRANCAISE；　and　send　it　her　with　my　respects。　　The　wind；　which　is　very　high　up　in　our　hills　of　Judea；　though；　I　suppose；　down　in　the　Philistine　flats　of　B。　parish　it　is　nothing　to　speak　of；　has　produced　the　same　effects　on　the　contents　of　my　knowledge…box　that　a　quaigh　of　usquebaugh　does　upon　those　of　most　other　bipeds。　　I　see　everything　COULEUR　DE　ROSE；　and　am　strongly　inclined　to　dance　a　jig；　if　I　knew　how。　　I　think　I　must　partake　of　the　nature　of　a　pig　or　an　assboth　which　animals　are　strongly　affected　by　a　high　wind。　　From　what　quarter　the　wind　blows　I　cannot　tell；　for　I　never　could　in　my　life；　but　I　should　very　much　like　to　know　how　the　great　brewing…tub　of　Bridlington　Bay　works；　and　what　sort　of　yeasty　froth　rises　just　now　on　the　waves。

〃A　woman　of　the　name　of　Mrs。　B。；　it　seems；　wants　a　teacher。　　I　wish　she　would　have　me；　and　I　have　written　to　Miss　W。　to　tell　her　so。　　Verily；　it　is　a　delightful　thing　to　live　here　at　home；　at　full　liberty　to　do　just　what　one　pleases。　　But　I　recollect　some　scrubby　old　fable　about　grasshoppers　and　ants；　by　a　scrubby　old　knave　yclept　AEsop；　the　grasshoppers　sang　all　the　summer；　and　starved　all　the　winter。

〃A　distant　relation　of　mine；　one　Patrick　Branwell；　has　set　off　to　seek　his　fortune　in　the　wild；　wandering；　adventurous；　romantic；　knight…errant…like　capacity　of　clerk　on　the　Leeds　and　Manchester　Railroad。　　Leeds　and　Manchesterwhere　are　they？　　Cities　in　the　wilderness；　like　Tadmor；　alias　Palmyraare　they　not？

〃There　is　one　little　trait　respecting　Mr。　W。　which　lately　came　to　my　knowledge；　which　gives　a　glimpse　of　the　better　side　of　his　character。　　Last　Saturday　night　he　had　been　sitting　an　hour　in　the　parlour　with　Papa；　and；　as　he　went　away；　I　heard　Papa　say　to　him　'What　is　the　matter　with　you？　　You　seem　in　very　low　spirits　to…　night。'　　'Oh；　I　don't　know。　　I've　been　to　see　a　poor　young　girl；　who；　I'm　afraid；　is　dying。'　　'Indeed；　what　is　her　name？'　　'Susan　Bland；　the　daughter　of　John　Bland；　the　superintendent。'　　Now　Susan　Bland　is　my　oldest　and　best　scholar　in　the　Sunday…school；　and；　when　I　heard　that；　I　thought　I　would　go　as　soon　as　I　could　to　see　her。　　I　did　go　on　Monday　afternoon；　and　found　her　on　her　way　to　that　'bourn　whence　no　traveller　returns。'　　After　sitting　with　her　some　time；　I　happened　to　ask　her　mother；　if　she　thought　a　little　port　wine　would　do　her　good。　　She　replied　that　the　doctor　had　recommended　it；　and　that　when　Mr。　W。　was　last　there；　he　had　brought　them　a　bottle　of　wine　and　jar　of　preserves。　　She　added；　that　he　was　always　good…natured　to　poor　folks；　and　seemed　to　have　a　deal　of　feeling　and　kind…heartedness　about　him。　　No　doubt；　there　are　defects　in　his　character；　but　there　are　also　good　qualities　。　。　。　God　bless　him！　　I　wonder　who；　with　his　advantages；　would　be　without　his　faults。　　I　know　many　of　his　faulty　actions；　many　of　his　weak　points；　yet；　where　I　am；　he　shall　always　find　rather　a　defender　than　an　accuser。　　To　be　sure；　my　opinion　will　go　but　a　very　little　way　to　decide　his　character；　what　of　that？　　People　should　do　right　as　far　as　their　ability　extends。　　You　are　not　to　suppose；　from　all　this；　that　Mr。　W。　and　I　are　on　very　amiable　terms；　we　are　not　at　all。　　We　are　distant；　cold；　and　reserved。　　We　seldom　speak；　and　when　we　do；　it　is　only　to　exchange　the　most　trivial　and　common…place　remarks。〃


