the red badge of courage(红色英勇勋章)-第4章
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〃Oh； they'll fight all right； I guess； after they once get into it；〃 said the
other with cold judg… ment。 He made a fine use of the third person。
〃There's been heaps of fun poked at 'em because they're new； of course；
and all that； but they'll fight all right； I guess。〃
〃Think any of the boys 'll run？〃 persisted the youth。
〃Oh； there may be a few of 'em run； but there's them kind in every
regiment； 'specially when they first goes under fire；〃 said the other in a
tolerant way。 〃Of course it might happen that the hull kit…and…boodle
might start and run； if some big fighting came first…off； and then again
they might stay and fight like fun。 But you can't bet on nothing。 Of
course they ain't never been under fire yet； and it ain't likely they'll lick the
hull rebel army all…to…oncet the first time； but I think they'll fight better
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The Red Badge of Courage
than some； if worse than others。 That's the way I figger。 They call the
reg'ment 'Fresh fish' and everything； but the boys come of good stock； and
most of 'em 'll fight like sin after they oncet git shootin'；〃 he added； with a
mighty emphasis on the last four words。
〃Oh； you think you know〃 began the loud soldier with scorn。
The other turned savagely upon him。 They had a rapid altercation； in
which they fastened upon each other various strange epithets。
The youth at last interrupted them。 〃Did you ever think you might
run yourself； Jim？〃 he asked。 On concluding the sentence he laughed as
if he had meant to aim a joke。 The loud sol… dier also giggled。
The tall private waved his hand。 〃Well；〃 said he profoundly； 〃I've
thought it might get too hot for Jim Conklin in some of them scrimmages；
and if a whole lot of boys started and run； why； I s'pose I'd start and run。
And if I once started to run； I'd run like the devil； and no mistake。 But if
everybody was a…standing and a…fighting； why； I'd stand and fight。 Be
jiminey； I would。 I'll bet on it。〃
〃Huh！〃 said the loud one。
The youth of this tale felt gratitude for these words of his comrade。
He had feared that all of the untried men possessed a great and correct
confidence。 He now was in a measure reassured。
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The Red Badge of Courage
CHAPTER II。
THE next morning the youth discovered that his tall comrade had
been the fast…flying messen… ger of a mistake。 There was much scoffing
at the latter by those who had yesterday been firm adherents of his views；
and there was even a lit… tle sneering by men who had never believed the
rumor。 The tall one fought with a man from Chatfield Corners and beat
him severely。
The youth felt； however； that his problem was in no wise lifted from
him。 There was； on the contrary； an irritating prolongation。 The tale
had created in him a great concern for himself。 Now； with the newborn
question in his mind； he was compelled to sink back into his old place as
part of a blue demonstration。
For days he made ceaseless calculations； but they were all wondrously
unsatisfactory。 He found that he could establish nothing。 He final… ly
concluded that the only way to prove himself was to go into the blaze； and
then figuratively to
18 watch his legs to discover their merits and faults。 He reluctantly
admitted that he could not sit still and with a mental slate and pencil derive
an answer。 To gain it； he must have blaze； blood； and danger； even as a
chemist requires this； that； and the other。 So he fretted for an
opportunity。
Meanwhile he continually tried to measure himself by his comrades。
The tall soldier； for one； gave him some assurance。 This man's se… rene
unconcern dealt him a measure of con… fidence； for he had known him
since childhood； and from his intimate knowledge he did not see how he
could be capable of anything that was beyond him； the youth。 Still； he
thought that his comrade might be mistaken about himself。 Or； on the
other hand； he might be a man here… tofore doomed to peace and obscurity；
but； in reality； made to shine in war。
The youth would have liked to have discov… ered another who
suspected himself。 A sympa… thetic comparison of mental notes would
have been a joy to him。
He occasionally tried to fathom a comrade with seductive sentences。
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The Red Badge of Courage
He looked about to find men in the proper mood。 All attempts failed to
bring forth any statement which looked in any way like a confession to
those doubts which he privately acknowledged in himself。 He was afraid
to make an open declaration of his concern； because he dreaded to place
some unscrupulous confidant upon the high plane of the unconfessed from
which elevation he could be derided。
In regard to his companions his mind wa… vered between two opinions；
according to his mood。 Sometimes he inclined to believing them all
heroes。 In fact； he usually admitted in secret the superior development of
the higher qualities in others。 He could conceive of men going very
insignificantly about the world bearing a load of courage unseen； and
although he had known many of his comrades through boyhood； he be…
gan to fear that his judgment of them had been blind。 Then； in other
moments； he flouted these theories； and assured himself that his fellows
were all privately wondering and quaking。
His emotions made him feel strange in the presence of men who talked
excitedly of a pro… spective battle as of a drama they were about to witness；
with nothing but eagerness and curiosity apparent in their faces。 It was
often that he sus… pected them to be liars。
He did not pass such thoughts without severe condemnation of himself。
He dinned reproaches at times。 He was convicted by himself of many
shameful crimes against the gods of traditions。
In his great anxiety his heart was continually clamoring at what he
considered the intolerable slowness of the generals。 They seemed
content to perch tranquilly on the river bank； and leave him bowed down
by the weight of a great prob… lem。 He wanted it settled forthwith。 He
could not long bear such a load； he said。 Sometimes his anger at the
commanders reached an acute stage； and he grumbled about the camp like
a veteran。
One morning； however； he found himself in the ranks of his prepared
regiment。 The men were whispering speculations and recounting the old
rumors。 In the gloom before the break of the day their uniforms glowed
a deep purple hue。 From across the river the red eyes were still peering。
In the eastern sky there was a yel… low patch like a rug laid for the feet of
