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第115章

david elginbrod-第115章

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Women are a lovely mysteryveiled; however; not shut up。

Her twilights were more clear than our mid…day;
She dreamt devoutlier than most used to pray。

DR。 DONNE。


Perhaps the greatest benefit that resulted to Hugh from being thus
made a pilgrim and a stranger in the earth; was; that Nature herself
saw him; and took him in; Hitherto; as I have already said; Hugh's
acquaintance with Nature had been chiefly a second…hand onehe knew
friends of hers。  Nature in poetrynot in the form of Thomsonian or
Cowperian descriptions; good as they are; but closely interwoven
with and expository of human thought and feelinghad long been dear
to him。  In this form he had believed that he knew her so well; as
to be able to reproduce the lineaments of her beloved face。  But now
she herself appeared to himthe grand; pure; tender mother; ancient
in years; yet ever young; appeared to him; not in the mirror of a
man's words; but bending over him from the fathomless bosom of the
sky; from the outspread arms of the forest…trees; from the silent
judgment of the everlasting hills。  She spoke to him from the depths
of air; from the winds that harp upon the boughs; and trumpet upon
the great caverns; and from the streams that sing as they go to be
lost in rest。  She would have shone upon him out of the eyes of her
infants; the flowers; but they had their faces turned to her breast
now; hiding from the pale blue eyes and the freezing breath of old
Winter; who was looking for them with his face bent close to their
refuge。  And he felt that she had a power to heal and to instruct;
yea; that she was a power of life; and could speak to the heart and
conscience mighty words about God and Truth and Love。

For he did not forsake his dead home in haste。  He lingered over it;
and roamed about its neighbourhood。  Regarding all about him with
quiet; almost passive spirit; he was astonished to find how his eyes
opened to see nature in the mass。  Before; he had beheld only
portions and beauties。  When or how the change passed upon him he
could not tell。  But he no longer looked for a pretty eyebrow or a
lovely lip on the face of nature: the soul of nature looked out upon
him from the harmony of all; guiding him unsought to the discovery
of a thousand separate delights; while from the expanded vision new
meanings flashed upon him every day。  He beheld in the great All the
expression of the thoughts and feelings of the maker of the heavens
and the earth and the sea and the fountains of water。  The powers of
the world to come; that is; the world of unseen truth and ideal
reality; were upon him in the presence of the world that now is。
For the first time in his life; he felt at home with nature; and
while he could moan with the wintry wind; he no longer sighed in the
wintry sunshine; that foretold; like the far…off flutter of a
herald's banner; the approach of victorious lady…spring。

With the sorrow and loneliness of loss within him; and Nature around
him seeming to sigh for a fuller expression of the thought that
throbbed within her; it is no wonder that the form of Margaret; the
gathering of the thousand forms of nature into one intensity and
harmony of loveliness; should rise again upon the world of his
imagination; to set no more。  Father and mother were gone。  Margaret
remained behind。  Nature lay around him like a shining disk; that
needed a visible centre of intensest lighta shield of silver; that
needed but a diamond boss: Margaret alone could be that centrethat
diamond light…giver; for she alone; of all the women he knew; seemed
so to drink of the sun…rays of God; as to radiate them forth; for
very fulness; upon the clouded world。

She had dawned on him like a sweet crescent moon; hanging far…off in
a cold and low horizon: now; lifting his eyes; he saw that same moon
nearly at the full; and high overhead; yet leaning down towards him
through the deep blue air; that overflowed with her calm triumph of
light。  He knew that he loved her now。  He knew that every place he
went through; caught a glimmer of romance the moment he thought of
her; that every most trifling event that happened to himself; looked
like a piece of a story…book the moment he thought of telling it to
her。  But the growth of these feelings had been gradualso slow and
gradual; that when he recognized them; it seemed to him as if he had
felt them from the first。  The fact was; that as soon as he began to
be capable of loving Margaret; he had begun to love her。  He had
never been able to understand her till he was driven into the
desert。  But now that Nature revealed herself to him full of Life;
yea; of the Life of Life; namely; of God himself; it was natural
that he should honour and love that 'lady of her own'; that he
should recognize Margaret as greater than himself; as nearer to the
heart of Natureyea; of God the father of all。  She had been one
with Nature from childhood; and when he began to be one with nature
too; he must become one with her。

And now; in absence; he began to study the character of her whom; in
presence; he had thought he knew perfectly。  He soon found that it
was a Manoa; a golden city in a land of Paradisetoo good to be
believed in; except by him who was blessed with the beholding of it。
He knew now that she had always understood what he was only just
waking to recognize。  And he felt that the scholar had been very
patient with the stupidity of the master; and had drawn from his
lessons a nourishment of which he had known nothing himself。

But dared he think of marrying her; a creature inspired with a
presence of the Spirit of God which none but the saints enjoy; and
thence clothed with a garment of beauty; which her spirit wove out
of its own loveliness?  She was a being to glorify any man merely by
granting him her habitual presence: what; then; if she gave her
love!  She would bring with her the presence of God himself; for she
walked ever in his light; and that light clung to her and radiated
from her。  True; many young maidens must be walking in the sunshine
of God; else whence the light and loveliness and bloom; the smile
and the laugh of their youth?  But Margaret not only walked in this
light: she knew it and whence it came。  She looked up to its source;
and it illuminated her face。

The silent girl of old days; whose countenance wore the stillness of
an unsunned pool; as she listened with reverence to his lessons; had
blossomed into the calm; stately woman; before whose presence he
felt rebuked he knew not why; upon whose face lay slumbering
thought; ever ready to wake into life and motion。  Dared he love
her?  Dared he tell her that he loved her?  Dared he; so poor; so
worthless; seek for himself such a world's treasure?He might have
known that worth does not need honour; that its lowliness is content
with ascribing it。

Some of my readers may be inclined to think that I hide; for the
sake of my heropoor little hero; one of God's children; learning
to walkan inevitable struggle between his love and his pride;
inasmuch as; being but a tutor; he might be expected to think the
more of his good family; and the possibility of his one day coming
to honour without the drawback of having done anything to merit it;
a title being almost within his grasp; while Margaret was a
ploughman's daughter; and a lady's maid。  But; although I know more
of Hugh's faults than I have thought it at all necessary to bring
out in my story; I protest that; had he been capable of giving the
name of love to a feeling in whose presence pride dared to speak; I
should have considered him unworthy of my poor pen。  In plain
language; I doubt if I should have cared to write his story at all。

He gathered together; as I have said; the few memorials of the old
ship gone down in the quiet ocean of time; paid one visit of
sorrowful gladness to his parent's grave; over which he raised no
futile stoneleaving it; like the forms within it; in the hands of
holy decay; and took his roadwhither?  To Margaret's hometo see
old Janet; and to go once to the grave of his second father。  Then
he would return to the toil and hunger and hope of London。

What made Hugh go to Turriepuffit?

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