the captives-第33章
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spring back into the quiet house； lock and bolt the door； and never go out again。 But； after that one glance； she went forward。
She had never before in her life been on any errand alone； and at this evening hour the Strand was very full。 She stood still clinging to the safe privacy of her own street and peering over into the blaze and quiver of the tumult。 In the Strand end of her own street there were several dramatic agencies； a second…hand book and print shop with piles of dirty music in the barrow outside the window； a little restaurant with cold beef； an ancient chicken； hard…boiled eggs and sponge cakes under glass domes in the window； everywhere about her were dim doors； glimpses of twisting stairs； dusty windows and figures flitting up and down； in and out as though they were marionettes pulled by invisible strings to fulfil some figure。
These were all in the dusk of the side…street； a large draper's with shirts and collars and grinning wax boys in sailor suits caught with its front windows the Strand lamps。 It was beside the shop that Maggie stood for an instant hesitating。 She could see no pillar…box； she could see nothing save the streams of human beings； slipping like water between the banks of houses。
She hesitated； clinging to the draper's shop； then； suddenly catching sight of the pillar…box a few yards down the street； she let herself go； had a momentary sensation of swimming in a sea desperately crowded with other bodies； fought against the fierce gaze of lights that beat straight upon her eyes； found the box； slipped in the letter； and then； almost at once； was back in her quiet quarters again。
She turned and； her heart beating； hurried home。 The house door was still ajar。 She pushed it back； slipped inside； caught her breath and listened。 Then she closed the door softly behind her； and with that little act of attempted secrecy realised that she was now a rebel； that things could never be； for her； the same again as they had been a quarter of an hour ago。 That glittering crowd； the lamps； the smells； the sounds； had concentrated themselves into a little fiery charm that held her heart within a flaming circle。 She felt the most audacious creature in the worldand also the most ignorant。 Not helplessno； never helplessbut so ignorant that all her life that had seemed to her； a quarter of an hour ago； so tensely crowded with events and crises was now empty and barren like the old straw…smelling cab at home。 She did not want to offend her aunts and hurt their feelings； but she was a living； breathing； independent creature and she must go her own way。 Neither they nor their chapel should stop herno； not the chapel nor any one in it。
She was standing； motionless； in the dark cold hall； wondering whether any one had heard her enter； when she was suddenly conscious of two eyes that watched hertwo steady fiery eyes suspended as it seemed in mid air。 She realised that it was the cat。 The cat hated her and she hated it。 She had not realised that before； but now with the illumination of the lighted street behind her she realised it。 The cat was the spirit of the chapel watching her； spying upon her tc see that she did not escape。 The cat knew that she had posted her letter and to whom she had posted it。 She advanced to the bottom of the stair and said： 〃Brr。 You horrid thing！ I hate you！〃 and instantly the two fiery eyes had vanished； but now in their place the whole house seemed to be watching； so silent and attentive was itand the odour of damp biscuits and wet umbrellas seemed to be everywhere。
Just then old Martha came out with a lamp in her hand； and standing upon a chair； lit the great ugly gas over the middle of the door。
〃Why； Miss Maggie；〃 she said in her soft； surprised whisper； looking as she always did； beyond the girl； into darkness。
〃I've been out；〃 said Maggie； defiantly。
〃Not all alone； miss？〃
〃All alone；〃 said Maggie。 〃Why not？ I can look after myself。〃
〃Well； there's your uncle waiting in the drawing…roomjust come；〃 said the old woman； climbing down from the chair with that silent imperturbable discontent that always frightened Maggie。
〃Uncle Mathew！ Here！ in this house！〃 Maggie； even in the moment of her first astonishment； was amazed at her own delight。 That she should ever feel THAT about Uncle Mathew！ Truly it showed how unhappy she had been； and she ran upstairs； two steps at a time； and pushed back the drawing…room door。
〃Uncle Mathew！〃 she cried。
Then at the sight of him she stood where she was。 The man who faced her； with all his old confusion of nervousness and uneasy geniality； was； indeed； Uncle Mathew； but Uncle Mathew glorified； shabbily glorified and at the same time a little abashed as though she had caught him in the act of laying a mine that would blow up the whole house。 He was wearing finer clothes than she had ever seen him in beforea frock coat； quite new but fitting him badly； so that it was buttoned too tightly across his stomach and loose across the back。 He had a white flower in his button…hole； and a rather soiled white handkerchief protruded from his breast…pocket。 One leg of his dark grey trousers had been creased in two places； and there were little spots of blood on his high white collar because he had cut himself shaving。 His complexion was of the same old suppressed purple； but his little eyes were bright and shining and active； they danced towards Maggie。 His scanty locks had been carefully brushed over his bald head； and his hands； although they were still puffed and swollen； were whiter than Maggie had ever seen them。
But it was in the end his attitude of confused defiance that made her pause。 What had he been doing； or what did he intend to do？ He was prosperous； she could see； and knowing him as she did； she was afraid of his prosperity。 She had never in her life realised so clearly as she did now that he was a wicked old manand still she was glad to see him。 He was an odd enough creature in that room； and that； she was aware； pleased her。
〃Well； my dear；〃 he said very genially； as though they met again after an hour's parting； 〃how are you？ I'm very glad to see you looking so well too。 And quite smart。 Your aunts dressed you up。 I thought I must look at you。 I'm staying just round the corner； and my first thought was 'I wonder how she's getting on in all that tom… foolery。 You bet she's keeping her head。' And so you are。 One can see at a glance。〃
She went up to him； kissed him； and smelt whisky and some scent that had geraniums in it。 He put his arm round her； with his old unsteady gesture； and held her to him for a moment； then patted her back with his large； soft hand。
〃Your aunt's a long time。 I've been waiting half an hour。〃
〃They've been to some meeting。〃 She stood looking at him with her fine steady gaze that had always made him afraid of her； and did so； to his own surprise； again now。 He had thought that his clothes would have saved him from that； his fingers felt at his button…hole。 Looking at him she said：
〃Uncle； I want to get awayout of thisat once。 No； they aren't horrid to me。 Every one's been very kind。 But I'm afraid of it all of never getting out of itand I want to be independent 。 。 。〃 She stopped with a little breathless gasp because she heard the hall… door close。 〃Ah； they're here！ Don't tell them anything。 We'll talk afterwards 。 。 。〃
His eyes glittered with satisfaction。 〃I knew you would； my dear。 I knew you wouldn't be able to stand it 。 。 。 I'll get you out of it 。 。 。 Trust me！〃
The door opened and Aunt Anne came in。 She had been prepared by Martha for her visitor； and she came forward to him now with the dignity and kindly patronage of some lady abbess receiving the miscreant and boorish yokel of a neighbouring village。 And yet how fine she was！ As Maggie watched her； she thought of what she would give to have some of that self…command and dignity and decision。 Was it her religion that gave her that？ Or only her own self… satisfaction？ No； there was something behind Aunt Anne； something stronger than she； something that Mr。 Warlock also knew 。 。 。 and it was this something that Uncle Mathew met with his own hostility as he looked up now at his sister and greeted her：
〃Why； Mathew
