crime and punishment(罪与罚)-第74章
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of his hand。
〃Yes； indeed； I am quite surprised at him to…day；〃 began Zossimov；
much delighted at the ladies' entrance； for he had not succeeded in
keeping up a conversation with his patient for ten minutes。 〃In
another three or four days； if he goes on like this； he will be just
as before； that is； as he was a month ago； or two。。。 or perhaps even
three。 This has been coming on for a long while。。。。 eh？ Confess；
now； that it has been perhaps your own fault？〃 he added； with a
tentative smile； as though still afraid of irritating him。
〃It is very possible；〃 answered Raskolnikov coldly。
〃I should say； too；〃 continued Zossimov with zest； 〃that your
complete recovery depends solely on yourself。 Now that one can talk to
you； I should like to impress upon you that it is essential to avoid
the elementary； so to speak； fundamental causes tending to produce
your morbid condition： in that case you will be cured； if not； it will
go from bad to worse。 These fundamental causes I don't know； but
they must be known to you。 You are an intelligent man； and must have
observed yourself； of course。 I fancy the first stage of your
derangement coincides with your leaving the university。 You must not
be left without occupation； and so； work and a definite aim set before
you might； I fancy； be very beneficial。〃
〃Yes； yes； you are perfectly right。。。。 I will make haste and
return to the university： and then everything will go smoothly。。。。〃
Zossimov； who had begun his sage advice partly to make an effect
before the ladies； was certainly somewhat mystified； when； glancing at
his patient； he observed unmistakable mockery on his face。 This lasted
an instant； however。 Pulcheria Alexandrovna began at once thanking
Zossimov； especially for his visit to their lodging the previous
night。
〃What！ he saw you last night？〃 Raskolnikov asked； as though
startled。 〃Then you have not slept either after your journey。〃
〃Ach； Rodya； that was only till two o'clock。 Dounia and I never go
to bed before two at home。〃
〃I don't know how to thank him either；〃 Raskolnikov went on suddenly
frowning and looking down。 〃Setting aside the question of payment…
forgive me for referring to it （he turned to Zossimov）… I really don't
know what I have done to deserve such special attention from you！ I
simply don't understand it。。。 and。。。 and。。。 it weighs upon me； indeed；
because I don't understand it。 I tell you so candidly。〃
〃Don't be irritated。〃 Zossimov forced himself to laugh。 〃Assume that
you are my first patient… well… we fellows just beginning to
practise love our first patients as if they were our children； and
some almost fall in love with them。 And； of course； I am not rich in
patients。〃
〃I say nothing about him；〃 added Raskolnikov； pointing to Razumihin；
〃though he has had nothing from me either but insult and trouble。〃
〃What nonsense he is talking！ Why； you are in a sentimental mood
to…day； are you？〃 shouted Razumihin。
If he had had more penetration he would have seen that there was
no trace of sentimentality in him； but something indeed quite the
opposite。 But Avdotya Romanovna noticed it。 She was intently and
uneasily watching her brother。
〃As for you； mother； I don't dare to speak；〃 he went on； as though
repeating a lesson learned by heart。 〃It is only to…day that I have
been able to realise a little how distressed you must have been here
yesterday； waiting for me to come back。〃
When he had said this； he suddenly held out his hand to his
sister； smiling without a word。 But in this smile there was a flash of
real unfeigned feeling。 Dounia caught it at once； and warmly pressed
his hand； overjoyed and thankful。 It was the first time he had
addressed her since their dispute the previous day。 The mother's
face lighted up with ecstatic happiness at the sight of this
conclusive unspoken reconciliation。 〃Yes； that is what I love him
for；〃 Razumihin； exaggerating it all； muttered to himself； with a
vigorous turn in his chair。 〃He has these movements。〃
〃And how well he does it all；〃 the mother was thinking to herself。
〃What generous impulses he has； and how simply； how delicately he
put an end to all the misunderstanding with his sister… simply by
holding out his hand at the right minute and looking at her like
that。。。。 And what fine eyes he has； and how fine his whole face is！。。。
He is even better looking than Dounia。。。。 But； good heavens； what a
suit… how terribly he's dressed！。。。 Vasya； the messenger boy in
Afanasy Ivanitch's shop； is better dressed！ I could rush at him and
hug him。。。 weep over him… but I am afraid。。。。 Oh； dear； he's so
strange！ He's talking kindly； but I'm afraid！ Why； what am I afraid
of？。。。〃
〃Oh； Rodya； you wouldn't believe；〃 she began suddenly； in haste to
answer his words to her； 〃how unhappy Dounia and I were yesterday！ Now
that it's all over and done with and we are quite happy again… I can
tell you。 Fancy； we ran here almost straight from the train to embrace
you and that woman… ah； here she is！ Good morning； Nastasya！。。。 She
told us at once that you were lying in a high fever and had just run
away from the doctor in delirium； and they were looking for you in the
streets。 You can't imagine how we felt！ I couldn't help thinking of
the tragic end of Lieutenant Potanchikov； a friend of your father's…
you can't remember him； Rodya… who ran out in the same way in a high
fever and fell into the well in the courtyard and they couldn't pull
him out till next day。 Of course； we exaggerated things。 We were on
the point of rushing to find Pyotr Petrovitch to ask him to help。。。。
Because we were alone； utterly alone；〃 she said plaintively and
stopped short； suddenly； recollecting it was still somewhat
dangerous to speak of Pyotr Petrovitch； although 〃we are quite happy
again。〃
〃Yes； yes。。。。 Of course it's very annoying。。。。〃 Raskolnikov muttered
in reply； but with such a preoccupied and inattentive air that
Dounia gazed at him in perplexity。
〃What else was it I wanted to say；〃 he went on trying to
recollect。 〃Oh； yes； mother； and you too； Dounia； please don't think
that I didn't mean to come and see you to…day and was waiting for
you to come first。〃
〃What are you saying； Rodya？〃 cried Pulcheria Alexandrovna。 She；
too； was surprised。
〃Is he answering us as a duty？〃 Dounia wondered。 〃Is he being
reconciled and asking forgiveness as though he were performing a
rite or repeating a lesson？〃
〃I've only just waked up； and wanted to go to you； but was delayed
owing to my clothes； I f
