winesburg,ohio-第40章

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g　Cincinnati　that　night；　saying　that　if　they　stayed　until　morning　the　owner　of　the　money　would　be　sure　to　find　them　out　and　make　trouble。　　Tom；　who　was　then　sixteen　years　old；　had　to　go　trudging　off　to　the　station　with　the　old　woman；　bearing　all　of　their　earthly　belong…　ings　done　up　in　a　worn…out　blanket　and　slung　across　his　back。　　By　his　side　walked　the　grandmother　urging　him　forward。　　Her　toothless　old　mouth　twitched　ner…　vously；　and　when　Tom　grew　weary　and　wanted　to　put　the　pack　down　at　a　street　crossing；　she　snatched　it　up　and　if　he　had　not　prevented　would　have　slung　it　across　her　own　back。　　When　they　got　into　the　train　and　it　had　run　out　of　the　city　she　was　as　delighted　as　a　girl　and　talked　as　the　boy　had　never　heard　her　talk　before。

All　through　the　night　as　the　train　rattled　along；　the　grandmother　told　Tom　tales　of　Winesburg　and　of　how　he　would　enjoy　his　life　working　in　the　fields　and　shooting　wild　things　in　the　woods　there。　　She　could　not　believe　that　the　tiny　village　of　fifty　years　before　had　grown　into　a　thriving　town　in　her　ab…　sence；　and　in　the　morning　when　the　train　came　to　Winesburg　did　not　want　to　get　off。　　〃It　isn't　what　I　thought。　　It　may　be　hard　for　you　here；〃　she　said；　and　then　the　train　went　on　its　way　and　the　two　stood　confused；　not　knowing　where　to　turn；　in　the　pres…　ence　of　Albert　Longworth；　the　Winesburg　baggage　master。

But　Tom　Foster　did　get　along　all　right。　　He　was　one　to　get　along　anywhere。　　Mrs。　White；　the　banker's　wife；　employed　his　grandmother　to　work　in　the　kitchen　and　he　got　a　place　as　stable　boy　in　the　bank…　er's　new　brick　barn。

In　Winesburg　servants　were　hard　to　get。　　The　woman　who　wanted　help　in　her　housework　em…　ployed　a　〃hired　girl〃　who　insisted　on　sitting　at　the　table　with　the　family。　　Mrs。　White　was　sick　of　hired　girls　and　snatched　at　the　chance　to　get　hold　of　the　old　city　woman。　　She　furnished　a　room　for　the　boy　Tom　upstairs　in　the　barn。　　〃He　can　mow　the　lawn　and　run　errands　when　the　horses　do　not　need　atten…　tion；〃　she　explained　to　her　husband。

Tom　Foster　was　rather　small　for　his　age　and　had　a　large　head　covered　with　stiff　black　hair　that　stood　straight　up。　　The　hair　emphasized　the　bigness　of　his　head。　　His　voice　was　the　softest　thing　imaginable；　and　he　was　himself　so　gentle　and　quiet　that　he　slipped　into　the　life　of　the　town　without　attracting　the　least　bit　of　attention。

One　could　not　help　wondering　where　Tom　Foster　got　his　gentleness。　　In　Cincinnati　he　had　lived　in　a　neighborhood　where　gangs　of　tough　boys　prowled　through　the　streets；　and　all　through　his　early　forma…　tive　years　he　ran　about　with　tough　boys。　　For　a　while　he　was　a　messenger　for　a　telegraph　company　and　delivered　messages　in　a　neighborhood　sprinkled　with　houses　of　prostitution。　　The　women　in　the　houses　knew　and　loved　Tom　Foster　and　the　tough　boys　in　the　gangs　loved　him　also。

He　never　asserted　himself。　　That　was　one　thing　that　helped　him　escape。　　In　an　odd　way　he　stood　in　the　shadow　of　the　wall　of　life；　was　meant　to　stand　in　the　shadow。　　He　saw　the　men　and　women　in　the　houses　of　lust；　sensed　their　casual　and　horrible　love　affairs；　saw　boys　fighting　and　listened　to　their　tales　of　thieving　and　drunkenness；　unmoved　and　strangely　unaffected。

Once　Tom　did　steal。　　That　was　while　he　still　lived　in　the　city。　　The　grandmother　was　ill　at　the　time　and　he　himself　was　out　of　work。　　There　was　nothing　to　eat　in　the　house；　and　so　he　went　into　a　harness　shop　on　a　side　street　and　stole　a　dollar　and　seventy…five　cents　out　of　the　cash　drawer。

The　harness　shop　was　run　by　an　old　man　with　a　long　mustache。　　He　saw　the　boy　lurking　about　and　thought　nothing　of　it。　　When　he　went　out　into　the　street　to　talk　to　a　teamster　Tom　opened　the　cash　drawer　and　taking　the　money　walked　away。　　Later　he　was　caught　and　his　grandmother　settled　the　mat…　ter　by　offering　to　come　twice　a　week　for　a　month　and　scrub　the　shop。　　The　boy　was　ashamed；　but　he　was　rather　glad；　too。　　〃It　is　all　right　to　be　ashamed　and　makes　me　understand　new　things；〃　he　said　to　the　grandmother；　who　didn't　know　what　the　boy　was　talking　about　but　loved　him　so　much　that　it　didn't　matter　whether　she　understood　or　not。

