winesburg,ohio-第4章

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he　other；　a　black…haired　boy　with　large　ears；　said　nothing　at　all　but　always　managed　to　get　her　into　the　darkness；　where　he　began　to　kiss　her。

For　a　time　the　tall　dark　girl　thought　she　would　marry　the　jeweler's　son。　　For　hours　she　sat　in　silence　listening　as　he　talked　to　her　and　then　she　began　to　be　afraid　of　something。　　Beneath　his　talk　of　virginity　she　began　to　think　there　was　a　lust　greater　than　in　all　the　others。　　At　times　it　seemed　to　her　that　as　he　talked　he　was　holding　her　body　in　his　hands。　　She　imagined　him　turning　it　slowly　about　in　the　white　hands　and　staring　at　it。　　At　night　she　dreamed　that　he　had　bitten　into　her　body　and　that　his　jaws　were　dripping。　　She　had　the　dream　three　times；　then　she　became　in　the　family　way　to　the　one　who　said　noth…　ing　at　all　but　who　in　the　moment　of　his　passion　actually　did　bite　her　shoulder　so　that　for　days　the　marks　of　his　teeth　showed。

After　the　tall　dark　girl　came　to　know　Doctor　Reefy　it　seemed　to　her　that　she　never　wanted　to　leave　him　again。　　She　went　into　his　office　one　morning　and　without　her　saying　anything　he　seemed　to　know　what　had　happened　to　her。

In　the　office　of　the　doctor　there　was　a　woman；　the　wife　of　the　man　who　kept　the　bookstore　in　Wines…　burg。　　Like　all　old…fashioned　country　practitioners；　Doctor　Reefy　pulled　teeth；　and　the　woman　who　waited　held　a　handkerchief　to　her　teeth　and　groaned。　Her　husband　was　with　her　and　when　the　tooth　was　taken　out　they　both　screamed　and　blood　ran　down　on　the　woman's　white　dress。　　The　tall　dark　girl　did　not　pay　any　attention。　　When　the　woman　and　the　man　had　gone　the　doctor　smiled。　　〃I　will　take　you　driving　into　the　country　with　me；〃　he　said。

For　several　weeks　the　tall　dark　girl　and　the　doctor　were　together　almost　every　day。　　The　condition　that　had　brought　her　to　him　passed　in　an　illness；　but　she　was　like　one　who　has　discovered　the　sweetness　of　the　twisted　apples；　she　could　not　get　her　mind　fixed　again　upon　the　round　perfect　fruit　that　is　eaten　in　the　city　apartments。　　In　the　fall　after　the　beginning　of　her　acquaintanceship　with　him　she　married　Doc…　tor　Reefy　and　in　the　following　spring　she　died。　　Dur…　ing　the　winter　he　read　to　her　all　of　the　odds　and　ends　of　thoughts　he　had　scribbled　on　the　bits　of　paper。　　After　he　had　read　them　he　laughed　and　stuffed　them　away　in　his　pockets　to　become　round　hard　balls。




MOTHER

ELIZABETH　WILLARD；　the　mother　of　George　Willard；　was　tall　and　gaunt　and　her　face　was　marked　with　smallpox　scars。　　Although　she　was　but　forty…five；　some　obscure　disease　had　taken　the　fire　out　of　her　figure。　　Listlessly　she　went　about　the　disorderly　old　hotel　looking　at　the　faded　wall…paper　and　the　ragged　carpets　and；　when　she　was　able　to　be　about；　doing　the　work　of　a　chambermaid　among　beds　soiled　by　the　slumbers　of　fat　traveling　men。　　Her　husband；　Tom　Willard；　a　slender；　graceful　man　with　square　shoulders；　a　quick　military　step；　and　a　black　mus…　tache　trained　to　turn　sharply　up　at　the　ends；　tried　to　put　the　wife　out　of　his　mind。　　The　presence　of　the　tall　ghostly　figure；　moving　slowly　through　the　halls；　he　took　as　a　reproach　to　himself。　　When　he　thought　of　her　he　grew　angry　and　swore。　　The　hotel　was　un…　profitable　and　forever　on　the　edge　of　failure　and　he　wished　himself　out　of　it。　　He　thought　of　the　old　house　and　the　woman　who　lived　there　with　him　as　things　defeated　and　done　for。　　The　hotel　in　which　he　had　begun　life　so　hopefully　was　now　a　mere　ghost　of　what　a　hotel　should　be。　　As　he　went　spruce　and　business…like　through　the　streets　of　Winesburg；　he　sometimes　stopped　and　turned　quickly　about　as　though　fearing　that　the　spirit　of　the　hotel　and　of　the　woman　would　follow　him　even　into　the　streets。　〃Damn　such　a　life；　damn　it！〃　he　sputtered　aimlessly。

Tom　Willard　had　a　passion　for　village　politics　and　for　years　had　been　the　leading　Democrat　in　a　strongly　Republican　community。　　Some　day；　he　told　himself；　the　fide　of　things　political　will　turn　in　my　favor　and　the　years　of　ineffectual　service　count　big　in　the　bestowal　of　rewards。　　He　dreamed　of　going　to　Congress　and　even　of　becoming　governor。　　Once　when　a　younger　member　of　the　party　arose　at　a　political　conference　and　began　to　boast　of　his　faithful　service；　Tom　Willard　grew　white　with　fury。　　〃Shut　up；　you；〃　he　roared；　glaring　about。　　〃What　do　you　know　of　service？　What　are　you　but　a　boy？　Look　at　what　I've　done　here！　I　was　a　Democrat　here　in　Winesburg　when　it　was　a　crime　to　be　a　Democrat。　In　the　old　days　they　fairly　hunted　us　with　guns。〃

