crime and punishment(罪与罚)-第64章
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special interest in him； soon his face brightened。
〃You must go to bed at once；〃 he pronounced； examining the patient
as far as he could； 〃and take something for the night。 Will you take
it？ I got it ready some time ago。。。 a powder。〃
〃Two； if you like；〃 answered Raskolnikov。 The powder was taken at
once。
〃It's a good thing you are taking him home；〃 observed Zossimov to
Razumihin… 〃we shall see how he is to…morrow； to…day he's not at all
amiss… a considerable change since the afternoon。 Live and learn。。。〃
〃Do you know what Zossimov whispered to me when we were coming out？〃
Razumihin blurted out； as soon as they were in the street。 〃I won't
tell you everything； brother； because they are such fools。 Zossimov
told me to talk freely to you on the way and get you to talk freely to
me； and afterwards I am to tell him about it； for he's got a notion in
his head that you are。。。 mad or close on it。 Only fancy！ In the
first place； you've three times the brains he has； in the second； if
you are not mad； you needn't care a hang that he has got such a wild
idea； and thirdly； that piece of beef whose specialty is surgery has
gone mad on mental diseases； and what's brought him to this conclusion
about you was your conversation to…day with Zametov。〃
〃Zametov told you all about it？〃
〃Yes； and he did well。 Now I understand what it all means and so
does Zametov。。。。 Well； the fact is； Rodya。。。 the point is。。。 I am a
little drunk now。。。。 But that's。。。 no matter。。。 the point is that this
idea。。。 you understand？ was just being hatched in their brains。。。
you understand？ That is； no one ventured to say it aloud； because
the idea is too absurd and especially since the arrest of that
painter； that bubble's burst and gone for ever。 But why are they
such fools？ I gave Zametov a bit of a thrashing at the time… that's
between ourselves； brother； please don't let out a hint that you
know of it； I've noticed he is a ticklish subject； it was at Luise
Ivanovna's。 But to…day； to…day it's all cleared up。 That Ilya
Petrovitch is at the bottom of it！ He took advantage of your
fainting at the police station； but he is ashamed of it himself now； I
know that。。。〃
Raskolnikov listened greedily。 Razumihin was drunk enough to talk
too freely。
〃I fainted then because it was so close and the smell of paint；〃
said Raskolnikov。
〃No need to explain that！ And it wasn't the paint only： the fever
had been coming on for a month； Zossimov testifies to that！ But how
crushed that boy is now； you wouldn't believe！ 'I am not worth his
little finger；' he says。 Yours； he means。 He has good feelings at
times； brother。 But the lesson； the lesson you gave him to…day in
the Palais de Crystal； that was too good for anything！ You
frightened him at first； you know； he nearly went into convulsions！
You almost convinced him again of the truth of all that hideous
nonsense； and then you suddenly… put out your tongue at him： 'There
now； what do you make of it？' It was perfect！ He is crushed；
annihilated now！ It was masterly； by Jove； it's what they deserve！ Ah；
that I wasn't there！ He was hoping to see you awfully。 Porfiry； too；
wants to make your acquaintance。。。〃
〃Ah！。。。 he too。。。 but why did they put me down as mad？〃
〃Oh； not mad。 I must have said too much； brother。。。。 What struck
him； you see； was that only that subject seemed to interest you； now
it's clear why it did interest you； knowing all the
circumstances。。。。 and how that irritated you and worked in with your
illness。。。 I am a little drunk； brother； only； confound him； he has
some idea of his own。。。 I tell you； he's mad on mental diseases。 But
don't you mind him。。。〃
For half a minute both were silent。
〃Listen； Razumihin；〃 began Raskolnikov； 〃I want to tell you plainly：
I've just been at a death…bed； a clerk who died。。。 I gave them all
my money。。。 and besides I've just been kissed by some one who； if I
had killed any one； would just the same。。。 in fact I saw some one else
there。。。 with a flame…coloured feather。。。 but I am talking nonsense； I
am very weak； support me。。。 we shall be at the stairs directly。。。〃
〃What's the matter？ What's the matter with you？〃 Razumihin asked
anxiously。
〃I am a little giddy； but that's not the point； I am so sad； so
sad。。。 like a woman。 Look； what's that？ Look； look！〃
〃What is it？〃
〃Don't you see？ A light in my room； you see？ Through the crack。。。〃
They were already at the foot of the last flight of stairs； at the
level of the landlady's door； and they could； as a fact； see from
below that there was a light in Raskolnikov's garret。
〃Queer！ Nastasya； perhaps；〃 observed Razumihin。
〃She is never in my room at this time and she must be in bed long
ago； but。。。 I don't care！ Good…bye！〃
〃What do you mean？ I am coming with you； we'll come in together！〃
〃I know we are going in together； but I want to shake hands here and
say good…bye to you here。 So give me your hand； good…bye！〃
〃What's the matter with you； Rodya？〃
〃Nothing。。。 come along。。。 you shall be witness。〃
They began mounting the stairs； and the idea struck Razumihin that
perhaps Zossimov might be right after all。 〃Ah； I've upset him with my
chatter！〃 he muttered to himself。
When they reached the door they heard voices in the room。
〃What is it？〃 cried Razumihin。 Raskolnikov was the first to open the
door； he flung it wide and stood still in the doorway； dumbfounded。
His mother and sister were sitting on his sofa and had been
waiting an hour and a half for him。 Why had he never expected； never
thought of them； though the news that they had started； were on
their way and would arrive immediately； had been repeated to him
only that day？ They had spent that hour and a half plying Nastasya
with questions。 She was standing before them and had told them
everything by now。 They were beside themselves with alarm when they
heard of his 〃running away〃 to…day； ill and； as they understood from
her story； delirious！ 〃Good Heavens； what had become of him？〃 Both had
been weeping； both had been in anguish for that hour and a half。
A cry of joy； of ecstasy； greeted Raskolnikov's entrance。 Both
rushed to him。 But he stood like one dead； a sudden intolerable
sensation struck him like a thunderbolt。 He did not lift his arms to
embrace them； he could not。 His mother and sister clasped him in their
arms； kissed him； laughed and cried。 He took a step； tottered and fell
to the ground； fainting。
Anxiety； cries of horr