For　a　year　Tom　Foster　lived　in　the　banker's　stable　and　then　lost　his　place　there。　　He　didn't　take　very　good　care　of　the　horses　and　he　was　a　constant　source　of　irritation　to　the　banker's　wife。　　She　told　him　to　mow　the　lawn　and　he　forgot。　　Then　she　sent　him　to　the　store　or　to　the　post　office　and　he　did　not　come　back　but　joined　a　group　of　men　and　boys　and　spent　the　whole　afternoon　with　them；　standing　about；　lis…　tening　and　occasionally；　when　addressed；　saying　a　few　words。　　As　in　the　city　in　the　houses　of　prostitu…　tion　and　with　the　rowdy　boys　running　through　the　streets　at　night；　so　in　Winesburg　among　its　citizens　he　had　always　the　power　to　be　a　part　of　and　yet　distinctly　apart　from　the　life　about　him。

After　Tom　lost　his　place　at　Banker　White's　he　did　not　live　with　his　grandmother；　although　often　in　the　evening　she　came　to　visit　him。　　He　rented　a　room　at　the　rear　of　a　little　frame　building　belonging　to　old　Rufus　Whiting。　　The　building　was　on　Duane　Street；　just　off　Main　Street；　and　had　been　used　for　years　as　a　law　office　by　the　old　man；　who　had　become　too　feeble　and　forgetful　for　the　practice　of　his　profession　but　did　not　realize　his　inefficiency。　　He　liked　Tom　and　let　him　have　the　room　for　a　dollar　a　month。　　In　the　late　afternoon　when　the　lawyer　had　gone　home　the　boy　had　the　place　to　himself　and　spent　hours　lying　on　the　floor　by　the　stove　and　thinking　of　things。　　In　the　evening　the　grandmother　came　and　sat　in　the　lawyer's　chair　to　smoke　a　pipe　while　Tom　remained　silent；　as　he　always；　did　in　the　presence　of　everyone。

Often　the　old　woman　talked　with　great　vigor。　Sometimes　she　was　angry　about　some　happening　at　the　banker's　house　and　scolded　away　for　hours。　　Out　of　her　own　earnings　she　bought　a　mop　and　regularly　scrubbed　the　lawyer's　office。　　Then　when　the　place　was　spotlessly　clean　and　smelled　clean　she　lighted　her　clay　pipe　and　she　and　Tom　had　a　smoke　to…　gether。　　〃When　you　get　ready　to　die　then　I　will　die　also；〃　she　said　to　the　boy　lying　on　the　floor　beside　her　chair。

Tom　Foster　enjoyed　life　in　Winesburg。　　He　did　odd　jobs；　such　as　cutting　wood　for　kitchen　stoves　and　mowing　the　grass　before　houses。　　In　late　May　and　early　June　he　picked　strawberries　in　the　fields。　　He　had　time　to　loaf　and　he　enjoyed　loafing。　　Banker　White　had　given　him　a　cast…off　coat　which　was　too　large　for　him；　but　his　grandmother　cut　it　down；　and　he　had　also　an　overcoat；　got　at　the　same　place；　that　was　lined　with　fur。　　The　fur　was　worn　away　in　spots；　but　the　coat　was　warm　and　in　the　winter　Tom　slept　in　it。　　He　thought　his　method　of　getting　along　good　enough　and　was　happy　and　satisfied　with　the　way　fife　in　Winesburg　had　turned　out　for　him。

The　most　absurd　little　things　made　Tom　Foster　happy。　　That；　I　suppose；　was　why　people　loved　him。　In　Hern's　Grocery　they　would　be　roasting　coffee　on　Friday　afternoon；　preparatory　to　the　Saturday　rush　of　trade；　and　the　rich　odor　invaded　lower　Main　Street。　　Tom　Foster　appeared　and　sat　on　a　box　at　the　rear　of　the　store。　　For　an　hour　he　did　not　move　but　sat　perfectly　still；　filling　his　being　with　the　spicy　odor　that　made　him　half　drunk　with　happiness。　　〃I　like　it；〃　he　said　gently。　　〃It　makes　me　think　of　things　far　away；　places　and　things　like　that。〃

One　night　Tom　Foster　got　drunk。　　That　came　about　in　a　curious　way。　　He　never　had　been　drunk　before；　and　indeed　in　all　his　fife　had　never　taken　a　drink　of　anything　intoxicating；　but　he　felt　he　needed　to　be　drunk　that　one　time　and　so　went　and　did　it。

In　Cincinnati；　when　he　lived　there；　Tom　had　found　out　many　things；　things　about　ugliness　and　crime　and　lust。　　Indeed；　he　knew　more　of　these　things　than　anyone　else　in　Winesburg。　　The　matter　of　sex　in　particular　had　presented　itself　to　him　in　a　quite　horrible　way　and　had　made　a　deep　impression　on　his　mind。　　He　thought；　after　what　he　had　seen　of　the　women　standing　before　the　squalid　houses　on　cold　nights　and　the　look　he　had　seen　in　the　eyes　of　the　men　who　stopped　to　talk　to　them；　that　he　would　put　sex　altogether　out　of　his　own　life。　　One　of　the　women　of　the　neighborhood　tempted　him　once　and　he　went　into　a　room　with　her。　　He　never　forgot　the　smell　of　the　room　nor　the　gre