tales from two hemispheres[1].(两个半球的故事)-第28章
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hardly doing one's self good。〃
〃Then I have； at all events； followed the Biblical precept； and treated
my neighbor very much as I treat myself。〃
〃I did think；〃 continued Bertha； without heeding the remark； 〃that you
were at bottom kind…hearted； but too hopelessly well…bred ever to commit
an act of any decided complexion； either good or bad。 Now I see that I
have misjudged you； and that you are capable of outraging the most sacred
feelings of a woman's heart in mere wantonness； or for the sake of
satisfying a base curiosity； which never could have entered the mind of an
upright and generous man。〃
The hard； benumbed look in Ralph's face thawed in the warmth of her
presence； and her words； though stern； touched a secret spring in his heart。
He made two or three vain attempts to speak； then suddenly broke down；
and cried：
〃Bertha； Bertha； even if you scorn me； have patience with me； and
listen。〃
And he told her； in rapid； broken sentences； how his love for her had
grown from day to day； until he could no longer master it； and how； in an
unguarded moment； when his pride rose in fierce conflict against his love；
he had done this reckless deed of which he was now heartily ashamed。
The fervor of his words touched her； for she felt that they were sincere。
Large mute tears trembled in her eyelashes as she sat gazing tenderly at
him； and in the depth of her soul the wish awoke that she might have been
able to return this great and strong love of his； for she felt that in this love
lay the germ of a new； of a stronger and better man。 She noticed； with a
half…regretful pleasure； his handsome figure； his delicately shaped hands；
and the noble cast of his features； an overwhelming pity for him rose
within her； and she began to reproach herself for having spoken so harshly；
and； as she now thought； so unjustly。 Perhaps he read in her eyes the
unspoken wish。 He seized her hand； and his words fell with a warm and
alluring cadence upon her ear。
〃I shall not see you for a long time to come； Bertha；〃 said he； 〃but if； at
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the end of five or six years your hand is still free； and I return another
mana man to whom you could safely intrust your happinesswould you
then listen to what I may have to say to you？ For I promise； by all that
we both hold sacred〃
〃No； no；〃 interrupted she； hastily。 〃Promise nothing。 It would be
unjust toyourself； and perhaps also to me； for a sacred promise is a
terrible thing； Ralph。 Let us both remain free； and； if you return and still
love me； then come； and I shall receive you and listen to you。 And even
if you have outgrown your love； which is； indeed； more probable； come
still to visit me wherever I may be； and we shall meet as friends and
rejoice in the meeting。〃
〃You know best；〃 he murmured。 〃Let it be as you have said。〃
He arose； took her face between his hands； gazed long and tenderly
into her eyes； pressed a kiss upon her forehead； and hastened away。
That night Ralph boarded the steamer for Hull； and three weeks later
landed in New York。
IV。
The first three months of Ralph's sojourn in America were spent in
vain attempts to obtain a situation。 Day after day he walked down
Broadway； calling at various places of business and night after night he
returned to his cheer… less room with a faint heart and declining spirits。 It
was； after all； a more serious thing than he had imagined； to cut the cable
which binds one to the land of one's birth。 There a hundred subtile
influences； the existence of which no one suspects until the moment they
are withdrawn； unite to keep one in the straight path of rectitude； or at
least of external respectability； and Ralph's life had been all in society； the
opinion of his fellow…men had been the one force to which he implicitly
deferred； and the conscience by which he had been wont to test his actions
had been nothing but the aggregate judgment of his friends。 To such a
man the isolation and the utter irresponsibility of a life among strangers
was tenfold more dangerous； and Ralph found； to his horror； that his
character contained innumerable latent possibilities which the easy… going
life in his home probably never would have revealed to him。 It often cut
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him to the quick； when； on entering an office in his daily search for
employment； he was met by hostile or suspicious glances； or when； as it
occasionally happened； the door was slammed in his face； as if he were a
vagabond or an impostor。 Then the wolf was often roused within him；
and he felt a momentary wild desire to become what the people here
evidently believed him to be。 Many a night he sauntered irresolutely
about the gambling places in obscure streets； and the glare of light； the
rude shouts and clamors in the same moment repelled and attracted him。
If he went to the devil； who would care？ His father had himself pointed
out the way to him； and nobody could blame him if he followed the advice。
But then again a memory emerged from that chamber of his soul which
still he held sacred； and Bertha's deep…blue eyes gazed upon him with their
earnest look of tender warning and regret。
When the summer was half gone； Ralph had gained many a hard
victory over himself； and learned many a useful lesson； and at length he
swallowed his pride； divested himself of his fine clothes； and accepted a
position as assistant gardener at a villa on the Hudson。 And as he stood
perspiring with a spade in his hand； and a cheap broad…brimmed straw hat
on his head； he often took a grim pleasure in picturing to himself how his
aristocratic friends at home would receive him； if he should introduce
himself to them in this new costume。
〃After all； it was only my position they cared for；〃 he reflected； bitterly；
〃without my father's name what would I be to them？〃
Then； again； there was a certain satisfaction in knowing that； for his
present situation； humble as it was； he was indebted to nobody but himself；
and the thought that Bertha's eyes； if they could have seen him now would
have dwelt upon him with pleasure and approbation； went far to console
him for his aching back； his sunburned face； and his swollen and blistered
hands。
One day； as Ralph was raking the gravel… walks in the garden； his
employer's daughter； a young lady of seventeen； came out and spoke to
him。 His culture and refinement of manner struck her with wonder； and
she asked him to tell her his history； but then he suddenly grew very grave；
and she forbore pressing him。 From that time she attached a kind of
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romantic interest to him； and finally induced her father to obt
