the expedition of humphry clinker-第55章

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the　apoplexy；　which　has　a　little　impaired　his　memory；　but　he
retains　all　the　oddity　of　his　character　in　perfection；　and　is
going　back　to　Italy　by　the　way　of　Geneva；　that　he　may　have　a
conference　with　his　friend　Voltaire；　about　giving　the　last　blow
to　the　Christian　superstition　　He　intends　to　take　shipping　here
for　Holland　or　Hamburgh；　for　it　is　a　matter　of　great　indifference
to　him　at　what　part　of　the　continent　he　first　lands。

When　he　was　going　abroad　the　last　time；　he　took　his　passage　in　a
ship　bound　for　Leghorn；　and　his　baggage　was　actually　embarked。　In
going　down　the　river　by　water；　he　was　by　mistake　put　on　board　of
another　vessel　under　sail；　and；　upon　inquiry　understood　she　was
bound　to　Petersburgh　　'Petersburgh；　　Petersburgh　（said　he）　I
don't　care　if　I　go　along　with　you。'　He　forthwith　struck　a　bargain
with　the　captain；　bought　a　couple　of　shirts　of　the　mate；　and　was
safe　conveyed　to　the　court　of　Muscovy；　from　whence　he　travelled
by　land　to　receive　his　baggage　at　Leghorn　　He　is　now　more　likely
than　ever　to　execute　a　whim　of　the　same　nature；　and　I　will　hold
any　wager；　that　as　he　cannot　be　supposed　to　live　much　longer；
according　to　the　course　of　nature；　his　exit　will　be　as　odd　as　his
life　has　been　extravagant。

＇This　gentleman　crossed　the　sea　to　France；　visited　and　conferred
with　Mr　de　Voltaire　at　Fernay；　resumed　his　old　circuit　at　Genoa；
and　died　in　1767；　at　the　house　of　Vanini　in　Florence。　Being　taken
with　a　suppression　of　urine；　he　resolved；　in　imitation　of
Pomponius　Atticus；　to　take　himself　off　by　abstinence；　and　this
resolution　he　executed　like　an　ancient　Roman。　He　saw　company　to
the　last；　cracked　his　jokes；　conversed　freely；　and　entertained
his　guests　with　music。　On　the　third　day　of　his　fast；　he　found
himself　entirely　freed　of　his　complaint；　but　refused　taking
sustenance。　He　said　the　most　disagreeable　part　of　the　voyage　was
past；　and　he　should　be　a　cursed　fool　indeed；　to　put　about　ship；
when　he　was　just　entering　the　harbour。　In　these　sentiments　he
persisted；　without　any　marks　of　affectation；　and　thus　finished
his　course　with　such　case　and　serenity；　as　would　have　done　honour
to　the　firmest　Stoic　of　antiquity。＇

But；　to　return　from　one　humourist　to　another；　you　must　know　I
have　received　benefit；　both　from　the　chalybeate　and　the　sea；　and
would　have　used　them　longer；　had　not　a　most　ridiculous　adventure；
by　making　me　the　town…talk；　obliged　me　to　leave　the　place；　for　I
can't　bear　the　thoughts　of　affording　a　spectacle　to　the　multitude
Yesterday　morning；　at　six　o'clock；　I　went　down　to　the　bathing…place；
attended　by　my　servant　Clinker；　who　waited　on　the　beach　as
usual　　The　wind　blowing　from　the　north；　and　the　weather　being
hazy；　the　water　proved　so　chill；　that　when　I　rose　from　my　first
plunge；　I　could　not　help　sobbing　and　bawling　out；　from　the
effects　of　the　cold。　Clinker；　who　heard　me　cry；　and　saw　me
indistinctly　a　good　way　without　the　guide；　buffetting　the　waves；
took　it　for　granted　I　was　drowning；　and　rushing　into　the　sea；
clothes　and　all；　overturned　the　guide　in　his　hurry　to　save　his
master。　I　had　swam　out　a　few　strokes；　when　hearing　a　noise；　I
turned　about　and　saw　Clinker；　already　up　to　his　neck；　advancing
towards　me；　with　all　the　wildness　of　terror　in　his　aspect　　Afraid
he　would　get　out　of　his　depth；　I　made　haste　to　meet　him；　when；
all　of　a　sudden；　he　seized　me　by　one　ear；　dragged　me　bellowing
with　pain　upon　the　dry　beach；　to　the　astonishment　of　all　the
people；　men；　and　women；　and　children　there　assembled。

