the captives-第58章

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〃I　can't　help　being　glad；〃　Maggie　answered。　〃There　are　such　interesting　things　you　might　do。　I　can't　imagine　why　any　one　writes　books　now　when　there　are　so　many　already　in　existence　that　nobody's　read。〃

He　wasn't　listening　to　her。　He　looked　up　suddenly　and　said　quite　wildly：

〃It's　terrible　all　this　that's　going　on。　You　know　about　it；　of　courseWarlock's　visions　I　mean　and　the　trouble　it's　making。　I'm　outside　it　and　you're　outside　it；　but　we're　being　brought　into　it　all　the　samehow　can　we　help　it　when　we　love　the　people　who　are　in　it？　It's　so　easy　to　say　that　it's　nonsense；　that　people　ought　to　be　wiser　nowadays；　that　it's　hysteria；　even　insanityI　know　all　that　and；　of　course；　I　don't　believe　for　a　moment　that　God's　coming　in　a　chariot　of　fire　on　New　Year's　Eve　especially　for　the　benefit　of　Thurston；　Miss　Avies　and　the　rest；　but　that　doesn't　end　itit　ought　to　end　it；　but　it　doesn't。　There's　more　in　some　people's　madness　than　in　other　people's　sanity；　and　anyway；　even　if　it's　all　nonsense　it　means　life　or　death　to　your　aunt　and　some　of　the　others；　and　it　means　a　certain　breaking　up　of　all　this　place。　And　it　probably　means　the　triumph　of　a　charlatan　like　Thurston　and　the　increase　of　humbug　in　the　world　and　the　discouragement　of　all　the　honest　adventurers。　I　call　myself　an　adventurer；　you　know；　Miss　Maggie；　although　I'm　a　poor　specimenbut　I'm　damned　if　it　isn't　better　to　be　a　poor　adventurer　than　to　be　a　fat；　swollen；　contented　stay…at…home　who　can　see　just　as　far　as　his　nose　and　his　cheque…book　and　might　be　just　as　well　dead　as　aliveI　beg　your　pardon；〃　he　added　suddenly；　〃for　swearingI'm　not　myself；　I'm　not　really。〃

She　could　see　indeed　that　he　was　in　great　agitation　of　mind；　and　some　of　this　agitation　communicated　itself　to　her。　Had　she　not　been　selfish　in　forgetting　all　this　through　her　own　happiness？　He　was　right；　she　was　part　of　it　all；　whether　she　wished　or　no。

〃What　do　you　think；〃　she　asked；　dropping　her　voice　a　little；　〃is　the　real　truth　about　it？〃

〃The　real　truth〃he　looked　at　her　suddenly　with　a　tender；　most　charming　smile　that　took　away　his　ugliness。　〃Ah；　that's　a　tremendous　question。　Part　of　the　truth　is　that　Warlock's　been　praying　so　much　and　eating　so　little　that　it　would　be　odd　indeed　if　he　didn't　see　visions　of　some　sort。　And　part　of　the　truth　is　that　there　are　a　lot　of　women　in　the　world　who'll　believe　simply　anything　that　you　tell　them。　It's　part　of　the　truth；　too；　that　there　are　scoundrels　in　the　world　who　will　take　advantage　of　anybody's　simple　trust　to　fill　their　pockets。　But　that's　not　all；〃　he　went　on；　shaking　his　head；　〃no；　that's　not　all。　It's　part　of　the　truth　that　there　is　a　mystery；　and　that　human　beings　will　go　on　searching　whatever　all　the　materialists　and　merchants　in　the　world　can　try　to　do　to　stop　them。　I　remember　years　ago　an　old　man；　a　little　off　his　dot；　telling　my　father　that　he；　the　old　man；　was　a　treasure　hunter。　He　told　my　father　that　the　world　was　divided　into　two　halves；　the　treasure　hunters　and　the　Town　Councillors；　and　that　the　two　halves　would　never　join　and　never　even　meet。　My　father；　who　was　a　practical　man；　said　that　the　old　idiot　should　be　shut　up　in　an　asylum；　and　eventually　I　believe　he　was。　'We'll　have　him　going　off　one　day；'　my　father　said；　'in　a　cargo　boat　with　a　map　in　his　pocket；　looking　for　gold　pieces。'　But　it　wasn't　gold　pieces　he　was　after。〃

To　Maggie　it　was　always　irritating　the　way　that　Mr。　Magnus　would　wander　away　from　the　subject。　She　brought　him　back　now　with　a　jerk。

