benita-第9章
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stewardess awoke Benita from the uneasy sleep in which she lay； to
tell her that an old gentleman had come off in the tug and wished to
see her； for fear of exciting false hopes she was very careful to add
that word 〃old。〃 With her help Benita dressed herself； and as the sun
rose； flooding the Berea； the Point； the white town and fair Natal
beyond with light； she went on to the deck； and there； leaning over
the bulwark； saw a thin； grey…bearded man of whom after all these
years the aspect was still familiar。
A curious thrill went through her as she looked at him leaning there
lost in thought。 After all； he was her father； the man to whom she
owed her presence upon this bitter earth； this place of terrors and
delights； of devastation and hope supernal。 Perhaps； too； he had been
as much sinned against as sinning。 She stepped up to him and touched
him on the shoulder。
〃Father；〃 she said。
He turned round with all the quickness of a young man； for about him
there was a peculiar agility which his daughter had inherited。 Like
his mind； his body was still nimble。
〃My darling；〃 he said； 〃I should have known your voice anywhere。 It
has haunted my sleep for years。 My darling； thank you for coming back
to me； and thank God for preserving you when so many were lost。〃 Then
he threw his arms about her and kissed her。
She shrank from him a little； for by inadvertence he had pressed upon
the wound in her forehead。
〃Forgive me；〃 she said； 〃it is my head。 It was injured； you know。〃
Then he saw the bandage about her brow； and was very penitent。
〃They did not tell me that you had been hurt； Benita；〃 he exclaimed in
his light； refined voice； one of the stamps of that gentility of blood
and breeding whereof all his rough years and errors had been unable to
deprive him。 〃They only told me that you were saved。 It is part of my
ill…fortune that at our first moment of greeting I should give you
pain； who have caused you so much already。〃
Benita felt that the words were an apology for the past； and her heart
was touched。
〃It is nothing；〃 she answered。 〃You did not know or mean it。〃
〃No； dear； I never knew or meant it。 Believe me； I was not a willing
sinner； only a weak one。 You are beautiful； Benitafar more so than I
expected。〃
〃What；〃 she answered smiling； 〃with this bandage round my head？ Well；
in your eyes； perhaps。〃 But inwardly she thought to herself that the
description would be more applicable to her father； who in truth；
notwithstanding his years； was wonderfully handsome； with his quick
blue eyes； mobile face； gentle mouth with the wistful droop at the
corners so like her own； and grey beard。 How； she wondered； could this
be the man who had struck her mother。 Then she remembered him as he
had been years before when he was a slave to liquor； and knew that the
answer was simple。
〃Tell me about your escape； love；〃 he said； patting her hand with his
thin fingers。 〃You don't know what I've suffered。 I was waiting at the
Royal Hotel here； when the cable came announcing the loss of the
/Zanzibar/ and all on board。 For the first time for many a year I
drank spirits to drown my griefdon't be afraid； dearfor the first
time and the last。 Then afterwards came another cable giving the names
of those who were known to be saved； andthank God； oh！ thank God
yours among them；〃 and he gasped at the recollection of that relief。
〃Yes；〃 she said； 〃I suppose I should thankHimand another。 Have you
heard the story abouthow Mr。 Seymour saved me； I mean？〃
〃Some of it。 While you were dressing yourself； I have been talking to
the officer who was in command of your boat。 He was a brave man；
Benita； and I am sorry to tell you he is gone。〃
She grasped a stanchion and clung there； staring at him with a wild；
white face。
〃How do you know that； Father？〃
Mr。 Clifford drew a copy of the /Natal Mercury/ of the previous day
from the pocket of his ulster； and while she waited in an agony he
hunted through the long columns descriptive of the loss of the
/Zanzibar/。 Presently he came to the paragraph he sought； and read it
aloud to her。 It ran：
〃The searchers on the coast opposite the scene of the shipwreck
report that they met a Kaffir who was travelling along the
seashore； who produced a gold watch which he said he had taken
from the body of a white man that he found lying on the sand at
the mouth of the Umvoli River。 Inside the watch is engraved； 'To
Seymour Robert Seymour； from his uncle； on his twenty…first
birthday。' The name of Mr。 Seymour appears as a first…class
passenger to Durban by the /Zanzibar/。 He was a member of an old
English family in Lincolnshire。 This was his second journey to
South Africa； which he visited some years ago with his brother on
a big…game shooting expedition。 All who knew him then will join
with us in deploring his loss。 Mr。 Seymour was a noted shot and an
English gentleman of the best stamp。 He was last seen by one of
the survivors of the catastrophe； carrying Miss Clifford； the
daughter of the well…known Natal pioneer of that name； into a
boat； but as this young lady is reported to have been saved； and
as he entered the boat with her； no explanation is yet forthcoming
as to how he came to his sad end。〃
〃I fear that is clear enough；〃 said Mr。 Clifford； as he folded up his
paper。
〃Yes； clear enough；〃 she repeated in a strained voice。 〃And yetyet
oh！ Father； he had just asked me to marry him； and I can't believe
that he is dead before I had time to answer。〃
〃Good Heavens！〃 said the old man； 〃they never told me that。 It is
dreadfully sad。 God help you； my poor child！ There is nothing more to
say except that he was only one among three hundred who have gone with
him。 Be brave now； before all these people。 Lookhere comes the tug。〃
The following week was very much of a blank to Benita。 When they
reached shore some old friends of her father's took her and him to
their house； a quiet place upon the Berea。 Here； now that the first
excitement of rescue and grief was over； the inevitable reaction set
in； bringing with it weakness so distressing that the doctor insisted
upon her going to bed； where she remained for the next five days。 With
the healing up of the wound in her head her strength came back to her
at last； but it was a very sad Benita who crept from her room one
afternoon on to the verandah and looked out at the cruel sea； peaceful
now as the sky above。
Her father； who had nursed her tenderly during these dark days； came
and sat by her； taking her hand in his。
〃This is capital；〃 he said； glancing at her anxiously。 〃You are
getting quite yourself again。〃
〃I shall never be myself again；〃 she answered。 〃My old self is dead；
although the outside of me has recovered。 Father； I suppose that it is
wrong； but I wish that I were dead too。 I wish that he had taken me
with him when he jumped into the sea to lighten the boat。〃
〃Don't speak like that；〃 he broke in hastily。 〃Of course I know that I
am not much to youhow can I be after all that is past？ But I love
you； dear； and if I were left quite alone again〃 And he broke off。
〃You shall not be left alone if I can help it；〃 she replied； looking
at the old man with her dark and tender eyes。 〃We have only each other
in the world now； have we？ The rest have gone； never to return。〃
He threw his arms about her； and； drawing her to him； kissed her
passionately。
〃If only you could learn to love me！〃 he said。
〃I do love you；〃 she answered； 〃who now shall never love any other man
upon the earth。〃
This was the beginning of a deep affection which sprang up between Mr。
Clifford and his daughter； and continued to the end。
〃Is there any news？〃 she asked a little later。
〃Nonenone about him。 The tide took his body away； no doubt； after
the Kaffir had gone。 I remember him well now。 He