The　Mrs。　B。　alluded　to　in　this　letter；　as　in　want　of　a　governess；　entered　into　a　correspondence　with　Miss　Bronte；　and　expressed　herself　much　pleased　with　the　letters　she　received　from　her；　with　the　〃style　and　candour　of　the　application；〃　in　which　Charlotte　had　taken　care　to　tell　her；　that　if　she　wanted　a　showy；　elegant；　or　fashionable　person；　her　correspondent　was　not　fitted　for　such　a　situation。　　But　Mrs。　B。　required　her　governess　to　give　instructions　in　music　and　singing；　for　which　Charlotte　was　not　qualified：　　and；　accordingly；　the　negotiation　fell　through。　　But　Miss　Bronte　was　not　one　to　sit　down　in　despair　after　disappointment。　　Much　as　she　disliked　the　life　of　a　private　governess；　it　was　her　duty　to　relieve　her　father　of　the　burden　of　her　support；　and　this　was　the　only　way　open　to　her。　　So　she　set　to　advertising　and　inquiring　with　fresh　vigour。

In　the　meantime；　a　little　occurrence　took　place；　described　in　one　of　her　letters；　which　I　shall　give；　as　it　shows　her　instinctive　aversion　to　a　particular　class　of　men；　whose　vices　some　have　supposed　she　looked　upon　with　indulgence。　　The　extract　tells　all　that　need　be　known；　for　the　purpose　I　have　in　view；　of　the　miserable　pair　to　whom　it　relates。


〃You　remember　Mr。　and　Mrs。　…？　　Mrs。came　here　the　other　day；　with　a　most　melancholy　tale　of　her　wretched　husband's　drunken；　extravagant；　profligate　habits。　　She　asked　Papa's　advice；　there　was　nothing　she　said　but　ruin　before　them。　　They　owed　debts　which　they　could　never　pay。　　She　expected　Mr。　…'s　instant　dismissal　from　his　curacy；　she　knew；　from　bitter　experience；　that　his　vices　were　utterly　hopeless。　　He　treated　her　and　her　child　savagely；　with　much　more　to　the　same　effect。　　Papa　advised　her　to　leave　him　for　ever；　and　go　home；　if　she　had　a　home　to　go　to。　　She　said；　this　was　what　she　had　long　resolved　to　do；　and　she　would　leave　him　directly；　as　soon　as　Mr。　B。　dismissed　him。　　She　expressed　great　disgust　and　contempt　towards　him；　and　did　not　affect　to　have　the　shadow　of　regard　in　any　way。　　I　do　not　wonder　at　this；　but　I　do　wonder　she　should　ever　marry　a　man　towards　whom　her　feelings　must　always　have　been　pretty　much　the　same　as　they　are　now。　　I　am　morally　certain　no　decent　woman　could　experience　anything　but　aversion　towards　such　a　man　as　Mr。　…。　　Before　I　knew；　or　suspected　his　character；　and　when　I　rather　wondered　at　his　versatile　talents；　I　felt　it　in　an　uncontrollable　degree。　　I　hated　to　talk　with　himhated　to　look　at　him；　though　as　I　was　not　certain　that　there　was　substantial　reason　for　such　a　dislike；　and　thought　it　absurd　to　trust　to　mere　instinct；　I　both　concealed　and　repressed　the　feeling　as　much　as　I　could；　and；　on　all　occasions；　treated　him　with　as　much　civility　as　I　was　mistress　of。　　I　was　struck　with　Mary's　expression　of　a　similar　feeling　at　first　sight；　she　said；　when　we　left　him；　'That　is　a　hideous　man；　Charlotte！'　　I　thought　'He　is　indeed。'〃



CHAPTER　X



Early　in　March；　1841；　Miss　Bronte　obtained　her　second　and　last　situation　as　a　governess。　　This　time　she　esteemed　herself　fortunate　in　becoming　a　member　of　a　kind…hearted　and　friendly　household。　　The　master　of　it；　she　especially　regarded　as　a　valuable　friend；　whose　advice　helped　to　guide　her　in　one　very　important　step　of　her　life。　　But　as　her　definite　acquirements　were　few；　she　had　to　eke　them　out　by　employing　her　leisure　time　in　needlework；　and　altogether　her　position　was　that　of　〃bonne〃　or　nursery　governess；　liable　to　repeated　and　never…ending　calls　upon　her　time。　　This　description　of　uncertain；　yet　perpetual　employment；　subject　to　the　exercise　of　another　person's　will　at　all　hours　of　the　day；　was　peculiarly　trying　to　one　whose　life　at　home　had　been　full　of　abundant　leisure。　　IDLE　she　never　was　in　any　place；　but　of　the　multitude　of　small　talks；　plans；　duties；　pleasures；　&c。；　that　make　up　most　people's　days；　her　home　life　was　nearly　destitute。　　This　made　it　possible　for　her　to　go　through　long　and　deep　histories　of　feeling　and　imagination；　for　which　others；　odd　as　it　sounds；　have　rarely　time。　　This　made　it　inevitable　thatlater　on；　in　her　too　short　careerthe　intensity　of　her　feeling　should　wear　out　her　physical　health。　　The　habit　of