crime and punishment(罪与罚)-第94章
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have done it！ Women find nothing incompatible in that。〃
〃If it hadn't been for that； would you have given her the slip？〃
〃I don't know what to say。 It was scarcely the document restrained
me。 I didn't want to go anywhere else。 Marfa Petrovna herself
invited me to go abroad； seeing I was bored； but I've been abroad
before； and always felt sick there。 For no reason； but the sunrise；
the bay of Naples； the sea… you look at them and it makes you sad。
What's most revolting is that one is really sad！ No； it's better at
home。 Here at least one blames others for everything and excuses
oneself。 I should have gone perhaps on an expedition to the North
Pole； because j'ai le vin mauvais and hate drinking； and there's
nothing left but wine。 I have tried it。 But； I say； I've been told
Berg is going up in a great balloon next Sunday from the Yusupov
Garden and will take up passengers at a fee。 Is it true？〃
〃Why； would you go up？〃
〃I。。。 No； oh； no；〃 muttered Svidrigailov really seeming to be deep
in thought。
〃What does he mean？ Is he in earnest？〃 Raskolnikov wondered。
〃No； the document didn't restrain me；〃 Svidrigailov went on；
meditatively。 〃It was my own doing； not leaving the country； and
nearly a year ago Marfa Petrovna gave me back the document on my
name day and made me a present of a considerable sum of money； too。
She had a fortune； you know。 'You see how I trust you； Arkady
Ivanovitch'… that was actually her expression。 You don't believe she
used it？ But do you know I managed the estate quite decently； they
know me in the neighbourhood。 I ordered books； too。 Marfa Petrovna
at first approved； but afterwards she was afraid of my over…studying。〃
〃You seem to be missing Marfa Petrovna very much？〃
〃Missing her？ Perhaps。 Really； perhaps I am。 And； by the way； do you
believe in ghosts？〃
〃What ghosts？〃
〃Why； ordinary ghosts。〃
〃Do you believe in them？〃
〃Perhaps not； pour vous plaire。。。。 I wouldn't say no exactly。〃
〃Do you see them； then？〃
Svidrigailov looked at him rather oddly。
〃Marfa Petrovna is pleased to visit me；〃 he said； twisting his mouth
into a strange smile。
〃How do you mean 'she is pleased to visit you'？〃
〃She has been three times。 I saw her first on the very day of the
funeral； an hour after she was buried。 It was the day before I left to
come here。 The second time was the day before yesterday； at
daybreak； on the journey at the station of Malaya Vishera； and the
third time was two hours ago in the room where I am staying。 I was
alone。〃
〃Were you awake？〃
〃Quite awake。 I was wide awake every time。 She comes； speaks to me
for a minute and goes out at the door… always at the door。 I can
almost hear her。〃
〃What made me think that something of the sort must be happening
to you？〃 Raskolnikov said suddenly。
At the same moment he was surprised at having said it。 He was much
excited。
〃What！ Did you think so？〃 Svidrigailov asked in astonishment。 〃Did
you really？ Didn't I say that there was something in common between
us； eh？〃
〃You never said so！〃 Raskolnikov cried sharply and with heat。
〃Didn't I？〃
〃No！〃
〃I thought I did。 When I came in and saw you lying with your eyes
shut； pretending； I said to myself at once 'here's the man。'〃
〃What do you mean by 'the man？' What are you talking about？〃 cried
Raskolnikov。
〃What do I mean？ I really don't know。。。。〃 Svidrigailov muttered
ingenuously； as though he； too； were puzzled。
For a minute they were silent。 They stared in each other's faces。
〃That's all nonsense！〃 Raskolnikov shouted with vexation。 〃What does
she say when she comes to you？〃
〃She！ Would you believe it； she talks of the silliest trifles and…
man is a strange creature… it makes me angry。 The first time she
came in （I was tired you know： the funeral service； the funeral
ceremony； the lunch afterwards。 At last I was left alone in my
study。 I lighted a cigar and began to think）； she came in at the door。
'You've been so busy to…day； Arkady Ivanovitch； you have forgotten
to wind the dining room clock；' she said。 All those seven years I've
wound that clock every week； and if I forgot it she would always
remind me。 The next day I set off on my way here。 I got out at the
station at daybreak； I'd been asleep； tired out； with my eyes half
open； I was drinking some coffee。 I looked up and there was suddenly
Marfa Petrovna sitting beside me with a pack of cards in her hands。
'Shall I tell your fortune for the journey； Arkady Ivanovitch？' She
was a great hand at telling fortunes。 I shall never forgive myself for
not asking her to。 I ran away in a fright； and； besides； the bell
rang。 I was sitting to…day； feeling very heavy after a miserable
dinner from a cookshop； I was sitting smoking； all of a sudden Marfa
Petrovna again。 She came in very smart in a new green silk dress
with a long train。 'Good day； Arkady Ivanovitch！ How do you like my
dress？ Aniska can't make like this。' （Aniska was a dressmaker in the
country； one of our former serf girls who had been trained in
Moscow； a pretty wench。） She stood turning round before me。 I looked
at the dress； and then I looked carefully； very carefully； at her
face。 'I wonder you trouble to come to me about such trifles； Marfa
Petrovna。' 'Good gracious； you won't let one disturb you about
anything！' To tease her I said； 'I want to get married； Marfa
Petrovna。' 'That's just like you； Arkady Ivanovitch； it does you
very little credit to come looking for a bride when you've hardly
buried your wife。 And if you could make a good choice； at least； but I
know it won't be for your happiness or hers； you will only be a
laughing…stock to all good people。' Then she went out and her train
seemed to rustle。 Isn't it nonsense； eh？〃
〃But perhaps you are telling lies？〃 Raskolnikov put in。
〃I rarely lie；〃 answered Svidrigailov thoughtfully； apparently not
noticing the rudeness of the question。
〃And in the past； have you ever seen ghosts before？〃
〃Y…yes； I have seen them； but only once in my life； six years ago。 I
had a serf； Filka； just after his burial I called out forgetting
'Filka； my pipe！' He cam
