crime and punishment(罪与罚)-第31章
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had not forgotten anything。 The conviction； that all his faculties；
even memory； and the simplest power of reflection were failing him；
began to be an insufferable torture。
〃Surely it isn't beginning already！ Surely it isn't my punishment
coming upon me？ It is！〃
The frayed rags he had cut off his trousers were actually lying on
the floor in the middle of the room； where any one coming in would see
them！
〃What is the matter with me！〃 he cried again； like one distraught。
Then a strange idea entered his head； that； perhaps； all his clothes
were covered with blood； that； perhaps； there were a great many
stains； but that he did not see them； did not notice them because
his perceptions were failing； were going to pieces。。。 his reason was
clouded。。。。 Suddenly he remembered that there had been blood on the
purse too。 〃Ah！ Then there must be blood on the pocket too； for I
put the wet purse in my pocket！〃
In a flash he had turned the pocket inside out and； yes！… there were
traces； stains on the lining of the pocket！
〃So my reason has not quite deserted me； so I still have some
sense and memory； since I guessed it of myself；〃 he thought
triumphantly； with a deep sigh of relief： 〃It's simply the weakness of
fever； a moment's delirium；〃 and he tore the whole lining out of the
left pocket of his trousers。 At that instant the sunlight fell on
his left boot； on the sock which poked out from the boot； he fancied
there were traces！ He flung off his boots： 〃traces indeed！ The tip
of the sock was soaked with blood〃； he must have unwarily stepped into
that pool。。。。 〃But what am I to do with this now？ Where am I to put
the sock and rags and pocket？〃
He gathered them all up in his hands and stood in the middle of
the room。
〃In the stove？ But they would ransack the stove first of all。 Burn
them？ But what can I burn them with？ There are no matches even。 No；
better go out and throw it all away somewhere。 Yes； better throw it
away；〃 he repeated； sitting down on the sofa again； 〃and at once； this
minute； without lingering。。。〃
But his head sank on the pillow instead。 Again the unbearable icy
shivering came over him； again he drew his coat over him。
And for a long while； for some hours； he was haunted by the
impulse to 〃go off somewhere at once； this moment； and fling it all
away； so that it may be out of sight and done with； at once； at once！〃
Several times he tried to rise from the sofa but could not。
He was thoroughly waked up at last by a violent knocking at his
door。
〃Open； do； are you dead or alive？ He keeps sleeping here！〃 shouted
Nastasya； banging with her fist on the door。 〃For whole days
together he's snoring here like a dog！ A dog he is too。 Open I tell
you。 It's past ten。〃
〃Maybe he's not at home；〃 said a man's voice。
〃Ha！ that's the porter's voice。。。。 What does he want？〃
He jumped up and sat on the sofa。 The beating of his heart was a
positive pain。
〃Then who can have latched the door？〃 retorted Nastasya。
〃He's taken to bolting himself in！ As if he were worth stealing！
Open； you stupid； wake up！〃
〃What do they want？ Why the porter？ All's discovered。 Resist or
open？ Come what may！。。。〃
He half rose； stooped forward and unlatched the door。
His room was so small that he could undo the latch without leaving
the bed。 Yes； the porter and Nastasya were standing there。
Nastasya stared at him in a strange way。 He glanced with a defiant
and desperate air at the porter； who without a word held out a grey
folded paper sealed with bottle…wax。
〃A notice from the office；〃 he announced； as he gave him the paper。
〃From what office？〃
〃A summons to the police office； of course。 You know which office。〃
〃To the police？。。。 What for？。。。〃
〃How can I tell？ You're sent for； so you go。〃
The man looked at him attentively； looked round the room and
turned to go away。
〃He's downright ill！〃 observed Nastasya； not taking her eyes off
him。 The porter turned his head for a moment。 〃He's been in a fever
since yesterday；〃 she added。
Raskolnikov made no response and held the paper in his hands；
without opening it。 〃Don't you get up then；〃 Nastasya went on
compassionately； seeing that he was letting his feet down from the
sofa。 〃You're ill； and so don't go； there's no such hurry。 What have
you got there？〃
He looked； in his right hand he held the shreds he had cut from
his trousers； the sock； and the rags of the pocket。 So he had been
asleep with them in his hand。 Afterwards reflecting upon it； he
remembered that half waking up in his fever； he had grasped all this
tightly in his hand and so fallen asleep again。
〃Look at the rags he's collected and sleeps with them； as though
he has got hold of a treasure。。。〃
And Nastasya went off into her hysterical giggle。
Instantly he thrust them all under his great coat and fixed his eyes
intently upon her。 Far as he was from being capable of rational
reflection at that moment； he felt that no one would behave like
that with a person who was going to be arrested。 〃But。。。 the police？〃
〃You'd better have some tea！ Yes？ I'll bring it； there's some left。〃
〃No。。。 I'm going； I'll go at once；〃 he muttered； getting on to his
feet。
〃Why； you'll never get downstairs！〃
〃Yes； I'll go。〃
〃As you please。〃
She followed the porter out。
At once he rushed to the light to examine the sock and the rags。
〃There are stains； but not very noticeable； all covered with dirt；
and rubbed and already discoloured。 No one who had no suspicion
could distinguish anything。 Nastasya from a distance could not have
noticed； thank God！〃 Then with a tremor he broke the seal of the
notice and began reading； he was a long while reading； before he
understood。 It was an ordinary summons from the district police
station to appear that day at half past nine at the office of the
district superintendent。
〃But when has such a thing happened？ I never have anything to do
with the police！ And why
