the diary of an old soul(一颗衰老灵魂的日记)-第7章
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death； and I aloud Should triumph over him； with thy saintly crowd； That
where the Lamb goes ever followeth。
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The Diary of an Old Soul
MAY。
1。
WHAT though my words glance sideways from the thing Which I
would utter in thine ear； my sire！ Truth in the inward parts thou dost
desire Wise hunger； not a fitness fine of speech： The little child that
clamouring fails to reach With upstretched hand the fringe of her attire；
Yet meets the mother's hand down hurrying。
2。
Even when their foolish words they turned on him； He did not his
disciples send away； He knew their hearts were foolish； eyes were dim；
And therefore by his side needs must they stay。 Thou will not； Lord； send
me away from thee。 When I am foolish； make thy cock crow grim； If that
is not enough； turn； Lord； and look on me。
3。
Another day of gloom and slanting rain！ Of closed skies； cold winds；
and blight and bane！ Such not the weather； Lord； which thou art fain To
give thy chosen； sweet to heart and brain！ Until we mourn； thou keep'st
the merry tune； Thy hand unloved its pleasure must restrain； Nor spoil
both gift and child by lavishing too soon。
4。
But all things shall be ours！ Up； heart； and sing。 All things were made
for uswe are God's heirs Moon； sun； and wildest comets that do trail A
crowd of small worlds for a swiftness…tail！ Up from Thy depths in me； my
child…heart bring The child alone inherits anything： God's little children…
godsall things are theirs！
5。
Thy great deliverance is a greater thing Than purest imagination can
foregrasp； A thing beyond all conscious hungering； Beyond all hope that
makes the poet sing。 It takes the clinging world； undoes its clasp； Floats it
afar upon a mighty sea； And leaves us quiet with love and liberty and thee。
6。
Through all the fog； through all earth's wintery sighs； I scent Thy
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spring； I feel the eternal air； Warm； soft； and dewy； filled with flowery
eyes； And gentle； murmuring motions everywhere Of life in heart； and
tree； and brook； and moss； Thy breath wakes beauty； love； and bliss； and
prayer； And strength to hang with nails upon thy cross。
7。
If thou hadst closed my life in seed and husk； And cast me into soft；
warm； damp； dark mould； All unaware of light come through the dusk； I
yet should feel the split of each shelly fold； Should feel the growing of my
prisoned heart； And dully dream of being slow unrolled； And in some
other vagueness taking part。
8。
And little as the world I should foreknow Up into which I was about to
rise Its rains； its radiance； airs； and warmth； and skies； How it would
greet me； how its wind would blow As little； it may be； I do know the
good Which I for years half darkling have pursued The second birth for
which my nature cries。
9。
The life that knows not； patient waits； nor longs： I know； and would
be patient； yet would long。 I can be patient for all coming songs； But let
me sing my one monotonous song。 To me the time is slow my mould
among； To quicker life I fain would spur and start The aching growth at
my dull…swelling heart。
10。
Christ is the pledge that I shall one day see； That one day； still with
him； I shall awake； And know my God； at one with him and free。 O lordly
essence； come to life in me； The will…throb let me feel that doth me make；
Now have I many a mighty hope in thee； Then shall I rest although the
universe should quake。
11。
Haste to me； Lord； when this fool…heart of mine Begins to gnaw itself
with selfish craving； Or； like a foul thing scarcely worth the saving； Swoln
up with wrath； desireth vengeance fine。 Haste； Lord； to help； when reason
favours wrong； Haste when thy soul； the high…born thing divine； Is torn by
passion's raving； maniac throng。
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12。
Fair freshness of the God…breathed spirit air； Pass through my soul；
and make it strong to love； Wither with gracious cold what demons dare
Shoot from my hell into my world above； Let them drop down； like leaves
the sun doth sear； And flutter far into the inane and bare； Leaving my
middle…earth calm； wise； and clear。
13。
Even thou canst give me neither thought nor thing； Were it the
priceless pearl hid in the land； Which； if I fix thereon a greedy gaze；
Becomes not poison that doth burn and cling； Their own bad look my
foolish eyes doth daze； They see the gift； see not the giving hand 》From
the living root the apple dead I wring。
14。
This versing； even the reading of the tale That brings my heart its joy
unspeakable； Sometimes will softly； unsuspectedly hale That heart from
thee； and all its pulses quell。 Discovery's pride； joy's bliss； take aback my
sail； And sweep me from thy presence and my grace； Because my eyes
dropped from the master's face。
15。
Afresh I seek thee。 Lead meonce more I pray Even should it be
against my will； thy way。 Let me not feel thee foreign any hour； Or shrink
from thee as an estranged power。 Through doubt； through faith； through
bliss； through stark dismay； Through sunshine； wind； or snow； or fog； or
shower； Draw me to thee who art my only day。
16。
I would go near theebut I cannot press Into thy presenceit helps not
to presume。 Thy doors are deeds； the handles are their doing。 He whose
day…life is obedient righteousness； Who； after failure； or a poor success；
Rises up； stronger effort yet renewing He finds thee； Lord； at length； in
his own common room。
17。
Lord； thou hast carried me through this evening's duty； I am released；
weary； and well content。 O soul； put on the evening dress of beauty； Thy
sunset…flush； of gold and purple blent！ Alas； the moment I turn to my
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heart； Feeling runs out of doors； or stands apart！ But such as I am； Lord；
take me as thou art。
18。
The word he then did speak； fits now as then； For the same kind of
men doth mock at it。 God…fools； God…drunkards these do call the men Who
think the poverty of their all not fit； Borne humbly by their art； their voice；
their pen； Save for its allness； at thy feet to fling； For whom all is unfit that
is not everything。
19。
O Christ； my life； possess me utterly。 Take me and make a little Christ
of me。 If I am anything but thy father's son； 'Tis something not yet from
the darkness won。 Oh； give me light to live with open eyes。 Oh； give me
life to hope above all skies。 Give me thy spirit to haunt the Father with my
cries。
20。
'Tis hard for man to rouse his spirit up It is the human creative agony；
Though but to hold the heart an empty cup； Or tighten on the team the
rigid rein。 Many will rather lie among the slain Than creep through narro