Between　Elizabeth　and　her　one　son　George　there　was　a　deep　unexpressed　bond　of　sympathy；　based　on　a　girlhood　dream　that　had　long　ago　died。　　In　the　son's　presence　she　was　timid　and　reserved；　but　sometimes　while　he　hurried　about　town　intent　upon　his　duties　as　a　reporter；　she　went　into　his　room　and　closing　the　door　knelt　by　a　little　desk；　made　of　a　kitchen　table；　that　sat　near　a　window。　　In　the　room　by　the　desk　she　went　through　a　ceremony　that　was　half　a　prayer；　half　a　demand；　addressed　to　the　skies。　In　the　boyish　figure　she　yearned　to　see　something　half　forgotten　that　had　once　been　a　part　of　herself　re…　created。　　The　prayer　concerned　that。　　〃Even　though　I　die；　I　will　in　some　way　keep　defeat　from　you；〃　she　cried；　and　so　deep　was　her　determination　that　her　whole　body　shook。　　Her　eyes　glowed　and　she　clenched　her　fists。　　〃If　I　am　dead　and　see　him　becoming　a　meaningless　drab　figure　like　myself；　I　will　come　back；〃　she　declared。　　〃I　ask　God　now　to　give　me　that　privilege。　　I　demand　it。　　I　will　pay　for　it。　　God　may　beat　me　with　his　fists。　　I　will　take　any　blow　that　may　befall　if　but　this　my　boy　be　allowed　to　express　some…　thing　for　us　both。〃　Pausing　uncertainly；　the　woman　stared　about　the　boy's　room。　　〃And　do　not　let　him　become　smart　and　successful　either；〃　she　added　vaguely。

The　communion　between　George　Willard　and　his　mother　was　outwardly　a　formal　thing　without　mean…　ing。　　When　she　was　ill　and　sat　by　the　window　in　her　room　he　sometimes　went　in　the　evening　to　make　her　a　visit。　　They　sat　by　a　window　that　looked　over　the　roof　of　a　small　frame　building　into　Main　Street。　By　turning　their　heads　they　could　see　through　an…　other　window；　along　an　alleyway　that　ran　behind　the　Main　Street　stores　and　into　the　back　door　of　Abner　Groff's　bakery。　　Sometimes　as　they　sat　thus　a　picture　of　village　life　presented　itself　to　them。　　At　the　back　door　of　his　shop　appeared　Abner　Groff　with　a　stick　or　an　empty　milk　bottle　in　his　hand。　　For　a　long　time　there　was　a　feud　between　the　baker　and　a　grey　cat　that　belonged　to　Sylvester　West；　the　druggist。　The　boy　and　his　mother　saw　the　cat　creep　into　the　door　of　the　bakery　and　presently　emerge　followed　by　the　baker；　who　swore　and　waved　his　arms　about。　The　baker's　eyes　were　small　and　red　and　his　black　hair　and　beard　were　filled　with　flour　dust。　　Some…　times　he　was　so　angry　that；　although　the　cat　had　disappeared；　he　hurled　sticks；　bits　of　broken　glass；　and　even　some　of　the　tools　of　his　trade　about。　　Once　he　broke　a　window　at　the　back　of　Sinning's　Hard…　ware　Store。　　In　the　alley　the　grey　cat　crouched　behind　barrels　filled　with　torn　paper　and　broken　bottles　above　which　flew　a　black　swarm　of　flies。　　Once　when　she　was　alone；　and　after　watching　a　prolonged　and　ineffectual　outburst　on　the　part　of　the　baker；　Eliza…　beth　Willard　put　her　head　down　on　her　long　white　hands　and　wept。　　After　that　she　did　not　look　along　the　alleyway　any　more；　but　tried　to　forget　the　con…　test　between　the　bearded　man　and　the　cat。　　It　seemed　like　a　rehearsal　of　her　own　life；　terrible　in　its　vividness。

In　the　evening　when　the　son　sat　in　the　room　with　his　mother；　the　silence　made　them　both　feel　awk…　ward。　　Darkness　came　on　and　the　evening　train　came　in　at　the　station。　　In　the　street　below　feet　tramped　up　and　down　upon　a　board　sidewalk。　　In　the　station　yard；　after　the　evening　train　had　gone；　there　was　a　heavy　silence。　　Perhaps　Skinner　Leason；　the　express　agent；　moved　a　truck　the　length　of　the　station　plat…　form。　　Over　on　Main　Street　sounded　a　man's　voice；　laughing。　　The　door　of　the　express　office　banged。　George　Willard　arose　and　crossing　the　room　fumbled　for　the　doorknob。　　Sometimes　he　knocked　against　a　chair；　making　it　scrape　along　the　floor。　　By　the　win…　dow　sat　the　sick　woman；　perfectly　still；　listless。　　Her　long　hands；　white　and　bloodless；　could　be　seen　drooping　ov