the golden age(金色时代)-第32章
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sexes； and to me in especial he held out hopes of speedy advancement。
But in its initial stages the thing wouldn't work properly unless he were
first and only Lord。 Then I put my foot down promptly； and said it was
all rot； and I didn't see the good of any House of Lords at all。 〃Then you
must be a low Radical！ said Edward； with fine contempt。 The inference
seemed hardly necessary； but what could I do？ I accepted the situation；
and said firmly； Yes； I was a low Radical。 In this monstrous character I
had been obliged to masquerade ever since； but now I could throw it off；
and look the world in the face again。
And yet； did this and other gains really out…balance my losses？
Henceforth I should； it was true； be leader and chief； but I should also be
the buffer between the Olympians and my little clan。 To Edward this had
been nothing； he had withstood the impact of Olympus without flinching；
like Teneriffe or Atlas unremoved。 But was I equal to the task？ And
was there not rather a danger that for the sake of peace and quietness I
might be tempted to compromise； compound； and make terms？ sinking
thus； by successive lapses； into the Blameless Prig？ I don't mean； of
course； that I thought out my thoughts to the exact point here set down。
In those fortunate days of old one was free from the hard necessity of
transmuting the vague idea into the mechanical inadequate medium of
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words。 But the feeling was there； that I might not possess the qualities of
character for so delicate a position。
The unnatural halo round Edward got more pronounced； his own
demeanour more responsible and dignified； with the arrival of his new
clothes。 When his trunk and play…box were sent in； the approaching
cleavage between our brother； who now belonged to the future； and
ourselves； still claimed by the past； was accentuated indeed。 His name
was painted on each of them； in large letters； and after their arrival their
owner used to disappear mysteriously； and be found eventually wandering
round his luggage； murmuring to himself； 〃Edward； in a rapt； remote
sort of way。 It was a weakness； of course； and pointed to a soft spot in
his character； but those who can remember the sensation of first seeing
their names in print will not think hardly of him。
As the short days sped by and the grim event cast its shadow longer
and longer across our threshold； an unnatural politeness； a civility scarce
canny； began to pervade the air。 In those latter hours Edward himself
was frequently heard to say 〃Please； and also 〃Would you mind fetchin'
that ball？〃 while Harold and I would sometimes actually find ourselves
trying to anticipate his wishes。 As for the girls； they simply grovelled。
The Olympians； too； in their uncouth way； by gift of carnal delicacies and
such…like indulgence； seemed anxious to demonstrate that they had
hitherto misjudged this one of us。 Altogether the situation grew strained
and false； and I think a general relief was felt when the end came。
We all trooped down to the station； of course； it is only in later years
that the farce of 〃seeing people off〃 is seen in its true colours。 Edward
was the life and soul of the party； and if his gaiety struck one at times as
being a trifle overdone； it was not a moment to be critical。 As we
tramped along； I promised him I would ask Farmer Larkin not to kill any
more pigs till he came back for the holidays； and he said he would send
me a proper catapult；the real lethal article； not a kid's plaything。 Then
suddenly； when we were about half…way down； one of the girls fell a…
snivelling。
The happy few who dare to laugh at the woes of sea…sickness will
perhaps remember how； on occasion； the sudden collapse of a fellow…
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voyager before their very eyes has caused them hastily to revise their self…
confidence and resolve to walk more humbly for the future。 Even so it
was with Edward； who turned his head aside； feigning an interest in the
landscape。 It was but for a moment； then he recollected the hat he was
wearing；a hard bowler； the first of that sort he had ever owned。 He took
it off； examined it； and felt it over。 Something about it seemed to give
him strength； and he was a man once more。
At the station； Edward's first care was to dispose his boxes on the
platform so that every one might see the labels and the lettering thereon。
One did not go to school for the first time every day！ Then he read both
sides of his ticket carefully； shifted it to every one of his pockets in turn；
and finally fell to chinking of his money； to keep his courage up。 We
were all dry of conversation by this time； and could only stand round and
stare in silence at the victim decked for the altar。 And； as I looked at
Edward； in new clothes of a manly cut； with a hard hat upon his head； a
railway ticket in one pocket and money of his own in the other；money to
spend as he liked and no questions asked！I began to feel dimly how great
was the gulf already yawning betwixt us。 Fortunately I was not old
enough to realise； further； that here on this little platform the old order lay
at its last gasp； and that Edward might come back to us； but it would not
be the Edward of yore； nor could things ever be the same again。
When the train steamed up at last； we all boarded it impetuously with
the view of selecting the one peerless carriage to which Edward might be
intrusted with the greatest comfort and honour； and as each one found the
ideal compartment at the same moment； and vociferously maintained its
merits； he stood some chance for a time of being left behind。 A porter
settled the matter by heaving him through the nearest door； and as the train
moved off； Edward's head was thrust out of the window； wearing on it an
unmistakable first…quality grin that he had been saving up somewhere for
the supreme moment。 Very small and white his face looked； on the long
side of the retreating train。 But the grin was visible； undeniable； stoutly
maintained； till a curve swept him from our sight； and he was borne away
in the dying rumble； out of our placid backwater； out into the busy world
of rubs and knocks and competition； out into the New Life。
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When a crab has lost a leg； his gait is still more awkward than his wont；
till Time and healing Nature make him totus teres atque rotundus once
more。 We straggled back from the station disjointedly； Harold； who was
very silent； sticking close to me； his last slender props while the girls in
front； their heads together； were already reckoning up the weeks to the
holidays。 Hom