〃No；　but　what　do　you　think　is　going　to　happen？〃　she　asked　him。

〃I　don't　know；〃　he　answered。　〃I　can't　tell；　but　I　know　all　my　happiness　here　is　coming　to　an　end；　and　I　don't　know　what　I　shall　do。　If　I　were　a　strong　man　I　would　go　out　and　find　all　the　other　treasure　hunters；　all　the　vicious　ones；　and　the　diseased；　and　the　drunkards　and　the　perverted；　and　I　would　try　to　found　some　kind　of　a　society　so　that　they　should　recognise　one　another　all　the　world　over　and　shouldn't　feel　so　lonely　and　deserted　and　hopelessly　done　for。　I　don't　mean　a　society　for　improving　them；　mind　you；　or　warning　them　or　telling　them　they'll　go　to　prison　if　they　don't　do　better；　that's　none　of　my　business。　But　it　seems　to　be　a　solemn　fact　that　you　aren't　a　treasure　hunter　until　there's　something　wrong　with　you；　until　you've　got　a　sin　that's　stronger　than　you　are；　or　until　you've　done　something　that's　disgraceful　in　the　eyes　of　the　worldnot　that　I　believe　in　weakness　or　in　giving　way　to　things。　No　one　admires　the　strong　and　the　brave　more　than　I　do。　I　think　a　man's　a　fool　if　he　doesn't　fight　as　hard　as　he　can。　But　there's　a　brotherhood　of　the　dissatisfied　and　the　uneasy　and　the　anxious…hearted；　and　I　believe　it's　they　who　will　discover　the　Grail　in　the　end　if　it's　ever　going　to　be　discovered　at　all。〃

He　broke　off；　then　said　restlessly：　〃I　think　things　out；　you　know；　and　at　last　I　come　to　a　conclusion；　and　it　ends　by　being　a　platitude　that　all　the　goody；　goody　books　have　said　times　without　number。　But　all　the　same　that　doesn't　prevent　it　from　being　my　discovery。　It's　nothing　to　do　with　goodness　and　nothing　to　do　with　evil；　it's　nothing　to　do　with　strength；　and　nothing　to　do　with　weakness；　it　simply　is　that　there　are　some　people　who　want　what　they　can　see　and　no　more；　and　there　are　others；　the　baffled；　fighting　and　disordered　others；　for　whom　nothing　that　they　can　see　with　their　mortal　eyes　is　enough；　and　who'll　be　restless　all　their　days　with　their　queer　little　maps　and　their　mysterious；　thumbed　directions　to　some　island　or　other　that　they'll　never　reach　and　never　even　get　a　ship　for。〃

He　stopped　and　there　was　a　long　silence　between　them；　Maggie　was　silent　because　she　never　knew　what　to　say　when　he　burst　into　parables　and　divided　mankind；　under　strange　names；　into　different　camps。　And　yet　this　time　she　did　know　a　little　what　he　was　after。　There　was　that　house　of　Katharine　Mark's　the　other　day；　with　its　comfort　and　quiet　and　kind　smiling　clergymanand　there　was　this　strange　place　with　all　of　them　in　an　odd　quiver　of　excitement　waiting　for　something　to　happen。　But　she　couldn't　speak　to　him　about　that；　she　couldn't　say　anything　to　him　at　all。　He　cleared　his　throat　as　though　he　were　embarrassed　and　were　conscious　that　he　had　been　making　a　fool　of　himself。　Maggie　felt　that　he　was　disappointed　in　her。　She　was　sorry　for　that；　but　she　was　as　she　was。

〃Well；　I'm　glad　you're　happy；〃　he　said；　looking　at　her　wistfully。　He　got　up　and　stood　awkwardly　looking　at　her。

〃I　want　you　to　promise　me　something；〃　he　said；　〃that's　really　what　I　came　for。　I　want　you　to　promise　that　you　won't　in　any　case　leave　your　aunts　before　the　New　Year。〃

She　got　up；　looked　at　him　and　gave　him　her　hand。

〃Yes；〃　she　said。　〃I　promise　that。〃

The　year　had　only　a　week　or　two　more　to　run　and　she　was　not　afraid　of　that　little　space　of　time。　He　seemed　to　want　to　say　something　more；　but　after　hesitating　he　suddenly　made　a　bolt　for　the　door　and　she　could　hear　him　stumbling　downstairs。

She　forgot　him　almost　as　soon　as　he　had　left　the　house；　but　his　words　nevertheless　brought　her　to　consider　her　aunts。　Next　morning　at　breakfast　time　she　had　a　further　reason　to　consider　them。　Aunt　Elizabeth　met　her；　when　she　came　downstairs；　with　a　very　grave　face。

〃Your　aunt's　had　a　terrible　night；〃　she　said。　〃She's　insisted　on　coming　downstairsI　told　her　not。　She　never　listens　to　anything　I　say。〃

Maggie　could　see　that　something　more　than　ordinary　had　occurred。　Aunt　Elizabeth　was　on　the　edge　of　tears；　and　in　so　confused　a　state　of　mind　that　she　put　sugar　into　her　egg；　and　then　ate　it　with　a　puzzled　air　as　though　she　could　not　be　sure　why　it　tasted　so　strange。　When　Aunt　Anne　came　in　it　was　plain　enough　that　she　had　wrestled　with　demons　during　the　night。　Maggie　had　often　seen　her　before　battling　with　pain　and　refusing　to　be　defeated。　Now　she　looked　as　though　she　had　but　risen　from　the　dead。　It　was　a　ghost　in　very　truth　that　stood　there；　a　ghost　in　black　silk　dress　with　white　wristbands　and　a　stiff　white　collar；　black　hair；　so　tightly　drawn　back　and　ordered　that　it　was　like　a　shining　skull…cap。　Her　face　was　white；　with　the　effect　of　a　chalk　drawing　into　which　live；　black；　burning　eyes　had　been　stuck。　But　it　was　none　of　these　things　that　frightened　Maggie。　It　was