I　was　so　exasperated　by　the　pain　of　my　ear；　and　the　disgrace　of
being　exposed　in　such　an　attitude；　that；　in　the　first　transport　I
struck　him　down；　then；　running　back　into　the　sea；　took　shelter　in
the　machine　where　my　clothes　had　been　deposited。　I　soon
recollected　myself　so　far　as　to　do　justice　to　the　poor　fellow；
who；　in　great　simplicity　of　heart；　had　acted　from　motives　of
fidelity　and　affection　　Opening　the　door　of　the　machine；　which
was　immediately　drawn　on　shore；　I　saw　him　standing　by　the　wheel；
dropping　like　a　water…work；　and　trembling　from　head　to　foot；
partly　from　cold；　and　partly　from　the　dread　of　having　offended
his　master　　I　made　my　acknowledgments　for　the　blow　he　had
received；　assured　him　I　was　not　angry；　and　insisted　upon　his
going　home　immediately；　to　shift　his　clothes；　a　command　which　he
could　hardly　find　in　his　heart　to　execute；　so　well　disposed　was
he　to　furnish　the　mob　with　further　entertainment　at　my　expence。
Clinker's　intention　was　laudable　without　all　doubt；　but；
nevertheless；　I　am　a　sufferer　by　his　simplicity　　I　have　had　a
burning　heat；　and　a　strange　buzzing　noise　in　that　ear；　ever　since
it　was　so　roughly　treated；　and　I　cannot　walk　the　street　without
being　pointed　at；　as　the　monster　that　was　hauled　naked　a…shore
upon　the　beach　　Well；　I　affirm　that　folly　is　often　more　provoking
than　knavery；　aye　and　more　mischievous　too；　and　whether　a　man　had
not　better　choose　a　sensible　rogue；　than　an　honest　simpleton　for
his　servant；　is　no　matter　of　doubt　with

Yours；
MATT。　BRAMBLE
SCARBOROUGH；　July　4。



To　Sir　WATKIN　PHILLIPS；　Bart　of　Jesus　college；　Oxon。

DEAR　WAT；

We　made　a　precipitate　retreat　from　Scarborough；　owing　to　the
excessive　delicacy　of　our　'squire；　who　cannot　bear　the　thoughts
of　being　proetereuntium　digito　monstratus。

One　morning；　while　he　was　bathing　in　the　sea；　his　man　Clinker
took　it　in　his　head　that　his　master　was　in　danger　of　drowning；
and；　in　this　conceit；　plunging　into　the　water；　he　lugged　him　out
naked　on　the　beach；　and　almost　pulled　off　his　ear　in　the
operation。　You　may　guess　how　this　atchievement　was　relished　by　Mr
Bramble；　who　is　impatient；　irascible；　and　has　the　most
extravagant　ideas　of　decency　and　decorum　in　the　oeconomy　of　his
own　person　　In　the　first　ebullition　of　his　choler；　he　knocked
Clinker　down　with　his　fist；　but　he　afterwards　made　him　amends　for
his　outrage；　and；　in　order　to　avoid　further　notice　of　the　people；
among　whom　this　incident　had　made　him　remarkable；　he　resolved　to
leave　Scarborough　next　day。

We　set　out　accordingly　over　the　moors；　by　the　way　of　Whitby；　and
began　our　journey　betimes；　in　hopes　of　reaching　Stockton　that
night；　but　in　this　hope　we　were　disappointed　　In　the　afternoon；
crossing　a　deep　gutter；　made　by　a　torrent；　the　coach　was　so　hard
strained；　that　one　of　the　irons；　which　connect　the　frame；　snapt；
and　the　leather　sling　on　the　same　side；　cracked　in　the　middle。　The
shock　was　so　great；　that　my　sister　Liddy　struck　her　head　against
Mrs　Tabitha's　nose　with　such　violence　that　the　blood　flowed；　and
Win。　Jenkins　was　darted　through　a　small　window　in　that　part　of
the　carriage　next　the　horses；　where　she　stuck　like　a　bawd　in　the
pillory；　till　she　was　released　by　the　hand　of　Mr　Bramble。　We　were
eight　miles　distant　from　any　place　where　we　could　be　supplied
with　chaises；　and　it　was　impossible　to　proceed　with　the　coach；
until　the　damage　should　be　repaired　　in　this　dilemma；　we
discovered　a　blacksmith's　forge　on　the　edge　of　a　small　common；
about　half　a　mile　from　the　scene　of　our　disaster；　and　thither　the
postilions　made　shift　to　draw　the　carriage；　slowly；　while　the
company　walked　a…foot；　but　we　found　the　black…smith　had　been　dead
some　days；　and　his　wife；　who　had　been　lately　delivered；　was
deprived　of　her　senses；　under　the　care　of　a　nurse；　hired　by　the
parish。　We　were　exceedingly　mortified　at　this　disappointment；
which；　however；　was　surmounted　by　the　help　of　Humphry　Clinker；
who　is　a　surprising　compound　of　genius　and　simplicity。　Finding
the　tools　of　the　defunct；　together　with　some　coals　in　the　smithy；
he　unscrewed　the　damaged　iron　in　a　twinkling；　and；　kindling　a
fire；　united　the　broken　pieces　with　equal　dexterity　and　dispatch　
While　he　was　at　work　upon　this　operation；　the　poor　woman　in　the
straw；　struck　with　the　well…known　sound　of　the　hammer　and　anvil；
started　up；　and；　notwithstanding　all　the　nurse's　efforts；　came
running　into　the　smithy；　where；　throwing　her　arms　about　Clinker's
neck；　'Ah；　Jacob　（cried　she）　how　could　you　leave　me　in　such　a
condition？'

This　incident　was　too　pathetic　to　occasion　mirth　　it　brought
tears　into　the　eyes　of　all　present。　The　poor　widow　was　put　to　bed
again；　and　we　did　not　leave　the　village　without　doing　something